NPF Avatars: A story of Seals, Tears, and Betrayal

[Darth SS]

Darth pointed at the first flamer who came close enough.

"Dude! Did you hear what that damn n00b just said about your mom? He said that she [editted for graphic sexual content] with retarded naked mole rats!"

The flamer looked at the newb, fire growing around him.

"And he can't spell right either."

The flamer's flaming potential grew. The n00b looked around in terror. Franctically trying to get the heat off of himself, the n00b pointed at a banned member and yelled "H3 541D it first!!!11"

Before Darth's eyes, a small brawl erupted. He prayed that it would grow into a civil war.

[GARUD]

Garud had been batting away flamers and N00bs with his staff at a steady pace. He belted the aiming for the head when suddenly... a dark figure rose up out of the ground, but he seemed to be from Gaia... It was one of the banned, a terrible creature if there was one.

"DO YOU WISH TO DIE? MUTHAFUCKA"

Garud ignored the comment and charged at the monstrosity.

Garud opened up the fight with a blasting zone spell. The spell went wide of its target, but still got a couple of flamers. The Banned one charged up a dark energy, and allowed for two seconds... before he released it. The darkness ripped through the air, and headed toward the demon slayer. The sorceror ducked out of the way, but his cape copped the whole shot.

"You are a tough little bugger aren't ya?"

[Bailey]

Suffice it to say, Newb died. He then got up, clutching his head. He was wearing a dress, and this was fortunate because pants would have made things very uncomfortable, what with his tail and all. The gun seemed to have clattered across the floor. He walked over and picked it up, then sniffed at the air. He smelled a woman nearby. She must be his mother. He would help her. She would be nice to him, and give him hugs, and tea parties. And he would help her. Wasn't he nice? Wasn't she nice? He was certainly helpful. "Hi mommy! What are you doing!? Can I help!?" Each statement seemed almost to be a bark rather than actual speech.

[POS Industries]

"Pe-chan?"

"Yes, Rei?"

"The main reactor systems are coming online, but I'm reading massive ship-wide brownouts caused by an unknown energy drain. Would you like me to reroute the remainder of emergency power to your location? I'd feel just awful if your friend over there happened to die due to his life-support systems shutting down in the middle of the implementation of his cyberorganic enhancements, wouldn't you?"

"Indeed. I honestly don't know where we'd get another hobo, especially at this hour. Proceed, thank you."

"Okeedokee, Pe-chan! Happy to be of service!"

"And when you're happy, Rei, I'm happy, and I'm sure everyone else is, too. Right, everyone?"

"Please... please let me... let me die... please............"

"See? Happy."

"Yay! Thank you soo much, Pe-chan!!!"

[Rhiya Ravenwing]

The cold flames erupting from Dragonsbane’s attack did nothing to affect either giants. Nor did the small brawl do much either, as both were still large enough to resist much of what was happening in their surroundings.

Rhiya whipped around her spiked tail, and managed – just barely – to scratch the godmoder before her. It screamed with rage and slight pain and sent two dark fists pummelling into the chaos diamond dragon’s chest, knocking her stumbling back for a few yards and squashing a few noobs in the process. Sensing an advantage, the Banned leapt forward, tripping Rhiya up in the process. She fell heavily, her body crushing yet more of the oncoming horde, before the Banned was upon her, mithril claws raking jagged sparks into the air as they tried to claw into her diamond flesh. The horrendous screech of metal against diamond rent the air. Rhiya, still blinded, thrashed wildly on the ground, trying to stop the sound.

The banned laughed.

“You foolish woman. You have sacrificed such power in order to mingle with others, when you can have this kind of power. UTTER INVINCIBILITY!” the godmoder roared as he brought both dark fists upward and then down towards Rhiya’s exposed belly, razor claws glinting in the light.

*TINK* Those sharp claws were abruptly halted, and one could see how. Rhiya HAS no vital parts in dragon form.

"You don't.... know the true meaning of... GODMODING!"

Rhiya snarled as she planted both feet onto the Banned's belly and kicked forcefully. The power behind the kick sent him tumbling backwards, and Rhiya immediately grasped the upper hand, leaping onto her fallen foe...

