Trollslum Act 2: Under siege by planet Jupiter

Bard The 5th LW · 01-01-2011, 03:07 AM

>Nasryl: Deal with more bullshit

You have just gotten through dealing in medical supplies with Sharl, as seen here. That last patient was probably half-awake during the operation. If he was asleep for all of it, there may have been a greater chance. You could try alternatives, like SOPOR SLIME, but you aren't sure about the safety of that. Sharl is the best for supplying this stuff, but you aren't sure if you can keep affording it.

Wait, whats this bullshit?

>Meddle

You proceed to inject your words into the Memo by Tergum. Now to deal with Aldurin again.

THIS IS STUPID

No fucking way. Really Derpah?

>Nasryl: Go bitch about it to Tergum.

You return to the memo and add your own two boonbucks.

You enter into this little slice of the Team Rocket memo.

Those guys are idiots. Definitely not going to work. In fact, you bet their husktops will just explode in their faces because of Derpah's game and you'll be picking out the shrapnel later today.

Unfortunately, the end was being orchestrated at this moment. Later that day you would go to Team Rocket at the last minute and get a position. It would be a constant point of shame for you through the course of the adventure.

>End: Be orchestrated

Meanwhile, on a small hive overlooking the sea, disaster was forming. Although the adventurous seadog had no way of knowing it, the countdown to doom, and in a sense beginning, had just picked up.

00: 11: 02

Arcanum · 01-02-2011, 05:31 PM

>First, be the timer. Second, finish counting down.

You are now Reztek

>He's still around??!!

That's not even a command!

>What about the timer?

You can not be the goddamn timer!!

>Fine. See what Reztek is doing.

Oh sweet Jegus what happened? What did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!

>Flash back to the horrible thing Reztek did.

You are now Reztek from ten minutes ago. You are currently practicing your WICKED AWESOME grubtar skills in your Respite Block. However just a moment ago you thought you picked up some strange background noise that most definitely did not come from your grubtar.

>Listen attentively to the strange background noise.

Hmm� that almost sounds like� Oh God no! Shelly!

>Check on Shelly double post haste!

This doesn�t sound good. You probably don�t have time to take the stairs. Only one option then. You let rip a couple power chords to warm up, then start strumming away like mad. Crazy psychic lightning is flying left and right as you wield sound itself as a weapon. Man are you cool.

>Get on with it! Shelly's in danger!

Relax, you can't rush this kind of thing. You strike one final power chord and a sonic-psychic-shockwave is unleashed, smashing a hole in the section of the floor you were aiming at. You hop through the hole without hesitation and promptly land in Shelly's habitat, the white sand helping to cushion your fall.

=======>

It looks like Shelly is in a lot of pain. She has collapsed on the sand after crawling as far away from the water as she could.

>Check the water

A quick glance at the water tells you what the problem is. It�s more of those damn eels. There are some multicolored ones there that you�ve never seen before. You�re no SEACREATURE ZOOLOGIST but you�re pretty sure they�re poisonous.

>Oh no! That means�

Yes, Shelly is poisoned, in a lot of pain, and will no doubt die. It's just a matter of time now, and you can't stand to watch her suffer. There�s really only one thing left to do.

=======>

Show lususlog

=======>

You get ready to unleash a lethal concussive blast and put Shelly out of her misery.

=======>

The reader is spared the horrifying scene of a young troll euthanizing his beloved guardian.

>Return to your respite block in a stupor

You wander back to your respite block. You�re not even sure how you got back here. It seems one of your friends is trolling you. You're in no mood to converse with anyone at the moment. The fate of Alternia could rest on your shoulders, with a meteor heading straight for you to make it personal to boot, and you still wouldn't care right now. Not like that would ever happen though, that's just ridiculous.

Flarecobra · 01-02-2011, 06:57 PM

>Be someone else while he collects himself.

Ok, you're now Prion, who just spent the last bit gathering up the fish that were accidently let loose, along with a few more that happoned to swim in. Looking at the husktop, you note a flashing link, along with a message saying that I should click it, to meet the rest of the team.

You proceed to do so, mostly staying quiet to see what they are like.

Then one of them sends you a message.

>Meet new friend.

brutalTrifecta [BT] began trolling StalkerSahagin [SS]
BT: heeey theeereee, piron.
BT: i think sinceee weee'reee supposeeed to be COOPEEERATING on this gameee,
BT: that weee should takeee theee timeee to geeet to KNOW eeeach otheeer a little beeetteeer.
BT: geeet moreee formally ACQUAINTEEED, or howeeeveeer you royal typeees put it.
BT: so, heeello!!! my nameee is burgun treeeieeen.
SS: Piron Glauca.
SS: And I'm royal?
BT: areeen't you? that's what all the purpleee bloods say.
BT: someee blueee bloods too.
SS: I don't.
BT: that works out just fineee, theeen.
SS: I know some consider me savage.
BT: savageee, huh? how comeee?
SS: I hunt my food with my lusus.
SS: And I prefer my fish living.
SS: Nothing tastes better then a fresh kill.
BT: oh. that's good, i gueeess.
BT: i preeefeeer my food cooked and PREEEPAREEED,
BT: but theeen i don't know what seeealifeee is likeee.
SS: You might like Gorrma then.
SS: She loves to do that with food.
BT: sheee's on our teeeam, right?
SS: Yes.
BT: greeeat, greeeat.
BT: meeeans i won't haveee to surviveee on nasty proceeesseeed RATIONS the eeentireee gameee.
BT: do yourseeelf a favor and NEEEVEEER try theeem.
SS: I won't.
BT: theee COMMISSIONEEER seeent meee some sampleees of what theeey feeed us in the military.
BT: it was awful. >:-(
SS: I can imagine.
BT: but yeeeah, that's eeenough about lousy food.
BT: what do you do for fun?
SS: Nothing much.
SS:Most of my time is spent hunting.
BT: weeell, this gameee should beee a niceee change in SCEEENEEERY for you, theeen!!!
SS:Oh?
BT: sureee!!! from the guideee leeerajeee sent me it seeems you can manipulateee theee eeenvironmeeent of your clieeent playeeer.
BT: and i think you'll eeeveeentually beee ableee to VISIT theeeseee other eeenvionmeeents as theee gameee goeees on!!!
SS: Interesting.
BT: yeeeah. hopeeefully it'll makeee moreee seeenseee wheeen it comeees timeee to actually play theee gameee,
BT: but i gueeess until theeen i'll seee you around!!!
brutalTrifecta [BT] ceased trolling StalkerSahagin [SS]

She doesn't seem that bad... Though what did she mean by you being royal? You're just yourself...

