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Unread 01-07-2010, 06:16 PM   #21
Toastburner B
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Bard: I like it, if only because it reminded me of this. Approved.

Fantabulate: Approved, with one nitpick: Could you lose the whole “son becomes an immortal” thing? Really, undead and immortals are usually hunted down as soon as they are discovered, and Death keeps a close eye on contract terms, so, really, he wouldn’t of had much of a chance to get away with it. Other than that, it looks good.


Alright, we got enough people to kick off. We’ll start things off tomorrow, and I’ll keep sign-ups open until then.
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Unread 01-07-2010, 06:40 PM   #22
Menarker
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Just out of curiousity, is the setting of the current plot ultimately in the late 2000s? (Since your sample character died in 2008). Or is there a good deal of time travel or such to deal with the phantasms and spirits of the past years that did not get collected or so? Cause I imagine culture clashes and technology incompatibilities would be a crucial aspect of most agents if they work for long periods of time, leading toward the future.

Dunno if I'm actually joining... but if I do, I know my character's term of contract is to have the character's most hated nemesis die horribly after a HILARIOUS AND PAINFULLY EXTENDED HUMILIATION CONGA performed right in front of the character's dead spirit to soothe his grudge. :3
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Unread 01-07-2010, 06:51 PM   #23
Fantabulate
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Ah, see, That wasn't made clear in the opening. I thought Immortals were powerful beings who tended to remain hidden and untouched. If they don't last a long time, can they really be called "immortal"? I would call them... IDK. XD

I'll change that about my guy shortly. Unfortuneately, that means he needs a new back-story.
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Unread 01-07-2010, 07:02 PM   #24
Red Mage Black
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I feel bad for that character. The Charge of the Light Brigade, ouch.
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Unread 01-07-2010, 07:42 PM   #25
Toastburner B
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Menarker: The plot is set in modern day, no time travel.

Fantab: Usually, that would be true, but it's rather impossible for some who is part of the "terms" for an Agent's deal. Because of said contract, Death would have some of his lesser minions, a normal reaper or something like that, keep an eye on your character's son, as his well being was part of the terms of the contract. As such, when he went Immortal, he would already be being tracked by Death, who would not be inclinded to let him be an Immortal long enough to be a problem when he could just dispatch an Agent and nip the problem in the bud. So, while it is true that most Immortals that Agents end up hunting live long times by keeping off the radar, your character's son would of already been on the radar when he went Immortal, and as such, extremely easy for Death to find and deal with.

See where I'm coming from?
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Unread 01-07-2010, 07:43 PM   #26
Bard The 5th LW
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Yes, tis' quite a pity, being forced on that doomed charge. At least he had a god poem about himself.

And I thought his terms were actually pretty creative. Maybe, Fantabulate, you can make a reason for him to work beyond his deal, rather than change his backstory.
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Unread 01-07-2010, 08:05 PM   #27
Fantabulate
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Yes, I see where you're coming from ToastBurner. Just made the changes. Does that work now?

Oh, yes, he's read that many times :p

Cannons to the left of them... Cannons to the right of them... Cannons behind them... All the world wondered why death would show up and make a deal with someone there, of all places!

Thank you, Bard! I appreciate your support of the creative writing art in this country! Either way, I changed it around a bit so he's still within the terms, and the nitpick is settled. More or less.
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Last edited by Fantabulate; 01-07-2010 at 08:08 PM.
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Unread 01-07-2010, 08:50 PM   #28
Toastburner B
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Yeah, that's good Fantab. Though, just FYI (not an official nit-pick), Death doesn't really care if you drop in on people you knew when you're an Agent, as long as it doesn't get in the way of the job.
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Unread 01-09-2010, 03:27 PM   #29
Bard The 5th LW
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I just noticed something after reading over the character sheets, I have the same weapon as Red Mage Black. While I could ignore it, and have my character make a 'great minds think alike' comment, I would rather change it. Is that alright Toastburner?
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Unread 01-09-2010, 06:19 PM   #30
Dauntasa
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Sorry I was so late in posting, and that my first one was so short, but I've been having a lot of Internet related troubles, as well as Exams coming up. I'll try and keep up with this.
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