Pokemon Umbral Theatre 36: We're Alone, We're Very Alone

[Astral Harmony]

Daisy the Swamphair Succubus-!

Daisy: "That's 'Disgruntled Trainer', you douchefag."

Chapter 3: A Li'l Taste of Escargot

Scene 1: An apartment that our group of heroes is renting out for as long as they will remain in Saltspray City.
Javier: *enters the living room from outside* "Hey, I bought us some groceries and-just what in the hell is she doing?"
*Daisy is holding a guitar in her hands with a headset on her head and a dance pad beneath her feet, frantically dancing, singing, and strumming the guitar. Chartreuse is sitting on the couch, watching her with relative disinterest.*
Chartreuse: "It's called Psychotic Smorgasbord. Basically, some indie developer got a crazy-as-fuck idea of bringing Karaoke Revolution, Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution into a single experience."
Javier: "Huh. How successful was the idea?"
Chartreuse: "I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that Daisy may be the only person with the ridiculous coordination skills to actually do all three activities at the same time on Psychopath Mode. But the game sold a lot when it was released because of the tag line 'Lose Weight Like Effing Crazy', which made it a huge hit with women on diets."
Javier: "It certainly sounds...involving."
Daisy: *Finishes the stage.* "97% Guitar Accuracy, 100% Dance Accuracy, and 94% Vocal Accuracy. Well, it's not perfect, but I guess it's better than last time."
Javier: "Just don't get too addicted to that game, Daise."
Daisy: "Huh? Why not? If I don't keep my great figure, you won't love me anymore, right?"
Chartreuse: "Daisy saying something cute? Alert the masses, the apocalypse is approaching."
Javier: "Daise, that's not true at all, but there is such a thing as too skinny. I mean, I can see the bottom of your rib cage. Anymore of that and you'll look like a Bible Black girl."
Daisy: "You say that like it's a bad thing, but I guess you got a point. So is there any meat in that grocery bag or what?"
*Lucille, Angelique and Brodic return.*
Daisy: "Hey, you're back. Any good word on the street?"
Brodic: "Haven't seen Christophe all day."
Daisy: "My, that is good word! But more specifically, I mean about the other outpost."
Lucille: "I had a little luck. They weren't informed about me going rogue and reported that the communication system there is still up and running."
Daisy: "Then let's get dinner started early. I wanna be there before sundown."
Lucille: "Oh, is that Psychotic Smorgasbord?"
Daisy: "Yep. Y'wanna play?"
Lucille: "Nah, I can't keep up with it. Actually, my brother created that game. I told him he was a moron, but now he's a lot richer than me so I guess I'm the one with egg on my face."
Angelique: "Being superior isn't about being wealthy."
*Daisy gives Angelique a long stare.*
Angelique: "I stand by what I just said. My house, my clothes, and everything else was gathered naturally from the environment and created by hand until just recently. You really don't need a damn dime to live it up pretty well anywhere you go."
Daisy: "If you say so. C'mon, let's eat dinner and then head out to that outpost."

Scene 2: Port Alcadia. Christophe awakens to find himself sitting in a chair in a small room with a table and a security camera as the only other pieces of furniture. He isn't alone. There are two others in there with him, a man staring out the only window and a woman leaning against the wall.
Mystery Woman: "Ah, the sleeper awakens."
Christophe: "Huh? Wha?"
Mystery Woman: "My name is Escargot Vansaint, an operative of the Chariot organization. Over there is my partner, Gary Oak."
Christophe: "Chariot?"
Escargot: "Chariot is a special branch of the International Police. Just like how Honmyr has the Pokemon Advanced Tactics and Counterterrorism Agency, the rest of the world has Chariot. I mean, we really shouldn't be leaving the fate of the world in the hands of ten-year old kids, y'know?"
Gary: "Vansaint...the point?"
Escargot: "Oh right, the reason we brought you here. You are Christophe Coolidge of Coolidge Town, yes? We would like to ensure your safety by requesting that you stay away from Daisy Miltower."
Christophe: "What? But I can't do that! Mother and father, and Daisy's mother and father would be so cross with me if I were to simply let her do as she pleases."
Escargot: "Well, actually, that's exactly what you're doing. As far as combat is concerned, you are heavily disadvantaged considering she has custom firearms and you have..."
Gary: "A genetically-deficient Mareep, and not even one with a decent level."
Escargot: "Gee, sugarcoat it a little less for him, Gary. I don't think he realizes the gravity of his lack of preparation."
Gary: "Well, you keep tiptoeing around the damn situation. Look, Coolidge, let the two of us take care of Miltower."
Christophe: "No, I can do it! Let me try!"
Escargot: "...Well, what do you think, Gary?"
Gary: "Aside from Miltower, it's too peaceful here in Jurich and even with us two being the only Chariot operatives in the entire landmass, we're still dicking around with nothing to do. So, let's do this. Miltower probably has two destinations in mind for where she's going to go next, Outpost #7 and here in Port Alcadia, but I suspect that Outpost #7 is going to be the one place she'll choose. Vansaint, you will take Christophe with you to Outpost #7. Let him see just how dangerous it is to continue to pursue Daisy when he has no means of stopping her. I will remain here just in case she actually does come here."
Christophe: "You're...not going to kill her, are you?"
Escargot: "Of course not. All she's done is beat down a few of the Fear Vanguard troopers and their Pokemon. Hardly a crime, in our opinion, and not even worth us investigating."
Gary: "But if we simply allow Daisy nothing but freedom in Jurich, there may be greater troubles on the horizon. Anyways, you should leave now, Escargot. I don't think Miltower's going to wait for you to get into position."

Scene 3: Near the restricted area of Outpost #7. Daisy and company are strollin' right on up to the gate.
Lucille: "So, do any of you feel like talking about yourselves?"
Daisy: "Whadayamean, Lucille?"
Angelique: "Well, I can sort of understand how she feels. We've all known each other for years, and here Lucille is, the odd one out."
Daisy: "Ah. I don't really like talking about myself, though. Chartreuse, you love saying words. Why don't you handle this one?"
Chartreuse: "Not sure if I know absolutely everybody's story, but sure, I'll wing it. Daisy Miltower was born and raised in Coolidge Town, an older childhood friend of a young and insignificant boy named Christophe Coolidge."
Daisy: "Calling Christophe 'insignificant' is an insult to insignificant people."
Chartreuse: "As you can expect, Daisy was destined for much greater things than living in a fuckhole of a town and being the doting wife of the mayor's mediocre son and the mother of his children. So, as soon as she was ten herself, she fled the town without even so much as getting a Pokemon Trainer's license and ventured as far as the next town where she met...uh, the rest of us. Even back then, me and Brodic were an item, Javier was living a carefree life, and Angelique lived in a personal settlement out in the woods by a nearby lake. We were all friends who more or less bid each other good days and whatnot, but we didn't really form any kind of close circle until Daisy more or less brought us all together."
Lucille: "I guess she sort of made an impression on you all, huh?"
Javier: "Even when we were kids, I fell hopelessly in love with Daisy the very moment I met her. Her enthusiasm, her energy, her personality...this girl was born to start a party and goddamn, her enduring spirit was infectious. It was kind of like...we were all living some kind of stable, boring lives and she was our one bridge to...I dunno, somewhere we'd never have been able to go without her. Somewhere that I never even knew existed but suddenly wanted to get to more than anything. I couldn't understand it as a child. I still don't understand it as a man. But even when I do and it's not what I want for myself, I'm still going to follow Daisy to hell and beyond."
Daisy: "I know how to pick 'em, don't I?"
Angelique: "Brodic and Chartreuse are on-again, off-again boyfriend and girlfriend looking for adventure, Daisy wishes to return to Honmyr more than anything, Javier is her helpless bondsman, and I tire of living day in and day out hunting, fishing, and gathering. I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with the lives we had before Daisy came along, but ever since we basked in her vitality, even I, who never really had any desires in my life except to eat, sleep, and live suddenly found something in my life missing. And now I can't possibly stop myself from moving forward."
Lucille: "Ah, so it's the whole 'extraordinary person gets other people involved in a grand journey' cliche. I can dig it."
Brodic: "The gate's in sight."
Lucille: "And a person is standing there that I wasn't hoping to encounter."
Daisy: "That woman? Wait, is that Christophe with her? The fuck is going on?"

