Ask Black Mage

[BlackMage]

Ugh, you know I have so many people to kill, maim, and torture. But oh no, I've been forced to come here and answer your questions instead. So since I am in this predicament on top of other things let me lay you little buggers some ground rules first:

1. I do not answer petty insults kiddies, the adults are talking and we have no time for it

2. I don't want you goth kids posting death requests(or threats) that I kill you and/or others. It's probably going to happen anyway

3. You are welcome to post compliments(and let's face it, why wouldn't you compliment me?) or other non-question posts relevant to anything in this topic, but I will not answer them. I'm here to answer questions, I'm a much too busy mage to nswer anything and everything

4. I will not answer questions on saturdays and sundays. I have places to go that I can't disclose, but they are NOT ILLEGAL and they are NOT WHORE HOUSES!!!!!!!!!!!whew, that was a close one BM. You can ask all you want on those days though, but the answers will come on monday.

Now get on with it, ask your fuckin questions.

[Just Jon]

BM! BM! Is it true that you and fighter have been together since you were children, and if so, why are you so incapable of delivering the stabbity death you think he deserves?

Also, what's your take on the watergate scandal? Did Clinton really do those things with that intern? What's the meaning of life?

[Omega]

Whats the meaning of death?

do only cowards want immortality?

[Jack of Spades]

What is your dad's name?

[MFD]

And what's the deal with WM and Blackbelt? They seem to spend an awful lot of fuggin' time together...

[rightwhatwasidoing?]

Dear Black Mage,

I have a bit of a problem. My brain, i believe is dying, because i have not thought up a good plan to assasinate my friend or take over the world in a long time. the last one didn't blow over so well (Damn you soviet soldiers, you betrayed me!), so, is there a plan that you can think up to give my mind a boost? I could really use other's ideas until my brain's back on track. I'm thinking something about mass destruction and enslaving the human race, but anything is good.

From RWWID?.

PS: bet you can't decode my name!

[Jack of Spades]

Religious Weasels Will Immolate Donkeys?

Right Winged Wimps Inevitably Disband?

Rolling With Weiners Is Disgusting?

can you give us a hint?

[slightly aboveaverage man]

Dear Black Mage,

How can you type with boxing gloves on...
oh wait, that's a different email. So, my good pervayor of stabbity death, I would like you to solve a little arguement that me and my friends were having (before I mercilessly stabbed them... Quid Quo Pro!) which is better? Evil Pie or Evil Cookies?

[BlackMage]

Originally Posted by Just Jon

BM! BM! Is it true that you and fighter have been together since you were children, and if so, why are you so incapable of delivering the stabbity death you think he deserves?

Also, what's your take on the watergate scandal? Did Clinton really do those things with that intern? What's the meaning of life?

A1: You mean other than his impenetrable armor? Well I don't really know, the guy semms to have a lot of life in him.(Heh, nice to be able to say that without RedMage correcting me saying, "HP".) I mean seriously, my hadokens don't kill him, and the armor won't deflect them. I've tried everything, but at least he can take the same punishment from monsters when I'm casting something.

A2&3: Clinton? Do you mean King Steve? Well I don't know that much about him other than his low-intelligence and general weirdness. I'm guessing the intern thing and "watergate" were among those weird things. What I do know is that he pratices about 50 executions a year. In a town of population 10,000 that about matches the population growth, so he's doing a good job. Can't really say I have a complaint other than the shitty reward he gave us for rescueing his daughter.

A4: From what I gather per experience, consciousness in a mortal body

Originally Posted by O_mega

Whats the meaning of death?

do only cowards want immortality?

A5: Leaving the mortal coil, once you die you realize how useless it is. On the spiritual plane I could cast hadoken all I wanted, I hate this stupid body!

A6: Of course not, evil wizards aren't cowards

Originally Posted by Jack of Spades

What is your dad's name?

A7: I don't remember if I even had parents at this point.

