Jokes/Riddles thread!

[Rhana]

I love blonde jokes.
I'm a blond.
Is there something wrong with me, or is this normal?

[Zweihander]

For blonds, yes, it's perfectly normal.

How can you tell that a blond's been using a computer?
There's White-Out on the screen.

How can you tell another blond's been at the same computer?
There's writing over the White-Out.

[RavenDrake]

Yeah... I screwed up the punchline with the Ball-bawl mistake... but you don't have to worry about spelling with a spoken joke.

On the other hand, there's this one:

A man goes into a priests confesional and tell him "I've got to make amends for something."

And the priest says "Tell me, my child, what you did wrong."

"Well... I sort of stole some lumbe from where I work."

"Theft is a sin, my child, but what did you do with it?"

"I made my son a doghouse."

"Well, with that small bit of wood, surely the Lord can forgive you."

"Well... there was kinda some wood leftover from that."

"Really?" the priest replies, "And tell me, what did you do with THAT lumber?"

"I... err... built a Two car garage."

"My son! That is quite a bit of lumber you've stolen... but if your family needed the garage, and I'm sure the lord can forgive you."

"Well.... there was kinda... y'know... some more lumber left over."

"And what," The priest said, exhasperated, "Did you do with THAT lumber my child?"

"Err... built an 80 foot yaht."

"That is it my son! You have commited a great sin to have taken so much. You must make amends for your sin."

"How, father?"

"Do you know how to make a Novena?"

"Not of the top of my head, father, but if you've got the plans, I've got the lumber."

[My Lead Airbag]

A kid goes into a department store and asks the helper if they have any snake tits. The helper hasn't heard of those before, so he goes to the back, searches around for ahwile, then after he can't find anything he asks his manager. The manager calls him an idiot, and the helper returns to the kid, who is now laughing histerically. The helper throws him out of the store and goes back to work. A few minutes later an old woman walks in and asks for moth balls. The helper, perturbed says "Look lady, snakes aint got no tits, and moths don't have any balls."

[Thanatos]

Originally Posted by RavenDrake

"Do you know how to make a Novena?"

hmmmm....I had to look up the word novena for that one to make sense to me. Having not been raised Catholic or whatever I have never heard of such things, but it was hillarious once I understood.

[RavenDrake]

I found the word on Dictionary.com a site that I, as a perennially poor speller could not do without on a daily basis. In fact, I've had to consult it twice so far for just this post.

Since I've only every heard the joke spoken (On the Bob and Tom show by one comedian) It took some digging to find out what the word was... but it's meaning shows thorugh pretty well, I think.

And unfortunatly, that exhausts my supply of clean jokes... the rest of mine are dirty...