Who do you think would make a good moderator? (Hypothetically!)

[Mesden]

Originally Posted by greed

We already have one of those for a mod don't we?

Krylo has quite a few more adjectives.

[Crodevillian Team]

I think Olmec from Nickelodeon's award winning game show Legends of the Hidden Temple would make a fantastic moderator. He has a very authoriative voice, and a good head on his shoulders. If he had shoulders.

He's also well versed in history, and with such knowledge of the past, would be unlikely to make mistakes in the future. Needless to say, he's extraordinarily fair, and is a stoic guardian of The Temple. Keep in mind that this is the temple that has held such artifacts as the headdress of Lawrence of Arabia, so any soul entrusted with duties as impressive as this is undoubtedly worthy of carrying on the banner of Nuklear Power moderator...-ing.

When I'm in a puzzling situation, I often think to myself, "What would Olmec do?" And although asking children questions about ancient history rarely leads to a helpful conclusion, when I think of his gentle face and glowing eyes I always have to smile, content in knowing that the soiled nightgown of Catherine the Great is safely tucked away in The Pit of Despair, under the watchful gaze of my stone guardian hero. God, I'm feeling so inspired now.

Actually the real reason for this thread was I was hoping people would start saying who would be an awesome moderator is Crodevillian, if he'd just come back and do some goddamn moderating.

Wait, wait, wait. I'm a moderator? Oh my goodness gracious. This explains so much. Until now, I thought it was through sheer power of the mind that I've been able to access the ... well, you know. I don't need to say it. But I will. In the next paragraph.

The Panel Where I Click, Enter a Password, Press Okay, am Greeted by My Name and am Given the Ability to Access Various Features of the Forums of Nuklear Power. At leat, I think that's how it works. I haven't tried it in a while.

Oh, wow, wait. The realization that I never had special powers of the mind has just hit me, hard and square in the face like a croquet mallet swung with the awful strength and sanguinary passion of a discarded Flannery Culp. I'll bleed my last pint in the corner where Things Are Still My Way and apologize for the unnecessarily long literary reference.

[Jeneralissimo]

Wow, we actually brought CroTeam out of retirement? :O_o:

Anyhow, I was also thinking that POS might make a good mod. I will probably regret that later, but there it is.

[Mesden]

Where Fifthfiend was Elton John, Croteam is Liberace.

[Satan's Onion]

Originally Posted by Crodevillian Team

like a croquet mallet swung with the awful strength and sanguinary passion of a discarded Flannery Culp.

You read The Basic Eight too? I thought it wasn't too bad.

CroTeam: Well, -I- thought it was fantastic.

Back to ontopicalityness, POS could do the mod-thing pretty well, I daresay. And making Mesden mod could actually create a fairly entertaining power struggle dynamic between her and fifth. Until one of the two banned me for something. Then it would suck.

[8 Man]

All good moderators know how to make random and hilarious edits in people's posts and/or signatures without leaving any evidence as to which moderator did so. Abuse of the |spoiler| tag comes highly recommended here.

Also, good moderators constantly boast about their superiority over the other moderators and list at least seven examples of this.

Good moderators never warn or ban anyone, ever, until such individual is deemed unpopular by a consensus of at least 27 posters. Any rationale at all may be used for this purpose.

Good moderators merge every topic with at least three words of five letters or more in common. In addition, they must be proper nouns that are not personal names or days of the week.

Good moderators never lock any topic on Saturdays or at any point during the month of April.

In addition, the final post of any locked topic must include a witty picture and/or quote relevant to the topic being locked and/or the reasons for doing so. This is reserved for every topic locked on odd-numbered days.

Finally, good moderators constantly insult the admins in secret, and if caught, easily cast the blame upon unsuspecting individuals and always get away with it. ALWAYS.

[POS Industries]

Originally Posted by fifthfiend

Also I find it hilarious that when I first put up this thread POS started bitching at me on the Yaplet how nobody was gonna mention him. Lookit that people like you, ya whiny prick!

So I hate myself and want to die. Is that so wrong?

And Jeezus, having all these people singing my praises is like high school all over again. All I need is bad skin and a complete inability to talk to girls and we'll be all set!

...

Yeah, okay, so it's high school all over again. Shut up.

[P-Sleazy]

POS. We don't need any highschool drama kings as moderator. Shape up or you won't get my vote. Not that you already have it.

[Long-Haired Narcissist]

Originally Posted by deerg

I nominate that handsome fellow Greed. Chip Chip tally ho!

I agree with this deerg fellow. Even though he only has like 2 posts, he looks very familiar with these forums and trustworthy.

[POS Industries]

Originally Posted by B_real_shadows

POS. We don't need any highschool drama kings as moderator.

I was elected "High School Drama President", thank you very much! That's how we do things.... in America!