Pirates: On Stranger(er) Tides

Magus · 05-21-2011, 06:17 PM

I have no idea if this actually is based on the bestselling book by Tim Powers. I've had a hard time finding an affordable copy and the credits decided to say "Suggested by" the novel as opposed to based on. So I'm actually guess that the comparisons go as far as having Blackbeard, zombies, and the Fountain of Youth in common and that's probably it...

So anyway! I found this film to be pretty exciting and entertaining. I know, I know. Everybody on the internet hated it. Well, guess what: everybody on the internet hates everything. Yes, it is disjointed. Yes, character motivations don't make a lot of sense. BUT there are some really cool action sequences and fantastical elements occurring. I liked it.

Heck, there was a flamethrower on the front of Blackbeard's ship. I can forgive a lot of problems with the plot if I get stuff like that.

This is easily the best Pirates movie since the first Pirates movie. Take that as you will, of course, but there was something about the plot of the third one especially that was so completely confusing I was very quickly befuddled. At least this film never reaches that level of confusion.

Jack Sparrow seems to be even more...mincing than usual in this movie. I think there was some point in time where the character morphed from being a riff on Keith Richards to actually being an actual homosexual character? I mean, some of the lines with that Penelope Cruz character kind of point to this, since he implies that sleeping with her is something he wouldn't do ever in a million years ( "I'm pregnant with your child!" "I don't remember that!" "You were drunk!" "I've never been that drunk, love"). If so, I'm not sure that Jack Sparrow brings homosexual characters to some new height, but at least there are gay pirates in our entertainment culture now. There weren't before, after all (uh, notwithstanding Pirates of Penzance, I suppose...)

If he is still just supposed to be...Keith Richards-y, I think they are doing it wrong, but hell, it's Johnny Depp's character at this point, he must be the best at figuring out what the hell he's supposed to be channeling.

One possibly valid criticism of this film is that Sparrow is now the character we are expected to relate to, as opposed to the straight-laced Will, with all the other characters being the odd or zany ones. Which means that comparatively the other characters are now odd and zany as hell. It's not a bad thing, but it's not a great thing, either. They need another "normal" character in the film for us to root for and play the straight man to Sparrow's zaniness (the young missionary character in this movie made a good attempt, but seeing as how his storyline kind of...disappeared, I'm not really sure now that he actually was the character we were supposed to relate to? Another confusing aspect of the film that detracts from it).

rpgdemon · 05-21-2011, 11:40 PM

I saw it today, and thought it was pretty decent. Not great, but I liked it.

I think the line that Jack said was in regards to being too drunk to remember something, not the act itself.

Mondt · 05-23-2011, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magus

Heck, there was a flamethrower on the front of Blackbeard's ship.

I giggled like a little girl at this.

Not exaggerating.

Melfice · 05-23-2011, 01:23 PM

I think that bit where Sparrow said "I've never been that drunk, love." just means that he's built up a great resistance to alcohol at that point.
He can get drunk, but never so drunk as to do stuff he'd normally not do.

Also, I think Sparrow is more likely to be bi-sexual (which is still gay, for all points and purposes), since he DID fall in love with Elizabeth Swann in the second film(and he had "stirrings" for Cruz's character, if you've remember).

Professor Smarmiarty · 05-23-2011, 01:26 PM

Haven't seent he movie by why would you put a flamethrower on the FRONT of your ship. That's ridiculous. To be in range of anything you will be so close you won't be able to avoid ramming into them and then not only do you have ram damage you have, Oh shit now I'm on fire too damage.

Melfice · 05-23-2011, 01:32 PM

Yeah, but putting fuses in your beard is an accident waiting to happen as well, and I don't see you complaining about that either. (Blackbeard)

Anyway, since you've not seen the film, I'll just tell you that it's no problem for Blackbeard's ship and leave it at that.

Professor Smarmiarty · 05-23-2011, 01:53 PM

There is no way I'm going to see this film so I demand a full mechanistic drawing of how a flamethrower on the front of the ship works.
And would it even fling flame that well in the same direction you are going? There all kinds of logistics issues there.

Melfice · 05-23-2011, 01:57 PM

Blackbeard can directly control every aspect of his ship with his sword. Don't question it in a film series where you have squid-men (Davy Jones) and a literal skeleton crew (first film).

So, as far as the ramming goes, Blackbeard simply puts the ship in a full stop and/or reverse.

As far as the actual workings of the flamethrower... use your imagination. Again, in a series where the kraken and mermaids actually exist.