Only to be grappled as the Banned changed shape once more. Suddenly she found herself in the crushing coils of a dark, crystalline serpent. With a shudder, they tightened around her, causing her to gasp at the power of her opponent.

"Like I said," the snake laughed uproariously, "weakling!"

"Not... quite..."
Rhiya closed blinded eyes, focussing carefully. As the coils tightened around her, cracks appeared in her sleek form. Rhiya shuddered with pain, but that only served to sharpen her focus...

On her own molecular structure.

~~

Picture the brilliant, inner red glow of a dragon composed out of a diamond that seemed to pulsate with life. Now, brought closer you see the delicate, interwoven scales that make up the first layer to this deadly creature's body. Closer yet again you notice the fine pockmarks of a scale's fractured beauty.

Then, you notice the fine latticework structure of the scale. The light seems to glow from every single molecule, from every single scale. It was a light that was devoid of light, yet it was still there.

Confused?

Now bring it up to a molecular level. Closely-packed chaos molecules vibrate with barely pent-up energy, eager to release recklessly into the world its power. The vibration is seen as a dark red glow, and yet to some eyes, as bright as the morning sun. They stayed there in orderly fashion, quiescent in this form.

Now, what would happen if these molecules of tightly-packed chaos were to be given consent to freedom?

~~

The Banned's laughter died in his throat. Something weird was happening to his prey. She was.... pulsing.

The explosion was silent, yet everybody heard it. It started as a blinding white light mixed in with all the colours of the rainbow, but pulsed with the deep void of blackness too. Then, as it expanded, everything turned crystal clear.
It was like a giant bubble rapidly growing outwards at phenomenal pace, infinitely slow yet instantaneous. Some of the portals themselves warped and buckled in the explosion, before collapsing in fantastical fireworks which themselves became brilliantly-coloured butterflies that also warped into cackles, then black dust.
At the edges of the ever-expanding cloud of chaos molecules, things changed and twisted. Reality tore and mended in strange places. Time was displaced in small pockets. Stones disappeared from where they were on the ground and reappeared a mile up in the sky. Things appeared and screamed briefly before exploding in a fine flurry of cockatiel feathers. An acre of earth was turned into a fully-fledged swamp. Shapes writhed in the air, before taking a physical form, dropping to the ground and flopping away.

Needless to say, everybody was affected by the subsequent explosion. What remained of most of the gaian forumite pansies were... well... pansies - a field of which bobbed lightly in the breeze, while other warped gaians (ones that managed to survive the blast but were horribly mangled in the process) stumbled in shock, unwarily crushing their brethren beneath their crooked and clawed feet. Rhiya's opponent was definitely no more than a fading image in the air - one that struggled to refocus itself in reality, but was evidently failing and fading into oblivion.

~~

The NPFers, also caught in the chaos explosion, suffered too.

Ecurt disappeared in an explosion of feathers, only to emerge... as a turkey.

Krylo felt weird, found out he needed more support for his newly-discovered funbags, had an immediate craving for chocolates of any kind, and Garud seconded Krylo's feelings.

Mesden and Pyros (somehow, he reverted to humanoid form in the chaos explosion) found they were adopting each other's costumes.

Darth heard voices. Loud voices. He looked down and found – to his shock – his clothing had begun to talk INTELLIGENTLY! (back to the therapist!)

Twiddy... well, one was a one-legged, four-armed Ethereal Filcher, another had permanently changed allignment, and the last seemed unaffected (until later on).

Premonitions certainly looked feminine... and harbored snake-like qualities. That is… he won’t find out until he is released from his own masterball.

What was even worse was the fact that Yuri, having a link with Arhra due to her lent-absorbing capabilities, looked a little green and hobo-ish. Something had happened on the other line.

It was evident that not only had the chaos explosion managed to travel down through yuri's linkage to Arhra, it had also triggered a secondary explosion due to an overloading of power. The channeler appeared apparently unharmed, but there was definitely more damage dealt around the recently-reincarnated Arhra.

"Llama what the hell penguin?" was Pedros' first reaction after a subsequent loud silent explosion.

