NPF Avatars 6, Chapter (6?)7: Didn't your momma tell you not to fight?

[Intern Nin]

The shock from the suplex had woken up Holland, who pulled his head out of the ground and looked around to find the source of the tremor. He spotted Oninzuka standing in the broken dome and became infuriated at the sight of the best damn teacher period. He roared, spat fire, and took to the skies. Holland twisted around in the air and prepared for his final strike.

Oninzuka saw what the dragon was doing and jumped into AA gun. "Man, I really don't want to use a gun but you leave me no choice." Holland roared in response and Oninzuka took aim. He pressed the trigger and the cannons fired off two rounds.

Well, they weren't really rounds so much as they were people. Two firebenders had been shot out of the barrels and were streaking towards Holland with genocide and lust for glory in their eyes. Oninzuka sputtered and then took a closer look at the label on the turret. It turns out it wasn't an Anti-Aircraft Gun, it was an Anti-Airbender Gun manufactered by POS Industries during the early days of the 100 year war and sold to the Fire Nation.

The firebenders caught the dragon mid-air and starting butchering Holland while he was still alive, a scene that would definitely never make it on to the airwaves. Dewey came to and saw what was happening to brother. He decided to cut his losses and just take off. And maybe move to an island where the firebenders couldn't find him, change his name, grow a beard, put on a few pounds, and maybe trick some bird people into thinking he was a god. Meanwhile, Oninzuka looked on at the scene of carnage.

"Oh man, this is sick. There had better be a damn good prize waiting for me after all this."

[Flarecobra]

I looked up, and saw a tail coming right at us. "Shit...lookout!!" I said, grabbing the other girl and dragged us clear of the tail. "OK, WHO DOES THIS BELONG TO!?" I yelled out at the others, gesturing at the tail. It was quite obvious that I was kinda ticked off now.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Daimo dropped to one knee and panted. "Big Mac...let me finish this fight without your interferance, and perhaps I'll let you have your body." Daimo said. He was lying of course, but Mac was gullible enough to believe it.

"Are you serious? No more fighting? I can resume my life as it was?"

"Perhaps you can. But you must be silent as I kill these three Geisha's. Deal?"

"Deal!"

Daimo let out a deep breath. He stood up and stretched. "Prepare to meet the beyond," he announced loudly an slid his foot across the floor. "Flame Storm!" he channelled and columns of fire began to leap upwards and burn the dojo. He concentrated the fire into a single force and tossed it towards the three Ninjas.

[PyrosNine]

By the time Steel looked back over to Rincewind, Rincewind had already displayed his sole magical talent-Dissappearing, that tended to only work when the person who the trick was for was looking the other way and Rincewind had a clear path to dash off.

"Since catching him now would send him on a long, whirlwind adventure, and you can never keep an inept wizard down, Steel loses!"
* * *
Mauve and Oninzuka were rewarded for their victory with a new wardrobe that was only accesible if they started a new game and opened up a previously locked door at the start of the RP on the next playthrough. Steel was told to try again, and to defeat "Shen Long" if he ever hoped to defeat Ryu.

However, instead of popping up at the stage, they found themselves at a street intersection in Japan, yet was strangely enough full of Spaghetti western influences....

* * *
Pyros8 Wished he was dead, which was close enough for the judges. When the whistle blew for a KO, Pyros had given up on life and wished for no more.

"Arhra I wins! Fierce Intimacy!"

A tiny Arhra face popped up on the lower right corner of the screen.
"Saucy!"

ArhraI and V too, found theirself not back at the stage, but joining Mauve, Steel, and Oninzuka at the street corner, this time noticing a trio of people in colored Jumpsuits...

Garud's beam went true, smacking FMA-Girl in the back, her body reeling in Darkness related damage. "ACK! HOMUNCULI Sneak attack, I-" Then the snake rolled over her.

"Garud wins by use of Technical Snake!"

Flare got an answer about the tail's owner when it attempted to crush her, while it's head (directly behind her, as it was a world stretching snake, Ergo it's head would reach it's tail) roared violently.

"MY EYE! And what's that gooey feeling beneath me? Did I crush a fangirl? Was she mine? I know the ladies dig the glasses after buying "Why all girls love four eyes!" for $29.99 from the Televised Bookstore Network!" Jormgundr complained.

* * *

The three Ninja girls, weakened and battered, knew that this was not a fight they were going to win. But, they had their pride as ninjas. THey would not give up. They would not surrender.