Originally Posted by MFD

And what's the deal with WM and Blackbelt? They seem to spend an awful lot of fuggin' time together...

A8: I wish I knew so I could be with WhiteMage, but I just don't. I never even bothered to ask WhiteMage that, and BlackBelt wouldn't likely have any idea. Even Fighter never got so lost that he cloned himself, never got lost walking a strait line either. What does that tell you? Judgeing by their persona's they are probably just church pals on some spiritual quest. You know, that typical hippie shit

Originally Posted by rightwhatwasidoing?

Dear Black Mage,

I have a bit of a problem. My brain, i believe is dying, because i have not thought up a good plan to assasinate my friend or take over the world in a long time. the last one didn't blow over so well (Damn you soviet soldiers, you betrayed me!), so, is there a plan that you can think up to give my mind a boost? I could really use other's ideas until my brain's back on track. I'm thinking something about mass destruction and enslaving the human race, but anything is good.

From RWWID?.

A9: Yeah I feel your pain hehe, pain, if I started saying stuff like, " damn you soviet whatever" I would probably have reason to suspect my brain was dying too. Actually from what your post looks like you are probably a dark knight. Dark knights are no good for taking over the world, but they're damn good at commiting terrible acts. The problem is you guys always need direction, but that's okay. So I'll brief you on your first act:

Dark knights usually have access to low level black magic. So you should have Water-2 and Lit-1(aka Bolt-1). Now water spells are commonly overlooked, but with a little ingenuity their dark purpose is served. So walk on down to the local homeless shelter and make sure all the doors are closed as well as the windows. Climb up on the roof and cast Water-2 to flood it, this won't be enough to drown anyone though. Next step, cast Lit-1 on the water. Job well done

Oh and remember, you're dark swords are more painful than harmful. Take full advantage of that

Originally Posted by Jack of Spades

Religious Weasels Will Immolate Donkeys?

Right Winged Wimps Inevitably Disband?

Rolling With Weiners Is Disgusting?

can you give us a hint?

A10: Oh I get it, you're high. Well I tend not to do that as It fucks with my ability to cast spells. Since however you have chosen to and are probably not a mage anyway I can give you some hints:

Marijuana - Not too great, but many seem to like. Give it a try

Alchohol - Easy to get ahold of and delivers a nice, but relaxed high

Mushrooms - Gives 6-8 hour highs, and damn good ones too. Unlike Ecstacy it won't give you a strong 14 hour low. These are pretty much the cream of the crop for getting high, but watch out because they often come laced with other drugs you may not want

Originally Posted by slightly aboveaverage man

Dear Black Mage,

How can you type with boxing gloves on...
oh wait, that's a different email. So, my good pervayor of stabbity death, I would like you to solve a little arguement that me and my friends were having (before I mercilessly stabbed them... Quid Quo Pro!) which is better? Evil Pie or Evil Cookies?

A11: Evil pie, but only because it lasts longer, Evil cookies are certainly much better to travel with though. Plus with Evil cookies I can eat with one hand and stab with the other, I can even hold the cookie in my mouth while I cast spells.

[Wintermute]

Dear BM,

Will you teach me your dark ways?

Sincerely,
Wintermute

[Klyco]

Dear BM

Since you just joined, this the worst idea possible. You are tarnishing the name of Black Mage. This would work better if Brian had did a "Ask Black Mage" He should of did it after cancelling Evil Princess Sara.

[BlackMage]

Originally Posted by Wintermute

Dear BM,

Will you teach me your dark ways?

Sincerely,
Wintermute

A12: Well it took me many years to learn them all but I can give you the basics:

1. Don't fear the law, just sneak around it

2. Magic revolves around focusing your energy to manipulate reality

And most importantly:

3. Become desensitized to peoples screaming, crying, and the greusome sites of their corpses. In fact learn to love it all. It's a bit hard at first but keep with it and you'll get there

good luck, and may the power of evil compell you

[MFD]

Originally Posted by Klyco

Dear BM

Since you just joined, this the worst idea possible. You are tarnishing the name of Black Mage. This would work better if Brian had did a "Ask Black Mage" He should of did it after cancelling Evil Princess Sara.

