Return of Let's Play FF6: The Bride of Let's Play FF6

[Kerensky287]

This post will henceforth be a table of contents post!

-Pages 1-4.
-Page 5.
-Page 6 (part 1).
-Page 6 (part 2).
-Page 7.
-Page 8.
-Page 9.
-Page 10.
-Page 11.
-Page 12.
-Page 13.
-Page 14 (part 1).
-Page 14 (part 2).
-Page 15 (part 1).
-Page 15 (part 2).
-Page 16.
-Page 17.
-Page 18.
-Page 19.

Characters we've met so far:
-Bitch. This is also the world map theme. Here's a remix, too, that is DEFINITELY worth a listen.
-Cocke. My personal favourite theme.
-Eunuch and AHNULD, heirs to a kingdom in a castle that can DIG UNDERGROUND.
-Silly, a mysterious ninja who's also a bit of a dick.
-Thou, a crazy swordsman who lost his whole family when they were poisoned by the empire. Funny story. You had to be there.
-You, the most ANNOYING little fucker in the history of games.
-Store, a former imperial general and one of the most important characters in the game. Helluva lot more important than You, at least.
-Hefner, a poor former... ahem... businessman who lost his... ahem... talent to the Empire. The proto-Balthier.
-<Mog> (unnamed), a moogle who can talk. Umm, also he's a pretty good dancer. His name may end up being Viral, so that's something.
-Kefka, an evil clown who I'm sure will have no plot relevance.


Extra links:
-A LIL BONUS 4 YOO <3
-EDIT: Yes, Big Mac made one too.

[Regulus Tera]

Originally Posted by Kerensky287

-A LIL BONUS 4 YOO <3

I HATE YOU KERENSKY. Ò_Ó

[Harpell]

I'd thought that after the SSBB one, I was free.






But I was wrong.

[Kerensky287]

Gonna leave that bonus up there for a while, see if you guys get a kick out of it.

And now for the long-awaited (in my mind ) CHAPTER 5!

Last time around, King Eunuch's college buddy Kefka showed up looking for a girl of absolutely no importance, but who just happened to be hiding away. So the girl (Bitch) was shown to her sleeping quarters by the famed treasure hunter Cocke. And then it faded to black with no real resolution.

NOW FOR THE THRILLING CONCLUSION TO A MINOR STORY ARC!

Oh wait, a retcon first.



Eunuch's brother's name is AHNULD.

Later that day.



Eunuch wakes up with a start.




"Morning wood? I should not get.... wait, why is it so hot in here?"


Notice the guard standing calmly at attention in front of the burning tower. Nothing phases him.




...He has a drinking problem. Never recovered from college. Must've tripped and knocked over a barbeque or something...


"You went through rehab! You're better than this!"


"I've got my beer goggles on and I'm not wasting these good looks!"


"Being drunk has NO EFFECT ON YOUR OUTER BEAUTY"


Kefka you fucking broke the barbeque. Nobody can enjoy it anymore.


...Yes, Eunuch has decided that he'd much rather be inside the burning building than talking to this nut.




"Suicide is the only option that makes sense anymore."


"AHAHA SURPRISE"


"Dude! Freakin' do that again! That was SUPER BADASS!"


Cocke and Bitch try to repeat the trick, but Bitch overshoots a bit.

Oh well, she's got magic powers. She's fine.




Now, to fix the building...


DEUS EX MACHINA!








Could've sworn there was a building here a second ago. I'm sure it was nothing.

Hey! It's Biggs and Wedge! Hello!


Upset at being left out of the plot, the daring duo go after the party.


They've grown.


Eunuch can use "tools" such as this Auto-Crossbow, by the way. It's his special thing that he can do.

Anyway, as we've learned in the past, Biggs and Wedge are weak against magic.





And you know what else they're weak against?


In-battle cutscenes.








"I mean, DAAAAYUM."


...So.. the excuse for the cutscene was that Eunuch hasn't seen magic before.

Nice excuse to use Biggs/Wedge's weakness against them. Look! They're frozen in place!


...Okay, now Cocke has DEFINITELY seen Bitch's magic before. All that healing before this part...

Wait. We know about Bitch's... other talents. Did she use those to cure instead?




Gossip is bad.




Damn right you should! That was very rude of you!


...Nobody knows what they're supposed to apologize for in this game.




Cocke takes back his useless apology, which doesn't make things any better.


Bitch: "Okay, that's a bit better. I'll do what I can."


And so she extends the cutscene indefinitely, allowing for an easy win over the minor characters.


DITCH'D


Ahahaha! That silly Kefka.


Oh, right. Bitch doesn't remember Biggs and Wedge because she was on slave crown at the time. Which is why she just slaughtered them without mercy.






Their leader wants a sampling of her talents.




"I mean.... DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYUM!"


And he leaves the apology open, realizing that he sucks at apologizing for the right thing. "Sorry, I forgot to tie my shoe. I don't mean to be rude by interrupting the conversation."




Because of course, Emperor Gestahl will upload the video to the internet, and no one will sleep soundly again.




Because practice is the best way to understand something.






And so they do.




"This cave only leads to one place. I'll give you three guesses."


The guard doesn't guess it.


Eunuch cannot abide by incompetence.




These are our stats after leaving the cave on the other side because nothing interesting happens in there.

Arriving in South Figaro.


Who's that shadowy figure? Wait... is that...


It can't be...?


IT'S MATT DAMON!

Sounds like a good place to end for now.

By the way, that ninja guy who appeared for a screen there? He sure strikes me as the kind of guy who would slit his mother's throat for a nickel.




I wanna call him Clyde Arrowny for some reason but it's up to y'all.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Leave it as Clyde or else I will cut you.

[Fenris]

Originally Posted by Kerensky287

I wanna call him Clyde Arrowny for some reason but it's up to y'all.

WTF SPOILERZ

But no seriously I was gonna suggest you name him Clyde but I decided against it as some people don't know that particular spoiler. But you know what? Fuck 'em.

Name him Clyde or Slippy.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Originally Posted by FenrisWolf

WTF SPOILERZ

But no seriously I was gonna suggest you name him Clyde but I decided against it as some people don't know that particular spoiler. But you know what? Fuck 'em.

Name him Clyde or Slippy.

Slippy sucks.

/edit: Also Kerensky, this one is way better.

[TDK]

If you're going for an awful joke, you could always name him...Well, the n word. 'Cause he wears all black. Or "negro" or something.

Eh, I'm dry on ideas. Tired.

The let's play stuff is funny, though. Good jokes and such.

[Irigriel]

I vote you name him Clyde, even though I don't get the reference.

Also, this Let's Play is AWESOME. I wonder if I could make one... What would I need for one?

[Major Blood]

Name him Stereotype.

Because really.