You wonder a little more about it before a familior scent reaches your nose. Blood?

>Investigate.

You swim out after making sure your SWIMMING CLAWS were equipped, and are surprised to see your lusus being attacked by a squid!

>STRIFE!

You go in after the squid, aiming for it's vulnerable eye. The tentacled beast had the shark in it's 12-armed grasp, and your lusus's thrashing suggested that it couldn't shake the monster off, and that it was in severe pain.

Grabbing the squid's large head, claw's digging into it's soft skin, you make your way down it's body quickly, as it started to let it go, reaching for you. Taking a pounce of faith, you leap your body forward, and stab deep into the beast's eye, making it spasm in pain. With a fast spin, it throws you off then shoots out a rather unplesent liquid into the water, preventing much persuit from you.

>Examine lusus.

It's in bad shape, it's gills were ripped apart on one side because of the tentacled beast's beak, and it's bleeding badly. It's not swimming, and where it was grabbed, a series of small iris-colored rings can be seen.

>Do what you must.

You sigh, and put it out of it's misery. You stab deep into the wound, aimed at the lusus's heart, killing it quickly. You then start to slash up the body and store it in your Captalouge deck. No sense in letting good meat go to waste. Besides, if something happoned to you, your lusus would've made a meal of your corpse anyway.

> Find someone else who's lusus is alive!

Intern Nin · 01-02-2011, 07:36 PM

> Find someone who's lusus is still alive!

No dice.

>Timer: Have numbers again.

You are now the timer roughly eleven minutes before you run out of any numbers that aren't zero.

> Good, now be the Seadog.

You are now Tennessee Dinner Jacket, the lovable stuffed splashhound who may or may not have been the lusus to some rooftop hopping weirdo when he was alive. You can't actually do anything except lie on the floor with the AMPHIBIOUS IDOL OF CATACLYSM stuck in your mouth, what with being dead and all.

> Be the Adventurer then.

You are now a hornless alien youth with neatly combed hair, garbed in a white collared shirt, tan slacks, and black suspenders. You are on a distant world in a universe that does not yet exist from the perspective of the troll kids. More specifically, you are standing in the kitchen of your house in the wee hours of the morning. It is absolutely filthy in here, just like the rest of the house. It's always like this on the maid's week off. You really need to get a maid to fill for the other one while she's on vacation.

If only your guardian would show just little bit of decorum. It's impossible to deal with that slobbish dame sometimes. How can she keep her business and all that merchandise neat and orderly and not be able to do the same for her own living space? You get the feeling though that this slob act is just that, an act and nothing more. She's doing it to be cute or something you guess.

You're a little peckish so, against your better judgement, you take peek inside the fridge. Oh what a surprise, you find that it is filled with nothing but dried seaweed, fermented beans, jelly candy, and melon-flavored soda. Flipping Japan-ophile. What's a fella got to do to get a normal steak dinner 'round here? Hey, what's that at the bottom? Is that...

Oh good gracious, she did it. After so many threats of doing it, she finally did it. You probably should seen this coming. What reason would she have to buy a bucket? She has a maid. And all that jello pudding... Cripes, would you look at this thing? Is she really going to eat it all? Eh, whatever. You'll just take it with you, on the off chance you'll need a bargaining chip.

Later on today, you will meet up with your friend. And all the trolls will watch in horror as you share the contents of the bucket with-

> OH GOD THIS IS SO DEPRAVED! CAN I JUST BE CAOWAY?

You are now Caoway, the adventurous seadog/terrible author. You are slumped over a stump with one of your fishing hooks stuck in it. You slowly push off of it and puke out some sea water. Or it could be blood. Kind of hard to tell in this light.

> Caoway: Survey damage.

Once the world stops spinning and comes back into focus, you cast your gaze towards the hive. You've been washed a small distance down the cape, but you can see from here that the hive is still standing at the very least. That was close though, if this stump hadn't caught you you might've been thrown over the...

You realize that you don't see Beechie anywhere.

> Caoway: Look over the edge of the cape.

Earlier you looked over the side and saw some sharp rocks below. And that's all you're going to see when look. You'll see those stupid rocks, sigh in relief and then go find Beechie so you both... can...

Your lusus lays limp at the bottom, with a sharp rock running through his chest and out his back. Dark sea green blood trickles down the rock and mixes into the pools of sea water that have accumulated there.

You continue to stare down for a while, paying no mind to the increase of meteors in the sky nor the trolling of your friend. You do nothing but stare at Beechie's body.

> Caoway: Snap out of it.

You try...

No, you don't even try. Beechie is dead. All you can think about is that he's gone. It's all your fault too. He rushed out of the hive because he was scared, because he was looking for you. If you had cut up that lordwhale earlier, you could have stayed in the hive and calmed him down. You could've have stopped him.

> Caoway: These things happen. There was nothing you could have done.

No, there was. You knew this would happen. You knew when you contacted yourself. You knew and you did nothing to stop it.

It's too much to handle. You fall to your knees next to the stump. Your arm moves on its own, scraping away at some wet soil. You don't notice. You're too busy thinking about how you'll eventually let Beechie die. You're too wrapped up to notice your own hand pluck some metal object out the earth and then press against your head.

You let this happen. After all the horrible things that happened to your lusus because of you, you finish it with letting him die. You could've tried to stop it. It probably wouldn't have worked, but you could've at least tried! Instead, you prattled on about a stupid game and getting you in and the stupid snippets of fucking future wisdom.