Scene 4: Right in front of the gate to the restricted area of Outpost #7. Daisy and company close in one a group of Christophe, a woman they don't know, and four Fear Vanguard troopers.
Javier: "My love, if you'd do the honors."
Daisy: "Gladly."
*Daisy draws Javier's gift and her other handgun, twirls them in the air, then trains them towards the enemy group with a dramatic flair.*
Daisy: "Anyone who stands between me and that communications device is going home in a FUCKING BOX!!"
Javier: "I know how to pick 'em, don't I?"
Mystery Woman: "And a cordial greetings to you as well, Daisy Miltower. I'm glad I'm not the only one who knows how to fashionably wear a studded leather bustier and miniskirt."
Daisy: "I thank you for recognizing good fashion when you see it. So who might you be?"
Lucille: "She is Escargot Vansaint of the Chariot organization, a special branch of the International Police. They handle terrorism usually, a lot like what the Pokemon Advanced Tactics and Counterterrorism Agency does in Honmyr. Although from what I know, PATCA sees a lot more action and their tactics are a lot more varied and chaotic, which is curious since Chariot serves the entire rest of the world while PATCA mostly restricts itself to Honmyr."
Daisy: "So, an anti-terrorism specialist, eh? I'm curious to see if her combat skills match her inpeccable fashion sense."
Escargot: *draws two sawed-off double barrel shotguns* "I think my skills are unquestionable."
Christophe: "Wait, Miss Vansaint! I thought you said you weren't going to hurt her?"
Escargot: "Umm...you can see that she's aiming guns at us, do you not?"
Christophe: "Daisy, you've got to stop this! This is madness!"
Daisy: "Madness? This! Is! Spa-!"
Chartreuse: "No, don't! You're like my best friend, Swamphair, and I don't wanna see you killed in your prime by a falling bus!"
Daisy: "Oh, right, those weird people who hate Internet memes." *to Christophe* "A little punk-ass bitch like you wouldn't understand the ways of real warriors, Christophe. Seriously, what the fuck are you doing out here, anyways? If you had a death wish, I could've granted that back in the city."
Christophe: *growling* "Darn it! I'm deploying my Pokemon!"
*Christophe deploys his Mareep.*
Daisy: "Kawaii."
*Daisy shoots Christophe's Mareep. Mareep faints and is returned to the Pokeball.*
Daisy: "But I don't much care for kawaii things."
Escargot: *Sigh.* "My turn then, I guess."
Christophe: "Daisy, do you have any idea how cross your mother is going to be you when she hears about this?"
Daisy: "Yes. Now ask me if I give a fuck. Look, she's pretty much locked me down here in Jurich because she knows this is exactly what I would be doing, regardless. She could've taken away my guns, even stripped me naked, and I'd still be here, ready for a naked white knuckle throwdown."
Christophe: "..."
Daisy: "..."
Christophe: "..."
Daisy: "If you are imagining me and Escargot bare brawling, I'm going to shoot you in the face. And then I'm going to shoot you in the face again. ...I'm probably going to keep shooting your face until...well, until you run out of face."
Christophe: "Ergh...I'm going to ask you one last time, Daisy. Please return home and begin your Pokemon journey in earnest."
Daisy: "Christophe, that's just not going to work. I belong in Honmyr, and not just because I like being there more than I like being in Jurich. I just...when I first went to Honmyr, I knew. I knew it when my body and my mind were immersed in the Rezonscape. Honmyr's going to need me, Christophe, and that's why I'm not going to stop fighting. That's why I couldn't possibly take one step back!"
Christophe: "D-...Daisy..."
Escargot: "I'd say that's a proper indication of her refusal to back down. And I should admit that I'm glad she didn't."
*Escargot raises her shotguns.*
Escargot: "I've actually never gotten to use the twins outside of a firing range. Fear Vanguard, with me! We will defeat and arrest them!"
Angelique: *Whirls her spear and draws on the power of her befriended Pokemon.* "Now that the cheesy bullshit is out of the way, let us see how capable a Chariot operative is in stopping one pissed-off and determined disgruntled trainer."
Escargot: "Yes. Let us."
*A battle that is considerably more notable ensues, but Escargot and two Fear Vanguard troopers are no match for six spirited fighters.*

Scene 5: The interior of the Fear Vanguard base. But still-
Daisy: "Will the four of you go the fuck outside, already?! This shack isn't big enough for all six of us!"
Chartreuse: "But Lucille gets to stay?"
Daisy: "Of course she does. She's the one who actually knows how to use this damn thing. We don't have a lot of time before Escargot manages to scrounge up some reinforcements. So get out there and keep a fucking watch, damn it."
Lucille: "Okay, we're all set up. Making the connection now..."
Woman's Voice: "Hello, thank you for calling the Pokemon Advanced Tactics and Counterterrorism Agency. My name is Daphne, how may I serve you?"
Daisy: "There's no video, Lucille."
Daphne: "Huh?"
Lucille: "The recieving end must just be an audio line like a regular telephone. Hello there, my name is Daisy Miltower and I'd like to speak to my aunt, Irene Crosswald. Would that be possible at this time?"
Daphne: "You're the niece of Miss Crosswald? I never even knew she had one. Hmm...stand by and I'll see if she's not busy, then I'll either patch you through or take a message."
Lucille: "That's cool."
Daisy: "Huh. I'm pretty sure I met Daphne before. Why doesn't she know who I am?"
Lucille: "Well, with that slutty getup of yours, she probably thought Irene propositioned you for some lez action."
Daisy: "Keep that up and I'll somehow punch so deep into all that bright green hair that I might actually hit your head."
*Less than a minute passes and then an image shows up on the screen. Irene is viewed from the side, sitting at her desk. She stands up and walks over to the camera.*
Daisy: "Hey, mom!"
Irene: *Sigh.* "Y'know, Daisy, you really should just accept that my sister Yuzuna is your mother. You don't have to like it, but please try to accept it. I mean, I've already got a daughter and she's more than two handfuls as is."
Daisy: "Yep, she definitely is 'more than two handfuls', isn't she?"
Irene: "I see that once again, everything with you has to be a breast joke. So, Lucille, any luck?"
Daisy: "Huh?!"
Lucille: "Not as such, no. I'm just going to have to sneak on board a Fear Vanguard vessel and try to get to Honmyr that way."
Irene: "Are you sure you don't want my help in this?"
Lucille: "Nah, I think we can manage on our own. With any luck, we'll be off this island by tomorrow evening."
Irene: "Glad to hear it. Honmyr needs all the teenage prodigies it can get."
Daisy: "Hold up, how the hell do you two know each other?!"
Irene: "Just some correspondance, nothing more. No need to get jealous."
Daisy: "I-! I'm not jealous!"
Irene: "At least you got to sleep in my bed with me one night."
Daisy: "Ixnay on the eepingslay ogethertay, umbassday."
Lucille: "We should get going shortly. Daisy, I'm done here. Do you need to say anything before I shut this off?"
Daisy: "Irene..."
Irene: "I know, Daisy. A lot of people just 'know' when they come to this place that they truely belong here. I still say it's a mistake for me to get you involved in all this, but I have a feeling I'd just being making you unhappy if I threw away your wishes. I'll be waiting for you, no matter what happens."
Daisy: "Yeah. I can't wait to get back there. I'll see you soon!"
Irene: "Good luck, you all."
*The connection is cut.*
Lucille: "Let's get to Saltspray City. We'll need to strategize how we're going to break into the Fear Vanguard sector of Port Alcadia and stow away onto a ship."
Daisy: "Right."
Lucille: "So you really slept with Irene?"
Daisy: "Nothing sexual. I just wanted to be held by her for a night."
Lucille: "Hmm...yes, that does sound nice."

Scene 6: Port Alcadia infirmary, Fear Vanguard sector. Escargot is recovering from her wounds. Christophe and Gary are in the room with her.
Gary: "How are you holding up?"
Escargot: "Huh? Are you actually showing concern for me? I must look like absolute shit."
Gary: "Yes, but you kind of look like absolute shit all the time, so it's hard for me to tell just how severe your wounds are."
Escargot: "Want me to hop out of this bed and show you just how well I'm recovering?"
Christophe: "Mister Oak, stop it. Miss Vansaint, please just eat this oatmeal."
Escargot: "Alright, but I'm still not exactly comfortable with being spoon fed. Anyways, what did the supervisor say?"
Gary: "The Fear Vanguard's position in the White Wastelands is getting pretty bad. That ship has to leave on schedule or they might lose their foothold on Honmyr."
Christophe: "And if that's true, then Daisy is definitely going to try and sneak on board tomorrow night, right?"
Escargot: "Christophe, I think you understand the situation now. Please just go home, already. Daisy did all this damage to me and we actually had respect for each other. Imagine what she'd do to someone like you who she harbors only ill will for."
Christophe: "I'm not going to quit. I can't just go home. She's out of control and I feel like it's my fault for not stopping her when we were younger."
Escargot: "Okay, but we can't let you engage Daisy, either. As you are, you're just a huge liability that we can't afford to bother with."
Christophe: "Hmm...what if I wasn't a liability?"
Escargot: "If you weren't, there maybe there'd be some use for you, but-"
Christophe: "Then I want you to train me!"
Gary: "Hmph. Fine."
Escargot: "Gary, what the hell?! This is rather uncharacteristic of you."
Gary: "Christophe may be just a weakling, and he understands that he's a weakling, but he's a weakling who won't stop trying to stop Daisy."
Escargot: "And what, you admire that?"
Gary: "No, but he's only going to get himself and that Mareep killed if he keeps this up, and he's going to keep it up even when it's bound to kill him. In other words, it couldn't hurt us to at least train the worthless piece of shit so that maybe he'll survive those occasions where he's pissed Daisy off. We've got time to kill."
Escargot: "I...guess that makes sense. I would sort of feel like his death would be my fault if I just told him to leave and watched him die when he stubbornly refused to go home. Alright, then. Christophe Coolidge."
Christophe: "Yes?"
Escargot: "Starting now, you are an intern of the Chariot organization. Operative Oak is your commanding superior. I am the second-in-command. If you're determined to stop Daisy no matter what, you're going to do it by our rules. Is that clear?"
Christophe: "..."
Escargot: "Is that fucking clear?!"
Christophe: "Y-yes ma'am!"
Gary: "We don't have long until tomorrow night to slap you into shape, Intern Operative Coolidge, so leave that bowl of oatmeal there and follow me outside. You training begins immediately."
Christophe: "What will my first bit of training involve?"
Gary: *shrug* "Pain."

-------------------------------------------------------------

And now, a new omake series!

Pierce & Impact Go To Whitecastle, Roadtrip 1: ...And Wreck Their Rig En Route To the Mission!

*Impact and Pierce are facing off against each other on a speeding train racing along a track that bends around a mountain range. The purple mist suggests this location to be the Miasma Mountain Range, and there's a strong rain smashing down onto the two warriors. Impact brandishes his Dragon Slave while Pierce clutches his ghost lance tightly enough for his knuckles to turn pale white.*

Pierce: *narration* "Please listen to my story...this may be my last chance..."

