The thread where Jenny is the most attractive woman on the Internet

[Geminex]

Originally Posted by InsaneGenius

Now that this thread's over I'll have to find another thread to use my shitty pun.
It's just so hard to find an opening. But I'm sure I'll get the perfect opportunity to disappoint you all at some point.

As a representative of the punsman's guild, I hereby demand that you reveal any and all puns hidden within your mind for the betterment of society!

[Osterbaum]

Maybe Seil could search some info on boobs for us.

[Tev]

Originally Posted by Seil

Nah, she just wrote up "I'm hot" on the forum, and when I looked up her screen name on the Google, there were a few images that popped up, that among them.

That's a neat trick. I tried that and found out I have a .org!

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Originally Posted by Geminex

As a representative of the punsman's guild, I hereby demand that you reveal any and all puns hidden within your mind for the betterment of society!

Look! It's the pun police! Sorry, but I have trouble respecting authorities that have no authority over ANYTHING (and some others too). You can't seriously demand me to... reveal all my puns. A good punmancer never gives away his puns before their time has come. He waits for that perfect moment. That one second in time that gives their sly pun the power it needs to blow minds. Only the most cunning linguists manage to hit just that spot in the timeline that gives their twisting of words, language and understanding of such the effect that impresses even the most stubborn anti-pun activist to come out of his shell.
Although I am not among the elite, I knew the time wasn't right.

I'm gonna admit it was pretty close, even posted it, but then I retreated my pun. The moment wasn't perfect. I hope no one saw it, because in this context it was more than just lame.

Originally Posted by Whomper

Now let's get back to talking about boobs.

I like boobs.

[Amake]

Originally Posted by Geminex

As a representative of the punsman's guild, I hereby demand that you reveal any and all puns hidden within your mind for the betterment of society!

I second that motion. Can't have too many puns.

And by motion I don't mean repetitive motions like breasts unrestrained, heaving and rippling in the act of physical motion, the human body a wondrous machine, lithe and arching and slippery from its own juices and quivering at the very edge of endurance when pushed past its limits in the pursuit of some kind of happiness. Yeah, definitely none of that and I'm not writing this under the influence of a muchness of sugar and caffeine or anything.

So are we gonna talk about breasts or what?

[Tev]

I can't tell you how much I enjoy putting breasts in my mouth.

[Whomper]

The woman's asking if we're gonna talk about breasts, and you guys are going on about puns? Please turn in your man cards. Meanwhile, I'll be over here motorboating.

[Amake]

Mmm, chicken breasts. I love chicken. I never understood people who say different kinds of meats taste like chicken*, they don't really taste the chicken I think. It has its own taste, its own texture and fabric and juicyness (dependent as it may be on the skill of the cook and the age and breeding of the animal).

*There's a guy in The Matrix who has a speech about how the Machines couldn't figure out what chicken tasted like which is why it tastes like everything. I think his name is Apoc. It's either Switch, Mouse and Apoc and Switch is the girl. Apoc always confused me. What the Hell is an Apoc? Short for Apocalyspe? It should be some computer hardware but I'm not geeky enough to know what it is.

So about those boobs. I'm a shameless bisexual I think I've covered in other threads, and as such I feel entitled to give my opinions on boobs. They should be attached to girls, not boys. They should be small, pert, and firm. I think my mind is by nature contrarian. Contradictuous. Whatever. Because the popular consciousness insists that huge boobs are attractive, I prefer the opposite. Or maybe I'm just narcissistic. (Oh really?)

Interesting tidbit: While the culturally dominant Untied States of America insists that huge boobs is what makes a woman attractive, a test sponsored by porn mags once showed that this is a national phenomenon. For contrast, here in Sweden it was determined that the sexiest state of womankind is that of a woman "rising from a pool of water". Throughout the sixties, seventies and eighties and maybe some of the nineties you could see a definitive trend of pin-ups of naked women stepping out of swimming pools and rivers and lakes and seas. Drops of water accenturating their skin. Their eyes, in some cases, shining with the particular insight that bathing naked in the sea is fucking sensuous as holy burning Hell. It revs my engine almost as much as the image of Johnny Depp naked and covered in oil.

And then we got fully enculturated with the United States I guess. Who needs a cultural or psychosexual identity when you've got a big, shiny country calling the shots? I imagine this paradigm shift occurred when Soviet fell and America emerged as the world's only superpower. I like collectivism and all but gimme a break.

This has been a drug-fueled rant because I wanted to make, once in my life, something resembling a durnk post, like the cool kids. And we know I can't get drunk.

[Tev]

Originally Posted by Whomper

The woman's asking if we're gonna talk about breasts, and you guys are going on about puns? Please turn in your man cards. Meanwhile, I'll be over here motorboating.

Whomps....you really need to head over to Japan and see what they put in vending machines...

Like really...

[Melfice]

I am utterly confused when I read this thread.
I mean... confused.

Yeah, I get the general gist of the thread (talk about boobs which is generally awesome, and wondering who's surprised Seil stalks people. Also, somebody mentioned motorboating which I'm all for), but still I'm left with a lingering "What.".

Yeah, I guess what I'm saying here is... "Posting in an epic thread", as they say on GameFAQs, though thoroughly confused about it.