NPF Avatars IV, Chapter V: Beyond the Wall of Teeth

[POS Industries]

"Also if I may ask, who is Smitty?"

Rei, smiling warmly, turned to Pyros to answer his query. "Smitty is the night janitor at the POS Industries main office," she explained, "While we were monitoring your groups progress, it became apparent that you it had become necessary to clothe you. Pe-chan said he didn't need you running around in your birthday suit on any of his video footage. Smitty's jumpsuit looked like it would fit you well enough, and it was readily available in the third-floor janitor's closet. And don't you just look so handsome!"

The android giggled merrily as some of the strange fruit caught her eye. Picking something off of the nearest tree, Rei sniffed it slightly, then eyed it for a moment as her ocular scanners tried to ascertain exactly what the fruit was made of.

Failing that, she took a bite.

"Mmm...." she chewed slowly before finally swallowing, "I wouldn't recommend eating this. I can't say what in this would or wouldn't react badly in each of your digestive systems, but I can tell you that it tastes like those 'Beggin' Strips' things...."

Contemplating how odd all of that was, Rei continued eating.

[Bailey]

Syttulg groaned as his batteries slowly recharged from thermal energy.

"Ow, I feel like somebody shoved me in a barrel and dropped me down a mountainside. And then the barrel broke."

[Flarecobra]

I slithered back to the group, now my usual lamia self, armor put away in the weapons and armor holding bag, which is where I always put things when not in battle. At my waist there was a belt, which had a whip on it. "Feels good to be solid again.....say, what's with the bird?" I said looking at the hawk.

[Arhra]

Arhra had been gently prodding Tarrin with a stick to test if he was alive when Luma-es bumped into her from behind.

"Arhra, my dear! You have changed!" The strange being's eyes flicked up and down her new shape as he talked, leaning forward to deliver two air-kisses.

Arhra beamed as she struck a pose. There followed a lengthy description of Arhra's current shape, but unfortunately it is not included in this abridged edition. Suffice to say it covered the basics that Arhra quite liked the look of her current shape, aside from the shortness of stature. Flowery descriptions of alabaster skin, raven hair and piercing crimson eyes will have to be saved for another time.

Arhra nodded in agreement as Luma-es explained why he had not responded to the letter and commented about her current company. She cocked her head to one side and was about to commetn on Lumaes looking different whn she took a bite of the strange fruit she held and stared at it in shock. The inside seemed fairly gelatinous and Arhra slowly chewed and swallowed.

"It tastes like bacon too."

About to segue from this wonderment into violent, fruit hurling shock at a talking bird, Arhra was thankfully distracted by Phoenix's question.

"Of course we're not lost. I know exactly where I am. Its everything else that's mixed up."

"Perhaps I can help you with that my dear." Arhra turned slowly to face the unfamiliar voice. People just seemed to be popping out of the woodwork lately. The voice belonged to a prodigiously rotund man, who bore an uncanny resemblence to the Monoply man. It was probably the moustache, top hat and monocle that did it. He practically stank of capitalism and money.

"I am The Capitialist, but please, call me The. This plantation belongs to me. Some rather interesting properties in some of the plants around here have been discovered and I am trying to make a commercial venture of it. Of course, this does present me with a rather pressing dilemma."

"You see, we are still not quite ready to bring our product to market and at this critical stage we don't want any leaks to potential rivals," He gave a significant look at Rei and Phoenix. "I am willing to make a deal however. I couldn't help but overhear that you are trying to get deeper into this place. Why don't you come to my manor for lunch and we can discuss some sort of non-disclosure agreement in exchange for putting you back on the right track?"

[PyrosNine]

Pyros sighed. "Methinks I have met this 'The' or someone just like him before in my own dimension, over a field of shapechanging mushrooms with the tendency to cause hallucinations. I wish not to speak more on this subject, and I shall not do so."

