Michael Bay wants to take "Mutant" out of the Ninja Turtles.

[Flarecobra]

My mouth dropped at the news.

Originally Posted by Yahoo News Article

Michael Bay seems to be at it again: This time the creator of mega-blockbusters is planning to produce a new, live-action version of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." But, if he has his way, he may need to change the name to "Not So Mutant" Alien Turtles. Definitely less catchy.

The "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" director told a crowd recently at the Nickelodeon Upfront New York event that instead of the series fans have loved about a mutant strain of turtles from earth who are obsessed with pizza and turn into two-footed creatures thanks to some transmutant goo, Bay's reptiles will simply be an alien race.

As first called out on the blog StuffWeLike, Bay explained his vision for the 2013 remake: "When you see this movie, kids are going to believe, one day, that these turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie." Wha? And then, "The turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny, and completely loveable."

For those a little fuzzy on these "loveable" creatures: First, it was a cartoon. Then it became a live-action film franchise in the 1990s. The original story revolves around four mutant two-footed turtles who are trained by a rat on the art of being ninjas, and are named after Renaissance artists. The four fight crime from their home base in the sewers of New York City.

The comic book, then television show, and finally film franchise were popular in the late '80s and early '90s. It is, in short, the perfect vehicle to be mucked up by Bay. At least that's how fans reacted on Twitter and blogs.

Illuminati tweeted, "Michael Bay is re-making Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. If Michael Bay destroys this classic, he will surely be sacrificed for his mistakes."

A fan of the "TMNT" bemoaned, "'TMNT' fans, prepare to have Michael Bay destroy your childhood the same way he's already done with mine. Three words: They are aliens." The A.V. Club opined, "Bay's willingness to reshape Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bows to no canonical authority—not even that inherent in its title."

The blog /Film agreed, arguing, "If you're going to make a movie about mutant turtles, that's what they should be, right?" Bay will produce the movie. Jonathan Liebesman ("Wrath of the Titans") will direct.

Fans can be on the lookout for the new, probably explosion-filled, action-packed alien version of "TMNT" that is scheduled to open December 25, 2013.

Ok, Bay (if one asked some of my RL friends) didn't do a good job with Transformers... and now he's planning to do this?

Is he turning into the Uwe Boll of action-cartoon-to-movie adaptions?

[Ecks]

Boy am I glad M Night Shamalamadingdong already ruined The Last Airbender so Michael Bay couldn't get his mitts on it.

Wait... no. I am still sad. Oh well, it was nice thinking one thing from my childhood could remain unbastardized. Fuck Hollywood.

[Ryong]

I'd much rather see Avatar TLA with explosions than with race-changing and, y'know, M Night Shyamalain's plot.

I'm actually okay with this.

[Flarecobra]

Shall we get the torches and pitchforks?

[rpgdemon]

So, Micheal Bay is planning on making a TNT movie? This is shocking and surprising!

[Intern Nin]

Originally Posted by Ryong

I'd much rather see Avatar TLA with explosions than with race-changing and, y'know, M Night Shyamalain's plot.

I'm actually okay with this.

He'd probably make it so that the movie is centered around an American Caucasian male who was sent into the avatar world as part of a secret american military project. Aang would be changed into 25 foot tall mess of CGI, Katara would be vapid eye candy wearing cut-off jean shorts and always bending over to fix the saddle straps on Appa(who is part helicopter), Sokka would have a really stupid subplot involving him and Suki and computers that's dropped about half-way through the film, and Zuko'd just be that walking firey explosion that keeps shouting about honor.

Then there's some big reveal that this is the future of our planet or something idiotic like that and there's a big dumb battle with the Explosion Nation and the American army is brought in to aid the Earth Kingdom army and the Earth soldiers salute the army and Firelord Ozai (who now has the powers of Sparky Sparky Boom Man) faces off against the Aangimus Prime and the protagnist saves the day by telling Aang to throw Ozai into the path of Sozin's comet (ala Power Rangers the Movie). Film ends with the protag macking with Joo Dee on the hood of a jeep who's also Zuko's uncle Iroh.

[Ryong]

Originally Posted by Intern Nin

He'd probably make it so that the movie is centered around an American Caucasian male who was sent into the avatar world as part of a secret american military project. Aang would be changed into 25 foot tall mess of CGI, Katara would be vapid eye candy wearing cut-off jean shorts and always bending over to fix the saddle straps on Appa(who is part helicopter), Sokka would have a really stupid subplot involving him and Suki and computers that's dropped about half-way through the film, and Zuko'd just be that walking firey explosion that keeps shouting about honor.

Then there's some big reveal that this is the future of our planet or something idiotic like that and there's a big dumb battle with the Explosion Nation and the American army is brought in to aid the Earth Kingdom army and the Earth soldiers salute the army and Firelord Ozai (who now has the powers of Sparky Sparky Boom Man) faces off against the Aangimus Prime and the protagnist saves the day by telling Aang to throw Ozai into the path of Sozin's comet (ala Power Rangers the Movie). Film ends with the protag macking with Joo Dee on the hood of a jeep who's also Zuko's uncle Iroh.

Yeah, sure, that totally sounds exactly like Michael Bay's take on Avatar and I agree forever.

[Kyanbu The Legend]

Originally Posted by Flarecobra

Shall we get the torches and pitchforks?

Naw just bring the flaming swordchucks and shotguns.

[Fifthfiend]

Originally Posted by Intern Nin

He'd probably make it so that the movie is centered around an American Caucasian male who was sent into the avatar world as part of a secret american military project. Aang would be changed into 25 foot tall mess of CGI, Katara would be vapid eye candy wearing cut-off jean shorts and always bending over to fix the saddle straps on Appa(who is part helicopter), Sokka would have a really stupid subplot involving him and Suki and computers that's dropped about half-way through the film, and Zuko'd just be that walking firey explosion that keeps shouting about honor.

Then there's some big reveal that this is the future of our planet or something idiotic like that and there's a big dumb battle with the Explosion Nation and the American army is brought in to aid the Earth Kingdom army and the Earth soldiers salute the army and Firelord Ozai (who now has the powers of Sparky Sparky Boom Man) faces off against the Aangimus Prime and the protagnist saves the day by telling Aang to throw Ozai into the path of Sozin's comet (ala Power Rangers the Movie). Film ends with the protag macking with Joo Dee on the hood of a jeep who's also Zuko's uncle Iroh.

[POS Industries]

Originally Posted by Intern Nin

He'd probably make it so that the movie is centered around an American Caucasian male who was sent into the avatar world as part of a secret american military project. Aang would be changed into 25 foot tall mess of CGI, Katara would be vapid eye candy wearing cut-off jean shorts and always bending over to fix the saddle straps on Appa(who is part helicopter), Sokka would have a really stupid subplot involving him and Suki and computers that's dropped about half-way through the film, and Zuko'd just be that walking firey explosion that keeps shouting about honor.

Then there's some big reveal that this is the future of our planet or something idiotic like that and there's a big dumb battle with the Explosion Nation and the American army is brought in to aid the Earth Kingdom army and the Earth soldiers salute the army and Firelord Ozai (who now has the powers of Sparky Sparky Boom Man) faces off against the Aangimus Prime and the protagnist saves the day by telling Aang to throw Ozai into the path of Sozin's comet (ala Power Rangers the Movie). Film ends with the protag macking with Joo Dee on the hood of a jeep who's also Zuko's uncle Iroh.

Still more watchable than Shyamalan's take.