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12-21-2010, 12:29 AM
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#101 |
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Lakitu
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,648
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>{Processing error: rewinding to earlier command} >Dammit Derpah For the love of . . . Aldurin does not have a last name, the problem is in the 15 other trolls who can't process that excessively nominal detail. Oh and it appears Aldurin is currently unconcious, thank goodness he wasn't awake to hear you. >Aldurin: Wake up. Well, your new power of electrical resistance now has a reasonably quantifiable limit. Turns out the backup generator wasn't completely warmed up and only at half output when you tested it. Close call. >Do something relatively safe. You might as well go ahead and see if Scalis is up for leading half the charge in this game. You leave one of the several equipment rooms you have scattered throughout your hive and proceed to the nearest clusterhusk terminal. >Stare at screen. show pesterlog You can't believe it, he still isn't answering. You'll have to consider other options if he takes to a sudden habit of playing dead when you try to contact him.
>Do something else. Might as well check the power distribution and make sure your lusus stops drawing so much power for whatever he's doing. >Sounds boring. Be someone else. |
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12-26-2010, 02:39 PM
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#102 |
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So Dreamy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Someplace magical
Posts: 6,863
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>Sounds boring. Be someone else.
Fetch quests are much less boring! You are now GORRMA, and you are searching for HIDDEN TREASURE in your hive. >Gorrma: view treasure map. Treasure map? She don't need to show you no stinking treasure map. Basically because she doesn't have one. > wut You don't have a MAP to find the HIDDEN TREASURE, mainly because you are the one who hid the treasure in the first place! You've pretty much narrowed its possible location down to one spot. There's generally only two or three places you hide stuff that you don't want to accidentally eat. Hm. Actually, this is less of a TREASURE HUNT and more of a TREASURE GET. Oh well. There is a green flour canister up on the shelf above you. Little do your many enemies know that the canister has a SECRET SMUGGLING COMPARTMENT. You are so clever. >Open canister. You open the canister and out falls TWO(2) TRANSPARENT CRYSTALS. Well that was anticlimactic. Hm. They are sort of covered in flour. Next time you go to all the trouble of rigging something with a secret compartment, you should probably actually USE it. > Eat crystal. With gusto! You take a big bite, relishing the satisfying crunch. Hmmm. Crisp and dry, with earthy undertones and a nice finish. Slight aftertaste. It would pair well with a--- Wait. Waaait. Didn't you need this crystal for something? Oh dammit. Why'd you have to go and eat the crystal? Now you only have one crystal to trade with. You blockhead. >Eat other crystal. You are about to oblige when you are stopped by a strange noise. Either the heat sensor on the oven is going crazy again, or someone is trolling you. >Eat other crystal. What's that you say, Run upstairs to see what's going on? Very well. You CAPTACHLOGUE the CRYSTAL first. It breaks down into-- oh curses. You hate it when this happens. The crystal dissappears, a ghost recipe card is created, and silicon and oxygen molecules are dumped into the ingredients bin. You have no idea how you're going to remember that when the time comes to get the crystal out of your sylladex. > Eat the flour canister You'd really like to, but you should probably go make sure the oven isn't going to explode and destroy the entire kitchen block. That would be a real bummer. You run upstairs. The oven is still in one piece, but your computer is beeping. Looks like you've got several people TROLLING you. >Answer Zebrek. You have this conversation. Well, at least you're not the only one who doesn't know what's up with this SGRUB thing. You'd better take your own advice and settle down with a snack for a wh--- Wait. Who's this other guy trolling you? The name looked familiar.... >Answer. Troll log off the starboard bow! Hmmmm. You probably should have mentioned that you just talked to Zebrek a second ago. Oh well. You got picked to be on someone's team! Aweshome! Time for some manual-reading and a light snack to help you focus! >Be someone else.
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Yoo Hoo! Last edited by mauve; 12-28-2010 at 03:33 PM. |
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12-26-2010, 03:51 PM
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#103 |
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OMG! WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW?
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 3,802
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> Be someone else.
