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Unread 04-20-2010, 12:04 AM   #1
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Books The Silmarillion

You know, everyone has always told me that it's dry and boring and blah blah blah, but I'm about two thirds of the way through, and I'm just not finding that at all. Now granted, I've read quite a few epics, so I'm a bit more accustomed to the type of storytelling, but still, it doesn't really seem THAT slow. I mean, you're not getting page after page of "Beowulf gets some more treasure. Here's where it all came from and who owned it and their family history."

Anyway, it IS the sort of story that needs to be consumed in small bites. It's not the sort of thing where you can sit down and have an enjoyable time reading it through in one sitting.

I have a few observations from what I've read so far:

1: Fingolfin was one bad motherfucker. I mean, everyone is all on about how awesome Feanor was, but Fingolfin completely blew him out of the water. It's like...

Morgoth breaks the four hundred year siege of Angband, throwing the Noldor into disarray and generally ruining everyone's shit. While everyone is still collectively going "FUCK! RETREAT!" Fingolfin has another response

He goes fucking super saiyan, jumps on his horse, and rides toward Angband with such intensity that the armies of evil think he's a Valar and get the fuck out of his way. He gets to Angband and tells Morgoth to get his pansy bitch ass the fuck out there and fight him. Morgoth, formerly greatest of the Valar, the guy who reshapes continents when he fights and needs not fear destruction from any mortal, pisses in his pants. He has to go out and confront Fingolfin anyway, so he does, and Fingolfin proceeds to kick his sorry ass all over the battlefield until he is literally too tired from beating the shit out of Morgoth to dodge anymore. Morgoth tags him with a hammer that has been leaving big craters all over the place, and Fingolfin just gets back up and keeps fighting. That happens a few more times until Morgoth finally manages to get the better of him, and has his boot on Fingolfin's throat. Just as he delivers the final blow, Fingolfin stabs him in the leg, wounding him grievously for the eighth time in their fight, giving him a permanent limp.

Morgoth vows to defile his body, but the lord of friggin eagles saw everything and he's like "oh HELLZ no,' flies out of the sky, claws the shit out of Morgoth, picks up Fingolfin's corpse, and flies off to give him the resting place he deserves.

Keep in mind, Fingolfin never had to come back to Middle Earth. He could have stayed in the west and been perfectly safe from Morgoth forever. He only came for the sake of Feanor.


I have this image in my head of Fingolfin getting up for the second time from being hit by Morgoth and kinda drunkenly going "that all you got? THAT ALL YOU GOT!? I FART harder than that, you sissy!"

2. Turin son of Hurin's entire life story needs to be animated and set to Yakety Sax.

3. Sauron is scarier than Morgoth ever was.
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Last edited by BitVyper; 04-20-2010 at 12:17 AM.
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Unread 04-20-2010, 05:03 AM   #2
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You know, everyone has always told me that it's dry and boring and blah blah blah, but I'm about two thirds of the way through, and I'm just not finding that at all.
It's been quite long time since I read Silmarillion, but I think I'm right when I say that it should be noted that some people complain the same thing about Lord of the Rings.

But since you said you have read some other epics, so have you read any of those which Tolkien has admitted that influenced him? (Kalevala!) And have you seen some similar stories? Because if I remember correctly one story is really close to one story from Kalevala*, and I wouldn't be surprised if there was more of those.

*I don't remember anymore who was the character's name and talking what happens in that one would be kinda spoilerish, but I really don't remember how much it loaned from Kalevala and can be in fact quite orginal even though one can easily point where Tolkien got his influence.
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Unread 04-20-2010, 11:18 AM   #3
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I bought this ages ago, after reading the Hobbit and LotR. I got about... 4 pages in, then stopped. Yeah, found it hard going alright. But I've recently rewatched the films on blu-ray and kinda sorta' decided I might maybe give Sil another go.

Haven't started yet mind, gotta get in the right mood for it. But I will read it! Eventually! Someday... maybe.


I do already kind of know the story though, because I also have a Tolkien encyclepedia which basically tells the entire abridged history of everything, but I definately need to read Sil at some point properly. It seems fairly epic.
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Unread 04-20-2010, 06:00 PM   #4
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It's been quite long time since I read Silmarillion, but I think I'm right when I say that it should be noted that some people complain the same thing about Lord of the Rings.
I find Tolkein gets better the more middle-English literature you read. It helps you get an understanding of the depth of exactly what he did with Lord of the Rings.

Ironically though, I haven't actually read the main stuff that Tolkein's work is directly based off. I really mean to read Nibelungenlied one of these days (I saw the TV series! That sorta counts!). I still have to finish Journey to the West though - I'm about two thirds of the way through and stalled out, thinking I need a better translation because this one is unpleasant to read. In the Chinese vein, I want to pick up Water Margin, which Suikoden was based on, some time as well.
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Unread 04-20-2010, 07:03 PM   #5
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The first time I tried reading the Silmarillion, I quit a little way in. The second time (years later) I sort of "forced" myself past that point and ended up really, really enjoying it. It's a great book, well worth reading if you're a fan of LOTR or fantasy in general. You just have to get past the beginning, apparently.
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Unread 04-20-2010, 07:08 PM   #6
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I loved the singing of the Ainur. I love the way it's all played out in the story.
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Unread 04-20-2010, 07:32 PM   #7
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The singing being "magical" in whole Tolkien's works* is one of the things that is loaned from Kalevala. (One of the first things people will know about Kalevala is that V?in?m?inen sung another person to swamp!)

Though I would imagine that there's more epics and other fictional books before Tolkien that treated singing and music the same way as Kalevala and prolly many before Kalevala was published.

But I think it was Tolkien's own brain child that the world was created by singing. And now I think about it it's probably the most beautiful way to start the world. Melodical big bang..

*Think about all those moments in LOTR where they hear elves singing and how they feel what is sung even though they don't understand the words. Or how much songs there actually were. (And now I can only think how Vonnegut said that music is proof that God exists)
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Unread 04-20-2010, 07:52 PM   #8
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But I think it was Tolkien's own brain child that the world was created by singing. And now I think about it it's probably the most beautiful way to start the world. Melodical big bang..
Ever play Audiosurf? If you haven't, you should.
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Unread 04-20-2010, 10:21 PM   #9
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I loved this book. It was a little difficult to read at first but I really got into it.

Turin's story was one of the most compelling ones because of how depressing it was. It only got turned up with the Children of Hurin.
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Unread 04-21-2010, 12:02 AM   #10
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Turin's story is less depressing if you picture it with a canned audience (or Yakety Sax, as I suggested before) and prodigious use of the "wa wa waaaaaa" sound effect.
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