*Let's do the Time Warp again!*

*Impact is driving a Rig with Pierce in the passenger seat. Their destination is a highway intersection where Irene is waiting for them to pick up something called an Ashen Knight.*
Impact: "So, how's the Haremon thing going?"
Pierce: "It's strange. Somehow we got the PC Storage System working in a way that would support us Haremeisters, and now all I think about when I use it is that I'm creating a porn database. French Maids, School Swimsuits, bleh. I'm surprised to say this, but somehow I've discovered that even I have limits when it comes to shameless indecency."
Impact: "...For some reason, I'm still glad I'm not involved in that whole mess."
*The Rig goes straight.*
Pierce: "Impact, you missed the turn. We were supposed to go right."
Impact: "This is right."
Pierce: "No, that was straight."
Impact: "That's right."
Pierce: "No, it's left! I mean 'wrong'! Damn it, go back!"
Impact: "Relax, man, we got time. I just wanna get a bite to eat."
Pierce: "Seriously? All we're doing to having a giant steampunk mecha thing load itself up into the Rig. Five minutes, tops. We can probably stop by a restaurant right after, anyways."
Impact: "Look, dude, this is happening so just deal with it. I'll even treat you."
Pierce: "You're...uncharacteristically nice."
Impact: "Yeah, well, I know you probably don't have any money trying to charm the panties off of any girl you happen to favor."
Pierce: "They're all good girls who deserve good things."
Impact: "So why must they suffer with having you as a boyfriend, then? As much as I hate you with every fiber of my being, I still don't get why you don't just use your charms. I'm pretty sure you didn't even get Shizuka a dozen roses before she gave it up."
Pierce: "There's a...principle to it all. I want to be more to them than a piece of meat. And vice versa."

*The Rig pulls into a restaurant parking lot.*
Impact: "Aww, yeah, this is the place."
Pierce: "Dude, this is Whitecastle."
Impact: "Yes, this is Whistecastle. Did the large sign give it away?"
Pierce: "It's just that...well, Whitecastle is okay, but there are certainly better restaurants. Closer ones, too. And less expensive."
Impact: "We're doing this."
*At the drive thru ordering window.*
Impact: "Ummm...I'd like a number two combo, large coke, large fries, and a ten piece order of cheese sticks."
Pierce: "What an oddly specific order. It's like a certain person who created Pokemon Umbral eats here on occasion."
Impact: "What do you want?"
Pierce: "I dunno, just some chicken sliders or something. Since we're here anyways, I might as well get something."
*Impact confirms the order and pulls up to the window.*
Impact: "Hmm...that's odd."
Pierce: "Hmm?"
Impact: "I seem to have forgotten my wallet."
Pierce: "Classic. Forget it, then. Let's just go to the mission, then. Irene's probably already wondering where the fuck we are."

*At the highway intersection.*
Irene: "I'm already wondering where the fuck they are."

*Back at Whitecastle.*
Pierce: "See? ...Hmmm...and she's already planning to wear all sorts of sexy costumes for some hot cosplay action tonight."

*Back at the highway intersection.*
Irene: "And I'm already planning to use my swords to carve out Pierce's cardiovascular system and feed it to Dark Charlotte if his ass isn't here by the time the rest of my patience dies away."

*Back at Whitecastle again.*
Pierce: "Well, can't say that I didn't try. Alright, Impact, do something about this."
Impact: "I don't have my wallet, dumbass. I can't pay for this food if I don't have my damn wallet."
Pierce: "Well, what do we do?"
Impact: "Well, don't you have any money?"
Pierce: "Oh, uhh...let me see here...yes, this much."
Impact: "I think we can make this work."
Pierce: "You sure? I don't think this is enough."
Impact: "No, it's fine, we'll just cancel the chicken sliders."
Pierce: "The fuck?! Hell no, that's my money so you will get those chicken sliders! And you don't have to go hungry, just get small fries and a small coke and do away with those damn cheese sticks."
Impact: "If there is one thing I'll never do in this life, it's forsake cheese sticks."
Pierce: "But that's my money!"
Impact: "But I'm the PATCA Chief!"
Pierce: "But only because you got down on your knees in front of Irene and begged for it!"
Impact: "Yeah, but I've only gotten down on my knees in front of Irene and begged for it once. You do it about three times a day!"
*Needless to say, this explodes into a fierce fight. Impact accidentally steps on the gas during the struggle and the Rig plows forward. Alarmed, Impact tries to regain control, but the Rig flies out of the parking lot and slides into a ditch.*
Pierce: "Owww, my fuckin' head. Impact, you idiot! ...Huh? Impact?"
*Impact is nowhere to be seen, but the rest of the Rig is empty and no evidence suggests we was thrown outside. Pierce crawls out of the wreckage and surveys the Rig.*
Pierce: "Damn it, one of the headlights is cracked. Some paint lost. Thank god the tires are okay. But where the hell did Impact go?"
Impact: *at the drive thru window* "So, about that combo meal..."
*Pierce, frustrated, waits by the Rig for Impact to return.*
Impact: "Oh, I'm going to enjoy this."
Pierce: "I don't know why you should bother eating it. Irene's gonna disembowel the both of us when she sees what's happened to the Rig and the food is just gonna fall out of the hole in your abdomen. Damn it, the wheels aren't even touching and the Rig is too heavy for my Pokemon to move it out of the ditch, nevermind the damage! Forget disembowelment, Irene's gonna slice us thin and sell us as deli sandwich meat."
Impact: "I'm sure she won't kill her boyfriend...would she?"
Pierce: "You might be right, but I still don't want her to see what's happened to the Rig. Let's think. We'll need a professional automechanic to pull this thing out of the ditch, and of course we'll also need money for repairs. Impact, we should hurry back to PATCA HQ to get your wallet."
Impact: "Oh, no need for that. I sort of don't have any money right now anyways."
Pierce: "What?! Where the hell did all your money go?"
Impact: "Oh, I bought some boots like the ones Santa Claus wears that would bring the wearer under my total control, but I could only get them in one size. They were too small, but the business closed down shortly before I tried to return them and now I'm stuck trying to sell them on e-bay to get at least some of the money back."
Pierce: "Santa Claus boots?"
Impact: "Yeah."
Pierce: "Santa Claus boots."
Impact: "Yep."
Pierce: "That's funny, because last Christmas I was trying to dress up as Santa Claus and I found these boots that were too small for me."
Impact: "Well, I'm sure it's only a mere coincidence. But don't worry, I think I know a very quick way to get the money together. Then we'll get the Rig out of the ditch, have it repaired in no time, eat a feast of Whitecastle, and Irene will be none the wiser."

*Back at the highway intersection.*
Police Chief Jenny: "You know, maybe those two went to some restaurant, got into a fight because they didn't have the money to pay for the food, accidentally drove the Rig into a nearby ditch, and are trying to find a quick way to make money in order to get it out of the ditch, have it repaired in no time, dine once more at the restaurant, and you would be none the wiser."
Irene: "Oh, I think you're just exaggerating."

[Astral Harmony]

Armored Bishoujo presents...

The Religions of Honmyr: a report by Odele Mournheart, a spiritual guide of the religions in Honmyr, currently residing in St Librim Chapel in Fainas Metropolis.

Odele: "Aww, man, and I was just about to head out to the Mouse Hole for a drink or seven. What? I may represent any number of religious orders, but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to drink. But if it will get you to leave me alone, I'll give you a brief rundown of the various religions of Honmyr, in which there are many. However, we can generally group it down into a mere handful of different parties."

"So, here in Honmyr, you've got your Celestialists, Infernalists, Xenotologists, Legacists, and good ol' fashioned athiests. Athiests don't believe in any kind of higher power. 'Nough said about them. Legacists, on the other hand, are worshippers of various legendary and non-legendary Pokemon. Some of them might worship those legendary birds, some worship the gods of time and space, but even if they were to merely worship the common Bidoof or Bellsprout, we all group these people into the catch-all term of Legacist."

"Now, in order to tell you about the Celestialists, the Infernalists, and the Xenotologists, I'd need to tell you about Honmyr's biggest legend, based around genuine ancient history. So listen carefully, because I don't think I can explain it any more simpler than this. About seventeen-hundred years ago, not far from the dawn of the ancient Fahngrest Empire, mankind lived deep underground in caves. Why? Because the Fiend Pokemon had total control of the world above. Fiend Pokemon can be described as being a superior kind of Pokemon, but one clearly unable to make friends with humans. In fact, they butchered humans on sight. Then one day, a large creature appears before a young man. This creature is the Celestial Beast, Arcanael. And the young man was Rezonark, referred to in our scriptures as the Infernal Champion. And this is where you probably recalled that two of the groups are called Celestialists and Infernalists, right? Well, hang on, I'm getting to that part in a bit."

"Anyways, Arcanael and Rezonark formed a dynamic duo for the purpose of solidifying mankind's grasp on the Pokemon World, but the only way they could do that is by driving away the Fiend Pokemon, and they simply didn't have enough power with just the two of them. Thus, they went on a great journey to acquire six powerful artifacts called Arkments that would change humanity's fate forever. And they succeeded. We don't really know if the Fiend Pokemon were destroyed entirely, but rumors abound on Honmyr's Pokenet about sightings of unknown Pokemon in various areas throughout the landmass. But I digress. It is at this point that the legend splits, and this is where we get the divided groups of Celestialists and Infernalists. All we know is that there's some kind of betrayal. Celestialists believe that Rezonark became drunk from the power of the Arkments and Arcanael banded with the humans to defeat him, then sealed the Arkments away so that they could never be misused again. But the Infernalists believe that Arcanael was the betrayer, and stripped Rezonark of the Arkments to cripple his power and destroyed him, then forced the humans to seal the Arkments away so they could never be used against him. And that's generally where the whole religion ends. Celestialists worship Arcanael while Infernalists worship Rezonark but despite this, the two groups have not become hostile towards each other, which just goes to show how wonderful an open and accepting mind can be."

