NPF Avatars IV, Chapter V: Beyond the Wall of Teeth

[Bailey]

As Pyros rocketed up the corridor and crashed into Syttulg, Syttulg could only grunt as the air was forced out of his lungs.

[Flarecobra]

"SONOFABITCH!" I said, and flattened myself out as best I could.

[Skyshot]

"Well, that's suitable for plan D, I guess. Thief Special Hidden blah blah blah," Skyshot said as he ran away. "Also, dear heavenly forces above, which I serve to my greatest power yet only poorly, please maintain the structural integrity of this tunnel."

"You call that a prayer?"

"Okay, let's see you do a better one."

[Lumaes]

It was in the fading flash of the androids attack that the rather distinctive sound of a door opening made itself known. The sound, in fact, was so distinct that those gifted with particular auricular capacity would be able to ascertain that the door was a fairly recent addition, having been manufactured from fine grain cedar wood harvested somewhere in the northern hemisphere within the last five years. The hinges were obviously a copper alloy with no more than 6% impurities and had, perhaps, had their oiling neglected once too often.
The next rather distinct sound came from the rather distinct creature which answered through said door.
"Allo"
What had entered through the door could only be described as Death, its body was a mass of shadows, blending substancelessly with the darkness of the tunnel and all most dissapearing in the light. The face and hands lacked this indistinctness. Its head was a pale disc which treated the assemblage to a monstrously toothy grin. Its carved hands had joint burned with its own sigil. Suspended in the inky substance of its chest there was a large, fresh looking acorn, defying all explanation.
"Jolly good job! No one's given him a dressing down in years - he was growing insufferable. Though I would perhaps reccomend haste, yes? The second is gaining momentum."
Flashing another jovial grin the creature inexplicably produces a hand-bell, tinkling it demandingly,
"Don't dither then - the next doors this way"
Luma-es then shuts the door, using an inexplicable key to lock it behind it. As if to answer some unasked question it taps one boney finger against the sign on the front NO ENTRY
With that the creature sets off down the tunnel at a jaunty, legless pace.
"Oh! Arhra wouldn't be about would he?"
Apparently the creatures information was out of date.

[POS Industries]

As the light from this latest wave of electromagnetic doom faded into nothingness, those with eyes that needed to adjust to the change in light did so, and those among them that had been looking in Rei's general direction would have surely noticed the android girl merrily squeezing TB in her arms as tightly as she could.

"SSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOO KYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!!!!!!!!" she squealed, rubbing her gleefully smiling face against the top of the prinny bomber's little asphyxiated head, before quickly tossing him into the nearest cave wall as she suddenly remembered something.

"Oh! One moment!"

Leaping into the center of the space that, until very recently, had been occupied by the flowstone boulder, Rei proudly raised her hands into the air and emitted a strange humming from her internals. Through the magic of science, the gravity of the area immediately surrounding her reversed momentarily, lifting the various substances that had been covering the floor into the air, where they suddenly hovered as the gravity field was altered once more.

Most notably among these levitated substances was several puddles of the goo that goes by the name Flare Cobra. After initiating a series of purely asthetic gestures, Rei manipulated the gravity field further, forcing the floating orbs of slime together into one big blob before setting it gently upon the ground and returning the gravity to normal.

"There you go!"

As the slime reformed into a more Flare-like shape, Rei's eyes suddenly flashed red for a moment as her internal processors began going over a number of conflicting orders.

It seems that Rei had orders to kill Flare on sight...

BEGIN FLASHBACK!!!!!!
(You know you love 'em!)

NPF AVATAR ARENA, QUARTERFINAL ROUND:

It was hot. Really hot. You can't imagine how unbelievably hot it was. Then again, given that these events were taking place on the north side of an erupting volcano, one could suppose that the level of heat was more than understandable. One of the two people that currently inhabited this particular side of the volcano was, in fact, quite comfortable here.

The Negative Kamen (aka Pedro O'Sullivan), however, was not.

His opponent, Flare Cobra, had very decidedly won field advantage in this round and was using it well. There wasn't enough light here for the Kamen to create any decent shadow portals, and the shadow puppets he was making were weak to the point of near-transperancy. Flare, meanwhile, was able to just dive in and out of the rivers of liquid-hot magma with the greatest of ease, and there was no following her there.

In one final desperation maneuver, Negative Kamen had summoned four of his puppets and sent them on a multi-vectored collision course with their dragoon prey. Flare stood several feet away from the safety of her lava, and this would be the only chance the Kamen would have to catch her.

Or not.

"MEGA FLARE!!!" And with two words, the shadow puppets and their target all disappeared into a massive explosion of fire and other such hotness. As the Kamen began to move away from the blast, he looked up to see the dragoon descending upon him from the ashen sky above, just as she transmogrified into her slime girl form.

"BLURGLE!!! BLUBRBNGLRBLE BLRBH GKHUBNDLR!!!!" the Kamen cried out as he found himself enveloped in Flareslime. For those not fluent in the language of the drowning, his words would be translated thusly:

"AW HELL!!! NEGATIVE HEART CRUSHER!!!!"