You as good as summoned the wave that threw him off this cliff.

> Caoway: Remember.

You remember all the things you told yourself. Were just lying to yourself to save your own life, even though your lusus would die? That doesn't sound like you. Were you telling the truth when you said that your friends would need you? Or were you just saying what you needed to hear at the time?

You remember the last thing you said to yourself before you apologized for the bad day and logged off.

"Things will get better."

> Caoway: Believe.

Your clutch loosens and the metal object falls out of your hand and hits the wet ground.

You don't have much of a choice now. No lusus, no future on this planet. What choice do you have but believe in yourself?

Gog, that sounds stupid.

> Caoway: Get up.

You do just that. You got a game to play.

But...

You're not leaving Beechie behind. It's low tide and easy access to anything in your sylladex. A tin can is retrieved and crushed in your trollian clutch. It's alien vegetable contents fly upward and then arc back into your open mouth. You feel like you could move mountains.

You arm yourself with trusty pole-and-line and perform a perfect cast over the edge, wrapping the line around your fallen lusus. You firmly plant yourself behind the stump and begin reeling it up.

The corpse slides off the rock like some kind of morbid shish-kebab and rapidly ascends to the top of the cape.

> Caoway: Grab lusus' corpse and go do what you have to do.

You heft him on to your back. The weight should've crushed you, but the effects of the vegetation make the body feel a light as a bag of cotton candy.

Show lususlog.

You head back to your hive. The damage the wave did to the hive becomes more apparent as you draw closer. And, for the first time that night, you glance skyward. You see that the stormsclouds have cleared, something you failed to notice earlier.

For the first time, you see all the falling lights. One light in particular seems very bright. And seems to be growing bigger. You pick up the pace and hope that Leraje has already connected.

00:08:39

Menarker · 01-04-2011, 05:05 PM

> Install SGRUB

Sharl jumpstarts the INSTALLATION FILE sent to him prior. It is now installing in the background. Your hivetop works pretty well, so it is progressing nicely if you say so yourself.

Oh? Your Trollian window is flashing.

> Check for new messages.

Convo with Gorma

Sharl clasp his prized helmet with both hands and push down as if making it even more snug than ever! No way is he parting with this wonderful object!

> Do quick inventory check of Warehive!

Sharl stands proudly from his lofty 2nd floor walkway with his hands clenched at his hips, mentally reviewing all the items roughly organized on the floor and on top of wooden pallets and steel shelves! The items you have promised to deliver are nicely set near one of the wide pulley doors. But there is one section near the center of the warehive that would make a jaded troll of 30 cycles weep!

> Admire your PRISTINE PYRAMID OF PLACEBO TIGERSNAKE OIL!

IT IS MAJESTIC!
IT IS TALL!
IT IS GOING TO MAKE SHARL A TON OF BOONBUCKS!!!

Stacked with the most precise of care, each glass bottles of light brown liquid the size of a TAB DRINK CAN tower above almost reaching the second floor! It took several hours of painstaking precision... but it is now complete! Soon, you'll enter the market with this wonderous good! Cures all ills! Attract the opposite gender! And repels tigers! AND SNAKES!

It is made out of minced tiger snake, crushed asprin and bone-bulge excrement!

BANG

>WHAT THE HELL IS THAT NOISE?

Peering from the walkway above, one can see a white apeish lusus tinted gray standing on the floor.

UGGH GUUUUUHHHUUGH EH GITTTT! UGH UGH UGH! DREK DREK UUUUU UoooGAHH UoooGAHHH!

It motions with vigorous and agressive gestures, especially pointing to its own greedy hands!

"Oh, come ON! Not now Ayres! I don't have the goods on me right now! I got several deliveries to deal with! I'll give you your rent when I get it from them!"

It is unclear if it understood you. But one thing is clear. Sharl's face was absolutely livid as the lusus starts repossessing the nearest warehive goods it decided to confisicate!

"STOP THAT! I GOT A CLIENT POTENTIALLY INTERESTED IN THAT!"

It paid no mind as it suddenly decided to take one bottle of your TIGERSNAKE OIL, possibly reasoning you wouldn't miss one.

> OH JEGUS! SAVE YOUR -!

It was a disaster beyond any reckoning. Displaying the mental intellect of a mere grub, the lusus yanked out the bottom most corner of the entire pyramid before the troll could respond. Lacking one of the cruical keystones, the entire mountainous structure of FRAGILE GLASS BOTTLES cascaded onto the ape like a thunderous avalanche, shattering in a rain of broken glass and pee against each other and its large body!

Within seconds, the floor was practically soaking in piss which was fortunately draining away in the DRAINAGE GRATES located strategically for the express purpose for the bi-cycle warehive cleaning sweep! But the damage is done. Hundreds of bottles lay shattered on the floor, with only a few dozens on the opposite corners left unscathed.

> THROW DOWN YOUR HAT IN DISGUST!

It's a BUCKET!

However, Sharl obliges as he wrenches the headwear and slams it against the metal walkway with a thunderous boom. Then he picks it up again by the handle, carrying it with him as his eyes are wide open with shock and trembling hands.

> Mourn

"WRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYY!!!!!????

What did I ever do to deserve this fate! ALL THAT EFFORT AND MATERIALS! GONE IN INSTANT! THIS IS GOING TO TAKE FOREVER TO CLEAN UP!"

> I meant mourn your lusus.

Lusus?

"OHHHHHHHH! YES!
HE!
IS!
GONE!!!!
HUZZZZZAH! NO MORE PAYING STUUUPID RANDOMLY TIMED RENT! I'M FREEEEEEEEE"

> ...Nevermind. Guess you should clean up this mess.

WITH GUSTO!

Sharl rush toward the warehive crane with a hop in his step as the pincers are lowered and clench powerfully against the soaked and glass riddled ape and pulled the limp mass up in the air, as the device smoothly sails toward the dumpster...

CRA-BOOMM-UHUHUHUHDDERRRRRR

> What the hell was that!?

