07-21-2010, 03:32 PM | #101 |
BEARD IMPACT
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It LIIIIIIIIIIIVES!
Huh? Oh, we're back? Whelp, best get a move on! First of all, Mary, head to Nashkel and hit up the general store, we're gonna need supplies.
Huh? Wha? Oh, you're back. It felt like I was in Limbo or something... Kinda-sorta, but I didn't forget. The moment I could, I came back. Now, store. What? Oh no! My sash! Sweet, 500 gold! Yeah I don't know why he wants the pelts either, but he does pay handsomely considering the effort it takes to slay a winter wolf is negligible. Aaaaand there she goes again. What is she up to this time? She said something about 'side-quest sense tingling' and just ran off. It actually is possible to lose this quest if you don't answer JUST SO. Which will annoy you to no end because the ring is easily found, and if you didn't do it right, you can't turn it in. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, welcome to the circus! There's not a lot to do here, but we'll do/avoid it nonetheless. First up we have a poet. That's...actually foreshadowing. For later. Much later. This promises to be interesting. Meet the ogre. It does, in fact, explode. Almost always, it appears in a flash of green... And then blows up for you. But if you push the ogre too far... Oh dear oh dear. Be a good sport and put him out of his misery will you? Indeed. You can't tell it from these stills, but this guy actually glows all the colors of the rainbow. He's just Faaaaaaaaaaaabulous! Anyways, after we deal with that queer fellow, we head into a small tent. Maybe we can get our fortune told! I foresee much death in your future, mage-man. Oooh. I don't suppose...? Go ahead, I've already got a set. Why thank you! Huh. Simple feud. Good thing you hopefully put an end to the bloodshed. Yes, well, something tells me it won't stay that way. Yeah, you're done here. Head back to the area south of the town. There be loot to grab there yet. Why wouldn't I help him? Uh, you sure abo- I'm telling you you're going to regr- Nonsense, only good can come of this! Let's have a look at that toy... This is not what I was expecting. I told you. Well go wander around looking for his pet. Just be careful you don't run into... ...Her. This battle. This fucking battle. With our newbie party it was causing me so much hate. She doesn't go down easy and she has two archer buddies. Really in order to beat her you need SmartThinking V2.0 (tm). Lure her in, lure her AWAY, kill her, HEAL, and then go for her buddies. Why are you fighting her, you may ask? For one... ...Sweet new armor for Imoen is a part of the loot. That looks valuable. And protective. And like it's mine. Hey, I think I heard something over here. Go take a look. On it. ...It's a wolf. A wolf that won't attack you. I WANT TO KILL IT SO BAD. No! Bad PC! Put that staff down! Oh sure another one. Just what I wanted. SO THAT I CAN NEVER FORGET THIS. GEE, THANKS. Actually he doesn't give you one. I assume your character tosses it right after they get it. Mary? Mary? ... Uh oh. I think she's broken. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! No, wait, not that way! That's to the... ...Mines... Welcome to the mines! We may be here a while, or for an ungodly amount of time. It's up to you! First thing's first, there appears to be a...face in those hills to the south. Go check that out, Mary. Huh. A sculptor, I assume. Whelp ask him what he's carving. Ah, so it's not done yet. Of course we'll keep him safe. But Greywolf, that name sounds familiar... WOLF!? KILL THE WOLF! KILLKILLKILL! Right conclusion, but all the wrong reasons. And after this he just dies. I guess he overclocked his heart just a little too much. But hey, what was his is now ours! And what was the 'wolf's' is now ours as well. Khalid is the master of the elements. Or at least ice and lightning. Anyway we tool around a bit... ...This guy pops up, followed by a pack of kobolds, followed by a hearty helping of Death all around to everyone but us. Now remember, you must not eat any serving of Death yourself, merely serve it to your foes! Say hello and goodbye to Captain Obvious. Anyway before we go any further I decide to check if there's any loot just lying around and sure enough... This withered old tree in the upper-left... Has something for us! What exactly? Only a cool wand. Anyway now we're going to head back to Nashkel with the emeralds from the sculptor that we looted from his corpse. Mainly so we can reassure the bounty hunter/civil servant that the sculptor has been dealt with. Sort of. I can't help but feel there was a more profitable way to do this. It would also be a more evil way. Moving on then! And here's the owner of the Nashkel mines. Note, if you're too ugly, he'll actually say 'Ye've got one day. Then I'll start diggin' a ditch for ye.' I don't know if he does or not, but I don't want to test his patience. Anyway, this is level 1. It's, eh, mostly safe. Talking to the miners... ...reveals nothing... ...we couldn't have or didn't... ...already guess. This guy just confirms it really. Hey if anyone knows where the webpage is that details the most evil and satanic kobolds in a D&D game ever, I would be very appreciative. I might even do something for you! Considering these are kobolds, that dagger might as well be a sword. Okay I lie, it would have to be enchanted for that. Welcome to level two. There are more monsters but it's still somewhat safe. We're going to that large chamber on the west side first. But first another serving of Death all around. Sadly. I don't think you can ever save this guy. Anyway yeah that was the shortest sub-quest in this game. Get used to it, cause the rest are loooooong. Hey you might wanna get out of here while the tunnel's still clear. Just saying. The kobolds down here have a new item for us. One that only appears down here, and really serves no purpose beyond a giant Plotbat upside the head. I actually find it utterly hilarious that you can order your characters to drink this stuff, but I never did. Welcome to level three of the mines. Also known as level one party hell. Especially if your party thief also holds that level. All along that main path? Traps. Traps everywhere. If you've gotten a few levels since the start of the game, then you've got a shot of spotting and disarming the traps before they hit. First things first, grab this. It's