You're now Sharl. His arms are practically flailing as he is running back and forth through his warehive, all cluttered with junk. > Be careful! Don't panic so much! Oh, that was too late. He already tripped on his lusus littered junk and bumped his forehead on a bookcase. Fortunately, his head was amply protected by his bucket and went back to work. >Why the rush? The troll doesn't even give you the time of night as he frantically weave through his supplies, picking out select few items from the list. > Peek at his hivetop. You peek at his hivetop to see an abacus program, several labelled blueprints of his warehives and some pesterchum conversations... Conversation 1 Conversation 2 Conversation 3 Suddenly, the helmeted merchant starts scrambling on his hivetop and typing hastily. butketHed [BH]- began trolling hastyExecutor [HE]- BH: Iropha, I'm in dire need of your assistance!  BH: I recently recieved two orders. Both of them being a considerable task.  BH: One being a oven, oversized class to be delivered to Gorma. The other being a delicate shipment of medical supplies to be sent to Nasyrl. BH: I'm already going mad getting everything all ready.  BH: Can I count on your assistance to deliver them posthaste? > Leave the busy troll to his business. Find someone else not quite so busy. |
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12-30-2010, 05:07 PM
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#104 | ||||||||
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Magikoopa
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,789
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> Leave the busy troll to his business. Find someone else not quite so busy.
Congratulations, you are Tergum again! >Goddammit. Oh suck it up, shitface. You have a troll to answer! You really hope it's someone you don't want to punch in the fa...Dammit Derpah. >Dammit Derpah Quote:
>Tergum: Troll everyone.  Quote:
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>Tergum: Go read the guide. Yeah, fuck that, you have Pokegrub to play. >Be someone less stupid. You entirely fail to do so, and are now... Tergum from the distant future! >Distant Future Tergum: Update. You're even more annoyed than you were; it's been two hours and you still haven't heard back from anyone other than Aldurin and Vintag. What the shit? >Distant Future Tergum: If at first you don't succeed... Blast all of your friends with notifications. Quote:
>Be someone else while Tergum waits for a goddamn response, Team Rocket. |
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12-30-2010, 09:29 PM
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#105 |
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Cinderella
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Trespassing in the graveyard
Posts: 3,076
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>Be someone else while Tergum waits for a goddamn response, Team Rocket
You are now Leraje. You're secret leadership of Team Fortress seems to be going sweetly. You were able to organize the team exactly to your wishes while keeping Caoway as your scapegoat. With most of the team confirmed via chat and such you decide to start up your likely only overt action of leadership. >Leraje: Make memo. Open Memo Jegus fucking Chris. How could you forget to send her the fucking game!? Stupid stupid dumb. >Leraje: Troll Bergun You take a break from smashing your skull into the space beside your keyboard to inform your friend of the stakes. Open Pesterlog Okay. Rectified. Though it does rise the question of exactly what you may have done handing this kind of information over to someone who might inform the rest of the world. This isn't to say you wouldn't save the Empress, but you don't know how a game with such scope will respond to the sudden influx of players. Oh well, this will probably never come back to bite you in the ass. Ever. >Leraje: Take another look at the memo. Couldn't hurt. Open Memo Everything still seems dandy. You were able to set up the idea that they would be operating without leadership and everyone was able to show up quite unlike that little Team Rocket gathering you crashed. All that food talk really has made you hungry. You hoped Seymour was off hunting right now. Some fresh fish could really fill your gullet right now. Better check around for food before you chew your arm off again. >Be someone else while you look for snacks.
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Time to bust out the glow sticks!  |
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12-31-2010, 11:36 PM
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#106 |
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Argus Agony
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Gotta go fishing!
Posts: 10,483
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>Be someone else while you look for snacks. You are now Ballaa. It was a productive, er, "night" patrolling the streets of your hiveblock, and you can safely say that you made sure crime was far too terrified to venture out into what you're going to continue pretending is the darkness, despite all evidence to the contrary. As you return to your hive, a curious new foe has taken it upon themselves to contact you! >Answer foe. Show Pesterlog >Deduce the identity of your new archenemy. Well, despite the text color, something about this particular troll seems to lack that certain regal flair, and his... her? Whatever. The villain's typing quirk seems almost artificial, like-- >FUCK THAT SHIT, HERE COMES TERGUM. Ugh. Welp, guess you might as well get whatever he has to say over with and move on with your life. >Answer Tergum. Show Pesterlog
>Study game information while awaiting the gogdamn batdisks. You open the .ttxt file and begin reading, which is no easy task considering how much of a tool Capiti types like. It's bad enough that he won't stop playing games for wrigglers, but if he typed any more like a tool he'd probably believe in shit like fairies or something. Not like you. You are a mature troll that reads mature illustrated periodicals for mature trolls such as yourself. >Move on to the next troll.
