D&D Shenanigans

[TDK]

Originally Posted by BitVyper

Okay, no D&D this week again (gah), but here's an old WH40K story. The Legend of the Archer:

It all started when two of my friends were having a game of WH40K. Space Marines vs Tyranids. Space Marines were in trouble. I was bored, and I'd found a vanilla WH archer sitting around - just one of the ordinary guys. As the Tyranids were closing on a group of Marines, I suddenly stuck him on top of a hill and shouted "NOT WHILE I'M AROUND." So began his legend.

The archer has singlehandedly killed a Carnifex. Some orks believe that he is Gork.... or Mork. Some believe him to be a mortal avatar of the Emperor himself. No one really knows anything about him though. He appears on battlefields seemingly out of nowhere, does his work, and vanishes. You never know which side he'll help, just that you don't want to be on the other one. He can singlehandedly darken the sky with an endless supply of arrows. He can outfight orks in close combat; in fact he once garroted a warboss with one of his spare bowstrings. He doesn't have a ship of any kind - instead he fires an arrow which opens a small hole directly to the Warp and cuts a path directly to his destination. Daemons know well enough to leave him alone, and when they see the blazing white glow of his arrow, they run home to their Daemon houses and shut the doors tight.

Ever wonder why Old One Eye only has one eye? Whatever you may have heard about a weakness to plasma weapons and such is a pile of horseshit. The Archer happened to its eye. No one knows why he let it live. Some speculate that he did it just to show the Hive Mind that he could kill anything it made, anytime he wanted.

I've never played Warhammer or 40k, but I've always wanted to.

But that's just fucking epic. XD

[Rejected Again]

Last night I killed an entire village of goblins with my Wizard. First I made them leave the village by setting it on fire, then I caused them chase me towards a cliff. Before this had started I used Hallucinatory Terrain to make it appear as if the cliff was 20 feet farther out than it really was. My DM stole my wands of Expeditious Retreat and Wind Walk.

[BitVyper]

Originally Posted by Rejected Again

Last night I killed an entire village of goblins with my Wizard. First I made them leave the village by setting it on fire, then I caused them chase me towards a cliff. Before this had started I used Hallucinatory Terrain to make it appear as if the cliff was 20 feet farther out than it really was. My DM no longer allows me to play illusionists with a wand of wind walk...

Ah, the Sparrowhawk ploy. That's okay - things like darkness and fog work just as well. I wouldn't disallow that kind of character anyway - that's how they're supposed to operate. Just means you're good at playing one. Their weakness is that they get in trouble when they aren't smarter than everyone else, or at least a couple steps ahead of the game.

Awesome work, anyway.

[EVILNess]

Hrmm, the world exploded in my campaign. This could be a setback.

[BitVyper]

Originally Posted by EVILNess

Hrmm, the world exploded in my campaign. This could be a setback.

Make Whole!

[krogothwolf]

Well, my dwarf cleric nearly died today. It was an entertaining fight. We wrere battling Vampires and a Lich. We had killed the Lich and most oft he Vampires, but we were sorely screwed. We lost one member to death and our sorcerer was knocked out. My cleric fell at -9. Soon to be dead. We had 1 member left alive and kicking, though barely. I rolled and stabalized on the first turn. The DM let me move about if I wanted to. Landing beside our sorcerer I did bestow on him a heal minor to stabalize him and bring him to 0. He lived and was able to cast spells! And thus did he rise from the grave and bring fire upon the Vampire, burning him to a crisp! It was great!

[Ryong]

I started playing 4th ed. today. Human Warden.

My team fought sahagins. A small one watched as we slew all others. We're expecting it to either come back at us later for revenge or grow up and rule the sahagins and tell its children about the day where a Minotaur Barbarian killed most of its family in less than a minute, with a human warden, a human psion and an eladrin wizard killed the rest.

For the record, the minotaur rolled nothing lower than 17 for the four turns the fight lasted ( one of the sahagins was a bit further away with a bow ).

[tacticslion]

Originally Posted by EVILNess

Hrmm, the world exploded in my campaign. This could be a setback.

Originally Posted by BitVyper

Make Whole!

No, no, no, no, no. You're both thinking too small. Really, this is the best thing that could happen - you no longer have to worry about inconveniencing everyone on the planet! EVILNess, simply follow my plan for world-rebuilding in twelve easy steps or less!do the infamous infinite black-pudding claw-split trick and create a new world's worth of mass out of yoursel(f/ves). Then (after linking all of your minds together - which you should have anyway - mass spam Polymorph Any Object on your now Over-Mind Gestalt Earth-god(like) State until you create a new planet out of you, that you are not only in tune with but actually are the incarnate form of. Just one of the many benifits is that you will quite literally get billions of listen, spot, knowledge, etc checks every time you make one! Further, you can clone/create one (or more) additional you's than Polymorph Any Object them until they become viable males and/or females of various races, ethnicities and kinds as you desire with which you, you, you, and/or you could repopulate said new world. Also, I highly recommend setting up an infinite contengency loop with Reincarnate on yourself linked with an appropriate spell of your choice to return you to your original race/form, if you care (you'll have billions upon billions of extra XP to use, it's yours, after all!). Go hog-wild! You are all of existance now. ... unless you have now ceased to exist too. In which case, good job, chump.

Originally Posted by krogothwolf

Clerics ever prove their awesome by being the best friend of everyone on the team.

NICE! Watch out for that lich, though. "He'll be back...!"

Originally Posted by Ryong

My team fought sahagins. A small one watched as we slew all others. We're expecting it to either come back at us later for revenge or grow up and rule the sahagins and tell its children about the day where a Minotaur Barbarian killed most of its family in less than a minute, with a human warden, a human psion and an eladrin wizard killed the rest.

Wait, wait, wait. You saw a poor, megere child Sahuagin alone after slaughtering its whole family before its eyes and you didn't capture it and turn it into a party member? What kind of wacky-bizarre hijink-filled game are you guys playing, anyway? GM's expect that kind of thing!*

Also: wardens are (to my knowledge) the toughest single player-class available (Paladins being impressive because they have more healing surges!). And that minotaur had nice rolls.

*No, and it is therefore awesome.

[BitVyper]

Yeah, you could rebuild the world in your own image, but we both know you'll just break it again. With my method you can break it as much as you want any time you want, and never be inconvenienced with tedious recreation. You can be back to ogling bar wenches within minutes.

[tacticslion]

Originally Posted by BitVyper

Yeah, you could rebuild the world in your own image, but we both know you'll just break it again. With my method you can break it as much as you want any time you want, and never be inconvenienced with tedious recreation. You can be back to ogling bar wenches within minutes.

But... my method involves overly complex and illogical holes in the 3.X system!