NPF Avatars: A God's Madness

[dementedmongoose]

A small mongoose began jumping from noob to noob, biting the occasional one on the ankle or foot. Suddenly, a person appeared in the middle of the crowd, just as the mongoose disappeared. "WTF? \/\/h3r3 d1d h3 c0m3 fr0m?" a noob yelled, which Mongrel answered with a shot of venom to the eyes. Mongrel muttered a quick spell to grow his fangs. Jumping high, he began running on all fours over heads, biting scalps and necks, injecting high levels of neurotoxins into bloodstreams across the mob. So engrossed was he in paralyzing the noobs, that he didn't even realize that he was moving closer to the edge of the mob, or that he was getting closer to someone who most assuredly wasn't a noob. Jumping onto the non-noob's head, he'd barely even opened his mouth when a knapsack swung out over the blonde mage's head, almost hitting Mongrel in the side of his head, fortunately, the speed that came with the package saved him. Almost. You see, that knapsack moved faster than Mongrel expected. So instead of getting a shot to the face, he took a shot to the leg, somersaulting out of control. Jumping back up, he caught sight of them, realizing they weren't noobs. "Sorry 'bout that, kind of wrapped up in it. I'd suggest running, there's some big metal dude crushing the noobs, looks like he might step on us by accident."

[Mesden]

Her gaze fixiated on Twiddy. Not often does one have actual different souls inside him, but he was interesting. Too bad for Twid that she could hear soulbound voices far better than normal ones.

She walked over to Twid with his outstretched hand. Her gauntlet grew brighter and turned translucent as it did earlier and with a, "I need to aim this right." her arm plunged into Twiddy's chest.

"FUCKENSHITCUNTBITCHWHORE" writhed the dark Twiddy as the spiritual hand grasped and twisted his being. He continued yelling, "I will scoop out your nonexistant balls with a rusty spoon and shove your still beating heart where the sun don't shine!"

Her eyes turned firey white again and as she spoke, no others could hear except for the 3 different incarnations of Twiddy, "Get this straight. Whatever Raiden can do to you I can do worse. I can hear what these souls of you say and I don't appreciate it. I can remove this part of your existance right now as easily as I just did those creatures over there. The good and the neutral Twiddy had better keep Mr. Evil here in check before I decide to go from a neutral god to a chaotic one. Starting on you, Twiddy."

The response being..." Mesden, I would gladly put this guy on a leash- What?! -but I actually have almost no control over him. I'm sure that he regrets saying what he did. Yeah fuggin' right. Hear me now, Little Girl, I don't care what you can do to me. I- Shut up! I apologize for his behavior...he is not used to having people hear him. He treats everybody with contempt, finds them too soft.
Whatever, you don't have any strength, God. You let Raiden get away with what he did and you know it.

"Oh did I? I let Raiden do this? I let Raiden debacle YOUR city that I have never been to? I let Raiden, your mentor, destroy a monument of this towns and steal its precious power source?"

As she said this she gripped and twisted dark Twiddy. His screams echoed in the heads of the other two as, "GAHHH! SONUVABITCH! LET- AGHHHHHHH!"

'You learn this and you learn this well, evil one; I plan to find out what happened, I plan to stop Raiden and I, unless you quiet down with the insults towards me, your master, I will see personally that your festering existance plummets the depths of the void. Forever to exist in its most horrible prospect."

Her grip lessened and evil Twiddy let out a sigh of relief. In physical form, you have a natural born pain tolerance that can also develop. Not the soul. The pain that the evil Twid felt was unmatchable by anything he had ever felt before.

"Remember, evil one, I am keeping an eye and an ear on you....."

[Truce]

Ecurt nodded, his eyes following the path that Mauve had pointed out. "If that's the way you say we need to go, then that's the way we'll inevitably have to take.

"Besides, even if wanted to go back to the main group we probably couldn't. Chances are, a something would block our way, which would conveniently prevent any of the newbs from getting through while at the same time forcing us to go forward. That's just the way things work here, after all." To prove his point, he took a step backwards. Immediately, a nearby building broke into several pieces inexplicably, with most of it falling just a few feet behind them. Not only did it squish a newb that had idiotically tried to stalk them, but it created a mostly solid wall that would have prevented them from backtracking, had they been mere mortals.

