Avatar RP VIII: Chapter VII: Timing

[Astral Harmony]

The Azure Aesir was more or less a worthless hunk of adrift junk. The Random Space Badgers were harassing both ship and crew.

"Get away from me!" Alucard shouted, trying to stop a badger from humping her leg without much success.
"Maybe if we feed 'em, they'll leave us alone," Maya said, blocking the vicious bites and kung fu chops of the furry bastards.
"What do they eat?"
"Nuts and berries and shit like that, I guess."
"We've gotta bunch of blueberries in the fridge and plenty of nuts in food storage."
"See if you can get some. We'll hold the badgers here."

Easier said than done. There were so many of the fuzzballs. Now that the Asuras were also distracted by the badgers, the crew saw to their wounded and mortally wounded. Kira retrieved Armored Bishoujo from space and yanked her back to the Aesir to join the rest of them. Rachel was revived and the others were being healed up.
"Feels like the strange effects are starting to fade," Soleen observed.
"Hopefully, we won't need to go all out anymore," Kira said, her wounds closed and healed up.

Then another whopper. The NPF vanished into thin space.
"Holy bleep on a bleep sandwich with a side of bleep!" Rachel shouted. "That's a fully armed and operational battle station!"
"Get Armored a space suit, now!" Alean ordered. "I don't think we can stay here anymore. We're running out of air and the Aesir isn't safe anymore."

The crew worked under the most difficult circumstances imaginable, trying to operate while under near constant assault from Jetpack Badgers. Badgers weren't terribly hard to kill, especially for quick fighters like Rachel and Aya, Maya's catgirl ninja sister. But they had bigger problems than badgers.
"I we can't defeat whatever destroyed that city, then we won't even have a place to refill our air tanks," Alean noted, observing Bob with a set of binoculars.
"How can we beat it?"
"Well, we don't stand a chance of even engaging it with these fuckin' furballs and those Asuras. Plus, Armored is uncontious. There's just gotta be a way out of this."

[Overcast]

Metacast stared at the ball as it traveled across the chattering mass of badgers that was space, his hand boredly placed upon his chin. He had already read to the end of that post so he knew what was going to happen, he had watched it happen a few times but no matter how many times he saw it, it was still going to occur. It was because while he could do anything in the realm of his character he was still bound by roleplay rules of reaction, and the puppeteer behind the robot had neglected to offer anyone the chance to do anything about the blast.

It was disappointing, but inevitable. He watched the NPF removed, from common existence and he sighed deeply. He pushed past his personal collection of box headed badgers, their attacks stopped by their sudden mutation by the absence between universes given flesh. His hand raised forward and he opened the void wide, the NPF plopping back under everyone's feet like nothing had happened. He had enjoyed standing away from the action, but most of his minor avatars had already served their purpose and he had a better idea of how to use his sudden influx of energy. He fell into the Box at his waist the universe closing in around the hole to the void he stepped through. A wave in reality pulsing as he fell back to his old home.

Then he returned, ripping through the universe like wet tissue the Box appearing across from the robot and opening for Metacast to crawl out. He stared at the bot a moment and spoke,

"Look you. This is not the way to be an endboss. You are strong, blah blah we get that. But you are going beyond what even a bonus boss is able to do. You are BORING. If I were you I'd find a way to get rid of all the flibbity flab we are calling Fury energy right now and engage us in a proper battle. Show that you are worth a damn. Look! I'll expend all of mine, right now!" meta

He grabbed at the Box and pushed the universe flexing around him as he tried to force himself further in until every last inch of his form was exposed the Box faded from existence. Everything was shaking. EVERYTHING. Then he exploded in a mass of FERRETS! And from the smoke of these sudden ferrets floated a little yellow cardboard box,

"Well? How about it?"

[Bard The 5th LW]

Yaoi, knives, badgers, and destruction. These were the things occurring in rapid succession to and around Bard. He mostly stayed silent to it while he questioned his sexuality and fled from intergalactic super rodents.

But then the motherfucker went and blew up all of NPF. That was the last straw!

"Look you. This is not the way to be an endboss. You are strong, blah blah we get that. But you are going beyond what even a bonus boss is able to do. You are BORING. If I were you I'd find a way to get rid of all the flibbity flab we are calling Fury energy right now and engage us in a proper battle. Show that you are worth a damn. Look! I'll expend all of mine, right now!"

"What he said!" Bard shouted moments afterwards. "That was also where I kept my garden which was mostly forgotten after the first post! Destroy him!"

