8-bit fanfics

[reality-is-a-variable]

Seran, your story depresses me. Even the funny bits depress me. I'm not sure why, I wasn't sad until i read your story but now it appears that I am. It's good, in fact its great. It just makes me really really unhappy. In a sort of "everything's hopeless" kind of way. Did you do this on purpose?

P.S. What does it matter though, keep writing them.

[Seran]

I write depressing, I draw depressing, I empathize with depressing. I can see what you mean. Everyone has a different eye for different aspects in a story.

I would write another part, but it's the morning and I don't have forty to fifty minutes to type it out.

[dark butterfree]

Urge to congratulate further... Rising...
I seriously can't wait for the next one. I normally hate fanfics, but your one fuels the evil withing me.
I could totally destroy San Antonio right about now. You shall get half of the spoils.
Seriously, Japan is next when you make the next one.

[Seran]

Dark Butterfree, I never mentioned I think I'm attracted by your evil avatar. I always liked to depict Fighter in an evil Snake Kenshido mood like I had once done in the Arts and Crafts section...

+++

Fighter failed to show any, and absolutely, any sign of response at all. He was motionless, his gaze fixed on the waters below, his silence overwhelming and strangely peaceful, even as Thief swam up and sat by him. Red Mage had been furiously wiping tears from his eyes, and he was not sure, but he thought he had even seen Red Mage plunge his head into the water for a moment. He had thought he had seen it out of the corner of his eye. Yet, he showed no signs of change in his silence as Black Mage even sunk beneath the surface and never again rose. By then, he could hear White Mage shouting from a distance.
"Someone help him, he's going to drown!"
"That's ironic," Thief said with his eyes looking upon where Black Mage had disappeared. "Wasn't she the first one to -- RM?" He glanced over to where Red Mage previously was, but saw that he was suddenly gone. He glanced out to the river to see Red Mage mimicking the controlled movements of him swimming, and saw him dive underwater for a mere few seconds. The water leapt with the shaking earth, and the branches of the tree above Fighter trembled in its wake. There tremor was steadily becoming greater in strength, and all Thief could do was glance around in confusion. The line of Fighter's fishing pole ducked, and he quickly noticed, pushing himself hurriedly to his feet as something started pulling him towards the water.
"Whoa!" he yelled out with shock. Some massive marine creature was jerking his fishing pole away -- along with him, that is! Thief rose to his feet, watching Fighter being pulled closer to the edge of the river, and took no time to dive forward, grab the fishing pole, and with all of his agility, try to pull it back. The creature was obviously massive though. There was no way the two of them alone would have been able to pull up whatever the fish was!
"If this thing can stop itself from being fished out," Thief said to Fighter, "it must hold a lot of value. Pull, human, pull for the sake of yourself and your elven leader!"
"I didn't get what you said, but okay, I'm pulling!"
Fighter threw himself back, nearly forcing his spine out, but he was using all of his strength in an attempt to reclaim his fishing line and the fish he had caught. Red Mage appeared at the surface, with a Black Mage who had finally found air on his back. Black Mage clung to Red Mage's neck while Red Mage elegantly swung his arms out, his legs paddling gently which took him at a slower, more easy pace.
"Did you see that?" Red Mage called out to them, forgetting all about his character sheet and its copies. "There's this giant -- this giant thing underwater, did any of you see it!"
"No!" Thief replied in answer.
"When I say giant, I mean it! This thing is huge. Are you sure you didn't see it?"
"How far down were you?"
"All the way down to the ocean floor, baby!"
"That probably explains why you saw it!" Black Mage shouted crossly.
"Get over here and help us!" Fighter was only able to respond, his eardrums straining not to burst from the inside as he tried even harder to pull the fish out. But all that happened was that they were being pulled even closer to the edge of the water. "Crap! This thing's gonna eat us alive, isn't it!"
"Well, I --"
"Isn't it!"
"Fighter, it's probably just going t --"
"We're done for!"
"Then why don't you let go?"
Thief did this, and Fighter stared at him in actual bewilderment.
"Are you crazy? A fighter never stops trying until the very, very last moment when they really need to!"
"And don't you consider this to be your very, very last moment when you need to?"
Fighter looked at his fishing pole for a moment, and was suddenly pulled into the air. He was sent flying for a moment over the river, before the creature pulled him in. Where he had submerged, many great bubbles that were possibly his choked screams popped at the surface. Thief watched as Red Mage glanced around uneasily, then suddenly be forced into motion like something was pulling him underwater by the leg. Black Mage's eyes were wide and wary like a frightened animal, and when Red Mage went down into the cold depths, he went down into the cold depths.

[Kima Azure]

Whoa. *Covers Seran with chocolate dip.* There you go, a Seran cookie!

[Robert Paulson]

BlackMage got himself up after coming to terms with being unable to stab Fighter to death yet again, but before anyone could say anything, Thief appeared, carrying bags and pockets full of gil. The Elf Prince opened with, "This town is crazy. I didn't even have to try to pickpocket anyone, they just gave money to me, even weirder, it was only the women who gave me money. They kept handing me money, expecting, shall I say, favors from me, all because of my Elven blood. I've never seen this behavior before, then again, it makes sense, humans recognizing their superiors, but it was just the women though. They all kept handing me gil, saying, 'make love to me, dreamy Elf man!'" Fighter then said, "You've been making money, too? That makes two of us!"

