8-bit fanfics

[CelebrenIthil]

I don't think it's the end, no...
But I'm really addicted to all Seran's stories! ^^

Now, let me panic a little!

AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH RED MAGE NOOOOOOOOOO DON'T DROOOOWWWWWNNNNNNN!!!!!! O.o
((or get eaten by some giant...underwater...meanie-thing...))

As for i_am_the_red_mage; your story was...interesting. Tough it ends weirdly. XD

[Seran]

"This is...an awkward situation," Thief commented quietly to himself, peering over the edge of the shore. Oh, woe to those who were surely drowning beneath the water. He stared intently at the spot where Red Mage and Black Mage and disappeared, glanced to the spot where bubbles were still rising up from below, and shifted his gaze to a screaming White Mage, whose shouts had become quite indistinct. "Now who'll help me support payment for me and Elfland?" He was not daring to be curious. No, surely he would be dragged down with the others if he even tried. Looking at Black Mage's knife -- which was laying on the ground the whole time -- he considered whether or not he should find someone else to put under contract, or at least discover some way of rescuing the others. Which would thusly prove why he was their elven leader.
Below the water, all was cold, murky, and foreboding. The drowning three flailed around wildly in the water, blind and unable to see a thing. Fighter was only sinking farther to the bottom of the river, for his armor was too heavy for him to struggle his way back to the surface, and he was panicking wildly. Red Mage was caught in his own cloak, and he had absolutely no idea that Black Mage was still clinging to him like...erm...super glue!

+++
Curper: Hold on, hold on. Super glue?
Seran: I'm losing my touch. Shut up.
Curper: Just because I'm a knight doesn't mean I don't have feelings! Pfft....
+++

Getting past the interruption, Black Mage was clinging tightly to Red Mage, thereby pinning Red Mage's cloak to his own face. This prevented Red Mage from seeing anything, even the glow of golden light that seeped into existence out of nowhere. A great glow of light, much larger than them, and a high-pitched cry of some wild, underwater beast that was obviously ready to consume them with its massive, invisible jaws. Red Mage beat wildly at the water, trying not to scream his head off like Fighter was. Black Mage trembled in the cold depths, wishing he could swim. He glanced to and fro, looking for some way of getting back to the surface. He watched Fighter quickly drift on by, sinking towards the darkest part of the deep river. He was surprised the river actually was that deep, but he felt the joy in watching Fighter die first. But before the joy came the feeling of horror as a giant, black figure arose from below, its massive size easily proving to be far more larger than any ridiculous giant, its gigantic form appearing like the shadow of the apocalypse ready to claim its first victims. Black Mage could easily see Fighter screaming even more, then start choking in the water, flailing around even more. Obviously, Fighter was to die first.
All of a sudden, they were being pushed back up to the surface, back up to the light. The pressure of the water crushed their bodies against the cold, scaly skin of the enormous beast as it forced them back up to the top of the river, its piercing call ringing out to the darkness around them. Its voice echoed and lasted in their ears for a long time, muffled by the water and the rush of them being pushed to the surface. Red Mage stopped kcking, face down against the monster's head as Fighter clung to its neck, suffocating while water flodded his lungs, and Black Mage still clinging to Red Mage for dear life. Bubbles rushed by, and they steadily came closer to the light above. It was not too far now. The water felt warmer the higher they ascended, and the sun beamed down upon them as they were flung out of the water.

"Hey, look," Thief remarked, pointing at them rather cheerfully. His hand was on White Mage's shoulder. White Mage had thought, for a moment, that they were all doomed, one death partially her fault. She glanced up to see Red Mage and Black Mage spinning in the air, then landing on the shore. Fighter had climbed out as quickly as he was able to, his head limping, his lungs forcing out water in violent, uncontrolled coughs. "They're not dead after that. Wait, what's that?" A large hill rose from the water, smooth and grey. A giant water serpent rose from the river, its tall neck towering over all of them, rising high in the air like a giant, fabled beast that was illustrated only in fairy tales. Its body was more visible in the more shallow parts of the water, hidden only by the river's current. Giant flippers stretched out, waving elegantly in the current, and it turned its great, flat head down to Red Mage, who was sitting up, staring to the skies where the beast's yellow eyes were. The creature's head descended from high above, and Red Mage could clearly see its flat teeth and it opened its jaws for some reason.
"You left this behind," the creature said in a deep, powerful voice that nearly pushed him over with a marine breath. As it spoke, a sheet of paper suddenly slipped out from its mouth, dry and drifting. Red Mage watched it come to him for a moment, then quickly snatched the paper and looked at it.
"Stop holding onto me," Red Mage said bluntly. "It doesn't feel right."
"Oh, sorry," Black Mage answered, releasing his anxious grip on Red Mage, and tumbling down onto the ground. "What's that?"
"It's...it's..."
Red Mage leapt up into the air in a traditional victory dance.
"By the merciful gods, it's my character sheet!"
Black Mage immediately burned it. Red Mage stopped jumping up and down in victory, staring at his scorched hand.
"Hah, not anymore."
The sea serpent's head swayed rather playfully in response.
"You also forgot this," it said, spitting out another paper and some dice into Red Mage's hand. He glanced down at the dice, then reached up and caught the paper. It was a copy of his character sheet.
"In your face, BM!" he shouted happily, punching his hands into the air with a different dance. "Go karma! Go karma!"
Fighter sat up, coughing hard still, but as the serpent looked towards him apologetically, he said, "I think I'll call you Nessie."
"Oh, that's nice of you," it said with a mild blink.
"Just think of the possibilities!" Thief exclaimed to himself, standing upon the bridge next to White Mage. "All the money we could get through this water snake!"

