D&D Shenanigans

[tacticslion]

Originally Posted by people

I'm like to torment NPCs in-character

Sheesh. At least mine isn't in-character evil, but rather the result of enemy actions. Usually its the "my" characters (when the GM is called upon to round out a party for some reason) that recieve the heaviest tolls. The NPC populous only takes tolls when broad sweeps or specific instances occur. It's not like I send them into death traps just to take them from the "good guys".

[krogothwolf]

Originally Posted by tacticslion

Sheesh. At least mine isn't in-character evil, but rather the result of enemy actions. Usually its the "my" characters (when the GM is called upon to round out a party for some reason) that recieve the heaviest tolls. The NPC populous only takes tolls when broad sweeps or specific instances occur. It's not like I send them into death traps just to take them from the "good guys".

Hm....I always though NPC's were the PC's whipping boys once you got powerful enough. The best NPC death is the one that got killed by a bear we had to hunt down at level 1 when we used him as bait for the trap, sure we told him we'd save him before the bear could kill him, but that was before we all failed our spot and listen checks while hiding to ambush for said bear. We did hear his screams after bear bit him though!

[Melfice]

Originally Posted by Corel

Has the swearing to god I'll be pistol whipping the next person who says shenanigans quoting been done yet? Or have I not read close enough?

I wanted to, but I figured both:
1) Everybody took it for granted this joke was make in the privacy of their mind.
2) This would have been my only contribution to the whole thread.

Which makes this post exactly that which I wanted to avoid, but... well.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Originally Posted by tacticslion

Sheesh. At least mine isn't in-character evil, but rather the result of enemy actions. Usually its the "my" characters (when the GM is called upon to round out a party for some reason) that recieve the heaviest tolls. The NPC populous only takes tolls when broad sweeps or specific instances occur. It's not like I send them into death traps just to take them from the "good guys".

I kid- most of my time when playing character is trying to stop my other players doing shit like this.
As DM I used to spring NPC adventuring parties on my players- as in they'd come across them also exploring the dungeon and players are so jumpy in dungeons they'll just murder anything in site, even if its the local towns protection

[tacticslion]

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants

I kid- most of my time when playing character is trying to stop my other players doing shit like this.
As DM I used to spring NPC adventuring parties on my players- as in they'd come across them also exploring the dungeon and players are so jumpy in dungeons they'll just murder anything in site, even if its the local towns protection

See, this wouldn't happen with most of the people I play with (except for, like, two guys - one who was jumpy, the other who hated people). Generally if I tried to get them to do something, my groups (I've had a couple in the different places I've lived in) would inevitably talk to them. Even if the other group was too jumpy, they'd talk and calm them down. Except, of course, for that one time I actually expected them to do that, lovingly crafted some characters I expected them to meet and have a semi-professional relationship with, and they proceeded to flub their diplomacy rolls, aided by the spiteful guy flipping out and killing one of them. That led to all of their deaths. So much for that lycanthropic (were-tiger) Yaun-Ti 6th level Rogue with the leadership feat and his posse of individually crafted adventure-followers (including a Zombie Wyvern). It turned out sort of ok, however, when it directly led to one of my players who'd died, been reincarnated as an elf, and carrying around his old body (gently reposed) using the Wyvern and Yaun-Ti parts with his own body to create a flesh golem that could fly. His character's name was Cervan, and he named his Flesh Golem "Little Cervan Jr." Whenever it went berzerk, he (following the rules) would speak to it in a firm, yet soothing voice, calming it back down. "Now, little Cervan, you stop that right now... yes, calm down... no... no... I said no... that's right, now put him down..." etc. Fun times.

[krogothwolf]

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants

I kid- most of my time when playing character is trying to stop my other players doing shit like this.
As DM I used to spring NPC adventuring parties on my players- as in they'd come across them also exploring the dungeon and players are so jumpy in dungeons they'll just murder anything in site, even if its the local towns protection

It's not murder if the other person has a weapon, it's self Defense,

We learned to be less jumpy after killing the King's Champion and Son in a dungeon they were investigating as well as us. That taught us a lesson of not killing everything that moves. Stupid Kid died in 1 hit though, shouldn't have been in the dungeon. Granted it was x3 critical for 70 damage, but still!

[Terex4]

I got new dice, the old ones decided to "show them the ropes".

I even got a dice set for my wife when she decided to try it out, her dice hate me too. Needless to say when I visit Nevada I don't play craps.