Actually, this is an existing member, and he already asked Brian if he could do this under the name BlackMage.

[Wintermute]

Aww, you guys are ruining all the fun...

I will take all that to heart, BM. Please don't electrocute me or anything.

[Rayinne]

Dear BM:

1) What is up with you and RM's hat? Why is it such a source of rage to you?

2) Which of the three basic elements do you prefer for destructive purposes?

Sincerely:
Yet Another Person Named After An Electronic Deity

[Drake the Dark]

At last! A chance to ask Black Mage, my idol, some questions!


We'll start by dispensing with the bullshit. No, I'm not going to waste your time with worthless ass kissing and pathetic pleas for your dark powers. I have a rather potent set of my own, thank you, and I'm quite happy with them. (and the poor shmucks still think it was an a-bomb at nagasaki. pffft.)

Anyway, I guess the one, most pressing question would be:

Why the HELL do you like White Mage? I mean, sure, she's cute, but she's way into the "helping others" and "doing good" thing...

[FinnMacCool]

Here's my question.

Dear BM:

I gots me a few questions...But here's the main thorn in my big toe. I have quite a long list of people that I need to kill (around 800 million, to be exact. France, Canada, and most of the Eastern Hemisphere). How would you go about making sure that these dolts do not get the chance to soil the human gene pool any further?

[CHICAGO¤lollie]

*jumps on the question band wagon, trying not to structure his question as if it were for RM*

*ahem*

Dear mage of evil blackety magic, *dammit*
I gotta ask about when you guys sleep at Inns and stuff.

I have many times before scared myself at the image of Red Mage in a dress (oh god, make there be no fan arts of that!) and I've started wondering to myself... Now, you hang out with those guys basically all the time, so, uh, oh, how should I ask this...

Is RM on the other side of the fence?

I don't mean a literal fence either... I mean, walking shoulder to shoulder with them, you might have gotten your inklings towards that idea, right?
What with the "wearing dresses" thing and all.

Dear Black Mage,
Why don't you just commit suicide, so you die and go back to hell, where you can rule? And, why do you listen to Theif? I mean, you could just do stabbity death to him! It's not like he wears any super armor, like that idiot Fighter.
Also, what does your head really look like? I mean, enough of a description that I can vaguely picture it. Is it just physically impossible, or do you have the face of a member of N*Sync? If that's so, I can see why it would cause people to go insane...bleck...
-Cyclone231

[Flarecobra]

All righty then.

Black Mage, I've got several questions for you.

1. Why do you keep going after White Mage when it's obvious she's never going to like you?
2. You vs. the Warmech in this pic. Who would win? Or would you just kick out the pilot and control it yourself?

3. What would be your perfect weapon?

[Funka Genocide]

have you ever tried a dragon slave? I mean it must get old just Hadokenning everything. Don't you need a little variety?

[Domon]

Dear Black Mage:

why do you wear a straw hat or is it straw at all if so why??? and if your hat isnt made of straw then what is it made of?
And what is RM's hat made of?

-Domon
(i think i already have a sig.)

[videogamerz2000]

Dear mage of the blackest darkness...

how many years does it take to become a servant of the incarnations of evil? I was wondering because I want to release my inner demon and i think that just DMC alone won't help....

[Jack of Spades]

Dear Black Mage.

Why do all mages have to wear a hat or hood? Does casting spells make you so physically unattractive that taking off your hat would cause those nearby to turn to stone?

[BlackMage]

Originally Posted by Rayinne

Dear BM:

1) What is up with you and RM's hat? Why is it such a source of rage to you?

2) Which of the three basic elements do you prefer for destructive purposes?

