Let's Play: Vampire: Bloodlines

[Krylo]

Oh yeah, I had almost forgotten how insanely powerful Helen has become now.

Wonder how that will play out.

[synkr0nized]

Originally Posted by DFM

IT IS NOT DEAD I HAVE JUST BEEN BUSY.

I'LL UPDATE TOMORROW AND HOPEFULLY MORE REGULARLY AFTER THAT.

Edit: tzimisce there is like all the game left!

Well, I suppose I may be editing my sticky some more in the next few days.

[Great Cartoonist]

It still remains to be seen whether or not an update will come as promised.

Regardless, I want to see an end to this adventure. An AWESOME end.

[Odjn]

This update is coming I have read it and it was v. good.

[DFM]

Mirai and I were referring to this re-run, we've got a long way to go before we get where we were and can start the LP proper again.






HELEN'S LOG



STARDATE:FUCKOFFLACROIX

LaCroix wants me to go digging through a haunted mansion to find the king of the ghosts or some shit I don't know. It's like as soon as I do something somebody is there to tell me I've got to do another thing and I don't much care for not being able to just throw money at problems until they go away. Or guns. Or some combination thereof.

Anyway I guess this guy, Grout, is like king of my bloodline and he's all shut up in his murder castle and won't talk to anyone and LaCroix's all sad because he missed teatime so I'm here to make sure he's not staked through the heart and tied to his bed with some laughing maniac pouring gasoline all over the place.



Welcome to crazy shitville, home of odd angles, contrasting colors, murdering lunatics and doors made out of furniture set in places you can't reach that go to rooms that don't exist.



Kind of homey, though.



There's a lobotomized psychopath on the far wall pulling on a light and giggling. There's dozens of these guys all around the manor. They seem pretty unaware of what's going on, mostly playing with baubles or pacing in circles or curled up in little fetal balls crying and laughing. The voices say they're kine, exposed to the madness of Clan Malkavian until it broke their minds. I didn't really expect to find victims here, but I hope nothing bad happens to any of them.





















I lied when I said that.



This guy's place is crazy schitzo, but I like it. I mean, I don't like this place, but I like what he was doing. When I get money again I'm going to build a crazy mansion with bathrooms coming out of walls and windows in the floor and sideways elevators that just shoot you out of the manor and down a hill into the river. It'll be a place that only I understand completely, that nobody but me will feel at home in.



I don't think I'm going to have medical experiments, though. I might cover it in guns, I think that'd be a pretty good tribute to the Merchant of Menace.



As I move through the manor, I notice that this place isn't nearly as off-kilter as it originally seemed. There's an underlying... sense, to the way everything is laid out and arranged. There's a kind of ebb and flow to the design that funnels you from one place to another. Normally, it's where the house wants you to go, but if you can get a handle on what's happening you can turn it to your advantage, and have the shifting dimensions and locking doors funnel you to where you want to go.



You can feel the house around you, and moving through it comes as naturally as, say, driving a car. There are still speedbumps, but they're relatively harmless and they'll kill themselves in amusing ways if you ask them to very nicely.

The voices seem happy I've taken so well to driving the house, and that I might have been able to take it over if it weren't burning down.



I ask them for some clarification on that, because it seems important, but they don't answer.

I get the feeling I ought to find the King of Krazies and tell him to call his friend LaCroix, and I ought to do it with relative expediency. I step around the giant snowglobe, a faint, scratching orchestra playing off a beat up record somewhere in the corner. I push the door open and step into Grout's bedroom.



Oh my God.



"Are you okay?"

There's an explosion from somewhere lower in the mansion. I grab Grout's arm and tell him we need to move. I run out of the opposite door and stop on a balcony overlooking the inferno that used to be the main hall. Grout is extremely light.



"Grout! Emerge, demon, and face the flames of your judgment!"

I glance back towards the empty space that should contain Grout, and notice that his forearm ends shortly after my hand. I'm momentarily confused, wondering just how much of Grout LaCroix wanted to talk to. Should I go back and bring the rest? Do I need a bag?

"DO YOU HAVE A BAG?" I shout at the man standing across the room.