Fenris apparently seemed much perkier, and didn't look hobo-ish at all... in fact, he looked rather... tuxedo-maskish.

Phoenixflame was perhaps a slight improvement, turning into a Rakshasa.

All the others didn’t seem to be affected…

Sub-Rhiya found herself in the rather crowded mind of Ecurt-the-turkey. Err… what the hell happened? she queried. She was vaguely aware the real Rhiya was due to respawn in a few minutes (exploding takes a lot out of you, you know), but this appearing in the brain of another NPFer was definitely uncalled for…

[OOC: others that seem to be unaffected, I've basically PMed you about it, so yeah....]

[GARUD]

The banned one that Garud was facing stood in utter shock... and then proceeded to take a perve.

"Hey, what happened? And what are you looking at? And why is my speech the same colour's as Melfice?"

"BOOBIES!"

Needless to say, the banned one was bitch-slapped to a pulp. Then, the demon-slayer(ess) looked around the room. People were now staring at his(her) chest. Looking down (s)he said,

"I think I'm going to throw up so I need a couple of cups. A big one and a small one. And let's put it this way. The smaller cup is for the vomit."

Then a thought came to Garud(a).

"Hey, I can look at myself naked! That's hot!"

[Arhra]

OOC: First part before explosion.

As Newb rushed to gather Phoenis in his embrace, with a dreamy look upon her face, Arhra grabbed Newb by the throat. Now, given the dog-boy was extremely strong, strangling him wasn't likely to be very effective. Arhra wasn't trying to strangle him though.

Any strangling that took place was a mere side benefit. Her dreamy smile just widened as she agonisingly tore out his essence and took it into herself. When that was done, she dropped the withered husk, humming happily to herself.

That dog-boy's exceptional physical strength meant she had some muscles of her own now. She was happy to have finally surpassed her previous incarnation's physical abilities in one area at least. Being physically inferior to a mage had rankled a bit.

Phoenix remarked dryly, "Clever of you to have realised he would revert out of that abhorrent form and revive if killed."

"He comes back?" was Arhra's surprised reply.

* * *

At the shores of the lake of blood, before the slopes of Mount Raiden, Yuri had found enemies. Most of them were the same kind of weak fodder that had been sent at them before. Yuri cheerily slaughtered her way through them, using her borrowed draining powers to good effect. Against most of them, a few seconds of contact was all she needed to change them from annoying to dead.

Through the link Arhra had set up between them, Yuri could tell what she was doing was making Arhra happy and that in turn made her happier. The only flaw in Arhra's happiness was the slight irritation about the lack of variety in enemies. Picking up some more abilities would be nice.

Arhra unexpectedly got her wish granted as one of the Banned faced off against Yuri.

A ludicrously large sword that looked about as sharp as butter was held in his right hand and what appeared to be some sort of racket or paddle was held in the left. His hairstyle seemed undecided between long flowing hair and some weird gravity defying spiky hairdo. A leather wizard hat, distinctly in the Final Fantasy Black Mage style was precariously perched on top. His clotihng was a bizarre, ecletic mix like several different costumes trying unsuccesfully to be mashed together into one.

There was only one thing he could be - a FF fanboy. And given that he was one of the Banned, he had to be the fanboy from hell. Possibly even the worst kind of fan fiction were some of the horrors he had caused.

"I kill you N00b with mah Mako-Magicite enhanced powah! I like have lifestream serve me cos' I so cool! How I did that is teh r0xx0rs!" the stream of filth vomited from his mouth. Yes, it seemed he had commited the atrocity of the bad fanfiction, warping it into his own perverse little world. The sin of god-modding seemed also evident.

He got a better look at Yuri, mouth turning in a snicker. "U is kinda h0ttz0rs. Not secksier thaan Tifa or Quistis but yu can join them in mah har3m." Warped from his deluded little world, cut off from the rest of the universe, it seemed he thought that was a compliment.

Yuri, having been a Badly Drawn Naked Transformation Anime (Hentai) Woman until recently, could guess what perversions went on there. Something shocking happened - her eyes narrowed in anger. Genuine anger. Coming from Yuri, that was as bewildering as being attacked by an enraged sheep.