"Huh? The Xenotologists? Ahh, yeah, about those guys. Well, there's this popular little rumor circulating around the Pokenet that perhaps Arcanael isn't a Pokemon at all, like pretty much everyone else believes, and that in actuality he's an alien. You know the Dual Technologies Theorem or whatever they call it, right? Where somehow we have advanced technologies like teleportation devices and Pokeballs and computer systems that can transfer Pokemon like they were nothing but electronic data but yet our houses are very normal and kids are riding bicycles and our clothes are just kinda blah? The Xenotologists believe that Arcanael is the reason behind all the advanced technology we possess, and helped Rezonark defeat the Fiend Pokemon just so that Arcanael can present the technology to the humans that could use it. All in all, a lot of people thinks it's a crackpot hypothesis, but no one's ever been able to provide a solid counter arguement as to where all the hyper-advanced technology originates from. Anyways, the Xenotologists are generally opposed to all other religions, even Celestialists who also worship Arcanael, and have even gotten a little rowdy. We actually had a riot last week that required the Police Force to break it up. Eleven civilians sent to the hospital, I heard. Anyways, that's it."

Jonessa: "Hmm. Interesting. Well, thank you for your time, Miss Mournheart. I have to say, you handled the interview pretty well considering the cameraman's been ogling your breasts pretty much the entire time. Seriously, what the heck does a woman have to eat to grow them like that?"
Odele: "I don't think I do anything special."
Cameraman: "Ergh...sorry...about looking."
Odele: "Oh, it doesn't bother me much. I'm actually quite blind so I can't tell."
Jonessa: "Bwah?! How can that be, you looked so normal during the interview and when greeting us."
Odele: "Yeah, most people who come here to worship haven't realized that my eyes don't work, either. I've been living here for about four years so I know my way around well enough to appear natural. This guy named Cole takes care of me from time to time, doing all my outdoor errands and whatnot. He should be here any minutes, so if you'll please excuse me, I'm going to lock up the chapel and head out."

[Aldurin]

Cram a Max Revive in my face and let's do it again! At least now Blackpearl should go down sooner.

[Menarker]

"Note to self: no more skimping on armor just to create a complex but overall stupid defense system," Moera said with a dismissive shrug. Is this chick serious?

I assume you meant Moeni.

I'll look at the battle stuff later, although I'd progress with the battle as it is. Hopefully Renny/Pierce's side won't take as long for you to finish, especially given the much smaller battle-size.

Anyhow, am kinda wondering if anyone wants me to edit anything in for them in the placeholder post.

EDIT: AB, Hyacinth was wearing a Divine Blessing acessory, which negates the most damaging attack she sustains per turn. Which in this case seems to be the first Avalauncher. Thus she'd be poisoned, but still alive at 87 hitpoints. Thank goodness. I was starting to get worried, what with Hyacinth AND Donovan being knocked out and Chizuru being possibly unable to help revive them due to being enflamed. We'd have to rely on Matthias to save the day! Well, more than he did already. She's also equipped with Holy Guard, which has a 50% chance of reducing an attack's damage by 50%.
Fortunately, due to her only fainting at the end of the round due to poison, you don't have to see if she would have lived enough enough to continue attacking.

[Astral Harmony]

You gots it, Hoss. Lemme work my magicks.

EDIT: Okay, I think that did it. Fixed typos, Hyacinth is alive with 36 HP, her two Witch Clones are ripe for action and Bad Poison has been restored. Holy Guard rolls are terrible.

[Menarker]

Cool. Next post should be much quicker. When I can get time to work on the post that is. (Has homework to do)

Also, has anyone seen or heard from Relm these days? Gem and Dante we already know are chronically absent due to real life, but Relm usually tend to be pretty active...

[Astral Harmony]

Armored Bishoujo presents...

Daisy the Disgruntled Trainer, Act II: Belzybrand, Chapter I: One Step Forward & Two Steps Back...& Then A Large Jump

- Now With Daisy's Theme!

Scene I: Just your average Route connecting cities, towns, dungeons, all that jazz.
*Daisy sprints down the road for nearly a minute, looking very suspicious with the gun in her right hand, then finally comes to rest near a tree.*
- Young Boy: "Our eyes just met, so that means we should have a Pokemon battle!"
*Daisy aims her 9mm handgun at the Young Boy's face.*
- Young Boy: "And by 'we' I mean 'I' and by 'have a Pokemon battle' I mean 'go over there and sulk'."
- Daisy: "You sure fuckin' better."
*Daisy feels exhausted enough to collapse right at the tree but can't bring herself to get off of her aching legs.*
- Daisy: "Okay, gotta think. Plan A worked almost perfectly. The only thing that didn't work out is that I'm not on the damn ship. Hopefully that distraction proved effective enough that the others can get to Honmyr without being caught, and I think I can count on Lucille to help the others out. ...Holy fucking shit, how did one bullet at an machine oil drum start such a massive chain reaction of explosions? Pretty much gutted the whole damn warehouse. I can still see the billowing smoke from here. Well, at least putting out those fires and stuff will keep the feds busy. Hope nobody's dead...except maybe that Escargot bitch. I'm the only one in Jurich allowed to look that hot in a miniskirt and be that badass with firearms."
*Daisy starts walking again.*
- Daisy: "If my mom isn't after my ass with a katana before, she certainly is now. Maybe I should turn myself in so she doesn't kill me. But she can probably cut right through the prison bars."
- Bespectacled Blonde With Stupid Hat: "Oh! Hey there!"
- Daisy: "All my friends are on that ship now so who can I talk to or get help from? Mavelyn sounds like a good idea. Ranbuki as well but he's kinda..."
- Very Irritating Bespectacled Blonde With Stupid Hat: "May I please talk to you about something?"
- Daisy: "That may have been my only chance off this rock. Just what'm I gonna do now?"
- Very Irritating Bespectacled Blonde With Stupid Hat Who Is About To Dine On A Fucking Hollow Point If She Doesn't Piss Off: "Oh, please don't ignore me!"
- Daisy: "Good God, what the hell do you want?!"
- Blonde With Stupid Hat: "Well uhh...if you don't mind my saying so, I think your Pokemon are unhappy with you."
- Daisy: "Tell those self-entitled twats that the feeling is mutual. Seriously, they're 'only' unhappy? Golgothica was in that damn PC storage box for fuckin' years."
*Daisy starts to leave, but the blonde girl with the stupid hat calls after her.*
- Blonde With Stupid Hat: "Oh, I know I'm imposing, but do you happen to know of a Pokemon called Belzybrand?"
- Daisy: "'Course I do. It's the only legendary Pokemon here in Jurich, but it spends most of its time flying above the ocean at...mach...speeds..."
*Daisy's annoyed eyes immediately widen. Suddenly she's on the edge of a cliff, staring off into the sun with a massive tidal wave crashing against the rocks below.*
- Daisy: "THAT'S FUCKING IT!! Belzybrand! That's my ticket off this rock! I've gotta get Belzybrand!"
- Blonde With Stupid Hat: "You're going to capture Belzybrand? Really?"
*Daisy returns to reality.*
- Daisy: "It's either that or accept responsibility for my awful actions, and screw that. But I don't think I can reach the summit of Mt. Sugaroma by myself."
- Blonde With Stupid Hat: "Ummm...well, do you think you could take me with you? I'm a Pokemon Trainer and all and it's really important!"
- Daisy: "Hmph. Since you're offering, but you're not coming with me like that."
- Blonde With Stupid Hat: "Huh? Is something wrong with me?"
- Daisy: "Seriously? You're dressed like you're about to go to a church social. And not even one where you meet a cute, innocent guy to make fun of him and his 'life partner' Chett but the ones where old ladies go to discuss cassarole recipes 'n' shit. And you could sustain a Snorlax for a week with that feed bag on your head."
- Blonde With Stupid Hat: "But I really like these clothes. And my hat."
- Daisy: "Pick one or the other. Belzybrand or dumbass clothes."
- Blonde With Stupid Hat: "Ergh...ummm..."
*Daisy turns to leave. The blonde with the stupid hat looks about to cry.*
- Blonde With Stupid Hat: "Fine! I'll go with you, I'll go with you, just please don't leave me!"
- Daisy: "Good girl. I'm Daisy Miltower. But don't get too hung up on the name, I'm not a flowery kind of girl."
- Blonde With Stupid Hat: "I see. My name is Bianca. I'm from the Unova Region."
- Daisy: "Unova?! Good lord, girl, you've come a long effin' way. And Unova's probably a much more entertaining place that this floating chunk of nothing out in the middle of nowhere. What could possibly have made you come here?"
- Bianca: "The Convergence Event. Professor Juniper, the Pokemon Professor of Unova, is certain that Belzybrand is the next in line of legendary Pokemon to go to Honmyr."
- Daisy: "Isn't that kind of a wild shot in the dark?"
- Bianca: "Well, more like because Belzybrand is the only legendary Pokemon not currently in Honmyr."
- Daisy: "Okay, so maybe it's not so wild. So that's why you want to go with me."
- Bianca: "Yes. So umm...you had a problem with my clothes?"
- Daisy: "Yeah, just come with me. I have a couple destinations in mind, but we'd better take care of your fashion emergency."
- Bianca: *crying* "Eee-...emergency?"