Sincerely:
Yet Another Person Named After An Electronic Deity

A13: It's because he's so obsessed with it. It would be one thing if he thought it looked cool, but no rather his reason is "it gives me a +4 versus whatever and i'm stupid". Plus it makes him look like a wannabe pimp, and worse yet is that the only time he doesn't wear it is when he dresses like a woman

A14: Fire, but they all can be used for evil purposes. Slowly casting Ice-1 on a frostbite victim comes to mind

Originally Posted by Drake the Dark

At last! A chance to ask Black Mage, my idol, some questions!


We'll start by dispensing with the bullshit. No, I'm not going to waste your time with worthless ass kissing and pathetic pleas for your dark powers. I have a rather potent set of my own, thank you, and I'm quite happy with them. (and the poor shmucks still think it was an a-bomb at nagasaki. pffft.)

Anyway, I guess the one, most pressing question would be:

Why the HELL do you like White Mage? I mean, sure, she's cute, but she's way into the "helping others" and "doing good" thing...

A15: Think about it, on top of her red hottness she would make a great ally. Good in bed and good to live with. What I mean is that her white magic when teamed up with my black magic could serve quite the evil purpose. I won't need anymore fleshbag shield who don't know 1+1 if I have a white mage to cure me, mute rival wizards and tons of other stuff.

Originally Posted by FinnMacCool

Here's my question.

Dear BM:

I gots me a few questions...But here's the main thorn in my big toe. I have quite a long list of people that I need to kill (around 800 million, to be exact. France, Canada, and most of the Eastern Hemisphere). How would you go about making sure that these dolts do not get the chance to soil the human gene pool any further?

A16: WILL YOU PEOPLE PLEASE STOP NAMING PEOPLE AND PLACES THAT DON'T EXIST!? IF YOU DON'T I'LL BE SURE TO REMEMBER IT WHEN I AQUIRE ULTIMA!!!!!!!!! Eh, sorry about that. I can tell that you just want to kill people, but please it's getting on my fuckin nerves. I don't recall there even being 800 million people in the world for that matter, but if you say so. Anyway you can use just about any serial killing or mass murder method you wish. Though my favorite is just torching every town I come across with Fire-3, however since the situations will probably very and I'm not clear on wether you have magic or not you'll have to be on your own on this one.

Originally Posted by CHICAGO¤lollie

Dear mage of evil blackety magic, *dammit*
I gotta ask about when you guys sleep at Inns and stuff.

I have many times before scared myself at the image of Red Mage in a dress (oh BM, make there be no fan arts of that!) and I've started wondering to myself... Now, you hang out with those guys basically all the time, so, uh, oh, how should I ask this...

Is RM on the other side of the fence?

I don't mean a literal fence either... I mean, walking shoulder to shoulder with them, you might have gotten your inklings towards that idea, right?
What with the "wearing dresses" thing and all.

A17: Knowing RedMage he's probably Bisexual. After all it would make him that much more "versatile". hehe I've gotta jot that one down

Originally Posted by Cyclone231

Dear Black Mage,
Why don't you just commit suicide, so you die and go back to hell, where you can rule? And, why do you listen to Theif? I mean, you could just do stabbity death to him! It's not like he wears any super armor, like that idiot Fighter.
Also, what does your head really look like? I mean, enough of a description that I can vaguely picture it. Is it just physically impossible, or do you have the face of a member of N*Sync? If that's so, I can see why it would cause people to go insane...bleck...

A18: Because Lich can cast all 10 levels of spells, I can only cast 9. Plus I still have unfinished buisness In the regular world for now. Namely making everyone suffer who's fucked with me

A19: I needed Theif to take me to places were I could wreck havoc, and so far he's succeeded. Besides he's starting to learn his place as of late, and his laws haven't applied to me any more since I cast that one spell anyway

A20: My head looks the way it looks kiddo.

Originally Posted by Flarecobra

All righty then.

Black Mage, I've got several questions for you.

1. Why do you keep going after White Mage when it's obvious she's never going to like you?
2. You vs. the Warmech in this pic. Who would win? Or would you just kick out the pilot and control it yourself?