"Ninja Trio Special Attack of Improvisation!" They knew it would end soon, so they would give it their alll, even if they didn't know what to do.

Sakura alike pulled out the Giant Bladed Star, and flung it.

It was not like a ninja to sit and think when trouble happened, lest they despair over their situation. It was the way of the Ninja to act, to flip out, to dance in front of the flames of doom.

Suzu-Alike leapt onto the Giant Bladed Star while pulling out a scroll, which spun around her like a giant ribbon as she stood on the oversized shuriken.

"Oh Kami-Sama, give us the strength to strike down the guy who called us Geishas!"

Sheena-alike prayed, using an old antique brush to hurl ink through the air, that hit the scroll and put on ancient caligraphic words of magic, blessed by the local kami.

The scroll glowed, and with that, the attack was complete:

The Holy Star of Perpetual Motion!

The ninja star crashed into the fire, holding it at bay.

It was going to be one of those kind of struggles.

However, Nekomata had a moment of opportunity!

* * * *

For the first time, Pyros himself entered battle, albeit alongside those who'd already fought.

On that simple street corner of mixed references, Pyros stood, alongside Mauve, Steel, Oninzuka, both Arhra's, and whoever else wanted to be there, standing before another group.

Colored in every color of the rainbow (assuming the Rainbow has five colors), the Sentai Force was there to darken (despite being all bright colored) the Forumite's day.

"Warriors of the NPF, we are here because you killed Mog McMoogington, or better known as to us 'Sentai Kupo,' and because of that..."

They all made colorful, action-karate-riffic poses. "We're going to kill you viciously!"

"Furthermore, we challenge you to a duel! And not like these pansy duels you've been fighting so far...a straight one on one, with only one posts each! But nothing you can do can defeat us, because we have our own TV show, manga, and a come from multi-ethnic backgrounds with an emphasis on teamwork!"

Sentai Leader, the Red Ranger pointed to himself. "Though I fire the gun!"

* * *Example* * *
Pyros vs. Sentai Leader!

Sentai Leader's Post:
Sentai Leader held up his weapon, a pistol for a moment of cease fire. His armor shining nobly in the bright sun, his mask like a perfect mirror of tranquility, hiding a handsome face that was full of nothing but bright optimism, despite having a rocky past and being the last of his kind and the son of Mary Sue and the Evil Dictator Villain Marty Stu, torn between good and evil yet having the strength of both.

"Now, let us have a fair, honorable duel on both sides."

Pyros's Post:

Pyros threw his sword, cutting off the incredibly ugly, unimportant and backstoryless Leader's hand, forcing him to drop his gun.

THe leader promptly ran around, screaming bloody murder at the loss of his hand.
* * */Example* * *

Mauve vs. Sentai Card Gamer!

Senta Card Gamer's Post:

"Leader! I will avenge you, and teach these fools a lesson for such foul play! Now, Miss Mage, prepare to be defeated!" The witty and intelligent Card Gamer cried, his frail form belying his true strength of strategy, for once he was set in a campaign, it was hard to ever defeat him and his stratagems.

Stopping before Mauve, he lay down the battle..and waited for Mauve to make her first move.

*Sets down a table with Yugioh-Cards, and drew 5 of them, taking the first turn for himself.*

Steel Vs. Sentai Survivalist!

Sentai Survivalist's post:

The hardened, Military trained, ready for anything, Super Soldier awaiting the war to end all wars, pointed his gun at the puny Steel, ready to show him how effective his gun (which was a bi-carbine two shafted assault rifle of neo-folded design, with a stock of pure mahogany complete with a built in scope, laser targeting, dishwasher, and heat seeking bullets that were like magnum bullets but better) was by shooting him with it!

"I know CQC, you hippie!"

Arhra vs. Sentai Cynical!"Wait, what the fuck? Why am I fighting two of them? And one of them's a giant!? This is so typical!" Cynical whined.

Sentai Cynical's Post:

"No Seriously, I really shouldn't be fighting them! This is all stupid! I didn't even like Mog! He was kinda creepy!" the Dark haired, dark dressed (cuz fashion is stupid) Cynical explained, because she was the only smart one there.