Scene II: A city street.
*Daisy and Bianca have very recently exited a fashion store named the Pink Pulse. Biance's hat is now gone and her curve-accentuating trendy clothes could cause a five-car pileup. Her hair has also been completely let down and her glasses have been removed.*
- Bianca: "Daisyyyyyyyy..."
- Daisy: "What the hell is it now?"
- Bianca: "So many men are staring at me."
- Daisy: "It's a little something called 'sex appeal', Bianca, and you've got it in spades. Those guys are all going to have a special evening with one Palma Wright."
- Bianca: "This 'Palma Wright' is going to date all of them in one night? She must be a really friendly girl!"
- Daisy: "That she is, Bianca, that she is. Anyways, can you let go of my arm? You're getting your boob sweat all over it."
- Bianca: "I-! I just can't! Their stares are all over me!"
- Daisy: "I just hope Armored Bishoujo doesn't take this as an excuse to ship us together or something."
*Armored Bishoujo slowly grins broader and broader.*
- Daisy: "Don't you fuckin' dare! I like men! Men, damn you!"
- Bianca: "I'm starting to think leaving Unova was the single biggest mistake I've ever made."
- Daisy: "Oh, it's only going to get worse, because I've just run into someone I'm going to hate just slightly less than Christophe."
*A young, dark-skinned male in decent city clothes is frantically searching the streets. Daisy raises her free arm and waves it, the other one having become the permanent possession of Bianca.*
- Daisy: "Hey, Captain Incest, over here."
*Daisy calls loudly enough to attract the man's attention and waits for him to approach. He clears the distance of about forty paces in a split second.*
- Ranbuki: "Daisy! Where is she?! WHERE IS SHE?!"
- Daisy: "Angelique is on a ship heading straight for Honmyr."
*Ranbuki prepares to sprint off straight for the ocean, but Daisy aims a gun at the floor near him and fires, stopping him dead in his tracks.*
- Bianca: "Guns are much louder in real life than on television."
- Daisy: "Look, I'm heading off to Honmyr soon myself, and if you're a good boy, you get to come with me."
- Ranbuki: "..."
- Daisy: "I'll tell Angelique how wonderful and brave you've been."
- Ranbuki: "I accept."
*Bianca feels comfortable enough now to release her deathgrip on Daisy's arm.*
- Bianca: "He's interesting. Who is this person, Daisy?"
- Daisy: "This is Ranbuki Seigan. He's a strong and handsome guy, but his heart belongs to his sister. And yes, I mean for all the wrong reasons. Angelique, his sister, can barely tolerate him. He wouldn't be so bad a guy if he knew the clear difference between loving your sister and fetishizing her."
*Bianca returns to having Daisy's arm in a tight lock.*
- Ranbuki: "That's a terrible thing to say! Our relationship is completely normal."
- Daisy: "So throughly and lovingly washing your sister's undergarments is normal?"
*Ranbuki cringes as though an arrow pierced him in the chest.*
- Daisy: "And requesting to bathe with her and sleep in the same bed with her is normal?"
*Ranbuki collapses to his knees from the mighty blow dealt by Daisy's tongue.*
- Daisy: "And I've lost count of all the men you've put in the hospital for just so much as talking to Angelique."
*Ranbuki appears to be fighting a losing battle against unconsciousness. One of his hands shakingly reaches for Daisy in a vain attempt to snatch mercy.*
- Daisy: "You cook for her too, which normally isn't bad, but why do you insist on making all of her meals heart-shaped?"
*Ranbuki dies.*
- Bianca: "It's super effective."
- Daisy: *sighs.* "Look, yes, your sister really loved being with you and doing everything with you when you were both very young kids and I'm sure it was heartwarmingly cute although I was never there to confirm this, but she's grown up into a strong, independent woman and you need to accept that."
*Ranbuki cries.*
- Bianca: "Daisy, he looks utterly destroyed."
- Daisy: "Right. Buck up, Ranbuki, I need your help and if you help me, I'll unite you with your precious little sister, alright?"
*Ranbuki revives instantly.*
- Ranbuki: "I understand."
- Daisy: "Excellent. Now, I need you to help me get to Belzybrand's lair. I wish to leave for Honmyr that way."
- Ranbuki: "But how will you get to Honmyr that way? ...Oh. Belzybrand. You would need to fight through its numerous offspring."
- Bianca: "Besides, Belzybrand hasn't yet returned from overseas, has it?"
- Ranbuki: "No, it's here, which is a cause for concern. It's more than a month early. It's the latest hot topic all over Jurich."
- Daisy: "Latest hot topic?! Hey, I just blew up half of a seaport! I'm not looking to become famous and it's nice when someone acknowledges how destructive and cool my antics are."
- Bianca: "It may have something to do with the Convergence Event! Belzybrand might be preparing to leave for Honmyr."
- Daisy: "Not without me, it isn't. C'mon, Ranbuki, I need to go gather some supplies for the trip and find Mavelyn."
- Ranbuki: "Mavelyn? Isn't that Chartreuse's mother?"
- Daisy: "Yeah. I'm sure she'll wanna know that her daughter's off to Honmyr again and having a Pokebrid along for the ride should make me feel a lot safer."
- Bianca: "Pokebrid? A Pokemon Hybrid? Oh wow, I've never seen one before!"
- Ranbuki: "I don't know where she lives."
- Daisy: "I think she has an apartment around here, but around this time, she's gotta be shaking what her momma gave her in some club. I think she's been trying to find a new man even since her husband died."
- Ranbuki: "I'm not familiar with the clubs around here."
- Daisy: "I don't really do places like that, either. But she's the only Pokebrid on Honmyr now. She can't be that hard to find."

Scene III: A club called Mirror Shot.
*Daisy, Bianca, and Ranbuki arrive on the scene.*
- Daisy: "This place is bangin'. Mavelyn has to be inside."
- Bianca: "It's awfully loud in there. About as loud as an Exploud using Hyper Voice."
- Ranbuki: "So how do we get in? It seems kinda exclusive."
- Daisy: "Simple. We get in like this."
*Daisy walks up and wraps her arms around one of Ranbuki's arms.*
- Ranbuki: "Daisy?!"
- Bianca: "Oh, wow!"
- Daisy: "Now it's your turn, Bianca. Take Ranbuki's other arm like this."
- Bianca: "You-! You're kidding!"
*Daisy gives Bianca a long hard stare.*
- Bianca: "Aww, alright, but if I can't get married after this, I'm holding you responsible."
*Bianca hesitantly possesses Ranbuki's other arm.*
- Daisy: "Ranbuki! Forward, march!"
- Bouncer: "And just who do you think you are?"
- Daisy: "Dude, can you believe this guy?! He says he doesn't know you!"
- Ranbuki: "Should he know me?"
- Daisy: "Uhhh...durr? You really need to start watching your own movies at Pokestar Studios. Especially your debut movie, 'Incestion'. It's like Inception but you're trying to implant an idea in your sister's subconsciousness about-"
- Ranbuki: "We get it, ha ha, shut up."
*The bouncer gets a better look at Ranbuki.*
- Bouncer: "Oh, it's one 'a' you guys. Head on in, sir."
- Daisy: "One 'a' you guys? There's something special about Ranbuki after all?"
- Ranbuki: "That's hurtful, Daisy."
- Bouncer: "I guess you wouldn't know. This establish is run by a member of the Spiroch Tribe. As a result, Spiroch are allowed in, no problem. Though the two beautiful girls with you doesn't hurt matters."
- Bianca: "So I didn't have to hold onto his arm after all. That was so embarrassing!"
- Daisy: "How pure are you, seriously? Anyways, let's head on in."
*They enter Mirror Shot.*
- Ranbuki: "So where is she?"
- Daisy: "There. The one everyone's watching on the dance floor. I heard Chartreuse say that Mavelyn was always a party animal, but I thought she was just exaggerating."
*Daisy, with Bianca and Ranbuki in tow, breaks through the crowd to meet up with Mavelyn.*
- Bianca: "Wow, she really is a Pokemon Hybrid! So cool!"
- Daisy: "You're looking a little lonely on the dance floor there."
- Mavelyn: "Sorry, I'm not that kind of woman. But gimme that handsome guy with you and a few drinks...and maybe the blonde..."
- Bianca: "Meep."
- Daisy: "Mavelyn Mapleseed, it's me, Daisy Miltower. I was wondering if you were interested to know your daughter's going back to Honmyr?"
- Mavelyn: "I guess it's that time for her, huh? She's always talked about her and Brodic getting hitched and buying a decent house over there."
- Daisy: "Well, uhh...actually, I was wondering if maybe you would like to go back to Honmyr, too? With me?"
*Mavelyn looks thoughtful for a second or three.*
- Mavelyn: "Eh, sure."
- Daisy: "That was quick."
- Mavelyn: "I'm quick and rational when it comes to making reasonable decisions. Honestly, the only reason I come to this club is to try and meet Samano, because I think he might just be the one for me...ergh, the next one for me."
- Daisy: "Samano?"
- Mavelyn: "He's a member of the Spiroch Tribe and he owns this club. He's some kind of wealthy philanthropist type and he's the most desired bachelor in all of Jurich. I've heard that he literally throws money as a way to dealing damage in a combat situation!"
- Daisy: "Sounds like someone I could get along with. I like striking people with metal objects, too."