3. What would be your perfect weapon?

A21: This was sort of answered above. Although her white mage hippie pride probably won't allow her to admit she likes me, if only I could convince her the reward would be well worth it. And who knows I might just break her

A22: Me, but legend has it the warmech is piloted by it's own AI. The right bolt spell may corrupt it in a way that I could control it but I'm not counting on that.

A23: Ultima, even the warmech would be toast in a matter of seconds if I could cast it. Actually there is one more powerful spell. I thought it to exist only in legend until I died and found hell existed, thus the legend behind hell and must exist. In turn this means that the mythical level 11 spell must also exist. You see my minions, this spell is what the gods have. They can instantly create and destroy reality itself with it. Not to mention do gillions of lesser things with it. However they can also use it to restrct access to it and thus no one who is not a god will ever be able to get it. Because in turn they can us it to stop other from restricting access to it and give themselves infinite use of it these aren't the ones to mess with

Originally Posted by Zoamelgustar

have you ever tried a dragon slave? I mean it must get old just Hadokenning everything. Don't you need a little variety?

A24: Hadoken isn't that fun to begin with, it's use feels pretty good though. I generally just use it for big monsters........and bees(hey their stingers are annoying). For innocent townsfolk I use a variety of things. My favorites are things like slowly casting Fire-1 on someone over and over to slowly dissolve them while they scream for mercy, slicing people's faces off, and that acid fusion zombifying trick. The problem with those is that you can only kill 1 person at a time with them. Other stuff such as casting Water-3 Of the coast of a small island with tourists on it cn also be fun

Originally Posted by Domon

Dear Black Mage:

why do you wear a straw hat or is it straw at all if so why??? and if your hat isnt made of straw then what is it made of?
And what is RM's hat made of?

A25: It's made of the same stuff Matoya's hat is, just a different color.

A26: Soon to be shredded material I hope

Originally Posted by videogamerz2000

Dear mage of the blackest darkness...

how many years does it take to become a servant of the incarnations of evil? I was wondering because I want to release my inner demon and i think that just DMC alone won't help....

A27: It doesn't, all you have to do is ask. If it's the art of casting Black Mahic you want, that took me 6 years if I recall right. But unless you learn it from infanthood you want learn past level 6, level 7 if you study hard enough.

Originally Posted by Jack of Spades

Dear Black Mage.

Why do all mages have to wear a hat or hood? Does casting spells make you so physically unattractive that taking off your hat would cause those nearby to turn to stone?

A28: We don't, we choose to wear it

A29: Hell no it doesn't! Do you think WhiteMage would be the hot babe that she is if it did? Or that every other evil chick would keep picking those dark knights over me if it did?

That's it for the weekend kiddies, continue to ask your questions and I'll answer them on Monday

[Klyco]

Dear Black mage whos heart is the same color as his Magics.

I was wondering. Why do you put up with Theifs contracts anyways? Its not hard to compare the power between a Hadoken and a piece of paper. And his supposed "Xerox' copies, were would he even get a copier if you guys are always together?

And also, how would I go about exacting revenge? Theres this annoying Sophmore in my class that never shuts up and thinks he's perfect. How do I go about lets say desacrating his Chevelle? I was thinking key scratches. What would you do?

From your #1 fan,

Klyco. And ladies, Im single.

[Dragonsbane]

why don't you just use magic to control White Mage's mind and MAKE her admit that she longs for you!!??? Or if she doesn't, couldn't you just make her love you with the same spell?

Of late a certain problem has cropped up. I, an aspiring young Black Mage, was approached by a group of freaky-looking elves (dark skin, white hair, even MORE arrogant then normal elves....definite freaks). The highest-ranking female began babbling about the "glory of Lolth" or some other bullshit, probably in an effort to coerce me into helping her cause......you know how elves are......Anyway, I stabbed her repeatedly, then used my magic to torch the others. I later found out these creatures were called "Drow", and they will probably want revenge, since the one I stabbed to death was a High Priestess. Anyway, what should I do about it?

