The Marvelous Misadventures of Asshat! [REBOOT]

[RobinStarwing]

Originally Posted by Mac

I wonder if Joey want's to "colonize" Asshat

That...just sounds wrong...

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Originally Posted by RobinStarwing

That...just sounds wrong...

Then my work here is done. *slings jacket over shoulder and walks off into the sunset while mariachi horns play somewhere in the background.*

[Fusionman]

Originally Posted by Mac

Then my work here is done. *slings jacket over shoulder and walks off into the sunset while mariachi horns play somewhere in the background.*

CURSE YOU MAC! I wanted the mariachi band!

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Originally Posted by Fusionman

CURSE YOU MAC! I wanted the mariachi band!

I have a pair of tap shoes with some gum on the right heel and a vuvuzela. Will that work?

[Fusionman]

Originally Posted by Shyria Dracnoir

I have a pair of tap shoes with some gum on the right heel and a vuvuzela. Will that work?

Vuvuzela yes the tap shoes no.

[Token]

Originally Posted by Mac

Token and Fenris: OTP!!

I... wha... eh... WHAT?

[Melfice]

Apparently, they "fixed" Joey in the re-makes.
I've not had Joey call me for a rematch since EVER. He's barely called me for any reason, really.
Same goes for anybody... hmm, maybe my game's (Soul Silver) glitched? =/

[The Argent Lord]

Originally Posted by Melfice

Apparently, they "fixed" Joey in the re-makes.
I've not had Joey call me for a rematch since EVER. He's barely called me for any reason, really.
Same goes for anybody... hmm, maybe my game's (Soul Silver) glitched? =/

It's just you. He calls me CONSTANTLY.

[Ecks]

All he has is a lame ass level 50 ish Raticate (ye gods, YES, he evolved it) that spams substitute until it dies.

Er, after your third or so rematch.

[Token]

NPF! Baby! I've missed you!


Oh crap. Two at once? I really wish we could just adopt the Double Battle system that the other regions use. Or maybe Isshu's Triple Battles. That would make stuff like this go by much more quickly.

Johto. Not we. I'm not that far gone. Even if I am developing a soft spot for Stupidhed, I will never sink to the level of calling myself Johtonian.

Yeah, that's adorable. Let's go.

Wait. Yoshi? I'm not sure if that's ridiculous or awesome.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I know it's a fairly traditional name on this part of the continent, but wow.

It's just... are you really called that?

"My name is actually Goomba."

Oh? What about the inevitability of death?

Or the inevitability of my foot going up your ass?

This will be fast.

Wait, what? Shit.

I really love Stabeak sometimes.

Oh, I get it, because you used Thunderpunch...

...I'd rather use words. I like words.

Look. Cecil. Can't we just skip this? I'd like to beat your nerdy leader quickly, if it's all the same to you.

Yeah, like that fast. Good job.

Huh. You aren't talking. I can respect that.

Wait, what? Okay... No. I really need an HM to get through this damn gym? It had better be on this fucking island...

...Balls. Back to Olivine, I guess.

The waters warm because you just pissed yourself. I don't care how loose or limber you are; you swimmers are the creepiest motherfuckers I have ever met.

I don't have the time. So, instead, I'm going to destroy your self-esteem with a few carefully chosen words.

Your skin has more wrinkles than the Pope's scrotum.

And then he cut himself.

No. Would you kindly go fuck yourself?

Fair enough.

Hello, goodbye.

Fucking Olivine. I guess this is why I should get my Doo-doo-doo-doo on as soon as I reach a new city.

Doo-doo-doo-doo.

Ex-fucking-scuse me?

Yeah, that's why I'm here, smartass.

Doo-doo-doo-doo, bitches!

Much better. Now, back to Cianwood, again. Allons-y!

I am so fucking tired of going back and forth.

Seriously. No more fucking backtracking.

I entirely fucking disagree.

See what happens when you fuck with me?

Exactly.

Okay. So I lost ten dollars. But he's fat, so that's like being a nerd.

Also, he's slightly insane.

Yes. Yes I have.

Yeah, you gym leaders always say that. The only one who gave me trouble was Morty, and that's because I was distracted by him masturbating during our battle.

Pretty sure the league's against the whole crushing bones thing.

Do I have a choice?

I swear to Shaymin, if you take your pants off I am stabbing you in the junk.

Okay, why are you picking up a rock?

That may be the single stupidest fucking thing I have ever seen.

Dude, it had nothing at all to do with our match. You're physically strong, that doesn't mean you can beat me in a Pokemon battle.

Mmhm. Can we get this over with now?

Allons-y.

BOSS BATTLE!
TokenASSHAT VS CHUBBY MUSCLEHEAD DUDE

Oh no. A Primape. I'm totally scared.

I can't even say that with a straight face.

Oh shit. Stabeak, I was planning to have you finish this yourself, but we both know what must be done.

Chuck, I know what you're thinking. Same levels, but yours is fully evolved. I bet you think you have the advantage, don't you? The thing is...

I'm harder. Better. Faster. Smarter.

Touche. However, I think you'll find my next point to be quite...

...hypnotic.

Yeah. That just happened.

Damn, I'm awesome.

Yeah, I know.

Doo-doo-doo-doo!

I wish I could say the same.

You really shouldn't be surprised. After all, I'm the best.

Eh. That probably won't help.

Roughly eighteen million times.

Harder than a priest in a daycare.

Are you hinting at something?

That's an amazing grasp of the obvious!

Doo-doo-doo-doo!

I wanted to learn it myself, actually.

And I couldn't just travel to Hoenn with this... why?

Wait, your husband? Well, he's definitely going to be training much more often...

It occurs to me that I may have just inadvertently ruined Chuck's marriage....
I AM AWESOME!

Wha-wha-wha-what did you say?

I don't think I know anyone like that. But if I did, I bet he'd be a massive pussy.

Sucks for you.

Wait! I can solve this problem! With SCIENCE!

And by science, I mean theft.

On second thought, I don't want this. Not really a defensive trainer.

Don't fucking remind me.

There were a few fatties, but I wouldn't really call them "islands..."

That's fucking ridiculous. Lugia isn't a "sea creature." It's a Psychic/Flying type.

Everyone in this house except for me is stupid. So, to prove you wrong, I'm going to capture Lugia, and shove it in my PC. There will still be whirlpools.

Wings? Do I look like a fucking JRPG character? Don't answer that.

I suppose that sort of makes sense.

Now I don't have to swim across that fucking sea anymore!

So, I have two options for my next badge. Hm... where to first?

I think we all know the answer to that one. Stabeak? Let's go.



EDIT: Forgot to mention episodes 8 and 9 will be up either later tonight or tomorrow. Love you guys.