*Suddenly, the doors burst open. The bouncer staggers in and collapses into a big, muscular heap on the dance floor. The lights instantly come on and the music stops as policemen pour into the room, causing the crowd to give way. Escargot and Christophe enter the room.*
- Escargot: "Alright, settle down, everybody. I'd ask if anyone has seen a certain woman but she's right in front of me. Now if the rest of you will just remain where you are and stay quiet, we'll make the arrest and leave you alone."
*Escargot, Christophe, and four police officers advance on Daisy.*
- Escargot: "Nice job at Port Alcadia, Daisy Miltower. I didn't actually have any authority to arrest you until you attacked me at the outpost, but after that firestorm I can put you behind bars for a very, very long time. Now I want you on the floor and your hands crossed behind your back."
- Bianca: "Daisy! You're...you're a criminal?"
- Daisy: "Umm...dur?"
- Escargot: "You, the Spiroch tribesman, and the...Vespiquen Pokemon Hybrid? Whatever, just clear out of the way. We have no business with you."
*Escargot pulls out some handcuffs and draws closer, but Ranbuki gets in the way.*
- Daisy: "Ranbuki?"
- Escargot: "What are you doing? Get out of the way or be arrested with her for obstructing justice."
- Ranbuki: "She is the only way I can find my sister. I won't let you take her!"
- Escargot: "Fine, then. Arrest him, too."
- Large Spiroch Man: "Now what do we have going on here?"
*A large tribesman wearing very stylish clothes that leave his mighty chest exposed literally dances onto the floor.*
- Mavelyn: "Mister Samano!"
- Samano: "Pardon me, lady officer, but I don't believe you have a warrant for searching my premises."
- Escargot: "That's correct, the police may not have one, but I don't belong to them. I'm a member of the Chariot organization, and we can investigate without any red tape to interfere with us."
- Samano: "Ah, I see. Then I guess I'll just have to enact my Samanosphere."
- Escargot: "S-Samanosphere?"
- Samano: "Yeah, baby, yeah! Basically, it states that all fine ladies in my club are under my personal protection. And you also beat down my best friend. And in my language, that means you're more than ready for a face-stompin'."
- Escargot: "Now look, I'm being really reasonable and-"
*Samano knocks Escargot to the ground with a blast of shiny coins.*
- Samano: "Keep the change."
- Daisy: "I wanted to fight her myself, but I don't mind if you want to throw in your two cents."
- Samano: "My Samanosphere doesn't protect women who steal all of my coin puns."
- Escargot: "Ow! Motherfucker! Arrest him, men! Arrest the lot of them!"
- Bianca: "Does that mean I'm a criminal, now?! This can't be happening! This isn't happening!"
*Daisy draws her guns and deploys two Pokemon.*
- Daisy: "It's happening, babe. Now if you want a chance to see the next dawn without prison bars being in the way, you'll put those Pokeballs to work."
- Mavelyn: "Mister Samano, that probably wasn't a good idea!"
- Samano: "Just 'Samano' is fine, baby. And don't worry, this isn't the first time ol' Samano tangled with the po-po. Certainly not gonna be the last, either. C'mon, y'all, it's time to start this party right!"
- Ranbuki: "Looks like the girl in the miniskirt was a little too confident of a sure capture. I think we can defeat them all."
- Bianca: "Daisy, you're a horrible person!"
- Daisy: "Funny. I don't recall saying anything to the contrary."
- Christophe: "Daisy, you have to stop this! I can still maybe protect you from a jail sentence!"
- Daisy: "Piss off, Christophe (hey, that rhymes!). I'm going to Honmyr, and if that means kicking enough ass that I'll have to burn these boots later, then that's what I'm going to do."

Scene IV: An extremely gaudy mansion, the home of Samano.
*Daisy, Bianca, Ranbuki, and Mavelyn gather in the main room when Samano returns home.*
- Samano: "Looks like my friend will be okay, he jus' got rough't up a li'l."
- Daisy: "That's a relief. He seemed like an okay guy. Sorry about all this."
- Samano: "Eh, it's cool. Actually, I'm a fan of yours, Daisy."
- Daisy: "A fan? I'm not a celebrity or anything."
- Samano: "You are to me, baby. The Spiroch Tribe used to be a strong, proud and protective group of people who valued honor and strength in battle. Nowadays, we're just another damn minority. A dying breed, if you will. Not like we were conquered or anything, we just...declined as a people when being a warrior took a back seat to capitalism. Maybe we lost our ambition. But seeing the warrior in you is bringing out the warrior in me again, Daisy. And it's like finding an old suit in my closet, dusting it off and putting it on, and finding out that it's still my favorite suit of all."
- Daisy: "Umm...I'm glad? Anyways, I'm really thankful for you and I'd just love to show my appreciation anyway I could, but I can't stay here. I've got to get to Mt Sugaroma."
- Samano: "Oh? Why's that, baby?"
- Bianca: "She wants to capture the legendary Pokemon Belzybrand in order to use it to get to Honmyr."
- Ranbuki: "I'm going with her in order to unite with my own sister, but also because it's dangerous and...well, Belzybrand has returned far sooner than it usually does. As a member of the Spiroch Tribe, I'm very concerned about this."
- Mavelyn: "Oh, so that's where we're going next, huh?"
- Daisy: "Yeah. Would you like to come with us, Mavelyn?"
- Samano: "Yeah, would you like to come with us, Mavelyn?"
- Mavelyn: "Well, I dunno, I...wait, what?"
- Daisy: "Samano?"
- Samano: "If you're planning on taking Belzybrand across the ocean to Honmyr, could I trouble you to give me a lift?"
- Daisy: "I'm not sure that Belzybrand's going to feel like helping me anyways, but why do you want to go?"
- Samano: "I may have become filthy rich and I may have lost track of what it means to be a Spiroch, but I haven't forgotten what it means to be a warrior. Tell me something, baby, why do you wish to go to Honmyr?"
- Daisy: "Well, I just can't stand it here."
- Samano: "Is that all?"
- Daisy: "...No, that's not all. I think Honmyr is where I need to be, Samano. Where my destiny awaits me. I mean, I'm a very good fighter, and I don't mean to gloat but I think I have the potential of becoming even stronger than this. But not here in Jurich. Jurich can't help me. And I can't help Jurich. But I can help Honmyr."
- Samano: "Well said, baby. Spoken like a true Spiroch!"
- Daisy: "I'm not of the Spiroch Tribe, though."
- Samano: "The Spiroch Tribe is about more than just a nice tanned skin tone and about our ability to communicate deeply with Pokemon. There's much more to it than that. And as for me, I have to admit I'm very curious about Honmyr myself. I'm tired of just running my club and ignoring what my instincts have been screaming at me for years. And when Belzybrand returned so soon and you came into my club, I knew these were signs. The people have given so much to me. It's about time I gave back something in return."
- Mavelyn: "But you donate hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to the people, Samano. I think you give back plenty."
- Samano: "No, baby. This is on an entirely different scale. So, Daisy, will you let me come to Honmyr with all of you?"
- Daisy: "Pfft. Denying your wishes would be just like denying my own. Welcome aboard, Samano. Just make sure you teach me some of those dance moves sometime."
- Hiroshiho Girl In A Skintight Battle Suit: "Master Samano, I've prepared your luggage, as requested."
- Samano: "Oh, and her, too."
- Daisy: "That girl, too? I hope Belzybrand has room."
- Samano: "Introduce yourself to the others, baby."
- Hiroshiho Girl In A Skintight Battle Suit: "My name is Dolores Ichijo. I am pleased to make all of your acquaintences."
- Samano: "If we're trying to scale Mt Sugaroma, we're going to need all the fighting ability we can get. And Dolores here knows her way around blades...and chains...and blades attached to chains that can be fired like a hookshot."
- Daisy: "Yeesh. Well, Bianca, it's up to you, now. Still willing to come with us?"
- Bianca: "I could make one call to Professor Juniper and get cleared of any charges against me and just walk away from this, but for some reason, I can't seem to get up the nerve to start moving."
*Daisy smiles and offers an arm to Bianca, who hesitantly seizes it.*
- Daisy: "Alright, everything's set, then. I've got good supplies, good friends, and good weather. Next stop: Mt Sugaroma!"
- Samano: "You said it, baby!"
- Mavelyn: "This is so exciting!"
- Ranbuki: "I'm coming, sister."
- Dolores: "Master, don't forget to lock the door."
- Bianca: "Professor Juniper, I promise to uncover the mysteries behind the Convergence Event."
- Armored Bishoujo (Narrating): "And so within a day, Daisy lost contact with all of her friends and gained a whole buncha new ones, but time is no longer on her side. Between the local law enforcement, the Fear Vanguard, the Chariot organization, all the wild Pokemon, the dangerous climb up Mt Sugaroma, and last but not least, Daisy's own mother, the young lass has her work cut out for her. But with her raw determination and the helpful friends she draws around her, Daisy's future seems to be looking up. Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter of Daisy the Disgruntled Trainer!"

[Astral Harmony]

Armored Bishoujo's Impact Trick: Phantom Winning, Chapter I ~ Panty Phantom

*Everything is dark...really, really dark...and quiet...*
- Ray: "Huh? ...What? Where am I?"
*Still very dark and quiet around here.*
- Ray: "Damn it, did I die for realsies? I remember...wait, I can't remember. Why can't I remember?!"
*Ray still tries to see in the dark.*
- Ray: "Wait a minute, let me gather my thoughts. I know I was dead...in the Hungry World, I think? And there were battles in a courtroom. And now I feel like I'm back in Honmyr...except not as I used to be."
*Ray's slowly growing awareness of his situation grants him a new power: Ghost Sight!*

New Power Manifested: Spectral Eye ~ Allows Ray/Impact to transition between the Real Layer where times flows naturally and Ray/Impact can manipulate possessed objects, and the Ethereal Layer where time stops and Ray can move, see in the dark, and plan his next series of moves.

- Ray: *activates Spectral Eye* "Whoa. Let there be light, I guess. Or to be more exact, let me just ignore darkness as though it isn't actually there."
*Ray notices the silouette of a young woman near his position...and something else.*

New Power Manifested: Astral Wisdom ~ A passive skill available in both the Real and Ethereal Layers at all times. Any object that Ray/Impact possesses is automatically known to him.
New Power Manifested: Ectostension ~ An Ethereal Layer trick in which Ray can extend his spectral being from his current position to connect with other 'cores', a point in an object or person's molecular makeup that can accept his presense. Many objects have such a core, but not all of them.

- Ray: "No doubt about it, the core I'm currently possessing is none other than my own body. I guess I didn't make it back to Honmyr alive after all. But getting back to Honmyr as it is should stand for something, at least. I have a feeling I really dodged the bullet even if my situation isn't that much better."
*Ray activates his Ectostension and connects with the only core he can reach.*

New Power Manifested: Ghastly Intervention ~ A trick that can only be used in the Real Layer. Allows Ray/Impact to manipulate objects.