The Fanboy could see the rejection. He just vanished, fading into thin air. He reappeared behind her, now holding a thin, absurdly long katana and slowly descended, blade leveled so as to impale her from behind.

But Yuri was no frail flowergirl. With a savage motion, she suddenly leapt into the air, spinning around in a mighty roundhouse kick that make Chuck Norris weep with envy. The Fanboy caught a foot to the side of the head and went flying, hitting hard in a mass of Gaians.

"U B!TCH!!!1!" he cried, face livid with rage as he stood up again, ringed with a corona of unhealthy looking energies. He stood up, beginning a several minute long FMV summon.

But this was not his world and it did not operate entirely by his rules, no matter how much stubborn idiotic will he put behind it. Instead of getting Bahamut, he got a punch to the face and a hand suddenly grasping his arm. He felt a sudden drain on his power as Yuri used her borrowed powers again.

Ridiculously large butterknife appearing in hand again, he swung at Yuri, cutting her side as she released her grip and tried to dodge. He started another summon, it happening in a split second this time. The Banned considered himself above such considerations as fairness and balance. An especially scantily clad version of Shiva appeared, flying swiftly at Yuri.

"GO mah c0ld beuty! Fr33ze her!" The Fanboy crowed. As Yuir clasped at the wound in her side, Shiva used her battle magic, freezing the girl in a torrent of ice.

It was fortunate for Yuri that one of the three types of enemy whose powers Arhra had absorbed thus far was Flamers. An aura of white hot flame suddenly surrounded her, filled with the blazing purity of her wrath. He launched out of her suddenly melted prison, the ice water water drenching her beginning to evaporate off into steam, and grappled Shiva to the ground.

They rolled on the ground, The Fanboy and the nearby Gaians paused as they watched the two women wrestle despite themselves. With Yuri's flaming aura and debilitating touch, it was over quickly. She stood up, dropping Shiva's dissolving body and charged at The Fanboy again like an angel of wrath.

Screaming profanities, he hurled Ultima at her, only to find it's effect almost entirely negated as she absorbed most of the energy from the spell. He swung his ridiculous racket to fire an energy bolt and missed. Finally as she leapt at him, he swung his oversized sword again, cutting her deeply again. But then her fingers closed along his throat.

"YU C4NT DU TH1S! I 4M A G0D!"

"You are not a god. You are a wretched deviant better off dead." The low hatred in Yuri's voice was scary as she tightened her grip. The final wound The Fanboy inflicted had been severe, bleeding copiously. The two of them slumped together, a death's embrace.

* * *

Yuri?! Arhra suddenly thought. She'd been picking up some strange emotional leakage through her link that had thoroughly bewildered her but Yuri had refuesed to answer. Now there was an eerie calm. She thrust her senses down the linkage and got a confused impression of what had happened.

Thankfully it wasn't as bad as she had feared. Yuri had been badly wounded but the siphoned life force and the regenerative ability Arhra had gained from the slain trolls was already healing her injuries. Yuri seemed in shock, her mind shutting down while her body tended to itself. Still far too risky.

Never one to balk at trying what might be impossible, Arhra tried to force her consciousness through the link, hoping to be able to take control of Yuri's body temporarily to get her to safety. She open her eye sin an alien body, clumsily beginning to get up.

Then she was hit full in the face with the rush of unstable energy from Rhiya's explosion. Arhra blacked out momentarily, mind snapping back to where it was meant to be but the chaotic energy tracing her back through the link. Unable to process the sudden inundation of energy, her body was forced to release it. The secondary burst was released, playing merry havoc with everything nearby.

A few seconds later, Arhra woke up again, momentarily confused as to where and who she was. Blearily trying to focus her eyes, she mumbled, "What just happened?"

[Bailey]

Newb (itemist) got up off the floor.

