Gettin' All Emo Up In Here!

[Nique]

Granted, it helps if your love also happens to be a hot gamer. Damn, I'm lucky.

I reject the notion that romantic love is ever completely altrustic You have to see some value in the other person. I guess video games are a better foundation for marriage than, say, money?

Well, let's assume for a moment that your referring to the kind of love that would apply toward a relationship.

That unessecerily limits the love shown in a marriage/ monogamous relationship. In a marriage situation, your spouse becomes everything to you - they have earned your respect as a person (agape), they become your friend (philia), they quite literally enter into your family circle (storge), and you want to do the bedroom thing with them (eros).

Maybe we could invent a 5th catergory, for 'love of video games', although I think this should fall under agape, becuase everyone should love video games.

[scott wegener]

Originally Posted by Tydeus

Like, for instance, my friend Beverly, who cheats relentlessly on her boyfriend, yet insists that she is, in fact, in love with him. She's definitely a strange one, no doubt about it.

I'm too old to take this terribly seriously. But yet here I am, because at the end of the day I am a romantic sucker.

Just to get Beverly out of the way; One word comes to mind, but the mods will shut this down if I use it. And Bev's b/f needs to grow a pair and move on. Cheating on someone repeatedly shows a complete lack of respect for the other person and a disregard for their feelings. Not what I'd call love.

In real life it is a RARE person indeed who can be in mulitple relationships or have multiple partners and still be classified as mentally healthy. 99% of the time they have suffered some sort of sexual trauma and this is how they cope with it. Its really kind of sad, though it also envokes anger because of the other people being hurt by it.

Back to Love though -I don't think you can define it. I love my cat, I love my wife, I love my daughter. I wouldn't step in front of a bus to save the cat, but definitly for the other two.

I think a decent general clause for defining love would be one's willingness to suffer for the thing they love. Suffering can be defined by anything from stepping in fromt of that bus, or going to the company christmas party that you dread because you know it will make the otehr person happy that you are there with them.

[Fifthfiend]

Originally Posted by scott wegener

Just to get Beverly out of the way; One word comes to mind, but the mods will shut this down if I use it.

I can almost promise that is not the case.

[POS Industries]

Love means constantly having to say you're sorry.

[Muffin Mage]

I've got to say, overall, that love is your subconscious' way of telling you that you aren't screwing up, which is broad enough to cover all the bases you could possibly need.

[Krylo]

Originally Posted by scott wegener

In real life it is a RARE person indeed who can be in mulitple relationships or have multiple partners and still be classified as mentally healthy. 99% of the time they have suffered some sort of sexual trauma and this is how they cope with it. Its really kind of sad, though it also envokes anger because of the other people being hurt by it.

Unless you're extremely stringent in your classifications for mentally healthy, this is simply not the case.

- About 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in some marriage
"Monogamy Myth", Therapist Peggy Vaugn

And, honestly, she's one of the lower figures. On, "The Science of Sex" on TLC they gave figures of about 80% for men, and 70% for women.

Granted, the numbers that actually ADMIT to it on surveys rank closer to the 20% range, but, really, very few people are willing to admit to something like that, even on an anonymous survey. It'd be like asking a frat boy if he's ever experienced homosexual urges.

Having multiple partners is, actually, hard coded into our genetics from the very beginnings of humanity. It is rather society that inflicts upon us the belief that cheating is wrong.

Those who had multiple partners years and years ago were the ones who got their genes out. Therefore, from the first time a human man and woman got to bumping ugly, the genes that create the desire for sex with multiple people have been passed on more often and in greater numbers than those which do not. It's also believed that this is the very reason that humans ENJOY sex.

Though, I suppose the history/genetics lesson isn't nearly as important as the statistics showing that over half of everyone ever will commit adultery.

As for the actual subject: Figure it out for your own damn selves. It's more fun that way.

[BlackMageGirl!]

Originally Posted by krylo

As for the actual subject: Figure it out for your own damn selves. It's more fun that way.

Rather, it's the only way you'll really LEARN what love is. 'cause for each person it's a different thing, some completely different alltogether. :B

[Dynamite220]

I shall now come out of the perverbial woodwork to make a few comments, and to those who remember me, no, there is no rhyme or reason to the timing here.

I don't personaly believe that I have experienced true love as of yet, of if I did, I didn't know what it was, so I don't pretend to understand it personally, but from my reading, I came across this deffinition, which is one of my favorites.

"Love is a state in which your own happiness is dependant on the safety and happiness of others." -R. A. Heinlein

That's acctualy part of what made me like him as an author.

[Nique]

Having multiple partners is, actually, hard coded into our genetics from the very beginnings of humanity. It is rather society that inflicts upon us the belief that cheating is wrong.

I kind of take issue with this sort of blanket statment. I can just as easily say that the moral degradation of society is what has cuased spouses to cheat on each other, can't I? Or, that the only thing actually hardcoded into our genes is the desire/need for sex. I don't know how you'd prove something further than that, considering how many attempts at monogamous relationships there are, even if they aren't always successful... and how painful it can be to the partner who has been cheated on? How is that biologically beneficial?

PLUS! There are so many other more likely reasons that people cheat on each other - a sizable portion of these reasons do not reflect healthy social interactions. Lack of communication, withholding sex from your partner as a means of punishment, abuse (physical or emotional). I mean, yeah, let's face it, people are kind of messed up. But just becuase something is the norm doesn't mean it's good or healthy, or even that it is 'hard-coded' into our genes.

Some animals mate for life... many humans do that too. Yes, Humans kind of cover the board when it comes to types of romantic relationships, but why attribute that to anything more than our unique capability of free will? To create our own unique desires?

[Demetrius]

If you wish to go that route I think it is clearer to say that we are encoded to stay together so we have a partner to raise and care for the child, not pop out offspring at random and have the babes die. Human babies are hardly self sufficient, so genetics, to ensure the survival of the next generation would make a family unit to care for and raise the child.