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Either you're dead or my watch has stopped. |
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01-01-2011, 01:46 AM
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#107 | |
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An eagle with the head of a turtle-
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: and the body of a turtle.
Posts: 1,371
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>Be the next troll.
In this game, the next troll is Caoway. It's you. You are currently banging your head against the keyboard after experiencing what you believe your future-self meant when he/you said you/him were about to have a bad day. After bringing Gorrma and Sharl aboard, you hit a wall. A great big wall that upon hitting, preceded to overeact to being hit and started getting all pissy with you and then finally kicked you in the shame globes. Things started out badly with trying to find a replacement for Zeb and they only got worse. Ballaa turned out to be a complete weirdo, Aldurin turned you down once you told him the line up, Vintag misconstrued your invitation as asking to appear in one of her performances and blocked you when tried to correct her, Scalis wouldn't troll back for some reason, Reztek typed out a little song telling you get lost, Narsyl wouldn't stop inquiring about how you've been recovering from a certain injury so you blocked him, and Iropha.... You really don't want to remember that conversation. You've exhausted all your contacts and then some, and you still don't have replacement for that ADH-Dipshit. You head really hurts. Probably because of the [ key lodged in your forehead. >Caoway: Try trolling Gunny McMoron again. Here goes nothing. Show chatlog. Finally, the spot may be occupied by Zebrek but at least there's someone there. Now you can troll Leraje and tell him to go fetch the Terror of the Deep and his mystery guest. Things are finally starting to look up. >Caoway: Perform victory interpretive dance. You perform an interpretive dance for this small victory with your stuffed crustacean monster. It's not to be interpreted as a crustacean dance though, those kinds of dances are something completely different. Hoy? Looks like Tergum's trolling you. No doubt to tell you how he's so exited to be playing on your team. >Caoway: Be told where to shove your team. You answer Tergum and have the last conversation in this post. And you're back where you started. Great >Caoway: Head. Keyboard. Make it so. Before you have a chance to give the [ key a new neighbor, Leraje's trollian icon blinks. When it rains, it pours. >Caoway: Fall victim to the meddler's wheels within wheels. You answer the meddler and proceed to have the last Xanatosian chatlog in this post. Well, there's no way around it now. Just going to have to do it quick and hope it won't be too painful. >Caoway: Answer Ice Queen. You then spend a few minutes combing out Ten's hair, rearranging the chest pile, and making sure you lusus has enough water. >Caoway: STOP SHITTING AROUND!!!!!!!! Okay, geeeeeeeez. You stop ignoring Glissa and have this conversation. ARGH, Cursed Cold Current Curator of a Codfish Countess! Darn Glissa, pretending this was about her thinking you were dead rather than the artifacts to make you feel guilty, like you need more things to feel guilty about. She makes your blood boil... Well, not really. Sure you're a little annoyed by her attitude but you certainly don't hate her. Not any more than the rest of your friends. She never once told you to stay out of the water or tried to impale you with a spear or giant eating utensil like most of the other seatrolls you've encountered in the past. And it's not like she ordered you to retrieve the stupid frog thing, she asked you and even offered a reward for your troubles. It's not saying much, but she's easily the nicest fishtroll you've ever met. Still, ARGH! Why the hell did you even joke about doing a crustacean dance for her forgiveness? You don't even know which dance is the one for forgiveness, let alone any of the steps. Well, guess you'll just have to make sure there's a few players between you and miss haughty haddock-face and avoid her like a horn rot virus when you're in the medium. Well, may as troll Leraje and tell him to- Huh? Looks like he went ahead and started a memo without you. That does save you a bit of trouble. >Caoway: Examine Frog Idol. You turn your attention to the old, craggy idol lodged in your stuffed splashhound's mouth. You went through a bit of trouble to get this stupid thing. It's not even that great. Looks like someone went nuts with a spirograph on it. >Caoway: Answer Memo. You