"Fine, fine, I understand completely, reckless use of randomized items is a bad thing. You didn't have to kill me though." Something felt funny. He looked down at his feet and felt his ears. "Holy crap! I'm a rabbit!" He felt his ears and feet changing again, then took a couple fo deep breaths. "There must be a trigger of some sort." He said this while watching his massive feet, and noticed that they grew at monosyllables and shrank at trigger, a polysyllabalic word. He closed his eyes for a moment, phrasing his next statement in his head. "Polysyllibalic expressions appear safely stated, simultaneously monosyllables become mutation. Ensuing actions include practice involving blanket, forming whipping weaponry. Directions leading battle gallery appreciated."

He shook his now once more entirely human head. He was going to be hard to understand, but he was bedamned if he was going to wander around as a rabbit.

[Dragonsbane]

Dragonsbane, as usual, looked annoyed at Rhiya. True, the wave of chaos DID wash over him, but being chaos it had a chance to do absolutely nothing to him, which is precisely what happened. For a moment, he detected that he had almost become a Cleric, which made him laugh uproariously. Fat chance of THAT happening...not many gods supported him.

"BRILLIANT move, you overgrown quartz lizard! Blow yourself up, and try to reduce our combat effectiveness in the meantime...feh, children these days. REAL dragons think before they act. Now, if this rebellion idea is still on, I have a plan." he rolled his eyes, speaking in a bored tone as a conical wave of icy crystals and supercooled matter from the tips of his fingers reduced a trio of Flamers to frozen corpses.

[Darth SS]

"My my dear chap, it would appear that you've not had a shower since this whole ordeal began, hmm?" came the voice from around Darth's crotchal region. It was british. And it had that damn haughty tone. Darth hated voices like that. It especially confused him that it came from his crotch.

"Now, be nice to the wearer dearie, he can't be blamed for his occupation. We'd best be leaving the boy alone, to let him continue his work with this grandiose world saving business. Carry on lad." Irish voice. Female. His shirt.

At this point, Darth began thrashing around, desperately trying to find the source of the voices. Not his clothes. Anything but his clothes. He couldn't handle this stuff anymore. Why oh why were his pants talking to him? Pushing it aside briefly, he brought the P90 up and filled the first flamer he could see with an entire magazine. He reloaded and continued his looking about.

"Now wasn't that a bit wasteful there dear chap? You brought the blighter down very easily with but a few pellets. You've gone and used u-"

"Hush up there. The boy is quite distracted already, and he's quite busy as well."

"Don't be telling me to hush up you blasted potty mouth harlot!"

"Harlot? Who's the one sitting quite comfortably on the boy's tallywacker?"

"Mind your tone there you damn irish mongrel! You're the one who sounds so angry that I'm between you and the stick and berries! You also seem so happy to actually be touching the boy's skin, whereas I've got a pair of knickers between me and the privates!"

"Oh. My. God. You're wearing polka dots? Soooo 1960s. I think we need to go and just dress you up in a nice italian suit. It says strong, and you'll look just so darn handsome you big boy you. Some nice silk boxers and MMM, I'll just want to take you home and put some waterwings on you."

"Shut the blooming hell up you damn knickers! Why are you a boy? Shouldn't the shoes be the gay men?"

"Nope."
"Negatory."

"I'm loving the combat boots. Those just say that you can go and kick ass, or kick back and play with kittens. But, the shoe is made by the socks-"

"Yo."
"'Sup?"

"So we need to go and just pretty you up with some armani socks."

No one knows exactly what happened with Darth. One moment he was fine. The next, he screamed "WHY MONKEYS NOT POOR COFFEE IN MY BOOT!? CLOTHING TALK BACK TO SELF DAMN GAAAAAP!" Then he just dove into the opposing army.

There was a brief struggle, then Darth was perched on top of a small mound of corpses. Dangling from his hands were the heads of a flamer, and of a banned. Using his skills as a ventroloquist, he lifted up one hand.

"Dave, your opinion holds what stance upon the latest atmospheric conditions?"

"Insufferable."

"Why this position of anguish?"

"The most recent hydration is most unfortunate."

"Is the hydration not refreshing? I find that it brings upon us vitality and life."

"Once it may have, but now it is but a downpour. OF BLOOD."

Darth dove back into the small army and continued committing acts that the Geneva Convention didn't allow. He was growing fond of beating others to death with their buddies' limbs.