The warehive shudders and rocks hard from the tremors of an unknown force! The crane dropped the stupid ape as it slipped from its grip onto a conveyer belt.

Sharl could do nothing but watch as its body got carried toward a small opening with a mess of operating gears which got jammed with the foreign object. Pipes starts whistling, one or two even bursting, spewing out hot geysers of steam.

"HOLY SHIT! WHAT A MESS THAT RETARD MAKES EVEN AFTER DEATH!!!"

Sharl rushed to his power breaker and pulled down the switch, shutting down the power for the main warehive until later... hopefully.

Gawd... need a break.

> Check on your game!

Might as well. Sharl's expression was a complex twist of emotions and a flenched fist. He smiled ever so faintly when he saw the game had finished installing.

> Someone is contacting you! Check it out!

Convo with Tergum

Message to melancholicChumly [MC]

> Be someone else

Geminex · 01-05-2011, 07:12 PM

> Be someone else

You are now... someone else! You wonder who? It is dark, and your armored carapace clanks softly as you make your way towards a light shining ahead of you. Time to find out where you are. And who you are.

> Emerge
It appears that you are Kcir Yeltsa, the imperial drone!
You blink in the light of the moon as you emerge from the network of tunnels. It's been a while since you smelled the night air. A while indeed. Your journey through the tunnels was not a pleasant one. Dead end upon dead end, getting lost, backtracking. An maze, and an unsolvable one at that. Unsolvable because the only exit, as you are determining, leads back out of the mountain.

It was a lonely journey, through the tunnels and caves. No company, no sound. Just the dust, the rock, the mountain, the light of your torch... and the rage. Oh, the rage. Rage for being injured and defiend. Rage at being lead down here. Rage at being tricked into that maze of tunnels.
It is an intense rage. Powerful. Merciless. Barely controllable.
This rage could move mountains. You smile grimly at the throught, because you know you could. You are an imperial drone, albeit one in training. You do not rest. You do not sleep. You could tear this pile of rock down, given enough time. You've got the strength, you've certainly got the motivation. But you think... you think it might be more time-efficient to climb it instead.
You feel an intense jolt of affection for your SCALING SPIKES as you summon them from your Sylladex.

> Yeltsa: Ascend.
You begin to climb towards the object of your hatred. He will regret this.

Geminex · 01-09-2011, 10:36 AM

> Be past Scalis
You regret that you are now PAST SCALIS

In a rare display of sociability, you recently invited a FRIEND to your LIBRARCHIVARY, so that he may admire the great accumulation of knowlege that is your hive. You are also determined to get him into reading things other than picture books, and this was a great opportunity to do so.

As such, you left him in READING HALL 3, warning him not to touch anything, and dashed off to find the longest and most incomprehensible books in your collection! It is your firm belief that, exposed to this kind of literature, he will not be able to resist, and finally leave those childish comics behind.

You grunt as you pull the 2000-page volume "PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ONE-DIMENSIONAL LOVE AND THE NATURE OF SOCIETY AND GENDER ROLES AND A VARIETY OF OTHER THEMES EXPLORED IN THE COURSE OF AN EXTENSIVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO EXTREMELY BLAND CHARACTERS" from a top shelf and grin to yourself. This'll get him.

> Return to waiting friend

You decide that you have sufficient literature for your purposes, and decide to get back to the reading room. You doubt he could commit any serious vandalism in the time you were gone, (he's not a complete child, after all), but why take a risk?

> Listen! Do you smell something?
As you hurry back along the shelves, your nose detects a strange, terrible, piercing odor, and you become instantly alert. Something... is wrong. You carefully put down the stack of books you're carrying and, keeping close to the shelves, your eyes flicking from shadow to shadow, you continue on your way. You don't know what this could be, you've never smelled this before in here... though you could swear it smells like... naaah. Probably an anomaly of some sort. You'll take care of it.

But as you approach the reading room, you realize the smell is getting stronger, and you worry. If it had manifested in there, and caught your friend by surprise... You dread to think about it.

Your path takes you back to the reading room, and your suspicions are confirmed. You brace yourself for gore and insanity, ready your combat tomes and leap into the room, rolling and fluidly coming to your feet, scanning the room for threats. But there seem to be no threats, or friends, in here. An empty room, shelves of books, reading tables and, in the center of the room, a sad, forlorn pile next to a desk, emitting the stench you've been following...

Wait. That's no anomaly. That's a book.. That...
He...
Why would...
That little...

...

pandorasArchivist [PA] started pestering spectacularHellion [SH]
PA: ZEEEEEEBREEEEEEEK

>Past Zebrek: Get the hell outta dodge.

You can't get the hell outta dodge because you don't know where the exit to this dumb LIBRARCHIVARY is!

Who the hell designs these things with impossible goddamn architecture anyway?

>Past Zebrek: Get trolled by Scalis.

You HUSKTOP is informing you that you are getting trolled. You'll have to retrieve it from your sylladex if you want to respond, though.

>Past Zebrek: Retrieve husktop.

You can't do that!

>Well why the hell not?

Because in order to retrieve things from your sylladex you need to draw them with your PICTIONARY MODUS!

>Why didn't you just say so?

You're busy running, remember?

>Whatever, just draw the husktop will you?

You attempt to draw your husktop.

Unfortunately your shitty drawing skills are not at all improved by the fact that you're running.

>======>

You get a ghost image of gay musclebeast porn. Great.

> Stop ogling image and be the angry troll

You continue to regret that you are now Scalis

> Examine disaster

A desolate wind, seeming coming from the depths of your hive, begins to blow through the hall. Just a book, you try to tell yourself. Just paper and ink. You are reasonable, after all. You have millions of them, more. Just... a book.

But these thoughts seem flimsy and fragile, and as the wind swells around you, you lose your grip on them, and they fade awayaway. And you don't mind. Because this wasn't just a book, it was your book. Your work. And what happened here... was worse than mere destruction. It was blasphemy.