Overcast then took the cue and destroyed himself, releasing an army of ferrets. Bard has to assist! He turned to the item gifted to him by the act of making out with Teal Mage, that would have to be it! He reached in, and out came a throwing knife, tinted red. He aimed, and threw it at the lame endboss. He reached in again, and there was another, and he threw it as well. He continued this process of throwing knives from the endless pool, and the summoner intended to keep throwing them until his arm physically fell off. His tomatoes would be avenged.

Geist

Doo do doo do dooo OH SHIT ULTIMATE DESTRUCTION

[Inbred Chocobo]

Bob the NPF city destroyer grabbed the little yellow cardboard box. Ferrets were biting and attacking the machine, but it looked like it wasn't even phasing it, it just pushed them aside like it was swimming. "Yeah, you are probably right, I am kind of boring arn't I?" It said as it ripping the box in half, tossing the peices aside as the dimensions tore and time and reality freaked out as the impossible happened.

Then he was pelted with knives. "Ow, what was that for?" The thing said, turning towards Bard. "Do you really have to do something like that?" The being stood next to Bard now, looking more... human for some reason. "You do realize that is a very impolite thing to do, poking at people with knives." It said in casual conversation tone.

[PyrosNine]

Pyro kitty awoke, as if he sensed a disturbance in a george lucas film based manner.

Of course, he also sensed spilt soda and a few kitty bruises.

"Agh! Remind me never to sleep in an Arwing again!"

He started cleaning.

"Mmm, nice flavor!"

* * *

The NPF Azure launched a transmission the same as in a previous manner, to the strange robotic fellow.

"Attention robotic figure! You have just gone and blown the fuck out of our homecity, after all that time and effort to get it into outer space! Please explain yourself before I give you a disapproving look and a lecture!"

In case the robotic figure didn't understand Science English, there were two secondary messages with other translations for ease of communication:

"That's not cool at all, dude. What's the deal?"

"Shit boy, why you be trippin?"

Dr. Ethington found it quite hard to give this aforementioned speech, as she found her bra strap dangerously loose as well as had quite a few badgers biting her limbs and swimming up her hair like carp.

[Bard The 5th LW]

"You do realize that is a very impolite thing to do, poking at people with knives." He was unaffected by the skills Bard gathered in his carnival days? PREPOSTEROUS. Bard would simply have to try harder.

"STOP TRYING TO ACT BLASE ABOUT IT, NO ONE THINKS YOU'RE COOL!" Bard responded furiously, still attempting to stab him despite previous failures. "DO YOU THINK ITS POLITE TO ANNIHIlFY SOMEONE'S BELOVED TOMATOES? THEIR SQUASH? THE MANY VEGETATIONS OF THE ORCHARD THAT THEY PORED THE REMAINDER OF THEIR SOULS NOT IN POSSESSION OF AN ELDER GOD INTO? WELL THINK AGAIN YOU COCKY FUCK!"

He just said a bad word! He means business. Recalling his time on the tightrope and trapeze (possibly assisted by hatred drugs), he leaped onto the shoulders of the douchetool of an endboss. It was at this point he realized he had no plan, but that wouldn't hold him back. If he just stopped now he would look foolish in front of his friends and love interest(s?). He did the first thing that came to mind and attempted to summon something. ANything. The only possible candidate was the Pluto armor, so he activated the electric shock and hoped that the weight of the animated Mech would be enough to perform viable damage.

[Teal Mage]

Summary: Teal beats up some Badgers and asks Steel a favor. Mostly irrelevant stuff (and not as well written as my usual posts) so, you can ignore it if you feel like. Ain't vital to the game, after all. But it was very fun to write! Also I promised to respond to Pyros, and I intend to fulfill my commitment!

His last spell having reduced his Furian-wrought power from a staggering 15xInfinity (by his count) to a mere 2xInfinity, Teal acted quickly - 'lest that small buff get any smaller! Gathering the strange reddish force that was the Fury into his hand, he drove it into the space-time continuum. A portal unfolded, forming a red jagged wound in the fabric of reality. Through it, Teal's carefully manicured claws latched onto the soft orange folds of another character's cloak.

"Steel!" He shouted, wrenching the man backwards, "We have things to discuss!"

Something that sounded suspiciously like glass shattered, as the fox-tailed magician hauled the Chronokinetic out of whatever reality he thought he was in and back into this one. Still glowing with (by Teal's count) 17xInfinite Power, the Time Knight was thrown onto the floating red platform that Teal had made in his last post.