At that precise moment, RedMage appeared in all of his pretentious glory. He started a speech, "Gentlemen, you're just in time. I spoke with the item shopkeeper of this town, and he had a favor to ask of us. Seems he left some valuables behind in a nearby forest, and he wants us to retrieve them." "What sorts of valuables are we talking about?" Thief asked. "Good question, Thief!" RedMage said. He continued, "Seems he left behind his reading glasses and some reading material. He wouldn't specify what reading material, he just said if you find some glasses with some books, bring them back to him. Thief, as the leader of our outfit, do you agree to carryout this sidequest?" Thief response was, "Sure. Anything to get me away from these Elf-crazy women." "Then it's settled!" RedMage exclaimed. Fighter took this opportunity to tell the good news, "Hey RedMage and Thief, you wanna know what I did just now?" BlackMage interrupted, "Please don't. I don't want to be reminded!" Fighter ignored BlackMage and said, "I went to this inventor's guild, I showed them my swordchucks, and now they're gonna make a whole lotta swordchucks, and sell them all around the world, and I get money for each swordchuck sold! Aren't I the greatest?" RedMage pondered and murmured to himself, "Inventor's guild you say." Then, without warning, RedMage held out his right hand, with his index finger pointed at Fighter and asked in a dramatic overtone, "Was the receptionist a young woman with brown pigtails, large bosoms and bright-blue eyes!?" Fighter was befuddled by the question, and answered, "Um, no. It was just this guy, and he," RedMage then added, "Oh. I must be thinking of a different inventor's guild. Nevermind."

After the conversation, Thief told the group, "Well then, we best be going to the nearest forest, to see about securing the shopkeeper's valuables." And then he whispered to himself with a smirk on his face, "Oh, we'll be securing those valuables alright. suckers!" RedMage then stated, "Let us be off!" And Fighter ended with, "Onward and upward!" Thief, RedMage, and Fighter began to walk off, but BlackMage stayed. Fighter asked, "BlackMage, are you coming with us?" BlackMage was distracted from his daydream involving himself and WhiteMage. He told, "Oh, um, yeah. I'll be along with you guys in just a moment." BlackMage then began to follow the other Light Warriors, but he kept his distance. Once they got out of town, BlackMage noticed that the others were walking in a single-file line, with Fighter in front, RedMage in the middle, and Thief in the rear. He realized, now was his chance. Now was his best chance to finally do away with these numbskulls, once, and for all! he thought to himself. He placed his hands in front of him, with both ends of his palms connected to each other, and shouted at the top of his lungs, "HADOKEN!" A blast of bluish-white light shot forth from his hands, heading towards the other Light Warriors. Thief, with his innate Elven senses, somehow saw the Hadoken coming for him, and he jumped out of the way just in time. RedMage also leaped away, yelling, "Reflex save!" In doing so. Fighter didn't see it coming, and was hit by the Hadoken blast. He fell down, unconscious. He looked dead. BlackMage looked and thought, well, one out of three ain't too bad, but he also saw that the Light Warrior he hit was Fighter. Joy overtook him. He started jumping around, his beady eyes closed in a jovial display, and began saying, "I did it! I finally killed Fighter! After all these years! Yes! YES!" But just then, Fighter slowly got back on his feet, his body smoldering from the Hadoken blast. He looked around in a daze, and said to himself, "Did I get shot by evil magic just now?" BlackMage stopped celebrating, seeing that his efforts were in vain yet again. RedMage told Fighter, "Thank the 16-bit Sprites for your high constitution rating. I should warn you, BlackMage is confused! He thinks we're his enemy. I don't know how or who or why, but he's in a state of confusion! Luckily, I know how to cure his status ailment." RedMage went up to BlackMage, who was now enraged seeing as how he wasted all that destructive power for nothing. RedMage did a gesture with his hand, pointed at BlackMage, and exclaimed, "Esuna!" A column of white light appeared around BlackMage, then disappeared. BlackMage couldn't understand. He questioned RedMage, "What in the Hells was that for?" RedMage responded, "You were confused, but I cured you. All is well know." BlackMage threw his arms up in disgust and said, "Are you dense? I wasn't confused. I shot that Hadoken out of my own free will." RedMage was aghast. He said out loud, "Merciful DM! He's still confused! My white magic can't save him! Quickly everyone, flee from him! Flee until his status effect wears off!" And with that, Thief, RedMage, and Fighter took off full-tilt in the opposite direction of where BlackMage was standing. Fighter yelled as they were running, "Don't take this the wrong way, BlackMage. We still love you!" BlackMage knelt down. Insanity had overtaken him once more. He began mumbling the words of a famous general, "I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate . . ."

The End. For now.

[Seran]

Marvelous! The quotes could have been seperated by different lines, but at least each one was clarified by whomever was speaking each one. I enjoyed reading this, very humorous. Your story seems to focus on the torturing of Black Mage's feelings and luck, and that makes it even funnier!

[Robert Paulson]

I do try to maintain the spirit of 8-bit Theater, as in: Fighter is a happy-go-lucky goofball, BlackMage gets continually shafted over and over, Thief is, well, Thief, RedMage knows just a little too much about RPGs, and I make fun of just about anything I can think of, mostly videogames. If I do a part three, (which I might.) You can rest assured that BlackMage will be tortured yet again. As for everyone else, you'll have to wait and see.

[dark butterfree]

wewt for you both. wewt i say! WEWT!
and thanx for the compliment Seran. my avatar came about as the result of me mixing ninja sprites with fighter sprites. then adding swords.
once again, wewt.

[reality-is-a-variable]

*Is confused* Was.... was that the end of your story Seran? I don't think so..... but maybe it's one of those strange endings that has no closure and just ends with death. Or perhaps your washing machine broke? Hopefully the second one. God what I wouldn't give for your writing skills.