[tacticslion]

Originally Posted by Corel

Reading this thread makes me sad that I'm unable to currently play the Dungeons and Dragons.

I hope you're all happy.

Why, yes, yes I am! I'm so happy! I'm just soooooo... oh, you mean that you hope I'm happy that you're sad? No... just sad now.

Ooh, ooh, I got an idea to hold you over! This! (Disclaimer: if no one ever treats you "normally" again, because they caught you listening to it, it's not my fault!)

Originally Posted by krogothwolf

It's not murder if the other person has a weapon, it's self Defense,

Eh... I don't think that one's gonna hold up, there, buddy.

Originally Posted by krogothwolf

We learned to be less jumpy after killing the King's Champion and Son in a dungeon they were investigating as well as us. That taught us a lesson of not killing everything that moves. Stupid Kid died in 1 hit though, shouldn't have been in the dungeon. Granted it was x3 critical for 70 damage, but still!

70... damage... wow.

Originally Posted by Terex4

I got new dice, the old ones decided to "show them the ropes".

I even got a dice set for my wife when she decided to try it out, her dice hate me too. Needless to say when I visit Nevada I don't play craps.

That... that's probably for the best.

Also, your story (the cow-sex-mockery-thing) reminds me of this Outlier player I had in my party once. He played (initially) a 120 year old human sorcerer who was rhuematic and had bad eyesight... and was completely senile (He liked exactly one person in the party - the swashbuckler - who was, ironically, the only person who didn't have spell resistance when he kept trying and failing to fireball the rest of the party. He would then try to make up to her for it by prestidigitating flowers and chocolate, which, of course would vanish with an hour, if she tried to eat any, or if she moved any of them slightly faster than really, really slowly... but I digress). He also had a familiar: a yak (she gave him no familiar benefits). At some point late in the game, he used a series of polymorph any object spells to permanently tranform his (now highly intelligent) yak into a human female (and yes, the jokes were flying)... whom he played out as dancing madly through the forest (naked) in order to distract some angry elves long enough for the party to sneak through the area. It ended with the woman falling to her knees from exhaustion, raising her fists triumphantly in the air, and shouting proudly (before she collapsed) "I AM A COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!" The most amusing part was him playing the last part out in the middle of the Barnes and Noble cafe we were gameing in at the time, and the stares he recieved from the other patrons.

[Rejected Again]

So, Saturday at my tabletop session we were playing my epic level campaign(as in I was the DM) and I toss a leveled up adamantine at the party. The new player( first time ever playing DnD) casts Metal to wood. I congratulate her on a smart move, since that removed a good chunk of DR. On her next turn she proceeded to cast Creeping Doom, activating a feat she had ( I forgot the name) she changed it into a swarm of fucking termites. The bitch.

Edit: To those who can't play offline, try http://www.dndonlinegames.com/ Its a forum for DnD games. Good times and good people. You get some total morons, but for the most part, its a good community of gamers.

[Specterbane]

Heh, I do have a fun story actually.

My first time DMing an adventure I have the party get ship wrecked at the end of the first night and have to find their way out of a ship grave yard infested with lizardmen (we'd just finished an undead adventure, that's why it wasn't full of Sodden Ghouls). As the party gets to the end it was getting late and they decide to take an extended rest before the last two fights, a normal encounter and a boss back to back.

So at the start of the next meet I go ahead and put together a quick little encounter for them to get a little worn down on. During this encounter the wizard uses a fire attack and sets one of the lizardmen on fire in the first round. This lizardman NEVER SAVES, so he was effectively ablaze until his death. After rooting through the lizardmen to try and find somethings of value they eventually open the door the beach where the next two encounters will take place.

Seeing the cooking fire's going the party decides to scout ahead with a spy glass they have and sees a reasonably sized group of lizardmen all around. Now I was thinking that the party would have either stealth or brute force to use at this problem, instead they used guile. They chopped off the head of the burning lizardman and had the wizard mage hand it over to group huddled around the cooking fire. With the dragonborn telling him what to say in draconic, the wizard speaks a haunting warning of the hell that is to come their way. So, laughing my ass off the whole while, I have the party make a few roles and check the highest fortitude stat of the encounter group. The party had rolled well enough to scare the piss out of the pre-boss encounter to have them running scared to their dragon, whom the party promptly beat up and left the grave-yard to find their way to the port they were going towards. It was a pretty fun night actually.