[PsyBlade]

Dear Black Mage,
I was wondering how I could get my problem of doing the right thing even if I'm playing a videogame to go away?
Name as many ideas as you can think of.

[Dystopian Rhetoric]

Dear Black Mage,

I was wondering how unbelievably moronic it is necessary to be to start a "Ask Black Mage" topic?

[Dragonsbane]

Not nearly as moronic as it is necessary to be in order to ask that question.............

[Dystopian Rhetoric]

Expecting that response I compiled a statistic. To ask that question I need to be 87% less moronic that Anarchy_Balsac and his crazy BM thread.

[Dragonsbane]

how did you manage to calculate that, Dytops?

[froofmyster]

Oh my Goody God Gawsh-ness of Evil! BM! BM! I've waited so long to ask these questions! Pathetic, am I not?

1) I have recently engineered a breed of flesh-eating leeches and I was wondering if you could recommend somebody brave (and/or stupid) enough to let me test test them on him/her? Maybe somebody with red hair and matching armor (hint hint)?

2) What is your opinion on Kingdom Hearts and having so little control over Donald and Goofy?

3)Who would win in the following fight to the death: Fighter, RM, Thief, BB, Bikke, and Garland?

4) Do you know Vivi? If so, are you friends? Enemies? Srenetrap evol?

5) Do you have the hots for Lulu?

6) I've spent the last 2 months trying to prove that RM is Sephiroth in diguise. I mean, he's got a sword, long silver hair, a superiority complex, thinks he's got a bunch of powers that he doesn't really have, his goal in life is to reach perfection, and he's a total maniac. What do you think?

P.S. If you decide not to answer any of my questions. Well, let's just say that people will know what you look like without you hat. I HAVE PHOTOS!

[Loyal]

Originally Posted by Dragonsbane

how did you manage to calculate that, Dytops?

Becuase according to some other guy's sig, 44% of all percentages are made up on the spot.

Anyway...

To BM:

Let's say some people are bothering you (by "you" I mean "me"), but you lack self-confidence to tell them to step off. Let's also say that you have no form of Black Magic (or any other magic for that matter) and that I am also a pacifist. Nope, I'm not a White Mage, I just have a dark side which I fear. Violence would only let it loose and therefore destroy my rep as the quiet nerd, not to mention quite a few lives and the loss of sanity of others... What should I do to take care of this?

[froofmyster]

Dude, why haven't you replied yet? We want are answers.

...And why hasn't this thread been sticky-ed yet? I should be? PLEEEEEASE? PERTY PLEASE?

[videogamerz2000]

Dear Mage of Evil Incantations,

My gaming time has rapidly gone down. All I do, other than posting here, is watch TV and eat. I used to play 60+ hours a week. Now I'm lucky if I get 10. Is there something wrong with me?

[reality_deviant]

Dear Black Mage,

1)While you claim to focus your will to harness the powers of elemental chaos, indeed, even serving Lord Chaos himself, you cast the exact same spells in the exact same way every time. Is this what you call "chaos"? It appears far too static, too ordered, to be called such a thing.

2)Would you consider yourself more of a sorceror, or a wizard? Which do you feel is more powerful?

3)How do black mages tell each other apart? Telepathy? Unique pheromone signatures? They don't really care?

4)Do you prefer pancakes or waffles?(drenched in sin syrup, of course) You know, for when I'm cooking you breakfast tomorrow morning...*grin*

[BlackMage]

Originally Posted by Klyco

And also, how would I go about exacting revenge? Theres this annoying Sophmore in my class that never shuts up and thinks he's perfect. How do I go about lets say desacrating his Chevelle? I was thinking key scratches. What would you do?

