NPF Avatars: Sadness and Family Intervention

[POS Industries]

Pedro munched on his muffin. He'd always been more partial to donuts and bagels, but this was actually pretty good. The girl was a hell of a summoner. Granted, the tactical significance of summoning muffins could be called into question, but then again, so could the tactical significance of sitting in a room altogether waiting to die. But hey, free muffin!

"Arhra*," he asked, "are we sure we should be using Ecurt's portal to bring him and the hobo to us? Granted, the more the merrier, but I was looking forward to the idea of having an escape route."

Arhra nodded slowly as she ate her own muffin, "Meh. I'm sure someone's got something up their sleeves. Might even save Inbred, too. We NPFers are a notoriously clever bunch. And by 'clever', I mean 'explosion-happy'. That tends to work out well enough for us in the end."

Her optimism calmed his nerves a little, but no more than could be reasonably expected. He looked over at the Mashirosen, sitting there, all blue and glowy. POS started to think that it should come with a sign that reads "The Mashirosen Core: It will get you killed!" Taking the worst case scenario into account, he started contemplating the best ways to destroy it. Hell of a way to throw a kink into Raiden's plans, after all. He could always dig up Rei's scans of it later and reverse-engineer a suitable replacement.

I wonder what the market for a POShirosen would be...

*Pedro knows Arhra's name now because he asked her. This deleted scene and many others can be found in the "NPF Avatars Special Edition" DVD, out this May at wherever fine videos are sold!

[Inbred Chocobo]

"Rei? What the hell is that?" IC asked. Hanging upside down was nothing new, but being held by the ankle was a little annoying. "Tell me Raiden, you going to zap me now? Comon what would be the fun of that?" IC said with a smile on his face.

Suddenly, IC's free foot hung up on Raiden's arm. IC used it to yank himself up, bending his other leg into him so it wouldn't break. IC then did two things. First was with his left hand he pulled two tail feathers and threw them at Raiden, specifically at his glowing eyes, and they flew much like darts. The second thing was his right hand whipped the Wind Edge around and attempted to severe off Raiden's hand just below the wrist. If anything he hoped it would at least get Raiden to stop holding him.

[Fenris]

Fenris was having the oddest dream. A pikachu had exploded and through him out of a tunnel and he was in some weird plushie armor. He hit a tree, and got knocked out from the force. He was currently being dragged by some guy named Ecurt near a portal to see some girl named Arhra.

He blearily opened his eyes, and saw the pink armor.

"Aw, fuckstick..."

[Darth SS]

Wow...this tower is really big...

Darth was wandering around pretty aimlessly, until at long last he came across POS. Then he hugged him. All POS saw was a big man with bloodstains all over his clothes jump on him.

"THEREWASTHERAIDENANDTHESTABBINGANDTHEHURTANDHEWAS BAADANDSCARYYY!"

Darth inhaled.

"ANDI'MSOHAPPYYOU'REALIIIIIIIIIVE!"

[POS Industries]

POS needed a moment to adjust. At one point, he was sitting in his chair eating a muffin, and then a second later a large man covered in blood burst in and started hugging him and jabbering incoherantly. Let's see.... Yep, dropped my muffin. Damn.

"Hurk," Pedro gasped for breath, "Um, yeah.... didn't Rei give you any instructions when you came into the tower?"

"NOITWASBIGANDDARKANDEMPTYANDNOONETOLDMEWHERETOGOA NDWHOSREI?"

"Erg... Um, right. Ow." Security must've been down in the section of the tower he came out into. Oh, well. POS knew this plan wasn't exactly flawless from the beginning. At least the big man who was currently crushing him managed to find his way on his own.

"Please... I.... I miss breathing...."

[mauve]

Mauve walked into a larger room, thanks to the guidance of Happy Robo-Voice, and let out a noise that began as a sigh of relief but ended as a sound of confusion.