Still, you might have left it at that. Ejected the intruder, barred him from returning. But an errant gust sends a torn scrap of parchment tumbling across the room. One of the last remains of "The life and times of troll Jegus" comes to rest at your feet, half a sentence still visible.

"us spake Jegus: 'For we must guard against the evils of the mind, lest they become the evils of our world.' And then the crowd t"

Your gaze lands upon the sentence, you remember writing it. Remember what it means. And as you read it, the ever-present rustling of paper suddenly grows in volume, as if driven by the bleak wind swirling around you, crescendoing into something that sounds a lot more... alive than paper has any right to sound. Less like rustling and more like... applause.

And as you feel goosebumps running down your back at the eerie noise, you realize that evils of the mind must indeed be fought. And you realize that an anomaly can take many, many forms. Including this kind of... corruption. And if there's one thing you do well, it's stamping out anomalies.

The other is uninentionally running into stacks of gay pornography, but as you heft your combat tome and set off in pursuit of your former friend, you hope that won't come into play.

And as you run through the dark ailes, along shelves untouched for eons, applause still ringing in your ears, wind at your back, rage and a terrible purpose in your heart, you ask yourself.
What would Jegus do?

pandorasArchivist [PA] started pestering spectacularHellion [SH]:
PA: zebrek
PA: you
PA: will pay

> Go back to the Anomaly
Who?

> The Blasphemist
Who?

> Be Past Zebrek
Oh, him

>Past Zebrek: Stop running and draw husktop.

You stop running and are able to draw a slightly less shitty rendition of your husktop.

>======>

Looks like your PICTIONARY MODUS bought it! You retrieve your husktop.

>Past Zebrek: Read trollog.

It appears Scalis talked talked to you. Pay? He didn't say anything about a cost for admission!

This is a boring place anyway! Why would they charge you?

>Reply.

SH: dude you didnt tell me i had to pay for anything when you let me in why

>Keep running.

You keep running.

>======>

You run right into something!

>======>

You appear to have run into some contraption of sorts. You weren't really looking at where you were going, but this place looks like some mad scientists' lab.

You wonder why Scalis would have a place like this.

>Who cares? SHINY THINGS!

You cannot take commands right now because you are too busy playing with the shiny things!

You poke a shiny thing and it proceeds to fall down to the floor and break into pieces.

>Play some more.

Yay!

> Get flashback overdose and return later

mauve · 01-09-2011, 07:37 PM

> Get flashback overdose and return later

You are treated for flashback overdose once the paramedics arrive. Once your vitals are stable again, you get a strict talking-to about the dangers of flashback useage and they leave. You'll get the bill in the mail.

> Oh... kaaaaay. Be someone else.

You are now GORRMA.

You are sitting on the floor in one of the SUBTERRANEAN STORAGE ROOMS in the lower levels of you HIVE. Your HUSKTOP is in front of you, and you are TYPING.

> Troll someone.

You fail to TROLL SOMEONE. You just finished trolling a bunch of people a few minutes ago, don't you remember? You had jumped into TEAM FORTRESS' SUPER SECRET MEMO to discuss the upcoming game. It sure sounds exciting.

But then you got bored and stopped responding. That was a while ago. Now you're just typing out some new RECIPES you want to try.

====>

Suddenly, you hear a NOISE. It came from one of the blocks on an upper floor. Hm. That's odd. Wonder what it could have been?

> Hear noise again.

====>

> Go investigate.

====>

> Open door.

> Be someone else for a while.

Arcanum · 01-11-2011, 03:31 AM

> Be someone else for a while.

You are now Reztek again.

> What? So soon? What's the catch?

No catch. He's just an emotional wreck right now.

> Reztek: Stop mourning. Find joy in the ~~long~~ full life Shelly lived.

Yeahh... about that. You can't give him commands right now. Emotional wreck and all that.

> Be a Reztek who isn't totally useless

You are now Reztek precisely ??? hours in the future. You just got back from a crazy journey through time in order to exact revenge against Tergum. Well a Tergum anyway. What's important is that you created a doomed time line that will serve as his personal hell for the rest of his doomed existence, which is substantially longer than one might think thanks to some creative tinkering. That's what he gets for not keeping his mouth shut.

> Reztek: Observe surroundings

You are currently inside a lab in the Veil. You had to get pretty creative while creating that doomed time line and the equipment in here sure helped out a lot. This lab is primarily monitoring equipment, but that's all in another room. The room you're in right now has a bunch of broken computers. There used to be a working one but then there was some sort of incident.

> Reztek: Remember the incident

Not much to remember. The computer simply exploded. In fact you are missing part of your arm and bleeding profusely. This doesn't look too good.

> Reztek: Inform future-friends about this development

You can't because you don't have a computer. You lost your Husktop some time ago and were too busy to get a new one. It's not like you didn't have the time to get a new one, it's more like the doomed versions of your friends kind of shunned you once they found out you were dooming them to spite Tergum.

> Reztek: Recall what you were doing before the computer exploded

You were sharing your recent efforts in a memo, making sure Tergum knew what you did. The memo, or at least the important part, went something like this:

show memorymemolog

> Wait so that means...

Yes this Reztek is doomed. Was that not clear? It seemed fairly obvious.

> Reztek: Find something useful to do before you die

Well there is one thing you can do, and since you're down an arm this one thing seems perfectly suited to you. Fated, one could say. You wouldn't say that though. Fate is a load of muscle-beast defecation. There is only the cold slap of Paradox Space's pimp hand telling you to get back to work.

> Reztek: Obey the pimp hand

You leave the charred and blood-spattered room you were in and emerge into a much larger lab. You take a brief moment to reminisce about the days you spent here, toiling away with a team of stable-time-looped yous as you orchestrated events to perfection. You hope Tergum cherishes those pictures you sent him.

But for now you have other work to do, and you need to find the right meteor for the job.