For your first questions(not quoted) see Answer 19

A30: A car is a rarity in this world. Most of us have to get around by walking and chocobo if we're lucky. Attacking his car is indeed the evil thing to do, but you've got it all wrong. You don't need to desacrate it, you need to destroy it. If you have Fire-1 cast that on the engine, casting Fire-2 on the whole car works as well but that's a waste of perfectly evil magic that can be used to fry a wedding or something. If you can't cast Fire-1 use gasoline and a match, it may take a couple tries but I'm tellin ya he'll be sorry when the car goes boom. Just don't forget to duck, DON'T ASK, just trust me on that one

Originally Posted by Dragonsbane

why don't you just use magic to control White Mage's mind and MAKE her admit that she longs for you!!??? Or if she doesn't, couldn't you just make her love you with the same spell?

Of late a certain problem has cropped up. I, an aspiring young Black Mage, was approached by a group of freaky-looking elves (dark skin, white hair, even MORE arrogant then normal elves....definite freaks). The highest-ranking female began babbling about the "glory of Lolth" or some other bullshit, probably in an effort to coerce me into helping her cause......you know how elves are......Anyway, I stabbed her repeatedly, then used my magic to torch the others. I later found out these creatures were called "Drow", and they will probably want revenge, since the one I stabbed to death was a High Priestess. Anyway, what should I do about it?

A31: Because there is no spell that I have which can do that, believe me I woulda cast it by now if I had it. Sure the charm spell works, that is it serves it's purpose, but it's purpose isn't what you think. It just drives people crazy and confuses them, it's a badly named spell. There actually is a spell that can do that besides the level 11 one, but it's a level 10 white magic spell, and the ones who have it rarely use it. They need a good reason they say, and apparently "because she's hot", "because I'm horny", and "I'm gonna fry your ass if you don't" aren't good reasons.

A32: You're probably not a black mage yourself if you're asking this, so you're pretty stuck kid. There is one solution though, you see the one good thing about goth kids is that they tend to hate elves with a serious passion and they're not afraid of elves like most humans are. So gather a bunch of goth kids together and have them slay the elves like no tomorrow. The goth kids should win, but if your lucky both armies will kill each other off and the world will be out 2 problems instead of one. Heh, have fun kiddo

Originally Posted by PsyBlade

Dear Black Mage,
I was wondering how I could get my problem of doing the right thing even if I'm playing a videogame to go away?
Name as many ideas as you can think of.

A33: Yeah that is a problem. There's not much evil you can do if you can't even kill a fake person. But there are ways of working around that. Handing out potions to the local dark knights and black mages is a good start. Not donating anything to any non-evil cause ever is another thing you can do, but you probably won't be able to do any of the evil deeds themselves per say. However you can always do the right thing for the wrong person, nothing not evil about that

Originally Posted by froofmyster

Oh my not-Goody BM Bee-M-ness of Evil! BM! BM! I've waited so long to ask these questions! Pathetic, am I not?

1) I have recently engineered a breed of flesh-eating leeches and I was wondering if you could recommend somebody brave (and/or stupid) enough to let me test test them on him/her? Maybe somebody with red hair and matching armor (hint hint)?

2) What is your opinion on Kingdom Hearts and having so little control over Donald and Goofy?

3)Who would win in the following fight to the death: Fighter, RM, Thief, BB, Bikke, and Garland?

4) Do you know Vivi? If so, are you friends? Enemies? Srenetrap evol?

5) Do you have the hots for Lulu?

6) I've spent the last 2 months trying to prove that RM is Sephiroth in diguise. I mean, he's got a sword, long silver hair, a superiority complex, thinks he's got a bunch of powers that he doesn't really have, his goal in life is to reach perfection, and he's a total maniac. What do you think?

A34: Yeah but don't feel so down about it, almost everyone is pathetic it's not like you're alone

A35: Fighter already had a run in with something real similar. Oh don't get me wrong it was quite funny indeed but the problem is not only did he survive but oh evilness the dark arts did I not ever hear the end of his screaming, wailing, and crying about the chronic pain he was suffering from it. RedMage would probably keep writing "+20 immunity to flesh eaters" until his idiocy bends reality(AGAIN!!!!), and Theif would probably survive somehow, find a way to cash in on it(I dunno how) and in the end be all happy about it, but BlackBelt, well it's worth a try even though he'd probably fling them all off.