"Huh?" From his prone position, Steel looked confused. "Oh, right," He stood up, brushing himself off. "Saving the world. Wow, I'd forgotten all about that. How's it going? And why are there badgers everywhere?"

"That," Scarlet eyes as confused as his companion's, Teal looked from Space-Badger to space Badger. "is a very good question."

The Badger-Biker-Brigade Attacked!

Engines revving, the motorcycle riding badgers charged at the pair of Forum-dwellers in the center of their hastily formed ring. Thinking quickly, Teal snatched up Steel's cape, and, with a ripple of Furian Energy, propelled both of them upward. Chains swished just below the place where they had been moments ago, missing their feet by inches. Bikers followed the chains, covering Teal's magical red platform in a chaotic maelstrom of fur, leather and metal.

Blond hair billowing in the (mysterious) space wind, Teal laughed - releasing Steel from his clawed grip to float in space at his side. "Man!" His claws slashed the buttons from his jacket, causing the tuxedo to billow open, revealing a candy apple red button-up shirt beneath it. "I really needed that." A short flash of red erupted along the seem of his tie, causing it break into a mass of iridescent red cherry blossoms.

As the Badger Biker Brigade wheeled beneath them, aligning themselves for another charge, Teal shot Steel a bright look. "Remember Steel," he grinned, winking conspiratorially at the Time Knight, "killing things is a felony on most planets!" The Badgers revved their motorcycles, barking out the last of their latest orders. "And you can't erase them from time either!" Teal added sharply, anticipating the Time Knight's obvious solution.

The Badgers attacked!

Red flower petals splayed, as Teal vanished from his place beside Steel. The fox tailed mage reappeared on the red platform, - where the badgers had just charged vertically from - black dress shoes hovering inches above its translucent surface. Carmine aura flaring, Teal spun in place. Below him, the floating panel's glossy surface unraveled, turning into a mass of cardinal-red thread-like filaments. At Teal's next gesture, the threads surged upward, merging into large tendrils of solidified furian energy. They wrapped around three of the Badger-Bikers - effectively trapping them in non-lethal fashion magic.

Even with only twice infinite power, Teal easily out gunned these Badger-like creatures. As the remaining members of the motorcycle gang wheeled above him, Teal figured it was time for that discussion he'd wanted to have with Steel. Brushing aside his blond locks, the mage laid two fingers onto the Communication Device still securely placed in his ear. "Hey Steel?"

Seeing as he'd given the Time Knight an Eclipse Industry Communicator before this space adventure had begun, Steel would have heard every word - perhaps even if he'd been in another dimension!

Bikers swept in from the side, and Teal lithely jumped away - a ripple of red force appearing where he had stood. "Look, could you do me a big favor and," The mage's free hand snapped out, streams of scarlet light flowing in its wake. "hop back in time say..." The streams of light grew larger the further away from Teal they flew, until they struck the Badgers, wrapping the pair of them in magically wrought - non-lethal - scarves.

"...oh, fifteen minutes?" He spun, firing off a ball of fashion magic toward another Badger's face. "I'd like you to take a message to me when I'm in the Kurosen Tunnels, killing eagles I think." The sphere exploded, tying the badge, head-to-toe, in pretty red thread and lace.

"Anyway," Teal stopped moving, turning his attention to the (random) mothership that had appeared some distance away, "just tell Past-Me to send the Chaos Nova Shot about...ten minutes into the future when she has to, and about..." He did some quick mental math, "...couple thousand miles up, and maybe another thousand to the right." He shrugged, "I'm sure I'll figure out what I mean."

Back to Badger stompin'!

He was sure Bard was taking care of all those horrible plot-relevant things on his own. Teal had given him another nine hits of Fury after all! Surely if any of them could save the Forum, it was Bard.

That was why he'd wisely decided to stop looking in that direction after what appeared to be a giant Arhra had grown from the NPF's center. Hopefully everything was still okay!

[Arhra]

Overcast was telling the fury robot thing just what he thought of it.

"Look you. This is not the way to be an endboss. You are strong, blah blah we get that. But you are going beyond what even a bonus boss is able to do. You are BORING. If I were you I'd find a way to get rid of all the flibbity flab we are calling Fury energy right now and engage us in a proper battle. Show that you are worth a damn. Look! I'll expend all of mine, right now!"

He grabbed at the box that was part of him and pushed in quite a complex way. Ferrets went everywhere and then there was naught but a little yellow cardboard box.

And ferrets, of course.

"Well? How about it?" the box said.

The red glowing robot agreed it was boring and then tore Overcast in half on account of being a jerk like that.