Oninzuka vs Sentai Token Bad Boy

Sentai Token Bad Boy's Post:

"Oooh, Sensei, you think you're the big guy around here? I've had bigger men then you try to tell me what to do, but they have yet to change my ways, and I'm just barely brushing up against the line between Anti-Hero and villain, unless there's some unforeseen critical life changing moment in the future!" The dark jacketed punk kid yelled, while simultaneously smacking a steel pipe into the ground, spinning a bicycle chain, and carefully managing his slick greaser hair.

"Prepare for a beating!" He yelled, running at Oninzuka with all the misunderstood miscreantness he could muster.

[The SSB Intern]

SSB rested at the bottom of crater, not bothering to watch anyone's fight on the TVs. The silence was maddening, and there was no stimulation save a box of LEGOs at his feet. But after the third asymmetrical rocketship, a man's gotta move on.

So he was resting, on his back, and watching the clouds go by. There was something strange he was seeing though.

"HMM! The five-colored rainbow!" He remembered the war...

SSB jumped to the surface and turned to face the phenom. The TV screen displayed a group of teenagers standing front of an explosion. They were doing cartwheels with attitude.

"But what's this? Teacher is the monster of the week?"

"Warriors of the NPF, we are here because you killed Mog McMoogington, or better known as to us 'Sentai Kupo,' and because of that..."

They all made colorful, action-karate-riffic poses. "We're going to kill you viciously!"

But he never fought Mog.
SSB punched the screen.
I shall go to this so-called *AIR QUOTES* "Nippon" and straighten this out.
SSB set the coordinates on his boots and then went to sleep, while they flew him to the battle.

8 seconds later...

SSB stepped off the bus. He was there. The street corner of destiny. It had a donut shop.

"Oooh!"

He ran in and stuffed his face.

"OM NOM NOM. Oh vbeah. Brad Dufe! Ominshuka neber fouhf thaf Mnog guy. Hesh a washte of time."

[Loyal]

Loyal was on the Deathwish, busying himself with the datacards he'd printed earlier. As he read through them, he would occasionally give an affirmative grunt or a displeased hum, and jot down some notes on another digital readout he had nearby.

But then, ever helpful, Alan said matter-of-factly, "Sir, while I am pleased that you are taking your new responsibilities so seriously, do you not have the matter of your friends to deal with?"

"They can handle themselves without me, Alan," Loyal responded flatly, not shifting his eyes from the datacards. "My specialty is intelligence and material acquisition, not combat... and now that I have you and this ship, I can start acting as such."

He noted a few more lines worth of data, mumbling something about the OSHA, before continuing, "Besides, communications are still locked down till I manually restart them, and I'm not getting up to do that just yet."

"I could restart it for you." Alan said with a hint of disappointment.

"You could, but I don't want you to right now." The thief sighed. "Look, call me up in an hour or so, I'll restart it then. Then we can just survey them or something... and if something comes up then we'll act. I mean it's not like they're fighting a series of bosses that's just begging for my input as a technical fighter or anything like that. Agreed?"

"If you insist, sir. Though I must confess... you're not nearly as curious as Thadius."

Ahem... came a familiar voice in the back of Loyal's head.

Loyal shook his head. "That's because I'm not Thadius, mate. And speaking of who I'm not, would you do me a favor and do a little research when you get the chance? Nexus and I are still stuck together and I'd like to know how to fix that."

"The network is down sir."

"Then work with whatever you've got archived till it's back up. I'm aware this is a bit of a unique case but I'm sure Thadius put that massive memory of yours to some use that didn't involve games or porn."

[mauve]

"Leader! I will avenge you, and teach these fools a lesson for such foul play! Now, Miss Mage, prepare to be defeated!" The witty and intelligent Card Gamer cried, his frail form belying his true strength of strategy, for once he was set in a campaign, it was hard to ever defeat him and his stratagems.

Stopping before Mauve, he lay down the battle..and waited for Mauve to make her first move.

*Sets down a table with Yugioh-Cards, and drew 5 of them, taking the first turn for himself.*

Mauve folded her arms.

"You may be a united team and multi-ethnic and all that jazz," she began, "But you still cannot beat me. Because...." She struck a pose. "I'm the Obligatory Blonde Chick!!! I'm the token female character!"

She sat down at the opposite end of the table and looked over the card setup, steepling her fingers in front of her face.

"Oh, this is one of those, 'I summon my Hazel Eyes White Capitalist God Card' games, right? Okay. I think I can do this." She snapped her fingers and issued a command, and the table and all its contents burst into flame. "Oh, see there? I just summoned my Freakin Badass Red Fireball. Too bad. That means you lose all your monsters and hit points. I win."