> Reztek: Check the giant monitor on the wall

The over-sized monitor shows where and when all the meteors will impact Alternia once the Reckoning starts. You can even alter the course of some of the smaller meteors if you are so inclined, but that requires placing elaborate devices in the right spot that will properly alter the trajectory of the meteor, AND making sure they don't activate until after the meteor enters the Skaian Defence Portals. You know this because that's how you created certain crucial events in the Doomed Tergum Time Line before he entered the Medium.

> Reztek: Science the shit out of this thing

You don't know what that means. Instead you hit a few buttons and turn some dials and before you know it you see the drone-made lake where your hive rests on the display. Obviously there's a large meteor designated to hit your hive dead on, but there are also several smaller meteors that will land in the lake before the large one hits. Three of them catch your eye; two that are perfectly suited for your current mission, and another one that has a peculiar target. It will land right beside your house, in the water, and if you remember correctly that's where the filtration system pumps for Shelly's habitat are located.

> Reztek: Quick! Save Shelly!

You can't! If you alter the course of the meteor then you will just create another doomed time line! You would just be prolonging the inevitable. Besides it's not that bad. You were able to talk to her after you started playing the game.

> Reztek: Track the two meteors of interest

You only need to track one of them. A quick dial turn and a button press reveals the location of that particular meteor in the Veil.

> Reztek: Transportalize!

A few transportalizations later and you're on the right meteor. Now time to wait for the Reckoning, which won't happen until five seconds later in your personal time line because you'll have traveled to the future because waiting for things to happen is for chumps without time powers.

But you can't see that happen because it's still a mystery what kind of device Reztek uses to travel through time, and it would be cheap if you found out before you were supposed to. Doesn't it suck having to wait for things to happen, chump?

The SSB Intern · 01-14-2011, 01:25 AM

> SEGUE

Surprise! You're Vintag once more!

ARGH. The speedy one is not answering you. How are you going to perform your mockery of death without your pies!? This is just completely unpr- oh hey, Capiti's trolling you.

> Have your mind blown.

You have this conversation(?) with Tergum.

Oh shoot, the world's at its end and you have to fight for your survival. This is just your luck.

> Throw bowler hat down in disgust.

If you can't physically abuse your accessories whenever you get in a lather, what good are they? Just need to get this... conk suck... hat...!

For crying out loud! The thing's stuck on your horns. Screw it, you'll express your rage later.

> Go converse with that spastic thing again.

His name is Vicki. And he can't really talk, it's a parlor trick for scamming unsuspecting rubes. Also, where the hell is he?

You pace back and forth in front of the kitchen's entrance, his last known location. Your eyes dart in all directions, the taste of blood seeping from your lips. You're biting too hard. You try to ease up. Vicki doesn't wander off on his own.

...Well, okay, yeah sometimes when you're out on the town something catches his eye and you lose track of him. But he keeps himself out of trouble, right?!

Except for that one time in the park-

*BOOM*

> Freak the fuck out.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!

A flash of brilliant crimson cuts through the penthive, followed by a deep, baritone shuddering. You nearly jump out of your shoes from the shock and delicately land on a wooden cylindrical flattening device. It gives out under you and you land on your face in the most unpleasant of manners.

Why do you have one of these. You don't know how to bake.

From your crumpled vantage point, you can see your lusus by the windowsill, illumined by the flashes outside. You scamper to your feet and sprint over to him as fast as your legs can take you. Vicki is looking out onto the city below. You address him accusingly.

He doesn't respond.

You repeat, louder.

His gaze doesn't leave the city.

You growl in frustration. Your dreams have been crushed, an obnoxious twerp became your boss, and you realized how much of a flighty idiot you've been for hording all this useless crap. You are not about to take insubordination from an overgrown fluffy-tailed rat. You scream at him and ready your hand for some good ol' rage expression.

...You stop. He's shivering, practically quaking, all over his body. You look up to see his eyes dilated and filled with tears. You lower your hand into his paw. He grips tightly. Minutes pass, and he calms.

The city is crumbling beneath an ocean of flame. To the left, the theater stands gaudily amidst countless other buildings. You knew the manager and he gave the two of you a gig when you were still starting out. The face of the building was decorated with hundreds of light-bulbs that shone on the marquee and the bar hopping youngsters swarming the sidewalk. The bulbs popped one by one from the heat, until the sign finally crashed down. Off to the right, the park was still intact, but the waves of light encroached on it. A jittery mass of black dots stood in the center. From your window, they looked like insects, tiny creatures being tormented by a giant magnifying glass and some, unseen sick-minded troll. You look up and see the night striped with red. It's as if the Alternian sky was some red-blooded mutant hobo who had just been eviscerated by the rusty box cutter of a discontented meter maid. You briefly pause to wonder how that simile came to be in your mind.

This is what Tergum was talking about.

> It's time to go.

Finally, you look back to Vicki. He's no longer in shock, just slumping. You inform him that due to the impending apocalypse, all rehearsals and performances are canceled until further notice. The two of you will be going on a trip with some friends.

He inhales deeply and bends over, reaching down his side. As he comes back up, you notice the top hat is in his gloves. He exhales, places it on his head, and looks over at you, smiling. You laugh, despite everything.

>...Move it along.

Preparations need preparing, so you begin to race to the kitchen for supplies. A thought crosses your mind, and you slide to a stop, and turn back to Vicki. You take the Dead Pan out of your sylladex, ejecting a rotten egg into the air in the process. It lands on your hat.

Gogdamn modus.

You hand the skillet to your lusus and instruct him to stay put and hit anything that appears over the head. Be careful with it, though. This pan was made from the remains of a very important folk hero. Vicki winces.

> Get going already!

OK! GEEZ! You head off, your first stop the laundry block, to get this putrid head covering a wash.

> Lusus: reflect.

You are now Vicki.

Vintag seems like she has a strong handle on the situation, and from what she says, there will be survivors. And yet, a feeling of dread is draped over you. The cooking instrument dangles uselessly at your side. Dead weight.

Hehe, you'll have to remember that.

You bring it up to your face and examine it in muted awe. Could you really hit something with this? Could you take a life to save your own? ...Or maybe hers?