"Just imagine what would happen if I took another step," he said, nodding to himself.

Summoning two gigantic cat plushies with saddles, he hopped on one and began to follow the road to the Mashirosen Tower. "Anyway, let's go. With these, it shouldn't take much time to get there. In fact, it will probably take us only one or two posts to get there."

[The Wizard Who Did It]

The Wizard stepped back in astonishment. She really was giving the bastard what he deserved. All Raiden had done was tear him out of my body, and punch him once. This, of course, would be the moment that the Dark Wizard calmed down. This would be the moment where Mesden shows her power over souls, and her ability to control the world around her. Too bad the Dark Wizard was too much of an ass hole for that. The Wizard could hear his panting inside his head, and knew that he would have to act fast. The Wizard had entered his metaphysical plane, and Mesden towered over a crumpled heap that was the Dark Wizard.

The Dark Wizard looked up at the being in front of him. He opened his mouth wide and screamed, "This is my mind, my plane of existance. You do not belong here, God! I swear if it is the last thing I do-" He seemed to have lost all control and got to his feet, lunging at the God. What happened next was a blur so fast that the God couldn't intervene.

Both of the other souls had tackled the Wizard before he had got to his feet. The Light Wizard held the other soul by the scruff of the neck, and spoke to him, "Control your anger. This being is much more powerful than you or I. Or all of us. She will surely prove beneficial to our cause. And where did you get the idea that Raiden and Pyros never helped us?"

The Dark Wizard looked back up at the Light Wizard and whispered with a deadly tinge to it, "He controlled both of us! He betrayed the NPF! Pyros is the one who causes damage, floods, apocalypses. Can you honestly call these clowns Gods?!"

The Light Wizard stared at him, "They're more of a God than you are."

The Dark Wizard looked like he just got slapped. He looked up at the Light Wizard with contempt, and spat into his face. The Light One just looked shocked, and suddenly a fist came out from behind him. The Real Wizard had had enough and struck the Dark Wizard in the face. He then stood up, "Just shut up, or I swear you will be killed." He looked over his shoulder at Mesden, "Please leave us. He has much rage, but it will go away. He might come to respect you eventually, but for now he is wretched as ever."

She looked over her at the contained Dark Twiddy and laughed, "You keep him at bay. Just remember, if he doubts my godhood and considers me a clown, I can always just twist him like I did and leave him like that."

The Wizard nodded to the God, and left this state of being. The Wizard noticed that Mauve Mage and Ecurt had been leaving, and decided to catch up with her. Surely it would be more productive than staying here. Before he forgot, the Wizard sent the Light Wizard to talk to the being of great power. The Wizard eventually caught up with Mauve Mage. So... can I talk to the Little- Mauve? Fuck no.

"Hey Mauve, Ecurt, mind if I tag along with you guys for now?"

[mauve]

OOC: Twiddy, I'm with Ecurt, not Fenris. Fenris is still kicking newb tushie with his almighty Knapsack of Doom.

"Hey Mauve, Ecurt, mind if I tag along with you guys for now?"

"Fine with me," Mauve said, turning around in the plushie's saddle to greet the Wizard, who had somehow made it through the newbs. "Just don't try to go back after you've made a decision to follow us: Ecurt says you'll get crushed by a building." She smiled, as though this information was not in the least bit strange.

She cast one more look back at the living wall of zombies. The Wind Edge sliced through the newbs like a warm knife through butter, slamming into a street lamp and bringing it crashing down on their heads. Huh. Looks like Inbred Chocobo showed up, too.

"This is turning into quite a get-together," she commented. "Although I am surprised that Darth and Krylo haven't busted out the grenades yet... Ah well, the night is still young."

Gesturing for Twiddy to follow, Mauve touched her heel to the plushie's flanks and clicked her tongue. The kitty flattened its ears against its head, resenting being treated as a horse. It obeyed her, however, loping off towards Mashirosen Tower.

[Mr.McSpiff]

Spiffy noticed the three figures, riding off on... a cat... "Where are they going? Eh." And with that, the cat turned back to the zombie-noob horde and proceeded to commance the a**-kicking.

