NPF Avatars IV, Chapter VI: Imprisoned with the Maniacs

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

luckily for Hawk, he had been flying much to high up for Arhra to actually punch him, so Tarrin ended up taking the full force of the blow. He ignored him as he fell through a hole in the ground, muck like had done the last time he had fallen into the area.
Hawk flew over to where Arhra and Toastburner were now situated and landed on a nearby rock.

Originally Posted by Toastburner B

TB began to meander in the direction he figured their objective was

"Over that way is the cave system i used to get in here. There are two paths: the left one is where i came in and is much too small for any of you to get through, while the right path is unknown to me. It may lead to where we need to get to, and perhaps even a way out later on."

[Lumaes]

"Stupid bird! What a feather-brained nincompoop you are! If your brain could ever be extracted from that fiendishly densel, yet remarkably fragile, skull, I have no doubt it would not exist!!!"

He shook his head admonishingly, apparently taking frightful delight from his malevolent monologue.

"As I no doubt have to point out to you - as you have no fingers of your own - is that there are NO paths." Lumaes spun dramatically, pointing in all directions at once "We are in the middle of a plantation on the edge of a jungle under the ground! In order for there to be a path we'd have to pave it and that would only take us where we are going anyway! Which is what we're already doing! With the added minus that we'd have to somehow locate some delicious cement! Were are we going to get delicious cement!? Not at the buffet, that's for sure!" he casts such a spite laden glare at distancing manor it was in severe danger of whimpering.

"And I doubt you could even carry a two-kilo bucket of the stuff!!"
He huffs dramatically, using the delay to draw in a hasty breath;
"If you have nothing more to add may I suggest you increase your overall worth by finding a convenient oven and ROASTING yourself for our amusement and culinary delight."

Somehow Lumaes managed to stomp along beside the assemblage despite his lack of feet or, indeed, apparent legs.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Hawk looked coldly at Lumaes.
"i believe it is you who is mistaken(he put a lot of emphasis into that word) my bizzare looking friend,(again with the emphasis) fore there most definately is(yep, emphasis) a cave system leading out of this underground jungle over there, where the 4 foot tall cat is headed to",came the pyschic message from Hawk. "Hint hint, nudge nudge!!"

"And your extremely lucky i dont kill you for those remarks. Lucky for you that i only want to kill evil beings, rather than pathetic.....things, like yourself."

[Arhra]

"Silence you presumably tasty bird! Lumaes makes a number of valid points." Arhra said, pausing for a moment to mutter something along the lines of, "Mmmm, roast talking bird. The sapience makes eating it deliciously wicked."

"First let's make a sign so the others can catch up." Using mere hands and sticks to draw signs was not the NPF way. "Indicate!" Arhra shouted, calling upon chaos. A sign burst from the ground, an flashing arrow pointing forwards. She carefully twisted it to point in a certain direction and then boldly cried, "This way!", walking in the direction the sign pointed.

Not far into the jungle, things started getting strange. And not strange just in that it was hot, humid, noisy with animal calls, thickly covered in undergrowth that impeded their ways and filled with a bright, bizarre array of plants and the occaisional beast.

Shred their skin... Roots drag them down... teeth rip flesh... crush their bones... snare them... strangling vines... blood seeps in loam... claw them open...

No, it was more the creepy whispering voice that echoed in the ears of some, seeming to rise and fall in intensity. The entire jungle seemed to have a malign air, roots tripping them up, branches scratching at their faces and animals watching them, eyes glowing faintly in the darkness. Arhra turned around, cheerfully blithe to the hateful murmurings and impedance, "Is something the matter?" she asked, looking at the people affected.

* * *

Back at the manor things also didn't seem to be going well. When Syttulg tried to make his move, Bruticus shot him. He shot him right in the battery. The man definately seemed to be a little trigger happy. Or, more probably, he just liked shooting people.

The lesson here was trying anything suspicious when a gunman with no particular qualms against shooting you had a gun pointed at you was none too smart. Everyone knows least need some sort of dramatic distraction is needed and even that isn't necessarily very effective against the more skilled.