- Ray: "Ho boy, I get the feeling I'm going to regret this, but I don't have a choice. This is the only core I'm able to reach from my corpse."
*Ray shifts back to the Real Layer...and manipulates the object he has possessed.*
- Very Familiar Voice: "Yeek!"
- Ray: "Ahh, I do believe I recognize that voice."
- Very Familiar Voice: "Master...is that you?"
- Ray: "But I wasn't exactly expecting her to recognize me."
- Very Familiar Voice: "I guess Irene was right after all. Phantomere, get over here."
- Ray: "What?"
*The Etheral Layer is automatically activated. A large dark-purple flame hops effortlessly from core to core until it reaches Ray's position and connects with him.*
- Phantomere: "What up, yo?"
- Ray: "Okay, so when I return to Honmyr, I find my corpse, then Pizza, and after hearing about Irene, now there's you. Just what the hell is going on? And where's Charlotte? Aren't you and her literally inseparable?"
- Phantomere: "Not so many questions at once, good sir. You and me are going to be working together to achieve the best ending."
- Ray: "I don't understand."
- Phantomere: "No worries, we'll take it all one step at a time. Let me go ahead and bring Pizza into this conversation with us."
- Ray: "Yes, please do that."
*Phantomere's presense temporarily vanishes, then returns with familiar company.*
- Pizza: "Oh, there you are, Master. I was looking all over for you."
- Ray: "I have a feeling you aren't referring to my corpse, because it's right. Fucking. There."
- Pizza: "We had hoped that you would return to Honmyr alive, but knew that a chance at a full revival was kinda...meh."
- Ray: "We?"
- Pizza: "Yes. Irene, too. Your revival is a top concern of hers."
- Ray: "I guess it is, eh? Listen, while we're in this moment of frozen time, I'd like to trade some information with you."
- Pizza: "Anything, Master. Anything."

Topic: Ray's Position
- Ray: "Confirm my position, please."
- Pizza: "We're in the Sanctuary of Fallen Heroes."
- Ray: "I am not familiar with this place."
- Pizza: "After the Third Successionary War finally ended, this mausoleum was constructed where the fountain used to be in Prime Square in Fainas Metropolis and your body was placed here. There are a number of obsidian slabs around your expensive and luxurious coffin that tell of your epic achievements. You are entombed here as a slain hero who saved and protected countless lives, both human and Pokemon, throughout the entire Pokemon World and beyond. Irene personally saw to that."
- Ray: "Huh."
- Pizza: "Impressive, isn't it?"
- Ray: "Actually, more impressive than that is that I somehow have an erection. I didn't think it was possible for dead spirits to have those."
- Pizza: "Almost makes you not want to come back from the dead, since you now know how beloved you are to the people of the whole world."

Topic: Ray's Situation
- Ray: "My mind is really murky when it comes to recalling how I arrived here. My spirit, I mean. Do you know anything? Did Irene tell you something?"
- Pizza: "She told me you were involved in something in the Hungry World and may have been able to return to Honmyr, and that we should go to where your body is."
- Ray: "Really? Nothing else?"
- Pizza: "I guess she felt that further explanations weren't necessary if you didn't actually make it back. But I knew that there was no way you were going to simply vanish forever, Master."
- Ray: "It's nice to have people who'll believe in me no matter what."
*Pizza blushes.*
- Ray: "So, what happens next?"
- Pizza: "Simple. We're going to get you out of here and take you to Irene."
- Ray: "That's helpful. I can ask her about what happened to me back in the Hungry World. I don't remember much of it at all, but I know she was there. So where is she?"
- Pizza: "Yamakami Island."
- Ray: "That would be Irene's real last name. What's the deal with that?"
- Pizza: "After the Third Successionary War ended, Irene revealed everything, literally everything that she had done, both good and bad, to achieve victory over the Knomere and the Rezonscape. She expected to be executed, but countless people from PATCA, your government, the factions, CivSec and everywhere else spoke up in Irene's defense. After that, a decision was made to merely have Irene exhiled from Honmyr forever. Yamakami Island is where she resides now. She runs a large temple with her sister and many others where she offers martial training for free."
- Ray: "So in order to reach Irene, I'm going to have to leave Honmyr. We'd better get to it, then."

Topic: Spook Ops
- Ray: "I don't know what Irene expects me to be able to do for her, but I would guess it involves these powers of mine. Phantomere, I'm counting on you to help me understand my new abilities."
- Phantomere: "That's what I'm here for."
- Ray: "Where is Charlotte, by the way?"
- Phantomere: "The Hungry World. Something happened and now we can't travel to there or back. The gateway is still there, but it is far more unstable than usual. She should be fine, but I cannot help but worry for her."
- Ray: "Then I must've escaped by the hairs on my ass, then."
- Pizza: "Speaking of asses, mine got a sudden tingle recently. Was that you, Master?"
- Ray: "There was only one core connected to your body. I didn't have a choice."
- Pizza: "A core? What is that?"
- Phantomere: "Objects, and people, have cores. These cores can be occupied by spirits like Mister Green and myself as a method of traversing environments or manipulating the object in some way."
- Pizza: "So what object has a core on me? My Cutter Staff or-?"
- Ray: "I can neither confirm nor deny..."
- Phantomere: "It's your panties."
- Ray: "And there it goes. Can we have one conversation that doesn't get really awkward? Just one?"
*Pizza sighs.*
- Pizza: "Master..."
- Ray: "I didn't mean to! It's the only object with a core on your body!"
- Pizza: "Can I just say one thing before we go?"
- Ray: "By all means."
*Pizza grins.*
- Pizza: "If you really wanted to get inside my panties that badly, you could have just asked me."
- Ray: "Oh, hey, dead spirits can also have a migraine, too..."

*Pizza, with Ray possessing her panties and Phantomere following closely from core to core due to his vastly superior Ectostension power, stealthily make their way out of the masoleum, but Pizza stops suddenly.*
- Ray: "Something bothering you? Aside from having a spirit in your britches, I mean."
- Pizza: "A dead body."
- Ray: "Yeah, you tend to find those kinds of things in mausoleums. Kind of a hot spot for them, actually."
- Pizza: "No, Master. This one is really fresh."
- Ray: "...Gimme a second."
*Rays shifts to the Ethereal Layer and finally sees the corpse in the darkness. He also notices something rather odd.*
- Ray: "A young woman in a CivSec uniform, freshly slain. But something's strange. She has a core just like the other corpses in here, but her core glows a bright yellow. The older corpses here just have lucid blue cores."
- Pizza: "I don't get it. What does that mean?"
- Ray: "I want to reach that core, Pizza. Can you bring your ass closer to her backside?"
- Pizza: "Huh?"
*Ray sighs. Then he manipulates Pizza's panties again.*
- Pizza: "Eeek! Stop that, Master!"
*Pizza struggles, which lowers her posterior so that Ray can connect to the core of the fresh corpse.*
- Ray: "Good job, girl. I'll give you a carrot later.
*The core Ray just possessed glows far brighter. The next thing Ray knows, he's starting at a small blue flame.*
- Ray: "An azure flame? What exactly is this?"
*Ray gets no response from the azure flame.*
- Ray: "Okay, what the hell did I just do?"
*Pizza and Phantomere join Ray and the azure flame in the room.*
- Pizza: "Please don't do that when I'm with other people, Master! I'd be so embarrassed."
- Ray: "Pizza, hush for now, would you? I need to talk to Phantomere."
- Pizza: "Master, you're mean. Oh, what's with that blue flame? It's really pretty."
- Phantomere: "I've seen enough human souls to know that this azure flame is one of them."
- Ray: "So, this is that CivSec lady's soul, huh?

New Power Manifested: Last Moments ~ Allows Ray/Impact to view the last four minutes of a freshly slain person's mind by touching their soul inside their own freshly killed bodies.

- Ray: "Hmm..."
*Ray reaches forward to touch the soul.*
- Pizza: "Master, wait!"
*The scenery bleeds and shifts as Ray's fingertips connect with the soul and when Ray can see again, he's viewing what appears to be the same part of the Sanctuary of Fallen Heroes, except neither Pizza nor the corpse are there.*
- Ray: "Damnit. What the hell did I just do, this time?"
- Phantomere: "Quiet please, something's happening."
*The scene begins to unfold. A young lady who closely resembles the corpse Ray possessed hurries down some nearby stairs with a flashlight.*
- CivSec Guard: "I'm certain somebody just came down here. Looked like a female ninja?"
*The CivSec Guard continues to scan the surroundings with her flashlight.*
- CivSec Guard: "Oooo, if the boss finds out that someone snuck in here again, I'm gonna get another pay deduction! C'mon boss, I'm already down to a full course meal of cheap noodles!"
- Ray: "She...doesn't strike as a particularly reliable civil servant."
- Pizza: "Master, please remain quiet. I think you stumbled onto something really important here."
*The scene continues. The CivSec lady continues to search and trips over something, breaking her flashlight in the fall.*
- CivSec Guard: "Ohhh, you've gotta be kidding me!"
*The CivSec lady fumbles with the flashlight, trying without success to get it to shine once again, when she hears a shriek from deeper in the masoleum.*
- CivSec Guard: "Is that the ninja girl? I'm coming to help you! And then arrest you! In that order!"
*The CivSec lady runs towards the stairs leading further down, but activates a trap that fires a needle coated with a sleeping drug. At the same time, she trips once again and the needle ends up piercing her left eye. The lady cannot even emit a cry in pain as her fall continues and her face collides with the cold floor, sending the needle up through the socket and into her brain, killing her.*
- Ray: "...As much as Charlotte would appreciate a live snuff film, I'm afraid I don't much care for these things. Kind of a buzz-killer, how she died."
- Pizza: "I set that trap. If she hadn't tripped, the needle wouldn't pierced her arm or abdomen and she would've fallen gently from the sleeping drug."
- Phantomere: "You sound sad."
- Pizza: "I don't like killing those who don't deserve to die, Phantomere. And even though she didn't die by my hands, she perished by my deeds."
- Phantomere: "What we saw were the last four minutes of the victim's life. A combination of her clumsiness, the dark, and Pizza's trap caused her death."
- Ray: "Hmm..."