"Ten points out of ten for honesty," a patch of empty space with Arhra V's voice said to the torn box, "but minus several million for good thinking." She was projecting her voice to that location through some ineffable technosorcery.

And apparently listening too.

Badgers and ferrets tried to attack her disembodied voice but could not, for obvious reasons. Idiots.

Bard chipped in. With an endless parade of blood fountaining knives!

"Ow, what was that for?" the robot said. "Do you really have to do something like that?" You do realize that is a very impolite thing to do, poking at people with knives."

""STOP TRYING TO ACT BLASE ABOUT IT, NO ONE THINKS YOU'RE COOL!" Bard shouted back at it, still stabbing. ""DO YOU THINK ITS POLITE TO ANNIHIlFY SOMEONE'S BELOVED TOMATOES? THEIR SQUASH? THE MANY VEGETATIONS OF THE ORCHARD THAT THEY PORED THE REMAINDER OF THEIR SOULS NOT IN POSSESSION OF AN ELDER GOD INTO? WELL THINK AGAIN YOU COCKY FUCK!"

Bard leapt onto the shoulders of the endboss and realised he would have to make up a plan as he went. Step one: summon Pluto armour.

"Baaaaaaard." a new voice breathed. "You killed me." It sounded suspiciously like an evil sorceress. "But I forgive you. You were only doing what you thought was right. And so, with my vast and benevolent powers, I will ensure you live a long and happy life. No matter what."

Bard felt a terrible sinking feeling as Arhra IX grasped hold of his fate.

Arhra IX's perception was warped into something far from normal. To her eyes, she hung in a ghostly half-world, the physical state of things difficult to make out beneath the web of interconnections she sensed.

The Valker robot's attack on the NPF had its physical existence completely overshadowed by impressions flooding in from Arhra IX's widened perceptions. It was a contracting cone, condensing as its possible future states diminished and growing more substantial out from the ghostly world she lived in as its relevance to her existence increased. Its sense of self was minimal; its intent, harmful. She tasted ties of significance to each of the swirling vortexes of motion and song that she saw the NPFers as.

It obliterated the NPF. Disorientated, Arhra IX took a moment to realise what had happened. Links died out, emotions were stirred. She was suddenly hungry, the reality around her depleted of significance to feed upon. That was not good. Her transformation had been only partially, but she would be able to carry on. Arhra IX finally noticed the change in her size but dismissed it as irrelevant for the moment. She barely even twitched as she studied her surroundings, her body a skyscraper sized puppet dwarfed by the wings of unreality that supported her.

Then she found Bard. With the state she was currently in, she could do more than just see fate and probability, she could meddle with it. The summoner would be living a charmed life for the foreseeable future.

"Final boss? Don't make me laugh!" Arhra V said, seizing on an earlier comment by the robot IX had privately dubbed Bob. "You won't be the end of anything! All you can ever hope to be is a footnote in our glorious history!"

"Allow me..."

Her voice started pulling away, migrating back towards the lumpy potato of the crumpled Valker spaceship.

"...to show you..."

The mothership stirred, cracks spreading across its surface and light shining through. Organ music started.

"...what an end boss..."

Something rounded began pushing out, its surface coated with thousands of long dark strands. There was a ragged gap in the front, revealing the object to be pale underneath. There was a flash of red, staring out. Something else broke through, something that had once been a crance. It was now an arm. The object of before was a head. A choir joined in.

"...really is."

The disintegrating Valker mothership uncurled, the hull plating warping around the colossal figure it had been reconfigured into. Black tentacles in their innumerable thousands wove together to make fabric, armour forming with it to create a dress.

Arms crossed, legs spread in a wide stance, hair blowing in the nonexistent space wind, a city sized Arhra V glared down at the ants in front of her.

Unrelenting Horror of Progress

ARHRA V

Nothing good could possibly come of this.

Forever.

"PITIFUL INSECTS!" Arhra V boomed, switching off her in-doors voice. "THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH!"

"I AM ARHRA, THE FIFTH BY THAT NAME, AND THIS FORTRESS IS MY BODY. BY VIRTUE OF THE POWER THAT IS CALLED SCIENCE, I HAVE COME TO PUNISH YOU ALL. I CONSUME THE WORKS OF MY ENEMIES AND SO I SHALL WIELD YOUR GREATEST WEAPONS AGAINST YOU." she raved. She didn't claim an existence equal to or greater than God. It must have slipped her mind.