A bloodsoaked Darth was squeezing the life out of somebody. Mauve couldn't quite see who it was, since most of him was being forcibly introduced to Darth's chest at the moment. Ahra was watching a monitor and chewing on something. On the screen, IC was being held aloft by Raiden. But that's not what confused Mauve.

"What's with the muffin on the floor?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Have you people no respect for the holiness that is the chocolate muffin??"

[POS Industries]

POS heard Mauve's cry of muffin outrage. He tried to explain that it was an accident and that he was rather enjoying the treat, and that if he could get his hands on it before the 10-second rule was up, he had no problem with finishing it, but Darth's Bear Hug o' Doom had effectively squeezed all the air out of his lungs.

A second later, Rei's voice chimed in. "And two of our guests are finally here, Pe-chan!" she announced excitedly, "Sorry about the first one, by the way. He emerged in one of the powered down sections so I couldn't talk to him. I did make the proper compensations to allow for his entry without triggering that little sequence that you wanted me to do, and now he's here anyway and he's happy, and that makes me happy! Does it make you happy, Pe-chan?"

Pedro would have been more than delighted to answer had he not already blacked out.

[Darth SS]

Darth finally dropped POS.

"Muffin!"

He quickly scooped up the muffin, blew on it, then said, "30 second rule. Here you are buddy."

Darth stuck the muffin in POS' mouth, inadvertantly closing his airway.

"So, do we have a plan? At all?"

[POS Industries]

Suddenly, Pedro experienced a sensation that he thought was lost to him. Air began rushing into his lungs, suddenly reoxygenating his blood and delievering the much needed element to his brain. He could barely feel his limp body hitting the floor as he began fading back into consciousness.

And then there was a muffin in his mouth.

Over the sound of blood rushing through his head, POS could barely make out Darth asking, "So... ...o we... ...an. ... all?" All Pedro could think of was chocolate.

"Mmph."

[The Wizard Who Did It]

The Wizard stared back. He ran toward Charon, and healed him. His stance was rigged, and his eyes darted around the area. He took in his environment, and then looked at the puppet. A smile stretched across his face.

“Raiden, you have told me many things to do. One is, if you have no plan, regroup. Another is to scan your surroundings. Scan your opponent. If you see anything you can take advantage of, take advantage of it. If you have any idea of how to use your opponents weapons against him, do so. If you know of any advantages that he doesn’t have, use them.”

The Wizard took a deep breath, and then said with a relish.

“But first and foremost, don’t get into such a situation. Always have a plan. Always have a backup plan. Always know how you are going to win. Play the fight out in your head, and then win.”

The Wizard walked toward the now massive ball of pure energy. It was large, and was fiery. Heat radiated from it, and anybody with knowledge in the area could tell you that it looked like a miniature sun. Flames licked out form the sphere of energy, and the Wizard stared at it for a while in thought. He then snapped his fingers, and Charon jumped at him. He grabbed Charon with one arm, then turned his head toward the Puppet.

“Now, Raiden, I am not usually good at singing. In fact, I am usually abysmal at it. However, I feel a song that may or may not be appropriate coming along.”

The Wizard coughed. He walked toward the outer wall of the room. He coughed again. He then started to sing. The most amazing part, is it wasn’t that bad…

“Now here’s a song with Style and Class, it’s called…”

The Wizard smashed his hand against the wall. Due to the unbearable strain it had gone through, it collapsed into dust, which swirled around the Wizard.

“Watch As I Kick Raiden’s Ass.
Pay attention, some parts get fast.”

The Wizard jumped out of the hole and landed on the wall above the wreckage. He stretched out has hand, fingers stretched out.

“Now watch out for my nuclear-powered sun-exploding blast.”

The Wizard closed his hand violently. The sun burned a bright white. It then exploded with the force of many a nuclear bomb. The attack was concentrated to the room. After a bright flash, the room was gone. Everything. There no dust coming from the ruins, because there were no ruins. There was also no dust, but the ruins are what matters. The puppet, if he didn’t die instantly, was almost certainly dead now.

Thank you, Charon.