New Power Manifested: Fateweaver ~ Allows Ray/Impact to alter the fates of recently slain casualties by moving across and manipulating possessible objects within the four minutes preceeding the person's death.

- Ray: "I'm no longer in the courtroom, so knowing how the person died does me no good. There has to be another purpose for seeing this, and I think I know just what that purpose is."
*Ray reaches for the azure flame again, but instead of merely touching the flame, he thrusts his hand deep inside of it. The scenery bleeds and shifts once again back to the victim's last four minutes, but this time Ray is present, possessing a 'temporary core' placed where the victim died.*
- Ray: "..."
*The CivSec woman comes down the stairs just like she did at the start of her last moments.*
- CivSec Guard: "I'm certain somebody just came down here. Looked like a female ninja?"
*The CivSec Guard continues to scan the surroundings with her flashlight.*
- CivSec Guard: "Oooo, if the boss finds out that someone snuck in here again, I'm gonna get another pay deduction! C'mon boss, I'm already down to a full course meal of cheap noodles!"
- Ray: "Interesting. I'm somehow inside the four minutes before her death! This must be what Irene was hoping for. I don't know if I want what she wants me to do, but let's see if I can make a difference here. Time for some experimentation."
*Ray tests his abilities and finds that he has full use of his powers. The CivSec lady continues to search and trips over something, breaking her flashlight in the fall.*
- CivSec Guard: "Ohhh, you've gotta be kidding me!"
- Ray: "Guess it's time for the friendly ghost to get to work."
*Ray possesses the flashlight and manipulates it. The flashlight instantly comes back on.*
- CivSec Guard: "Oh thank god! Being in the darkness shaved ten years off my life!"
- Ray: "Better ten years than all but three minutes. But is merely fixing the flashlight enough to save her?"
*The CivSec lady hears a shriek from deeper in the mausoleum.*
- CivSec Guard: "Is that the ninja girl? I'm coming to help you! And then arrest you! In that order!"
*This time, with the flashlight repaired, the CivSec lady spots the trap before she activates it, then expertly steps over it and proceeds further down.*
- Ray: "...This works, but it isn't exactly right. By repairing the flashlight, the CivSec chick avoids Pizza's trap and then catches up to Pizza, probably getting assassinated in the ensuing arrest attempt. Let me try this again."
*Ray 'resets' the victim's final moments and begins again. This time around, he fixes the flashlight as usual, but turns it off when the CivSec guard steps over the exposed stone step that she tripped over when the flashlight was broken.*
- CivSec Guard: "Huh?! What the-urk!"
*She activates the trap since the light is off, but avoided the exposed step when the light was on just a second ago. The needle pierces her just below the right collar bone.*
- CivSec Guard: "That damn ninja girl must...have set...a trap...noo-oo-oo-oodles..."
*The CivSec lady slumps against a wall as the needle's drug takes quick effect.*
- Ray: "She's alive, right? I think that oughta do it. But does saving her life here really accomplish anything?"

*Ray's satisfaction with the results forces him to exit the azure flame. When he can see again, he is possessing the flashlight. The CivSec lady is still slumped against the wall, sleeping soundly. Pizza and Phantomere are right nearby. Ray decides to join them.*
- Pizza: [color=pink]"Master, you're back! What is going on? I'm certain that girl was dead on her face!"
- Ray: "I got skillz, yo."
- Phantomere: "I think I get it. Mister Green must have been able to enter the four minutes that we saw leading up to the woman's death, then used his postmortem powers to affect the present situation itself."
- Ray: "Thanks for taking all the magic out of it."
- Pizza: "What're you talking about?! That's so cool, Master! You're the best!"
- Ray: "I have a feeling that this is what Irene expected. She somehow knew I would come back as a spirit and that I would have these powers. That's what her best ending is all about."
- Pizza: "Do you think it's possible to help her, Master?"
- Ray: "I'm not sure, Pizza. Whatever it is she has planned, I think it's going to be one fuckuva hurdle."

- Armored Bishoujo: "And that concludes the first chapter of Impact Trick ~ Phantom Winning. The plan is for the next chapter to have the Ace Attorney sprite comic. What does Irene's Best Ending actually entail? Can Impact step up to what might be the greatest challenge is his (un)life? And how did Irene know he'd have these new powers in the first place? Find out the answers to these questions but actually not in the second chapter of Ghost Trick ~ Impact's Return!"

[Astral Harmony]

The Umbral Diaries: A Good Hard Look At...Metal Hell

Armored Bishoujo: "Basically, I'm creating posts about things in Pokemon Umbral that I like to talk about. You don't hafta indulge me by reading it."

Most popularly referred to as Metal Hell, the Fainas Metropolitan Industrial Subcomplex is a massive and confusing network of underground subway tunnels, sewers and utility tunnels that used to provide many services to Fainas Metropolis above, and while this is still true to an extent, much of the subcomplex tunnels have been haphazardly sealed off to warn thrillseekers against venturing into what is officially considered by many sources to be the most dangerous place in the entire Pokemon World, comparable only to those secret dungeons in JRPG's that you can only access after beating the game proper. It is best to describe Metal Hell by distinguishing each of its layers, or sub basements, of which there are considered to be five.

Sub Basement 1

Easily accessible via manhole and from basements in some buildings both manned or abandoned, Sub Basement 1 of Metal Hell has mostly been repurposed as a homeless community. I mean, at least the weather's really nice. No rain or nothin'. Moving around enough in these tunnels will undoubtedly result in encounters with random people. Most are docile, homeless people who use the tunnels as a makeshift house. Some are potentially hostile, willing to rob anyone that looks like they're carrying anything of value.

Encounters with wild Pokemon are also very common, and a local survey declares that 68% of all Pokemon Trainers have gone underground to these tunnels in their hunt for new and unique Pokemon not seen in the city above or surrounding rural areas.

Sub Basement 2

Sub Basement 2 is where things begin to get bad. Those brave or foolish enough to venture into these depths will gain their first encounters with Madsoldiers and Rabandito.

Madsoldiers are humans who have been thoroughly affected by the Rezonscape's maddening influences and will never recover. As far as this level is concerned, Madsoldier encounters usually do not result in hostilities. They are often seen scrawling mindless gibberish on walls and feasting on this or that pile of disgusting carrion, and will ignore the presense of others if they are not disturbed. Still, conflicts are not unheard of, but are almost always survivable given that they seldom use anything other than their fists or lengths of rusty pipe and do not fight in numbers greater than two.

Rabandito are wild Pokemon that have been infected with the Rabano Virus, given them glowing orange eyes, crimson drool, and extreme hostility, eager to attack anyone or anything they encounter. While Rabano spreads quickly amongst wild Pokemon, there is a vaccine that is mandatorily issued to all foreign Pokemon and to Pokeballs sold in Honmyr to protect Pokemon from the virus with 100% success. Additionally, it has been determined that aside from the wound itself, a Rabano-infected bite is harmless to humans and Pokebrids.

Sub Basement 3

There is a staggering decrease in Rabandito and a great increase in Madsoldiers. The Madsoldiers are much tougher and more coordinated then in the sub basement above. Some have even been observed using firearms and they fight in squads of usually six or even more. The uniforms worn by the Madsoldiers indicate that they were once prisoners of some ill repute, but the reasons behind their existence here are unknown.

Sub Basement 4

Bring an army or embrace your demise. Sub Basement 4 is crowded full of freaks and heavily armed psychotics.

Ashen Knights are about the only internal assistance you can expect. In service to Irene Crosswald and the republican government, these massive white automatons use outdated but still quite lethal assault weaponry such as gatling guns and flamethrowers to clear out certain areas in order to keep them secure, a relatively successful tactic.

The Madsoldiers really start to beef up their forces here by actually having their own RDPAs (Rapid Deployment Powered Armor), which is often in disrepair but not much less dangerous. There are even some special varients of Madsoldier that require unique tactics to deal with, like the Poison Girls who can inflict incurable maladies and the Buffeteers who rip their own steaming entrails out when spotting intruders to draw hungry Rabandito and other foes into the fight to confront you.

There is also talk of something that has been referred to as a Scarletta, and believe it or not, they bear some odd resemblance to, you guessed it, Irene Crosswald. Scarlettas are very hostile, frighteningly intelligent and impossibly strong, able to go toe-to-toe with a entire squad of talented adventurers are still overwhelm them.

Sub Basement 5

For those who can somehow complete a journey all the way down to Sub Basement 5, you'll find a treasure trove of abandoned technology and some of the most dangerous mutants in the Pokemon World.

An abandoned Honmyr Prideguard facility rests completely open to anyone seeking anything of value that remains within. However, expect your physical and mental limits to be tested and stretched by a wild combination of Madsoldiers, Scarlettas, Rabandito, Asuras, and even this or that automated security system that still works despite the base being abandoned for at least ten years.

The only entrance to the Chaos Atelier also sits here. Completely sealed off with a special dual locking system that requires two unique keys (Azure Skies Key and Crimson Seas Key), the Chaos Atelier supposedly holds the (stationary) epicenter of the Rezonscape, called the Rezonark, a crystalized organic being estimated to be over two millenia old! However, the Chaos Atelier was locked down for more than just to keep people away from the strong Rezonance, but also to keep the insane staff who used to work there locked in tightly after a certain incident involving something that also bleeds Rezonance but is quite mobile. One can only imagine how dangerous they have become after spending so much time down there, trapped while their brains are being hammered by madness.

[Menarker]

Relm and I found it hilarious that the place is supposed to be

haphazardly sealed off to warn thrillseekers against venturing into what is officially considered by many sources to be the most dangerous place in the entire Pokemon World

and yet the first level happens to be a HOMELESS SHELTER! Also a prime place to catch certain rare pokemon with the majority of the trainer population entering this supposably sealed area.

Logic, I don't think you get what it means. =3


But otherwise, a most interesting read.