[PyrosNine]

PyrosNine knew exactly what to do. "Well, this crater ain't my own, but if I'll be damned if I let Raiden make a BIGGER ONE!" Pyros's eyes glowed red again. He lifted his hands and drew upon his great powers.

"Rain of fire!" The blackened sky blackened even further, and what thunderstorms that remained fizzled out. The air in the area became as hot and humid as a florida summer, and a few Newbs started whining "I's teh unc0mf0&tabl3!"

Then, the clouds started spinning. The clouds bulged, and bursting forth came fireballs. Not just any lame old "super mario" fireballs, but giant flaming fireballs. Each one was bigger than a van, and had a white hot core. And there was a hell of a lot of them.

"This brings a whole new meaning to Godmodding in an RP! Apocalyptic attack #1"

The newbs were awestruck, except for a few really really talkative ones. "OMGWTFBBQ!!!th!$ is teh suxors! Fux! OMG HAXOR!!!"

They seemed to slow upon nearing the ground, but that was merely the adrenaline effect as everyone tensed up for the crash. When they slowly slunk into the ground, things sped up again.

KRACKOOM!

The newbs were scattered and incinerated by the destruction, buildings toppled, and a cloud of dust and debris filled the air, yet again.

The original crater Raiden had made had doubled in size, and very few newbs had survived it.

"Hmm...that was a bit smaller than I would have liked. Of course, I couldn't risk accidently making it too big and hitting Willy's daycare."

His work done, he turned to Mesden. "Got any marshmellows?" He smiled. "You know, be a bit easier on Twiddy. So he's got a few inner demons. And from what he knows, he has every right to distrust me and Raiden. Raiden has yet to do anything for the betterment of mankind, and Mankind is completely unaware of my betterment of it. Mostly because all they know is I tend to enjoy causing property damage."

It was unusual for Pyros to say something so profound and caring, but then again when you considered it, it made sense. He was of course the random sort to dispense wisdom and peace immediately after causing mass destruction and death.

"Oh well. Say, do you think you could lay off the soul looking thing too? I'm afraid I rather dislike having someone looking through my clothes. And don't think I don't know when you do. I know pretty much everything that most people don't know, and rarely anything most people do."

Nein scratched his head and yawned.

[Mr.McSpiff]

"WOAH, you burninated all those noobs faster than Bruce campbell could ever hope to! For that you get donuts and more rootbeer! Now here y- wait, ya missed one." The feline forumiter spun around, and took one noobs head clean off with his Rat-Flail. "Anyway Mr. cat of Burinination whose name I don't know," Spiffy said as he reached into his pocket of insane holding-ness and pulled out a box of donuts and bottle of rootbeer. "Are your food and drink items. Anyone else want donuts or rootbeer?"

[Darth SS]

Darth finally turned around from the earlier mess and noticed the new one. There was a dead silence, and he forgot breathe. At long last he uttered one loooong syllable.

"FUCKINGBITCHCUNTOHMYGODWHATTHEHELLISTHEMATTERWITH YOU!?"

He breathed.

"DIDN'TYOURMOTHERTEACHYOUANYFUCKINGMANNERS?"

Again.

"ARETHERENOCHAIRSINYOURHOUSEWHATTHELLISWRONGWITHYO UTHEREWASACITYANDNOWTHERE'SAGIANTMESSANDIT'SDIIIIRTY!"

Darth breathed again.

"Okay. I'm fine now."

He pulled out his shotgun briefly. A newb was dragging his torso (sans-legs) towards Darth, and muttering his horrible syntax genocide. The newd got within range and spewed "OMG D1D Y0U 533 7h47 fsucking haxx0rz hax m0ve wh47 4 n00b lolololololol!!!!!!!11"

Darth's skinned crawled, and he dropped his shotgun so the newb got the barrel in his mouth.

"You need a role-model."

Then he pulled the trigger. Shortly after, he put his XM8 in his backpack, and held onto his sweet sweet shotgun.

"Right, so do we have a plan? Or do we just kill shit? And can I sub for Raiden as shotgun man and brawler? Please?"

[POS Industries]

[OOC: Crap.... the one day I was out of town and the party starts. Looks like I have a lot of catching up to do...]