Your thoughts turn to her. So strong. Practically raised herself. Now, she takes charge and even looks out for you. She'll get through this with ease.

You, on the other paw, were never meant for any of this. You just follow orders and maybe do a few stupid dances. ...Maybe...

You hold the pan at arm's length. A feeling seems to pulsate from it, like an inviting warmth from a fireplace, or the familiar tingle of a pie flung in your face. Frenzied thoughts race through your mind.

Wouldn't you just be slowing her down?

...

> Reader: Abscond.

01-01-2011, 03:07 AM	#1
Bard The 5th LW Feelin' Super! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 4,191	Trollslum Act 2: Under siege by planet Jupiter >Nasryl: Deal with more bullshit You have just gotten through dealing in medical supplies with Sharl, as seen here. That last patient was probably half-awake during the operation. If he was asleep for all of it, there may have been a greater chance. You could try alternatives, like SOPOR SLIME, but you aren't sure about the safety of that. Sharl is the best for supplying this stuff, but you aren't sure if you can keep affording it. Wait, whats this bullshit? >Meddle You proceed to inject your words into the Memo by Tergum. Now to deal with Aldurin again. THIS IS STUPID No fucking way. Really Derpah? >Nasryl: Go bitch about it to Tergum. You return to the memo and add your own two boonbucks. You enter into this little slice of the Team Rocket memo. Those guys are idiots. Definitely not going to work. In fact, you bet their husktops will just explode in their faces because of Derpah's game and you'll be picking out the shrapnel later today. Unfortunately, the end was being orchestrated at this moment. Later that day you would go to Team Rocket at the last minute and get a position. It would be a constant point of shame for you through the course of the adventure. >End: Be orchestrated Meanwhile, on a small hive overlooking the sea, disaster was forming. Although the adventurous seadog had no way of knowing it, the countdown to doom, and in a sense beginning, had just picked up. 00: 11: 02

01-02-2011, 06:57 PM	#3
Flarecobra Burn. Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Classified Posts: 11,017	>Be someone else while he collects himself. Ok, you're now Prion, who just spent the last bit gathering up the fish that were accidently let loose, along with a few more that happoned to swim in. Looking at the husktop, you note a flashing link, along with a message saying that I should click it, to meet the rest of the team. You proceed to do so, mostly staying quiet to see what they are like. Then one of them sends you a message. >Meet new friend. brutalTrifecta [BT] began trolling StalkerSahagin [SS] BT: heeey theeereee, piron. BT: i think sinceee weee'reee supposeeed to be COOPEEERATING on this gameee, BT: that weee should takeee theee timeee to geeet to KNOW eeeach otheeer a little beeetteeer. BT: geeet moreee formally ACQUAINTEEED, or howeeeveeer you royal typeees put it. BT: so, heeello!!! my nameee is burgun treeeieeen. SS: Piron Glauca. SS: And I'm royal? BT: areeen't you? that's what all the purpleee bloods say. BT: someee blueee bloods too. SS: I don't. BT: that works out just fineee, theeen. SS: I know some consider me savage. BT: savageee, huh? how comeee? SS: I hunt my food with my lusus. SS: And I prefer my fish living. SS: Nothing tastes better then a fresh kill. BT: oh. that's good, i gueeess. BT: i preeefeeer my food cooked and PREEEPAREEED, BT: but theeen i don't know what seeealifeee is likeee. SS: You might like Gorrma then. SS: She loves to do that with food. BT: sheee's on our teeeam, right? SS: Yes. BT: greeeat, greeeat. BT: meeeans i won't haveee to surviveee on nasty proceeesseeed RATIONS the eeentireee gameee. BT: do yourseeelf a favor and NEEEVEEER try theeem. SS: I won't. BT: theee COMMISSIONEEER seeent meee some sampleees of what theeey feeed us in the military. BT: it was awful. >:-( SS: I can imagine. BT: but yeeeah, that's eeenough about lousy food. BT: what do you do for fun? SS: Nothing much. SS:Most of my time is spent hunting. BT: weeell, this gameee should beee a niceee change in SCEEENEEERY for you, theeen!!! SS:Oh? BT: sureee!!! from the guideee leeerajeee sent me it seeems you can manipulateee theee eeenvironmeeent of your clieeent playeeer. BT: and i think you'll eeeveeentually beee ableee to VISIT theeeseee other eeenvionmeeents as theee gameee goeees on!!! SS: Interesting. BT: yeeeah. hopeeefully it'll makeee moreee seeenseee wheeen it comeees timeee to actually play theee gameee, BT: but i gueeess until theeen i'll seee you around!!! brutalTrifecta [BT] ceased trolling StalkerSahagin [SS] She doesn't seem that bad... Though what did she mean by you being royal? You're just yourself... You wonder a little more about it before a familior scent reaches your nose. Blood? >Investigate. You swim out after making sure your SWIMMING CLAWS were equipped, and are surprised to see your lusus being attacked by a squid! >STRIFE! You go in after the squid, aiming for it's vulnerable eye. The tentacled beast had the shark in it's 12-armed grasp, and your lusus's thrashing suggested that it couldn't shake the monster off, and that it was in severe pain. Grabbing the squid's large head, claw's digging into it's soft skin, you make your way down it's body quickly, as it started to let it go, reaching for you. Taking a pounce of faith, you leap your body forward, and stab deep into the beast's eye, making it spasm in pain. With a fast spin, it throws you off then shoots out a rather unplesent liquid into the water, preventing much persuit from you. >Examine lusus. It's in bad shape, it's gills were ripped apart on one side because of the tentacled beast's beak, and it's bleeding badly. It's not swimming, and where it was grabbed, a series of small iris-colored rings can be seen. >Do what you must. You sigh, and put it out of it's misery. You stab deep into the wound, aimed at the lusus's heart, killing it quickly. You then start to slash up the body and store it in your Captalouge deck. No sense in letting good meat go to waste. Besides, if something happoned to you, your lusus would've made a meal of your corpse anyway. > Find someone else who's lusus is alive! __________________ "Only the fool wishes to go into battle to beat someone for the satisfaction of beating someone." -A Thousand Sons Rules. Read them, know them, love them.

