I know I'm a little late but...
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I don't have many problems with just cutting her off and never talking or seeing her again(It's not like she'll bother coming to my wedding either), but thanks to the internet and phones my dad is still in constant contact with her. As weird as it is, despite how horrible she was to my dad growing up, and continually now, my dad won't stand up to her and just tries to be nice, because, as he says, "She's still my mom."
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My advice would be more of the "give back her medicine respectfully approach" If she wants to be mean, that's fine but you don't let her walk over you. You respectfully (because she's your grandmother) tell her that you'd rather not come to talk to her based on what she's done before. She'll understand the hint.
I say that because I have a similar situation with my own grandmother. I used to live in Vegas and she would rather go gambling than spend time with me, her own grandson. As well, my cousins can get away with a LOT that I couldn't get away with. Regards to family father, your dad sounds a little too easy going. I'm not saying outright rebel against her. But sometimes you have to speak up for yourself rather than taking emotional abuse. My own dad is outspoken but when the argument isn't worth it, he will hang up on his mother if it makes him angry. We have choices to make. Telling others rather than bottling something inside works wonders on your self esteem.