answer the memo and, after much back and forth, it is decided that you will be the one to start the game. Hrm. This is exciting. You should be excited. I mean, for once in your life, you'll get the opportunity to venture into a place where supposedly no troll has ever set foot. But, it just gives you an uneasy feeling. The same kind of feeling you had right before you delivered the "Ultimate Sabotage" upon Zottic and then... You decide to troll Aldurin and see how things are going. Show chatlog. That's that then. All that's left is to message Leraje and tell him that you're both going through with this. That it will transpire. >Caoway: Please don't cyber Bro-hug. What? Why would think that was going to happen? Whatever. You promptly tell Zeb to shut up on the memo and let Leraje know that you're ready. Now for that file, that's staring you right in the face and has been for the last three hours or so. >Caoway: ...Hug lusus. You move the mouse and- >Caoway: JUST HUG HIM OKAY! You scamper down-stairs and into your lusus' block. Beechie still in a content, dreamlike state thanks to the musical stylings of acclaimed singer and war veteran, Troll Beyonce. Who is most definitely a MOLAWNRING singer. On this world. You pat his snout and give him the biggest hug you can. Don't you worry, matey. We'll be in a better place soon enough. >Caoway: Begin installing SGRUB Remastered. You already did. A weird spirograph thingy appears on screen but you take no notice as you're already on your way out the door. You make your way past a half a whale and a small iceberg as the view slowly shifts back to your RESPITEBLOCK, where the colors and spirograph from the husktop screen dance around in unAlternian glow. Suddenly, the screen lights up brighter than should be possible. The sigils on the frog idol catch the glow in weird way. It almost looks like it's glowing as well. The view swithes to outside, where a few red shooting stars drip down past the horizon. You don't take notice, just like you didn't notice that the storm clouds cleared. You're at the dock now and you're effortlessly yanking your small boat out the water with your pole-and-line, a marvelous display of your prowess with that abstratus. You fling it over onto your cart and begin your journey back up to the cape. Way off in the distance, one of the bigger shooting stars touches down in the sea. The big wave that was already brewing just got a whole lot bigger. The view switches back to the RESPITEBLOCK, where the spirograph continues to dance around. One by one, the similar spirographs on the frog begin to move around like the one on screen. All sixteen of them. The view switches back outside, to you, now on the cape looking at the whale half and hulking mass of ice. You switch weapons, from your old reliable rod and reel to one with a razor-eged steel line. You begin cutting through the flesh, making neat beast sized portions. Purple blood sprays everywhere but you continue butchering the carcass. Once you have a good portion of it cut up, you turn to the ice. You wave your line like a lasso, forming cricle in the air. Well, actually, it looks more like a spiro- The view segways back inside, the loading bar is nearly full. The frog idol's spirographs continue to move in sync with screen spirograph. The image of one of the spirographs melts into the image of the vinyl music disk playing downstairs. It reaches the end of the groove and falls off. The music stops playing. In the next block, Beechie comes out of his trance. He remembers the reason he was so worked up earlier and bolts up. He listens around but fails to pick up any trace of Caoway. Panicked, he blindly rushes forward. Right through the door. You are nearly upon the threshold of Beechie's entrance with a wagon full of iced whale blubber when your lusus bursts out and knocks both you and the cart over. He runs around the lawn, frightened, worried, and generally just flipping out. You make a move to try and calm him down, but you stop when a great shadow falls over you. You look up at the massive wave as it slowly crests over your hive. The bi-daily tidal wave is much bigger tonight. Inside the respiteblock, just as the loading bar is about filled, the windows break open and water gushes in. Clutter is washed all around and the lights go out. Sparks pop out of the husktop and the screen goes blank. And then it flickers back on, displaying the words: SGRUB
Remastered
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Some quote: Quote:
Last edited by Intern Nin; 09-04-2011 at 11:26 PM. Reason: I was slightly drunk when I made this post, so I went back and fixed some stuff. |
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