A36: I don't have time for such a thing as games so I don't care. RedMage on the other hand won't shut up about them, so ask him

A37: Let's hope none of them would survive should that ever happen. I seriously can't stand any of them, and Garland is only standing in my way

A38: That was that annoying kid we put up with in black mage school who wouldn't shut up about how black magic could be put to good use. We beat the shit out him all the time and made fun of him.

A39: Ah yes, she wasn't too good with black magic though, but baby those knockers had me going!!!!!!!!! She even made a doll of me I think, but alas we never saw each other again after that day I was kicked out of school.

A40: RedMage is a lot of things, but he isn't a wannabe black mage who thinks he's evil because he fried 1 town and cast a spell that people had a full week to deflect and succeeded in doing so. A momma's boy he may be though.

Originally Posted by Loyal2NES

Let's say some people are bothering you (by "you" I mean "me"), but you lack self-confidence to tell them to step off. Let's also say that you have no form of Black Magic (or any other magic for that matter) and that I am also a pacifist. Nope, I'm not a White Mage, I just have a dark side which I fear. Violence would only let it loose and therefore destroy my rep as the quiet nerd, not to mention quite a few lives and the loss of sanity of others... What should I do to take care of this?

A41: Why do you want to be considered a quiet nerd? There's no benefit to it. And why are you scared to kill a few people and drive others insane? That right there is your problem. Snap out of it and let loose, you're only holding back your evil side. It clearly wants to come out, take the final step and realise your problem, and soon you'll be doing evil like no tommorrow

Originally Posted by videogamerz2000

Dear Mage of Evil Incantations,

My gaming time has rapidly gone down. All I do, other than posting here, is watch TV and eat. I used to play 60+ hours a week. Now I'm lucky if I get 10. Is there something wrong with me?

A42: Well yes, you're asking me weird questions about how you're wasting you're time doing other stuff than you used to. Why would I care how you waste your stupid time if it doesn't involve doing anything evil? Unless it's evil pie you're eating

Originally Posted by reality_deviant

Dear Black Mage,

1)While you claim to focus your will to harness the powers of elemental chaos, indeed, even serving Lord Chaos himself, you cast the exact same spells in the exact same way every time. Is this what you call "chaos"? It appears far too static, too ordered, to be called such a thing.

2)Would you consider yourself more of a sorceror, or a wizard? Which do you feel is more powerful?

3)How do black mages tell each other apart? Telepathy? Unique pheromone signatures? They don't really care?

4)Do you prefer pancakes or waffles?(drenched in sin syrup, of course) You know, for when I'm cooking you breakfast tomorrow morning...*grin*

A43: There are different ways of casting spells that I use. But the mass destruction ones such as hadoken and ultima only need to be cast in one way. Some examples include casting Ice-2 on a swimming pool full of people, or Lit-1 on the same, casting Water-1 then quickly Ice-1 with just the right timing to create a flying blade of ice, etc.

A44: A wizard, sorcerers are just delusional wizards

A45: Different looks, different sounds of our voices, same as we tell everyone else apart really

A46: Oooo are they evil? I'll take both then, gimme

[Flarecobra]

BM,

How do you stay cool in your robes? I imagine that during the summer it can get like a sauna in there. And also, if these two were in an election to be in charge of one of the most powerful political powers in th eworld, who would you go for, King Steve, or Bilke the Pirate?

(Not Part Of the Question) Anyone notice that I'm pretty much the only one in the forums that as a BM-bashing avatar? And I'll give something to those who figure out what I'm talking about for the second question.

[Dante]

Dear Black Mage,

I am a big fan of your work, and I have a few questions...

1) What exactly is Hadoken?
2) Would you take disciples?
3) What is the wing speed velocity of an unladen swallow?