"Vat? Vat is this trickery! Vere is Grout! VERE IS LACROIX!"

I decide not to mention how terrible his try at a Canadian accent is.

"LISTEN, I NEED A BAG. KIND OF FAST." I shout, pointing down at the roaring inferno below us. "THIS PLACE IS ON FIRE."

"MONGREL OF SATAN, YOU WILL TELL ME HOW TO FIND THE ARCH FIEND LACROIX!"

"HE'S IN THE BIG BUILDING THAT SAYS 'I'M LACROIX, THIS IS MY BUILDING, I LIVE IN IT' IT'S LITERALLY THE LARGEST BUILDING IN L.A. BY LIKE, TWO TIMES. NOW CAN I HAVE A BAG?"



"I do not have time for zese games, demon. Fire of absolution take you."



He runs off, disappearing behind a collapsing column. I glance behind me, sheets of fire creeping around Grout's bed. I frown, staring at the skeletal hand and shaking it a little. I guess it'll have to do.



There's a drooly on fire below me, so I shout at him to kill himself quick before he burns to death.

It didn't really make sense to me either, but he seemed to like the idea. I jump down and run through the only door that's not on fire, and am immediately attacked by things that are.



He lunges at me, either unaware he's on fire or of the belief that punching vampires comes just before the 'Stop' part of fire safety. One of the side effects of vampirism I've noticed recently is being able to hit large, intimidating things with your fists and suddenly find that you are now the large, intimidating thing everyone is running away from.

I grab him by the shoulder and slam my fist into his face exactly twice, because after the second blow there isn't really any face left to hit. I am ridiculously awesome.



I'm also stupid and on fire.

Another side effect of vampirism I've noticed recently, just now, is that fire hurts. Not like when you're mortal. Imagine setting yourself on fire. Now imagine setting yourself on fire while werewolves with white hot claws flay the skin from your bones in a salt pit. That's what being on fire is like for a vampire.



That's why I'm not very happy right now.



After I stop, drop, roll and scream for a few minutes on the frying pan like floor, I decide I'm not going to touch the flaming people anymore.

That's not a thing against gays either, I don't care that they're gross. I mean that they're different. Differently abled.






I have gay friends.



The burning men aren't nearly as good at setting me on fire when they're hit with a shotgun from thirty feet away.



In fact, they're terrible at it. Every part of it. They're bad at attacking me, they're bad at avoiding me, they're bad at not dying...



I mean they're on fire, but still.



I move through the mansion as quickly as I can, dodging crashing ceilings and burning hallways. It's easier than I thought it would be, driving a house that's on fire. It seems to want to get me out as badly as I want to be out.





I don't even remember jumping.



Well, this was a disaster all-round. I lower the shotgun, glancing at Grout's bony arm still clutched in my hand. Maybe I can pin all the blame on him. He killed himself and set his house on fire. Before I got there. Yeah, and I fought off a bunch of crazy fire people to retrieve his body at great personal risk and I should get a raise. And a puppy.



LaCroix'll buy that.







LaCroix didn't buy that and now I'm in trouble.

[Mirai Gen]

"DO YOU HAVE A BAG?"

[Sir Pinkleton]

Hahahaha, that was spectacular. How far away are you from where we left off? I kind of forgot when events happened.

[shiridan]

What happened to this?

[Jagos]

shiridan, you gain my ire. But you ask a very valid question...

[DFM]

WELL I got back to where I left off, made a new thread for the proper continuation of the story (It's around somewhere still I imagine), got to Helen loading up the Ankarin Sarcophagus into a truck for the next update and then went through two hard drives, four reformats, an OS upgrade and I don't even know so I'd have to play the entire game over again to get back there and yeah I'm afraid Bloodlines is a dead LP now except for two exceptions because I'm not doing that a third time.

What I can do is write up an epilogue or abridged continuation of sorts so there's some closure to the story if there's enough interest.

If there's even more interest than that and you or someone you know wants to draw vampires I could do an abridged finishing of the game in comic form. I'm just kind of adding that one in there because it'd be awesome.

Edit: This this was the new thread.