Suddenly, the ring on his right index finger exploded in a pitch black wave of doom, crushing everything in its path to mere subatomic particles. As the Kamen suddenly gasped for air as the slime vanished from him, it could be seen that his expertly-tailored tuxedo had changed from its original black to a pure white, just before dissipating to reveal the normal clothes of Pedro O'Sullivan.

Pedro, now temporarily purified as a side-effect of the attack, looked in horror at the destruction he had wrought. "Is.... is that it?" he stammered, "Did I win? Flare? Flare, are you okay?"

"Yes, POS, I'm just fine," stated a voice behind him, just before a large snake tail smacked him hard in the back of the head, knocking Pedro to the ground in a sudden case of unconsciousness.

"And here is your winner," called out Raiden as he appeared next to the lamia and raised her hand into the air, "FLARE COBRA!!!"

END FLASHBACK!!!!!!!!!

Back in the cave, Rei considered her various orders and determined that ensuring the survival of all of the NPFers was paramount to her termination order of Flare. Instead, the android simply patted the extremely angry slimegirl on the head before leaping off to deliver a potentially deadly tacklehug to Skyshot.

[PyrosNine]

Pyros got up, a good distance away from the others, completely in bush. What was worse however, is that he wasn't alone. Somehow he'd bumped into the pitiful syttulg on the way. Fortunately, the plantman was unconcious and wasn't able to see Pyros in all his nudity.

Despite this, Pyros enveiled himself as best as he could with his wings. Being nude was never good. It could only bring humiliation, disorder, chaos, indecency, and marriage proposals.

Pyros called down the corridor. "Forgive me if I am being demanding, but perchance any of you have a spare change of clothes?"

[Flarecobra]

"Gee, thanks. Almost makes up for blasting me all over the walls." I said, as soon as I had finished reforming. "Ok, time to get solid again....DB, you still have my armor in that magic pouch of yours, right?" I said, looking at him.

[Toastburner B]

Toastburner found himself flying towards a wall, having being tossed.

At this point, everyone should know what happens when you throw a prinny.

If you don't, you're about to find out, so pay attention.

Well...I guess it had to happen sooner or later, dood. TB thought to himself. I'm actually surprised to took so lo-.

His thought was rudely interrupted by a wall, which his head smashed into. However, before the impact was fully complete, TB exploded, taking a good sized chunk of the wall with him.


(The Fates have declared that TB returns as Scar Kitty)


As chance had it, the nearest respawn point was very close by to the party, so much so that TB could clearly see the smoke from where he had exploded a short time before. "Wow," TB muttered to himself as he pushed himself off the ground, "that was a pretty quick turn around time...must not of been many people dying at that moment, so my ping was good."

At TB got to his feet, he noticed he had four of them, and they were covered with fur. "Hey...been awhile since I was in this form," he commented. "Of course, it would of been more handy a few posts ago...you know, being able to take apart the boulder at a molecular level would of helped a lot."

[POS Industries]

After nearly hugging the life out of Skyshot and discarding him, Rei managed to catch up with Arhra. "Thanks soooo much for hanging onto my briefcase!" she said as said case was handed back to its rightful owner, then turning to address the assembling group of NPFers, "All righty, everyone! If I could have your attention please, it's time for some exposition!"

Keying in the appropriate secret passcode into the briefcase's lock, Rei opened the case and set it upon the ground. As Rei backed away, a holographic projection appeared of a tall man of slender build with pale skin and long brown hair, dressed in a black and grey business suit, standing with his arms crossed and a smug smile upon his face.

"Hello, erm, friends," the holographic recording of Pedro O'Sullivan greeted everyone, "If you're watching this, then you aren't dead. Hooray for you. For those of you that have died, better luck next time. You should have tried harder."

POS took a moment to chuckle slightly to himself before continuing. "In case you were wondering, we at POS Industries have been monitoring your progress since the very onset of this adventure, via the small transmitters that I had implanted in the optic and auditory nerves of the hobo during our previous bit of fun."

"Hear that, Mr. Hobo?" Rei called out cheerily to Fenris, "That's why your eye's been so itchy!"

"Anyway," the holo-POS continued, "I didn't feel the need to join you and, honestly, I still don't. Currently, I'm busy on an important fact-finding mission, but have decided that it would benefit you to have my associate Rei help you out for the time being. Contained within this very briefcase is an assortment of various supplies that we have determined will be of immediate use to most of you. Good luck and all that. See you in hell!"

As the holographic projector deactivated, Rei kneeled down and started rummaging through the briefcase. "Okay, folks! Step right up and get your stuff! We have candy, drinks, food, healing potions, and..." Rei stood and held up a dark grey jumpsuit with the POS Industries logo printed in white on the back and a nametag sewn on the left front breast that displayed the name "Smitty".

"...this is for Mr. Pyros!"

[PyrosNine]

Originally Posted by Rei'd. It kills bugs dead. REI"D!

"...this is for Mr. Pyros!"

Pyros heard his name called. " I am called Pyros! What do you have for me? Is it clothes by anychance?"

Pyros stood where he was, out of sight. "I'm afraid I'm too indecent to come get whatever it is at the moment. Perchance you could throw it to me?"