She shoved a fist into the air.

"SCREW THE RULES, I HAVE MAGIC!!"

[Arhra]

Arhra I beamed: it had been a glorious victory. Her expression turned quizzical when she saw her companion. "Are you quite done?" she said, looking at Arhra V.

Arhra V had her arms wrapped about her own torso, hugging herself. "I can increase system density by at least 300% with the new devices!" she said, on the verge of tears of joy.

"That's... nice?" Arhra I tried.

"Wait, what the fuck? Why am I fighting two of them? And one of them's a giant!? This is so typical!" Cynical whined, making her appearance.

Arhra I's head swivelled to regard this newcomer, becoming slightly more gigantic as she did.

"No Seriously, I really shouldn't be fighting them! This is all stupid! I didn't even like Mog! He was kinda creepy!" the Dark haired, dark dressed (cuz fashion is stupid) Cynical explained, because she was the only smart one there.

"Beggars can't be choosers!" Arhra I shouted, stabbing her finger accusing at the sentai member.

Explosions went off all around the cynical ranger. In the midst of the fountains of sparks and smokes she seemed to throw herself backwards, falling to the ground. Arhra looked at her finger in surprise.

Her opponent climbed to her feet and made a fighting pose. Charging forwards, she made a flying kick. Arhra I, with a mild expression on her face, turned slightly and watched the ranger fly past. There were no explosions where she landed, but there were some garbage cans, that she knocked over when she fell into them.

"It's no good!" she said, making a karate pose again. "I'll need the Cynical Grey Magimechazord. Am I supposed to fight a gigantified monster on my own? Stupiiiiid!"

"Make my monster grow!" Arhra V cackled to herself in the background. "Because my monster should be taller, you know? Really tall. We're talking frickin' humongous here."

From behind dark storm clouds, the Cynical Grey Magimechazord appeared, beak tilted disdainful away from the stupid world it was supposed to protect. Bright lightning flashed behind it, showing its dark profile and it screeched defiance at the idiotic cliches that only it and its pilot could see through.

"AAAAH!" came Cynical's cry. The Cynical Grey Magimechazord suddenly wobbled in midair and crashed into a nearby mountain.

Arhra I had lunged forwards, hand flashing out at the ranger. In mid-leap to join with her zord, instead Cynical had met Arhra's hand, swatting her and sending her plunging into the ground like a meteorite.

Truly, it had been the Bitchslap of the Ages.

"You know," Arhra I said thoughtfully to the cratered ranger. "I've always wondered how you people manage to get into your cockpits. Now I know."

She turned to Arhra V who was still ranting about Arhra I's skyscraper-esque proportions and hugging herself. "You can stop now."

[GARUD]

"Victory! ASSURED VICTORY!"

Garud celebrated gleefully as he was announced the winner. Sure, by snake, and he did take a cheap shot, but he didn't care. The girl shouldn't have run after the snake. So now he was at the next location, via plot device. Because he wanted to. And there were... power rangers?

"I don't get it. And where is the megazord? Or whatever they calls it."

[Steel Shadow]

Originally Posted by Sentai Survivalist

The hardened, Military trained, ready for anything, Super Soldier awaiting the war to end all wars, pointed his gun at the puny Steel, ready to show him how effective his gun (which was a bi-carbine two shafted assault rifle of neo-folded design, with a stock of pure mahogany complete with a built in scope, laser targeting, dishwasher, and heat seeking bullets that were like magnum bullets but better) was by shooting him with it!

"I know CQC, you hippie!"

Steel considered his new opponent from under his top hat. "Now I have to deal with the Snake wannabe? Alright, I think I can do that." He muttered.

He stuck a dynamic pose, pointing at Survivalist. "Your superiors are lying to you! They don't care whether you live or die, so long as their mysterious and contrived goals are completed in the most round-about way possible! You're just a tool to them, created only to destroy, to never know the joys of peacetime and home-made jelly! You live or die when they decide, never realising how completely they've manipulated you, never grasping so much as a glimpse of true free will! All those around you will die as you march soullessly onwards, growing ever more weary and hoping for the sweet release of death until it finally takes your maligned husk, and you slip into anonymity." He paused for breath, "Also, Your genetics are inferior and your parents never loved you."

And while Survivalist was dealing with all that Steel used his powers to steal his gun and shot him with it. "On the battlefield, there is no place... for hippies."