Indeed Pyros wished not, for when he recovered from that incident he was in Ireland wearing a diamond studded dog collar and was a Princess's pet 'canary'. He learned to never defeat anyone with fire in a field full of special shrooms..

Pyros turned to Arhra. "But I do not think talking would be a good idea. Also, i do not think your eating of one was a very good idea either. But no one seems to care what i think, so feel free to do as you please. Even if it ends up damning you to hell."

Pyros leaned against a tree next to a strange cat with a SCAR on it's face. "Whatever you do, leave me here for a time. I'm in need of rest."

He sat down against the tree with his back propped against it, and his shoulder propped up from the ground with his sword. Then, just because he need to calm down after his bout of anger with the Dragonsbane fiend, he reached out and began to pet the large cat. Pyros had yet to be attacked by a cat of any sort in his long life, and had no fear of it happening soon.

[Bailey]

Syttulg woke up the rest of the way as his wounds healed.

"Pyros? Why am I slung over your shoulders?" A few seconds of mad scrabling later, and Syttulg was seated on Pyros's shoulders with his legs crossing in front of the fire god's chest. "That's better. Oh hey! You found a cute kitty!"

[POS Industries]

While all sorts of description regarding Arhra's new form happened, Rei had finished eating her piece of bacon fruit but now found herself with a bit of a social dilemma. You see, the bacon fruit was, in fact, quite greasy and said grease had gotten all over the android's hands and mouth.

Rei's first instinct was to simply wipe her mouth with the back of her hand, then wipe her hands on her business skirt. This, as Pedro had pointed out in the past, was something of a faux pas. Her next idea was to wipe it on somebody else's clothes but, after a bit more contemplation, Rei decided that such an act could cause more problems later on. What to do?

Then she remembered the handkerchief that Pedro had given her a while back! Of course, he had given it to her in case she ever needed to wipe blood off her hands, but grease would do. Reaching cautiously into her jacket, Rei found the handkerchief in her inside pocket and pulled it out, quickly wiping away all the grease from her hands and mouth before depositing it back within her jacket pocket.

Then "The Capitalist" appeared.

Overhearing his conversation with Arhra (with great ease due to her extra-sensitive audio receptors), Rei found herself forced to give this character her utmost attention. After all, the first directive of POS Industries is "Let no one corner the market, any market, ever..... unless it's us." Therefore, her programming left her with no option but to deal with this matter before all others.

PROCESSING SCENARIO!
SUBJECT: "The Capitalist"
APPARENT MOTIVE: Production and mass marketing of newly engineered "Bacon Fruit".
RECOMMENDED COURSE OF ACTION: Ascertain marketability of said fruit, then attempt to attain merchandising rights and/or destroy the crop and its current owner. Hug Later!

Energy crackled around the android's hands as she approached Arhra and The Capitalist. Twitching her fingers slightly as the energy faded, Rei bowed to the man as she introduced herself.

"Hi there!" she chirped, smiling cheerily, "My name's Rei! How are you today?"

[Tarrin]

Tarrin regained his sences again, Raising his head he regestered the NPFers around him, A few of the group were new and one was missing (thankfuly that one wasn't him).

Raising himself off the ground he checked that everything was were it was supposed to be, Finding himself in one piece he mixed himself with the group again.
"ooww that hurt, But atleast i've found you all again, Hope it lasts cause i really don't like this place" Tarrin rubbed his neck as he exclaimed his point.

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Meanwhile in the Spirit Relm

"Hey baby, Do you have any Cherokee in you? No, Do you want some?" Once again the guide was slapped across the face, As it turns out spirits can still feel pain.

Looking at his target leave he slid across the bench yet again "Hey do you have any..."

[mauve]

"Lunch?" Mauve asked disgustedly. "Will it involve bacon-fruit? Cuz I'm gonna have to say no if it does." She prodded another fallen fruit with her toe, grimacing.

[Flarecobra]

"I've got some dried fruit in my pack." I said, looking at Mauve Mage. "To be honest, I doubt even a starving hobo would eat this. No offence Fenris."