right there, you really can't miss it. Afterwards we head down the path... And run right into a spider cave. At our level these are still dangerous because SOMEONE doesn't know slow/cure poison. I have a new despised enemy, and it has more limbs than I do. Hey, remember how I told you all that we would die a fiery death if we didn't level up before we came here? This is it personified. Why? THIS. THIS IS WHY. THEY NEVER RUN OUT AND ONLY LEAVE TWO WHEN THEY DIE IT ANNOYS ME SO GODDAMN MUCH ARRRRRRRRRGH! And he says I have problems. Deep cleansing breath... Anyway yeah. Level one thieves could never disarm this, but appears Imoen is competent enough to let us proceed. What a shocker. Welcome to level four. Gee I wonder what's going to happen here? After we clear up some pests on the outside, we proceed within the giant rock... This guy. Yup. He's responsible for all that hell we just went through. Yup. He doesn't look smart enough to bang two stones together! You're remarkably perceptive. Go beat him to within an inch of his life. With gusto! Is it my fault he's a traitorous bastard half-orc? I tried to let him live and he swarms us with more of his minions. Might I kill him now? Since when did you need MY permission to kill morons and fools that think they can oppose you? Although I'm pretty sure Cyric won't be too pleased we're killing off all his priests... He can bite me. Half-orc had it coming. Wait, so that's a ring of Making Jaheira Useful? Looks like. If I may? Sure thing. Kahlid is becoming an elemental monster. And with this... Chapter two of the plot is done and dusted... An elf is freed and a choice is put to the people. We can crawl our way back out of the mines and revel in all the glory the owner is sure to shower us in, or we can walk out the secret back way. Which way is less painful? Neither. Which is why no matter what they choose, I shall hate them. You should stop that you know.
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ANGER HAS NEVER BEEN MORE MANLY THAN THIS.
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07-21-2010, 07:58 PM | #102 |
C.M.B.A.S.O.B
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Go the back way! Healthy servings of Death to all but us!
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NPF's resident Crazy Magnificent Bastard Ass Son Of A Bitch (CMBASOB) Accept No Substitutes Also known as "The Least Interesting Man in The World" according to multiple surveys
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07-21-2010, 08:35 PM | #103 |
Burn.
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Stay there and form your own cult.
Or go back the way ya came. And I'm surprised Mary or one of the other girls didn't make a comment when the one NPC said "We need more fighting men" to a party that is 2/3 female.
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"Only the fool wishes to go into battle to beat someone for the satisfaction of beating someone." -A Thousand Sons Rules. Read them, know them, love them. |
07-21-2010, 09:54 PM | #104 |
Lakitu
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Northwest Arkansas
Posts: 2,139
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Take the secret path out of the caves, no idea what's down there but it should be fun for us no matter what.
And I'm rather disappointed Lord Binky the Buffoon didn't shriek "HEY KIDS!" at your party.
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Slightly off-kilter |
07-21-2010, 09:55 PM | #105 | |
Herald
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 148
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Quote:
Always go the secret route. Always
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Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. Calvin Coolidge |
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07-21-2010, 10:27 PM | #106 |
WE WILL HAVE WUUUUUUUUUUUUURDS
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 777
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while the FORUMS WERE DOWN I borrowed this from a friend and plowed thorough it in a week, although apparently I still missed a lot I say secret way, because if you REALLY wanted to you could take the long way back to the dungeon just to hate yourself a little more.
Are you planning on continuing to BG2? please say yes!
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. fuck Blue Magic and fuck you. Fabulous
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07-21-2010, 10:31 PM | #107 |
BEARD IMPACT
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A week?
Man you're slow. I could do it in five days. Hell I DID it in five days on an alt file grabbing everything I could. And I dunno if I'm continuing on to BG2. It depends on the ratio of Fun to the ratio of Loathing For All Things at the time this finishes. Although I am cautiously optimistic that the finale will indeed be Fun. For me.
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ANGER HAS NEVER BEEN MORE MANLY THAN THIS.
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07-21-2010, 10:34 PM | #108 |
WE WILL HAVE WUUUUUUUUUUUUURDS
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 777
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When I said week, I meant five days as well. THe only things I didn't thoroughly destroy was ulgoth's beard and durlag's tower, cuz my final save wasn't teleporting me to beard town like it was supposed to, and forget walking back.
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. fuck Blue Magic and fuck you. Fabulous
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07-21-2010, 10:42 PM | #109 |
Kawaii-ju
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The adorable little angels you were talking about are Tucker's Kobolds
Go back the way you came and accept ze glories of success.
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Godzilla vs. Gamera (1994) |
07-21-2010, 10:55 PM | #110 | |
Burn.
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Quote:
And hey, you can also put down a "What I did on my summer break" intermission in case things get slow and an update is needed. :P
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"Only the fool wishes to go into battle to beat someone for the satisfaction of beating someone." -A Thousand Sons Rules. Read them, know them, love them. |
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