Advice

Pixie · 06-08-2004, 10:26 PM

I met a guy a couple weeks ago and immediately fell for him. Every minute I spend with him I get happier and happier. You would think dating would be simple. Problem is, he's leaving for the army in 3 weeks. Should I date him even though over the next couple years I won't get to see him much at all? Or should I wait, and only date him when he comes back. We both have expressed major interest in each other, and are completely falling for each other. Already, I care for him so much, but would it hurt me more to date him and not have him around? Any comments?

Krylo · 06-08-2004, 10:47 PM

Talk it over with him. If you're deciding a relationship you should involve both parties, and probably not random people on the internet.

If you REALLY want to take the advice of random people on the internet, however, I'd say date him, and write him every damn day... don't want him meeting any hot little iraqi girls in your 'apart' time, do you?

Or don't... because it SUCKS being with someone who's far away. I should know.

Pixie · 06-08-2004, 10:52 PM

I have talked it over with him, a lot. He's feeling the same way I am, unsure of the whole situation. The only reason I asked on here is because I was hoping to get other peoples take. How to make it work and such. I've been in a long distance relationship, one that lasted three years, but involving the army makes it so much harder. You can't just call the person to talk. But yeah, I mostly wanted peoples take on the situation, advice on how to make it work. I should of clarified a bit more in the previous post.

Devon Lake · 06-08-2004, 11:06 PM

I guess it depends on what you can cope with. I know I could never deal with being apart from someone so much. I want to be with my lover on a daily basis. But that's just the sort of person I am and you may very well be different. If I were you, I'd just sort let mysef drift apart from the army guy and go find someone better equipped for satisfying my emmotional needs. But again, you're not me. I feel crappy if I don't have my girlfreind around to hug at least once a day. If you're cool with being away from your love for weeks or even months, that's perfectly fine; my dad can be away for weeks at a time for work and my mom's still fine with it.

***RaiRai*** · 06-09-2004, 03:42 AM

It takes a lot of strength. Shiney used to be in the military and it was damn hard for the both of us to keep things together, but we managed pretty well and now we're planning for our future. You just have to keep in contact, make sure you both have the same wants and think if you can handle the stresses of being apart in that situation. I'm sure you can do it if your heart really wants it.

MP37a · 06-09-2004, 08:45 AM

It'd be hard. My one friend she has a b/f in the army and she never really gets to see him cause he's always getting shipped somewhere else. She's been dating him a while and they're still together. But I have to tell you she looks so sad all the time because he's so far away.

So it's not easy but if you're willing to try I'd say go for it. Good luck.

Viper Daimao · 06-09-2004, 10:00 AM

how long is the guy gonna be away for? sounds like you've both got past the initial part of realizing you each like each other. so why not put it on hold? wait till after he comes back to start an intimate relationship. in the mean time, you can go out and have fun with your friends, maybe meet another guy maybe not.

Jack of Spades · 06-09-2004, 10:04 AM

I'd say wait till he comes back from basic. If you still feel attracted to each other than go for it. That way you'll know it's a bit more than carnal attraction.

Aerozord · 06-09-2004, 10:05 AM

I would say go for it. If something did happen you wouldn't wanna think what could have been. You could also live on base with him but if he is called out that wont help. Well I have a long distance relationship and it is hard, though do able. I will tell you my phylosophy...if its true love and ment to be then it will work out if you try. If it breaks down then it wasn't ment to be and one way or another wouldn't work. In other words if you both work hard and truely care for each other distance wont matter. Though I warn you, you must always be willing to let go.

some one wouldn't allow me to let go -_-...you know who you are. Then again guess in that scenario its a ment to be thing. Just make sure you dont push them away and always be honest

cellar_door · 06-09-2004, 10:27 AM

i would say go out with him for the next 3 weeks (even if it is just a bit of fun) and then see where you should take it from there with modern technology long distance relationships must be getting easier ( i dunno ive never had one myself) but it would still be hard

06-08-2004, 10:26 PM	#1
Pixie Bullet Bill Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 337	Advice I met a guy a couple weeks ago and immediately fell for him. Every minute I spend with him I get happier and happier. You would think dating would be simple. Problem is, he's leaving for the army in 3 weeks. Should I date him even though over the next couple years I won't get to see him much at all? Or should I wait, and only date him when he comes back. We both have expressed major interest in each other, and are completely falling for each other. Already, I care for him so much, but would it hurt me more to date him and not have him around? Any comments?