[CelebrenIthil]

Brilliant! Everyone is SO in-character! ^^

Heheheh, I like the sea serpent, he's nice.
*pats sea serpent*
((Mummy I want one too!!!)):whee:

Heh, I wonder what will happen next, but at least Red Mage isn't going to go in another psychotic fit because he has lost his character sheet. ^^
Heheheh.

Oh wait.
*slaps BM behind the head*

You ungrateful...!!!

[dark butterfree]

it could easily end there. but if it does...
*brandishes fist*
nessie, eh... where have i heard that before... as if i don't know...
so why did i say that...
...
MAKE MORE!

[Seran]

Loch Ness, yo.
Well, that is the end of the story...

...but if you feel like reading more for the hell of it, just head on down to the Fanstories thread.

[reality-is-a-variable]

*cries for this truly is.....*

THE END

[dark butterfree]

oh well, better to quit while you're ahead then... ummm... not... do... stuff...
great work.

[0.0man]

One day in a place far far away from the world of 8-bit theater


:bmage: fighter, what are you doing?
:fighter: Talking to this guy
Hey isn't that the kid I drove insane and tortured?
0.0man no, i'm his brother's father
So your the kid I drove insane's father?
Basically, so now I'm here for revenge.
:thief: *steals from 0.0man* What the, I got nothing!!!
Of course you didn't! I like swords!
All: -_-
:rmage: I have a +20 in job knowing! He's an onion kid! but his costume is a funny color...
Fool, I'm an Onion Man! And you can't steal from me! I'm anti-thief! *notices hand is being moved on paper*
Not for long! You just signed my "you owe me everything you own" contract!
*stabs with twin onion swords*
Thanks, now can you stab Fighter?
I like swords!I like swords!I like swords!I like swords!I like swords!I like swords!I like swords!I like swords!I like swords!I like swords!I like swords!I like swords!
Sure *stabs*
thanks! HADOKEN! *hadokens 0.0man
*stabs BM
I have a +99 in fooling myself, I mean, fooling idiots!
To be continued...

[Robert Paulson]

Fighter, RedMage and Thief were now in the forest, looking for the shopkeeper's belongings. Fighter's armor, face and hair were still singed from BlackMage's Hadoken. He reached for his pen and journal, and began writing an entry.

"Fighter's private jurnal. Don't read unless if your Fighter like me!
Today RedMage said we had to go into a forest and look for some guy's books. Thief agreed to it, and now we're on a real sidequest! BlackMage didn't come though. Instead, he shot magic at me! I got hit very hard and fell down. Then I got back up. RedMage said that BlackMage was confused and thought we were monsters. We had no choice but to run away and look for the books without BlackMage. I hope BlackMage doesn't take this the wrong way, but I'm sure he wont, since we've been friends for so long. Can't write anymore though. I think Thief found something. Okay bye!"

Thief had spotted what they were looking for; eight books and some reading glasses. He asked the group, "Why would someone leave behind things like these in a forest?" He picked up one of the books and looked through it. He observed, "Hmm, there aren't any words. It's all drawings of human women without any clothes on. But where are the Elven women? This is pathetic! Look how flawed these humans look! It hurts my eyes just looking at it!" Fighter looked through another book, "Hey, this book's about the same thing! Too bad I can't find any sword-wielding babes in here." He breathed a sigh, thinking about his ideal women. RedMage then said, "Alright! We got what we came for! Now then, let us return to the town and return these items, and who knows? We just might get a reward for this." Thief then commented, "As contractual leader, I will carry the goods, and return them myself." With the books and glasses in hand, Thief started heading back, with Fighter and RedMage in tow, but just then, a trio of spiders appeared. Dread filled within Fighter. Normally, he would've drawn his sword-chucks or his trusty blades Stabby and Slashy and be done with the monsters, but Fighter didn't have it in him. Spiders were the very bane of his existence, and he did the only thing he could do. he ran. He ran like it was a matter of life or death. He was yelling, "IT'S THE END OF CIVILIZED LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!" Thief and RedMage were close behind. RedMage added, "Although we're missing out on precious experience, it does get tiring to fight in every random encounter we have."