"YOUR RECKONING HAS COME. I SHALL THROW WIDE THE GATES OF HELL AND TURN THIS ENDLESS NIGHT TO BRILLIANT DAY. MY PASSAGE WILL SHATTER MOUNTAINS AND SPLIT OPEN THE SKY. I BEAR THE LIGHT THAT CAN ANNIHILFY ANYTHING!"

"YOU!" she said, pointing at the Valker robot. "LOOK UPON ME AND KNOW DESPAIR! I AM THE CITY-SHIP OF YOUR BIRTH REMADE INTO THIS PERFECTED FORM! ALL YOUR WEAPONS ARE MINE! YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN SCRAP METAL THROWN FROM MY BODY AS TRASH! NO STYLE! NO SPIRIT! NOT! EVEN!! A!! NAAAME!!!"

"YOU ARE PERMITTED TO STRUGGLE BEFORE THE END. YOU WILL BREAK YOUR SWORD ON YOUR MOTHER'S WOMB!"

The giant cyborg took up a fighting pose. "NOW COME AT ME, STEVE!!!"

She seemed to be unwilling to open fire while Bard was standing on him.

"You can shoot. I have Bard." Arhra IX broadcast helpfully.

"EXCELLENT!!!"

Lights glittered like stars all over Arhra V's body and then she opened up with what appeared to be approximately one thousand lasers. Lines of burning light all fell inwards, Steve occupying the tip of the cone.

Bard, of course, was safe. Arhra IX bent the lines of causality away from harmful futures and played havoc with the laws of chance to allow the virtual impossibility of an innocent bystander remaining in the middle of a storm of lasers unharmed.

After all, they hadn't been aimed at him.

[PyrosNine]

Dr. Ethington was not shocked by her ESTEEMED COLLEAGUEGRRRRRHATE's transformation, nor her sudden burst of ego or her Michael Jackson wishing star spaceship robot transformation.

No, what really troubled her was the fact that, in theory, though V's hair and breasts were now perfectly in proportion to her figure, they were also much, much larger than Ethington's by virtue of sheer scale.

Yeah, Dr. Asheth had nothin'.

It's not like they'd let her poof out resident bishounen giant robot Majimmier any time soon, and her own spaceship was nowhere near that big for transformation.

That, and she was apparently amidst coitus, though she wasn't sure if Hattington was still around or if it was just the fury powered lab assistants finally deciding to get at dat ass. It was an unusual, if boring position and no where near as exciting as action science.

She'd have to think of something to fix everything within the next few minutes, because fury or no, they were lab assistants and not that guy from the Old spice commercial.

* * *

Kitty Pyros sighed, having used the convenient collection of hand towels for just such an occasion of a soda spill to make sure he was completely dry. Also so he didn't have to lick all of himself in his entirety clean in the presence of Arhra and one of the overcasts. And the badgers watching.

Kp was pretty sure that badgers licked themselves clean, but couldn't be sure, but did find several similarities between badgers and cats. They were tidy, had claws, and were on internet flash cartoons!

He wasn't too happy about they kept popping up from nowhere, and there was a mushroom and a snake, a snake, ooooh it's a snake!

The real nuisance was that while he was trying to watch the giant Arhra V and the strangely familiar looking Arhra IX, or the strange robot guy the giant robot arhra was pointing at, there were a bunch of them going into a bloodrage and hammering at the windows.

"Eulalia!" one roared.

If this kept up, Pyros would have to get back into the fight....though fire doesn't really burn well in a vacuum.

In the meantime, he put a paw down on the x-wing's windshield wipers.

[Inbred Chocobo]

Most of the badgers ran away from the big bad boss. You know, considering how strong and manly he was even though he is a robot. Except Grandman-badger, who went and sewed up the box the big bad guy had torn apart, making Overcast whole once more without the need for portals or anything else.

Bard's summon went weird, as the fury energy and the energy from the pluto armor mixed, causing his pluto armor to merge with an ancient summon he was pulling through, creating something far more dangerous and deadly. It was still the same pluto armor, but looking down at the gadges there were a lot of new buttons, and no energy or health levels on the display. It also must've had some crazy strength because it knocked Bob quite a bit of distance during its appearance.

Bob the big badass of ... some kind of b word was on the move. He was being distracted by lasers fired at him from all directions. He was quick, but those were lasers, gotta be like, blink of an eye quick. Well... Bob was that fast, but I mean even quicker. So bob was hit, and his health bar showed a tiny notch drop as he took damage. Bob looked like he was kind of angry, and attacked back with his own laser, firing in Arhra's general direction.