06-08-2004, 10:47 PM	#2
Krylo The Straightest Shota Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: It's a secret to everybody. Posts: 17,789	Talk it over with him. If you're deciding a relationship you should involve both parties, and probably not random people on the internet. If you REALLY want to take the advice of random people on the internet, however, I'd say date him, and write him every damn day... don't want him meeting any hot little iraqi girls in your 'apart' time, do you? Or don't... because it SUCKS being with someone who's far away. I should know. __________________ I am very tired.

06-08-2004, 11:06 PM	#4
Devon Lake Male Girly Girl Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The exact center of the universe. Posts: 322	I guess it depends on what you can cope with. I know I could never deal with being apart from someone so much. I want to be with my lover on a daily basis. But that's just the sort of person I am and you may very well be different. If I were you, I'd just sort let mysef drift apart from the army guy and go find someone better equipped for satisfying my emmotional needs. But again, you're not me. I feel crappy if I don't have my girlfreind around to hug at least once a day. If you're cool with being away from your love for weeks or even months, that's perfectly fine; my dad can be away for weeks at a time for work and my mom's still fine with it. __________________ My Personal Website

06-09-2004, 03:42 AM	#5
*RaiRai* Check mate. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Down your pants. Posts: 2,210	It takes a lot of strength. Shiney used to be in the military and it was damn hard for the both of us to keep things together, but we managed pretty well and now we're planning for our future. You just have to keep in contact, make sure you both have the same wants and think if you can handle the stresses of being apart in that situation. I'm sure you can do it if your heart really wants it. __________________ I AM FURIOUS

06-09-2004, 08:45 AM	#6
MP37a Sacred Samurai Gunslinger Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Wellsville, Ohio Posts: 643	It'd be hard. My one friend she has a b/f in the army and she never really gets to see him cause he's always getting shipped somewhere else. She's been dating him a while and they're still together. But I have to tell you she looks so sad all the time because he's so far away. So it's not easy but if you're willing to try I'd say go for it. Good luck. __________________ "I'm going to wrap you in bacon, and throw you on the grill!!"

06-08-2004, 10:52 PM	#3
Pixie Bullet Bill Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 337	I have talked it over with him, a lot. He's feeling the same way I am, unsure of the whole situation. The only reason I asked on here is because I was hoping to get other peoples take. How to make it work and such. I've been in a long distance relationship, one that lasted three years, but involving the army makes it so much harder. You can't just call the person to talk. But yeah, I mostly wanted peoples take on the situation, advice on how to make it work. I should of clarified a bit more in the previous post.

06-09-2004, 10:00 AM	#7
Viper Daimao Ninja Death God Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Texas Posts: 1,087	how long is the guy gonna be away for? sounds like you've both got past the initial part of realizing you each like each other. so why not put it on hold? wait till after he comes back to start an intimate relationship. in the mean time, you can go out and have fun with your friends, maybe meet another guy maybe not. __________________ "Falsehood is worse than hate, and that must be; if she whom I love, should ever love me"

06-09-2004, 10:04 AM	#8
Jack of Spades Lady Luck is on my side. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The winning hand. Posts: 818	I'd say wait till he comes back from basic. If you still feel attracted to each other than go for it. That way you'll know it's a bit more than carnal attraction. __________________ Imagine...In a world with no stupid people you would never hear: "I wanna see some noise!" "How do I call the cops?" "What die do I use again?"

06-09-2004, 10:05 AM	#9
Aerozord So we are clear Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Former murder capital of the world Posts: 13,824	I would say go for it. If something did happen you wouldn't wanna think what could have been. You could also live on base with him but if he is called out that wont help. Well I have a long distance relationship and it is hard, though do able. I will tell you my phylosophy...if its true love and ment to be then it will work out if you try. If it breaks down then it wasn't ment to be and one way or another wouldn't work. In other words if you both work hard and truely care for each other distance wont matter. Though I warn you, you must always be willing to let go. some one wouldn't allow me to let go -_-...you know who you are. Then again guess in that scenario its a ment to be thing. Just make sure you dont push them away and always be honest __________________ "don't hate me for being a heterosexual white guy disparaging slacktivism, hate me for all those murders I've done."

06-09-2004, 10:27 AM	#10
cellar_door wishes he was bob dylan Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: scotland Posts: 85	i would say go out with him for the next 3 weeks (even if it is just a bit of fun) and then see where you should take it from there with modern technology long distance relationships must be getting easier ( i dunno ive never had one myself) but it would still be hard __________________ theres beauty in everything its up to you to look hard enough cellar door

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