Let's Play King's Bounty!

[Teal Mage]

meh, I just think her narration is hilarious.

Power of insults (aka power of Mesden) ftw.

[Mesden]

Let's kick back where we left off and continue to travel east!



...Oh, joy of joys.



Hahahahaha no.

Considering the east feels like combining my two most hated things in life, let's try the north.





Alright, two treasures!

Sometimes there are monster settlements here, but unless you're playing on easy (you horrible little scrub), they're mostly worthless, filled with things like Sprites or Gnomes.

Gnomes are mildly upgraded peasants. :gonk:



King's Bounty! :stressed:



Forewarning, Tynnestra will break the game with this spell. Break it like a 5'3", 100 lb, 18 year old in prison.




"Oh no, water! It might shoot fiery doom at us-- oh wait, that's right, water sucks."

For once, Tynnestra is right. Another worthless sign that should

"Burn?!"

...No, no more burning for you.

"Awww"



Oh, I guess this is why it's the pond of peril. There's a generic random encounter around it.

Oh noes, a generic random encounter.



This is the battle one turn in, with the orcs doing an abysmal job at attacking me.

Oh there was another random encounter earlier near peasant way, but it was just sprites and peasants, so I didn't bother taking screenshots. The damned 20 sprites killed an archer and I'm too lazy to go get another.

Anyhow, you may notice the new enemy, wolves. They're a fairly good early game unit, since they have the attacking power of a pikeman, but about 1/3rd the hp, but they can also do three actions per turn (Move move attack, move move move, etc) whereas pikemen can only do 2. They're worth getting if you don't mind your Militia having horrible morale.



Fuck sprites because no matter what we do, unless we can one shot them or close the gap and melee them before their turn, they will always, ALWAYS fly to your ranged units and kamikaze them.



REVENGE FOR GEORGE FRANK AND JOE!



Fucking Sprites!

For reference, this was only because the pikemen were attacked by wolves beforehand. Sprites still suck.



Militia are like our zerg rush right now. Expendable, tons of them, and high damage with high numbers. Also moderately cheap.

The battle mostly ends after that, the only loss being 1 more peasant, which I did intentionally because I hate peasants, unless they're giving Tynny some leadership.



:shifty: This is another of the lamer treasures, because sooner than later, anything that involves 'weekly' mostly won't matter. For the time being, It's still better than those 100 gold deposit things.

Well, those two treasures turned out to be crap. Let's check out that town we just passed by.

"Fiery death?"

Yes, there may be fiery death.





:whee::whee::whee:

I really didn't expect Lightning this early in the game. Lightning is 1/3 the damage of fireballs, but still --

"Fucking Lightning!"

That's right. So I buy a couple just in case I need to nuke some sequence breakingly strong monster (FORESHADOWING).

There seems to be nothing left up here, so let's go back to the east and hope we find something useful.



Oh hey, a town. Maybe there's more useful magic here!



Oh wow, another nuke, this time for the undead. Turn undead is exactly twice as strong as fireball, but, of course, only works on undead. It's not useful just yet, but if I don't find a more convenient place that sells this spell, expect me to return to this town soon.

KB's been really nice about magic so far...but I get the feeling they're skirting around fireball. First they give us the cheaper weaker spell, now they give us the stronger situational spell. The game is taunting Tynny and I love it.

"You're not nice. "



Moving on, we find three things. One is a random monster encounter that assuredly has gnomes, a treasure, and a castle.



Oh shit, this is a tough battle. Plenty of orcs, wolves, and an ogre. An ogre is really strong for this point in the game -- they've got ridiculously high HP and attack for anything before the third continent (Out of four). They can only move 1 space at a time, so if I play this right, just my archers can do most of the damage.



One of the benefits of playing on normal is that the flying units will still fly towards your archers, but they will occasionally be stupid enough to attack another unit. If this were on impossible, they'd definitely attack our archers.

Of course, if this were on impossible, those sprites would be dragons.



The next couple of turns involve me taking down the orcs and gnomes with my militia and pikemen, and taking down the wolves with my peasants because I love killing peasants. So once they beat the wolves. I throw them at an ogre, because haha, fuck you peasants stop taking up a spot in my army.



After a few turns of letting the ogre kill my peasants, I now play the kiting game. Since the ogres can only move once or attack once, and my archers can move twice, or move once and attack, I can reliably pick at them until they die or are very close to dying.

...But my archers run out of arrows, and my pikemen kill the ogre without incident.



The good thing about harder battles is huge pay offs. Hyuuuuge liek ecksbawks.



Man, I'm really glad you guys chose sorceress. This game's been really good about throwing useful magic at me.



Not for long!



We run into another encounter and, again, with new enemies. These are dwarves. They're upgraded gnomes, and aren't that bad -- a solid 1st continent unit if you can find any dwellings of them.



At this point my archers are very low on arrows, so Militia kamikaze is the only choice to take down ogres.



You know, I hear that if you throw a few dozen starving kittens at a grown man that the kittens might actually kill him? This is exactly like that, only with humans.

So after more tedious poking, my militia take down the second ogre with heavy losses.



:shifty:

So, there's nothing left in this area except a castle and a little treasure trove to the north. Let's do some recon, shall we?



No villains to defeat here, just a castle filled with good ol' monsters. Off to get some treasure!



:shifty:



:O_o:

Sequence breaking powers ho! This is the passage map to the next continent. I'm very surprised we got it so early, as I can do some serious game breaking with this if I try hard enough.

So, this is how much we've explored so far:



And here is our crumby (" ") sorceress:



And here are our options:

Take down the dratty little castle filled with dratty little monsters.

Sequence break this game by boating to Forestria and exploring it, and subsequently getting monsters way more powerful than typical 1st continent ones.

or

Get a boat and explore around the 1st continent some more.

You guys decide the fate of our crappy sorceress!

[42PETUNIAS]

Reload on troops and take down that castle.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

New continent ahoy! This current continent offends me greatly.

[Krylo]

DEFOREST FORESTRIA!

[Tendronai]

It's your civic duty to slaughter everyone in that castle.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

To Forestia! Because it's slightly more original then Contentia.

[Khael!]

Load up on troops and head to Forestria! Come on people. We all said sorceress so we could see some game bending, and now you don't want to take advantage of this game-bent map?

For shame!

[Teal Mage]

Well I'm voting to kill the castle, sequence breaking tends to be a lot of trouble.

>.>
<.<
I also vote you get more troops either way.

[secretskull]

Isn't the answer obvious? Go and crush the forest continent. Game breaking is more fun to watch.