A loud boom jerked Pedro into consciousness, and he squinted into the surrounding darkness. He sleepily felt around his face and no, he hadn't gone to sleep with his sunglasses on like a complete moron.

"Power must've gone out," he grumbled, "need a drink..."

He rolled out of bed and stumbled through the dark, gathering up his clothes and putting them on. Fully clothed, he felt his way to the door of his hotel room and exited. A little more awke now, his pace picked up as he entered the lobby. The hotel manager, holding a flashlight, spotted him."

"Mr. O'Sullivan!" the manager exclaimed, "Sorry about the wake up. Something must've happened at the Kurosen Power Center. The was a loud bang, the ground shook, lights flashed.... Sir, where are you going?

"Out," was Pedro's reply, "Need a drink, and the machines in the hall don't work."

"Oh, I see," the manager said pensively, "Well, be careful. I'm not sure what's going on out there... Anyway, perhaps when you get back we could discuss how you're going to pay for your, shall we say, extended stay here...?"

Pedro paused for a moment, feeling his heart rate jump slightly. He took a deep breath and turned back around to the manager. "I told you when I came here that times were a little hard for the company, and that I'd need some time to straighten it out. Ya know, once the economy picks up and everything. That guy in office really screwed things up, so forth and so on..."

Pedro's argument became less and less convincing as he raised his right fist and pointed it at the manager"

"...Honestly, man, don't you have a Heart?"

Upon saying that last word, a beam of energy shot out from the ring on his index finger, enveloping the hotel manager in a warm, glowing aura, and the manager's entire mood seemed to change.

"Of course, Mr. O'Sullivan, I'm so sorry. Take as much time as you need."

"Thank you," Pedro replied, smiling as he turned and left the hotel.

----------------

Pedro wandered the darkened streets of the city, a green duffel bag, filled with food and drinks that he had "liberated" from a powered-down convenience store, was now slung across his left shoulder, a 20 oz. bottle of Cherry Coke clutched loosely in his right hand, and his left hand buried deep in a bag of pizza-pretzel Combos. Suddenly, he saw a large group of adolescent boys turn the corner ahead of him, lurching in his direction.

"t3h Bm is t3h r0xx0rs!!!1 Y brien g0tta b makeing him suk?" One of the boys postulated to his compatriots.

Sweet jumping jellybean, Pedro thought to himself, Noobs!

He screwed the lid back onto the Coke bottle and placed it and the Combos back into the duffel bag, cautiously wading into the sea of horrible noob creatures and attempting mimic their behavior to stay under their radar.

"Grr... Sord-chuks, yo!" he intoned, "BM n' WM 4ever! Yar!"

Suddenly, one of the noobs stopped and turned to Pedro, "Dood1 U r t3h funnie!!!1 I put y00 in mah s1gnachur!1!"

45 seconds later, the noob laid shaking on the sidewalk in a pool of his own blood and teeth, an enraged Pedro standing over top of him yelling, "DON'T YOU [Expletive deleted] EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN, YOU [Expletive deleted] IDIOT!! DON'T EVEN [Expletive deleted] MAKE EYE-CONTACT WITH ME, [Expletive deleted] IT, OR I'LL [Expletive deleted] YOU UP SO BAD YOUR [Expletive deleted] MOMMA WILL [Expletive deleted] FEEL IT!!!" as he bludgeoned the sub-human creature repeatedly with a magic wand that he normally kept tucked away in his coat.

When he looked up, he noticed that all the noobs were staring at him. Recomposing himself, he pointed in the direction behind him and shrieked at the top of his lungs:

"OMG t3h BB is b3ing br0t bak 2 lief!!!!1"

"BUMP!" the noobs exclaimed as they excitedly scurried blindly into the direction he was pointing. Pedro let out a sigh of relief and pulled out his bottle of Cherry Coke, taking a big gulp as he calmed himself. At that moment, he heard a loud series of explosions behind him, in the directions that the noobs were heading. As the ground rumbled beneath him, he turned to see the lights of several magic spells flashing off in the distance.

Looks like quite a show over there, he thought to himself, and I certainly don't want to go in the same direction that I just sent those morons... Might as well go check it out!