BlackMage.exe - Page 4

Kyanbu The Legend · 04-14-2009, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fifthfiend

WHAT THE FUCK MEISTER

WHAT DID YOU DO

It sounds like your just now noticing it. Still doesn't top most of the hurrible crap I stumbled apon while foolishly imputing random words in the google image search bar during my jr high school and high school days.

Amake · 04-14-2009, 05:47 AM

I assume he's just being true to the source material. The narrative sort of talks around the issue, but it's indirectly saying that the brown guy is not wearing pants.

Meister · 04-14-2009, 06:17 AM

Now here's something I need to do more often.

Kirby2000 · 04-14-2009, 09:07 AM

To stop Meister from posting anymore bad pic I think I just post pic of the characters after every episode starting now

Netto's pic is on my profile but I post it here anyway

Here is a picture of Meiru

Here is a picture of Dekao

Here is a picture of Netto's mom (the only pic I could find for here was a fanart)

Here is a picture of Mariko

Here is a picture of Masa (only have his game look the only different is the in the anime his headband don't have white dots and the fish on his apron was pink.)

And finnaly a picture of Kenichi Hino

I still going to make the detail more better before moveing on to episode two.

Nikose Tyris · 04-14-2009, 10:25 AM

No see I don't think you understand. We know how the characters are supposed to look. we watch TV.

This thread? Yeah everyone in it is insulting your fanfic. It's terrible. It's quality is below that of "So awful it's good." It's so awful, it's right back to down right terrible again.

There is a huge list of what you have done wrong here. You should go back, completely rewrite the entire thing, (probably with an entirely different story) and post it in the fanfic thread that Fenris linked to.

Also to some extent I think people here are insulting you as well.

Just so we're all clear on that.

We are coming to this thread out of need to insult this thing and to gaze upon the horror that Meister has conjured.

okay thanks.

Kirby2000 · 04-14-2009, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nikose Tyris

No see I don't think you understand. We know how the characters are supposed to look. we watch TV.

This thread? Yeah everyone in it is insulting your fanfic. It's terrible. It's quality is below that of "So awful it's good." It's so awful, it's right back to down right terrible again.

There is a huge list of what you have done wrong here. You should go back, completely rewrite the entire thing, (probably with an entirely different story) and post it in the fanfic thread that Fenris linked to.

Also to some extent I think people here are insulting you as well.

Just so we're all clear on that.

We are coming to this thread out of need to insult this thing and to gaze upon the horror that Meister has conjured.

okay thanks.

There is no fanfic thread. I said so in a earlier post and other people open new topic for their fanfic.

Kerensky287 · 04-14-2009, 11:32 AM

Fanskit = Fanfic. What part of this is difficult to understand?

EDIT: Okay, nevermind, I see what he's talking about. Fifthfiend actually said in his first post there that fanfics with plot exposition and character development and stuff could have their own threads, everybody get off his case.

While I'm on topic, though, I WOULD recommend that you (Kirby) find somebody to edit the story for you if you can't be arsed to do it yourself. In its current form, I estimate it's almost at the halfway point towards readability, and that's being generous. How about instead of doing part 2 right away, you look at the suggestions people have already posted and try re-writing the first bit? That way, you can help fix your story with feedback before it gets carried away and the damage is irreversible.

(And by the way, IS English your first language? Because if it isn't, then that'd be good to mention. If it is, then you should try writing it with a little more structure and clarity.)

Kirby2000 · 04-14-2009, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kerensky287

Fanskit = Fanfic. What part of this is difficult to understand?

EDIT: Okay, nevermind, I see what he's talking about. Fifthfiend actually said in his first post there that fanfics with plot exposition and character development and stuff could have their own threads, everybody get off his case.

While I'm on topic, though, I WOULD recommend that you (Kirby) find somebody to edit the story for you if you can't be arsed to do it yourself. In its current form, I estimate it's almost at the halfway point towards readability, and that's being generous. How about instead of doing part 2 right away, you look at the suggestions people have already posted and try re-writing the first bit? That way, you can help fix your story with feedback before it gets carried away and the damage is irreversible.

(And by the way, IS English your first language? Because if it isn't, then that'd be good to mention. If it is, then you should try writing it with a little more structure and clarity.)

I going to be working on getting the story better so it can get ton of people reading it (and maybe a comment on the episode and not all my errors)

Kerensky287 · 04-14-2009, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kirby2000

I going to be working on getting the story better so it can get ton of people reading it (and maybe a comment on the episode and not all my errors)

I assume "getting the story better" means that you're trying to improve the story itself rather than fixing the errors... well, the issue probably isn't with the story's content - the issue is that people can't read it at all right now.

People don't want to read something if it takes a lot of effort to read. I'm sure that once it makes grammatical sense, people will be more inclined to talk about what happens in the story... but right now, I have trouble making it past the first paragraph. I strongly recommend that you get someone to look it over and fix the SPELLING and GRAMMAR before working on the CONTENT.

And you still haven't answered the question about whether English is your native language or not.

***Fenris*** · 04-14-2009, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kerensky287

EDIT: Okay, nevermind, I see what he's talking about. Fifthfiend actually said in his first post there that fanfics with plot exposition and character development and stuff could have their own threads,

I'm not seeing either of those.

Quote:

everybody get off his case.

Hell no.

04-14-2009, 05:47 AM	#32
Amake Keeper of the new Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: A place without judgment Posts: 4,506	I assume he's just being true to the source material. The narrative sort of talks around the issue, but it's indirectly saying that the brown guy is not wearing pants. __________________ Hope insistent, trust implicit, love inherent, life immersed

04-14-2009, 11:32 AM	#37
Kerensky287 Just That Good Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 3,426	Fanskit = Fanfic. What part of this is difficult to understand? EDIT: Okay, nevermind, I see what he's talking about. Fifthfiend actually said in his first post there that fanfics with plot exposition and character development and stuff could have their own threads, everybody get off his case. While I'm on topic, though, I WOULD recommend that you (Kirby) find somebody to edit the story for you if you can't be arsed to do it yourself. In its current form, I estimate it's almost at the halfway point towards readability, and that's being generous. How about instead of doing part 2 right away, you look at the suggestions people have already posted and try re-writing the first bit? That way, you can help fix your story with feedback before it gets carried away and the damage is irreversible. (And by the way, IS English your first language? Because if it isn't, then that'd be good to mention. If it is, then you should try writing it with a little more structure and clarity.) __________________ People who live in Glass homes should not throw stones or Jerk off at daytime Last edited by Kerensky287; 04-14-2009 at 11:38 AM.

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04-14-2009, 06:17 AM	#33
Meister Pure joy Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Germany Posts: 10,689	Now here's something I need to do more often.

04-14-2009, 09:07 AM	#34
Kirby2000 Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Home Posts: 42	To stop Meister from posting anymore bad pic I think I just post pic of the characters after every episode starting now Netto's pic is on my profile but I post it here anyway Here is a picture of Meiru Here is a picture of Dekao Here is a picture of Netto's mom (the only pic I could find for here was a fanart) Here is a picture of Mariko Here is a picture of Masa (only have his game look the only different is the in the anime his headband don't have white dots and the fish on his apron was pink.) And finnaly a picture of Kenichi Hino I still going to make the detail more better before moveing on to episode two.