Professor Smarmiarty · 05-23-2011, 02:01 PM

I can accept skeleton crews and ancient curses come true but I demand realistic chemical engineering!

Shyria Dracnoir · 05-23-2011, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants

There is no way I'm going to see this film so I demand a full mechanistic drawing of how a flamethrower on the front of the ship works.
And would it even fling flame that well in the same direction you are going? There all kinds of logistics issues there.

The Greeks figured this out a long time ago, Smarty. It doesn't matter how many cannon, bullets, or arrows the other guy can get in you at that range, fire is an automatic death sentence for an enemy ship. The sails go up, the rigging go up, the tar sealing the planks goes up, and god help you if it gets to the gunpowder armory and booze stocks.

05-21-2011, 06:17 PM	#1
Magus Archer and Armstrong vs. the World Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 7,164	Pirates: On Stranger(er) Tides I have no idea if this actually is based on the bestselling book by Tim Powers. I've had a hard time finding an affordable copy and the credits decided to say "Suggested by" the novel as opposed to based on. So I'm actually guess that the comparisons go as far as having Blackbeard, zombies, and the Fountain of Youth in common and that's probably it... So anyway! I found this film to be pretty exciting and entertaining. I know, I know. Everybody on the internet hated it. Well, guess what: everybody on the internet hates everything. Yes, it is disjointed. Yes, character motivations don't make a lot of sense. BUT there are some really cool action sequences and fantastical elements occurring. I liked it. Heck, there was a flamethrower on the front of Blackbeard's ship. I can forgive a lot of problems with the plot if I get stuff like that. This is easily the best Pirates movie since the first Pirates movie. Take that as you will, of course, but there was something about the plot of the third one especially that was so completely confusing I was very quickly befuddled. At least this film never reaches that level of confusion. Jack Sparrow seems to be even more...mincing than usual in this movie. I think there was some point in time where the character morphed from being a riff on Keith Richards to actually being an actual homosexual character? I mean, some of the lines with that Penelope Cruz character kind of point to this, since he implies that sleeping with her is something he wouldn't do ever in a million years ( "I'm pregnant with your child!" "I don't remember that!" "You were drunk!" "I've never been that drunk, love"). If so, I'm not sure that Jack Sparrow brings homosexual characters to some new height, but at least there are gay pirates in our entertainment culture now. There weren't before, after all (uh, notwithstanding Pirates of Penzance, I suppose...) If he is still just supposed to be...Keith Richards-y, I think they are doing it wrong, but hell, it's Johnny Depp's character at this point, he must be the best at figuring out what the hell he's supposed to be channeling. One possibly valid criticism of this film is that Sparrow is now the character we are expected to relate to, as opposed to the straight-laced Will, with all the other characters being the odd or zany ones. Which means that comparatively the other characters are now odd and zany as hell. It's not a bad thing, but it's not a great thing, either. They need another "normal" character in the film for us to root for and play the straight man to Sparrow's zaniness (the young missionary character in this movie made a good attempt, but seeing as how his storyline kind of...disappeared, I'm not really sure now that he actually was the character we were supposed to relate to? Another confusing aspect of the film that detracts from it). __________________ The Valiant Review

05-21-2011, 11:40 PM	#2
rpgdemon Not a Taco Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 3,313	I saw it today, and thought it was pretty decent. Not great, but I liked it. I think the line that Jack said was in regards to being too drunk to remember something, not the act itself. __________________ I did a lot of posting on here as a teenager, and I was pretty awful. Even after I learned, grew up, and came to be on the right side of a lot of important issues, I was still angry, abrasive, and generally increased the amount of hate in the world, in pretty unacceptable ways. On the off chance that someone is taking a trip down memory lane looking through those old threads, I wanted to devote my signature to say directly to you, I'm sorry. Thank you for letting me be better, NPF.

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05-23-2011, 01:26 PM	#5
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	Haven't seent he movie by why would you put a flamethrower on the FRONT of your ship. That's ridiculous. To be in range of anything you will be so close you won't be able to avoid ramming into them and then not only do you have ram damage you have, Oh shit now I'm on fire too damage.

05-23-2011, 01:53 PM	#7
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	There is no way I'm going to see this film so I demand a full mechanistic drawing of how a flamethrower on the front of the ship works. And would it even fling flame that well in the same direction you are going? There all kinds of logistics issues there.

05-23-2011, 02:01 PM	#9
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	I can accept skeleton crews and ancient curses come true but I demand realistic chemical engineering!