Meanwhile, back on the outskirts of town, BlackMage was still not thinking clearly. He remembered how sometimes RedMage spoke of a renegade general. He couldn't remember this general's name, but he could remember the quotes that RedMage attributed to this general, and that was all BlackMage could say. At the moment, he kept saying over and over, mantra-like, "I command the greatest power in the universe. You are all helpless before me." As he was reciting this, something caught his eye. It was the only thing left in the world that he didn't find repulsive; the visage of WhiteMage. He snapped out of his insanity, and approached her. He started, "Run, run, or you'll be well done, er, I meant, hey there WhiteMage!" WhiteMage glared at BlackMage, saying, "You disgust me, BlackMage. How you of all people are one of the chosen Warriors of Light is beyond even my reasoning." BlackMage then said, "That's a funny story actually, you see," At that moment, BlackMage suddenly looked away, and began talking, but not to WhiteMage, "What do you think you're doing? She's standing RIGHT THERE! And you're not the least bit interested in making ferocious love with her?" He paused, and continued in a different tone, "Well, uh, you know that feeling the mindless plebes call love? I think I'm experiencing that right now." WhiteMage stood astonisted, asking, "BlackMage?" BlackMage then shouted to himself, "Love!? You're the freakin' BlackMage! You've no time for distractions like 'love!' You're supposed to be planning to conquer the known world!" BlackMage then turned to WhiteMage, and said to her, "I'm sorry you had to see that. You've every right to question my status as a Light Warrior. I know, I used to use those nasty pickup lines on you, and I used to try to kill everyone I came into contact with, but now, I know what I really want." He paused, then exclaimed, "Let's kill off everyone except each other! We'll start the human race anew, as king and queen of Corneria, and beyond! Whadya say, huh?" WhiteMage looked down for a moment, then held her head up high, and answered, "Coming from you, that's really sweet. But my place is with the Order of WhiteMages." BlackMage said, "Then let's do away with the Order! You won't have to live chaste anymore!" WhiteMage replied, "Thanks, but, I can't. I'm not like you, BlackMage, and if you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to." With that, WhiteMage left BlackMage. He shouted to her, "Don't leave me WhiteMage! You're all I've got!" Then, BlackMage began talking to himself again. He said, "You offered her a place in your new world order? You weakling!" He took his right hand and slapped himself across the face.

Fighter had reached the edge of the forest, hopefully clear from the hideous spiders forever. RedMage and Thief caught up soon after. Just then, WhiteMage showed up. She said, "Hello, Warriors. I ran into BlackMage just now, he was acting very strangely." RedMage then commented, "BlackMage? Yes. You should know, someone, or something, put him into a state of confusion, causing him to mistake us for monsters. Why, did he fire high-level magic at you?" WhiteMage answered, "No, but, we wasn't his usual sacreligious self." Fighter told, "Hey WhiteMage, you wanna know what I did earlier?" Thief then told, "While you're all catching up on old times, I'll go into the town and return these items." He walked off, bearing a devilish grin in doing so. He got into the town, but at the precise moment he did, a townswoman shouted, "Oh ye gods, it's that sexy hunk of Elf meat!" Thief was being chased by countless young girls, and he ran to the item shop. He got in just in time. The shopkeeper was there, as always. Thief said, "I'm a friend of the red wizard. I got your books and glasses right here." The shopkeeper breathed a sigh of relief, saying, "Oh thank goodness. No one's found out about my secret stash. Gotta keep that a secret from the misses after all." Thief then replied, "Of course, I'm not giving these back for free. Each of these books must be what, 5000 gil? Eight times five-thousand is 40,000 gil, and these glasses must be at least 10,000 gil, which brings us a total price of 50,000gil." The shopkeeper exclaimed, "50,000? That's robbery!" Thief whispered to himself, "I know." He then told the shopkeeper, "It wasn't easy finding these, so I expect a little payment in return." The shopkeeper reached for his gil, saying, "Alright, here's your filthy money. Now do us a favor and never show your face here again." Thief took the money, then said, "By the way, I'm gonna use your back exit." The shopkeeper asked, "What? Why?" Thief was gone before there was an answer. The Elf had managed to sneak out of town, avoiding the horny fangirls in the process.

"There he is, now." WhiteMage pointed out, referring to BlackMage. RedMage saw BlackMage slap himself. The crimson sorceror stated, "Oh, we shouldn't have. He's attacking himself now! How he's still alive is a miracle!" They approached the mad wizard. BlackMage said to himself, "Stop it! They're looking at us." He looked at the others, and told, "I came to realize something, It's a waste trying to kill you myself, so I'd rather wait and have someone else kill you all instead, except WhiteMage." Fighter then said, "Of course you wouldn't kill us, we're your friends!" BlackMage reached for his dagger, gripping the handle, and thought to himself, keep it up, Fighter. I dare you. Thief came back with his bounty. RedMage questioned, "So, what did we get for our FedEx quest?" Thief answered, "FedEx? I don't get it. Well, he gave us 50,000 gil, nothing more." RedMage exclaimed, "Outstanding! With that much money, we could buy enough Fenix Downs to survive a dungeon crawl, or maybe a-" RedMage continued rambling on. BlackMage didn't listen in. All he was thinking was, someday, someway, they will all perish. BY MY HANDS!

The end. For real this time.

[dark butterfree]

*clapclapclapclapclap*
way to go, i_am_the_red_mage.
great work. seriously.
i still don't get the horny fangirls part, but it was very good!