The Capitalist sighed and glanced at Skyshot and Steel, "I would suggest that if you care for the lives of your companions, you convince them to just leave. Quite frankly I'd prefer to avoid cleaning up the mess. Well, avoid ordering minions to clean up the mess. This isn't making me enough money to be worth the headache." What money might there be in it you ask? Why harvesting the corpses' organs and selling them on the black market of course.

OOC: Incidentally, everyone should decide where they are. The group still at the manner seems to be composed of just Skyshot, Pyros, Newb and Steel unless one or more of them have decided to leave. I'm assuming everyone else is with Arhra at the edge of the plantation. You will only hear the freaky voices and seem to have the jungle out to get you if you didn't eat the food. If you haven't said anything about it yet, you should decide now.

[GARUD]

Garud wandered along next to Arhra when he heard something.

"Oy, did you people hear that?"

"*mmmfff* No Garud, I *SHLOOORP* didn't. I think u crazy."

"Thorque, are you eating that guy's stat enhancing food?"

"Only the ones that reduce my brain-thinky score!"

"Explains alot."

Garud felt the urge for combat so he summoned his BOC. He felt the forrest's power. There were alot of shadows around so it was very easy for him to fight. It was good territory. Also, he was bad one-to-one being a mage-based character, but the terain was bade for hit and run.

"Arhra, stand back. If you don't hear that, then run. It's gonna get ugly."

[Bailey]

Syttulg fell from Pyros' shoulders and hurriedly directed his nannites to prevent leakage from his battery.

"OW! I was just trying to make his leg work so we could leave!"

[Steel Shadow]

Things were taking a bad turn, and it didn't seem like the captialist was going to give Steel anything for saving his life (even if it had been unintentional. Still, Steel was the only one who remembered anything about the non-existant timeline, so that didn't matter). And now his pet giant had shot the most infamously insane god on the face of the planet and seemed quite content to do so again. Something needed to be done.
Steel cautiously looked around. Bruticus was to far away to attack with his already eratic powers, as was the capitalist. Most of the forumites were long gone. Negotiation didn't really seem to be an option. Runing away was awfully tempting.
"I'm... sure... we... can... all... come... to... some... agreement." He said slowly, using as many elipses as he could. Talking any quicker would probably be rewarded by a bullet, and unlike certain gods and androids, Steels body was quite fragile.

[POS Industries]

Somehow, Rei had gotten popcorn.

Now, it's not impossible that she activated a small hyperlink portal through which the bag of hot, buttery popcorn was delivered, but that would be too easy, a total abuse of powers, and just way too godmoddy altogether. It's also possible that she had that popcorn the whole time, or that one of the POS Industries stormtroopers had given it to her. Frankly, the truth is that The Unholy God of Plotholes (not to be confused with Pennsylvanius, the Unholy God of Potholes) had willed that popcorn suddenly be in her possession for no goddamn good reason and you all shouldn't question it. The Plothole God is an old, nameless god and is not to be trifled with.

Anyway, Rei watched as the random splinter group of NPFers attempted to deal with Bruticus, the hired goon of doom, and munched away on her bag of popcorn, not at all concerned with the question of why an android would have any desire or ability to consume food, but rather curious as to why a large man with a gun is in any way a threat to any of them.

She concluded that the Unholy God of Plotholes had something to do with this as well.

[Darth SS]

Darth had eaten, so he felt pretty good. Thus, he was moon-walking behind Arhra.

OOC: Yes, I know. Filler. Wait until inspiration hits, when ah gets mah juice.

[mauve]

Kill them... spill their blood.... death... tear flesh from bone... return to dust and earth...

Mauve's fingers wrapped slowly around the hilts of her knives. The voices seemed to come from nowhere, and at the same time, from everywhere around her. It wasn't that she minded the added conversation. It was the TOPIC of conversation that wore upon her nerves.

Strangle them... blood shall water the earth like rainfall... Shatter their bones...

Add to this the fact that the plantlife itself seemed keen to act upon these suggestions, tripping her, slashing across her face and catching her skirts.

A stray branch landed on her shoulder. Mauve, startled, slapped it away with a strangled yelp.

"Well," she said to no one in particular. "This is annoying."

Hoping to show the forest just who was in charge, Mauve raised a hand and engulfed it in magical flames. This she carried like a lantern-slash-handgun, hoping to keep the plants at bay.