01-04-2011, 05:05 PM	#5
Menarker OMG! WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW? Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 3,802	> Install SGRUB Sharl jumpstarts the INSTALLATION FILE sent to him prior. It is now installing in the background. Your hivetop works pretty well, so it is progressing nicely if you say so yourself. Oh? Your Trollian window is flashing. > Check for new messages. Convo with Gorma Sharl clasp his prized helmet with both hands and push down as if making it even more snug than ever! No way is he parting with this wonderful object! > Do quick inventory check of Warehive! Sharl stands proudly from his lofty 2nd floor walkway with his hands clenched at his hips, mentally reviewing all the items roughly organized on the floor and on top of wooden pallets and steel shelves! The items you have promised to deliver are nicely set near one of the wide pulley doors. But there is one section near the center of the warehive that would make a jaded troll of 30 cycles weep! > Admire your PRISTINE PYRAMID OF PLACEBO TIGERSNAKE OIL! IT IS MAJESTIC! IT IS TALL! IT IS GOING TO MAKE SHARL A TON OF BOONBUCKS!!! Stacked with the most precise of care, each glass bottles of light brown liquid the size of a TAB DRINK CAN tower above almost reaching the second floor! It took several hours of painstaking precision... but it is now complete! Soon, you'll enter the market with this wonderous good! Cures all ills! Attract the opposite gender! And repels tigers! AND SNAKES! It is made out of minced tiger snake, crushed asprin and bone-bulge excrement! BANG >WHAT THE HELL IS THAT NOISE? Peering from the walkway above, one can see a white apeish lusus tinted gray standing on the floor. UGGH GUUUUUHHHUUGH EH GITTTT! UGH UGH UGH! DREK DREK UUUUU UoooGAHH UoooGAHHH! It motions with vigorous and agressive gestures, especially pointing to its own greedy hands! "Oh, come ON! Not now Ayres! I don't have the goods on me right now! I got several deliveries to deal with! I'll give you your rent when I get it from them!" It is unclear if it understood you. But one thing is clear. Sharl's face was absolutely livid as the lusus starts repossessing the nearest warehive goods it decided to confisicate! "STOP THAT! I GOT A CLIENT POTENTIALLY INTERESTED IN THAT!" It paid no mind as it suddenly decided to take one bottle of your TIGERSNAKE OIL, possibly reasoning you wouldn't miss one. > OH JEGUS! SAVE YOUR -! It was a disaster beyond any reckoning. Displaying the mental intellect of a mere grub, the lusus yanked out the bottom most corner of the entire pyramid before the troll could respond. Lacking one of the cruical keystones, the entire mountainous structure of FRAGILE GLASS BOTTLES cascaded onto the ape like a thunderous avalanche, shattering in a rain of broken glass and pee against each other and its large body! Within seconds, the floor was practically soaking in piss which was fortunately draining away in the DRAINAGE GRATES located strategically for the express purpose for the bi-cycle warehive cleaning sweep! But the damage is done. Hundreds of bottles lay shattered on the floor, with only a few dozens on the opposite corners left unscathed. > THROW DOWN YOUR HAT IN DISGUST! It's a BUCKET! However, Sharl obliges as he wrenches the headwear and slams it against the metal walkway with a thunderous boom. Then he picks it up again by the handle, carrying it with him as his eyes are wide open with shock and trembling hands. > Mourn "WRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYY!!!!!???? What did I ever do to deserve this fate! ALL THAT EFFORT AND MATERIALS! GONE IN INSTANT! THIS IS GOING TO TAKE FOREVER TO CLEAN UP!" > I meant mourn your lusus. Lusus? "OHHHHHHHH! YES! HE! IS! GONE!!!! HUZZZZZAH! NO MORE PAYING STUUUPID RANDOMLY TIMED RENT! I'M FREEEEEEEEE" > ...Nevermind. Guess you should clean up this mess. WITH GUSTO! Sharl rush toward the warehive crane with a hop in his step as the pincers are lowered and clench powerfully against the soaked and glass riddled ape and pulled the limp mass up in the air, as the device smoothly sails toward the dumpster... CRA-BOOMM-UHUHUHUHDDERRRRRR > What the hell was that!? The warehive shudders and rocks hard from the tremors of an unknown force! The crane dropped the stupid ape as it slipped from its grip onto a conveyer belt. Sharl could do nothing but watch as its body got carried toward a small opening with a mess of operating gears which got jammed with the foreign object. Pipes starts whistling, one or two even bursting, spewing out hot geysers of steam. "HOLY SHIT! WHAT A MESS THAT RETARD MAKES EVEN AFTER DEATH!!!" Sharl rushed to his power breaker and pulled down the switch, shutting down the power for the main warehive until later... hopefully. Gawd... need a break. > Check on your game! Might as well. Sharl's expression was a complex twist of emotions and a flenched fist. He smiled ever so faintly when he saw the game had finished installing. > Someone is contacting you! Check it out! Convo with Tergum Message to melancholicChumly [MC] > Be someone else __________________ THE BIO OF RENNY TRESSERHORN THE BIOs OF POKEMON UMBRAL! Last edited by Menarker; 01-04-2011 at 06:55 PM.

01-09-2011, 10:36 AM	#7
Geminex SOM3WH3R3 Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 4,606	> Be past Scalis You regret that you are now PAST SCALIS In a rare display of sociability, you recently invited a FRIEND to your LIBRARCHIVARY, so that he may admire the great accumulation of knowlege that is your hive. You are also determined to get him into reading things other than picture books, and this was a great opportunity to do so. As such, you left him in READING HALL 3, warning him not to touch anything, and dashed off to find the longest and most incomprehensible books in your collection! It is your firm belief that, exposed to this kind of literature, he will not be able to resist, and finally leave those childish comics behind. You grunt as you pull the 2000-page volume "PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ONE-DIMENSIONAL LOVE AND THE NATURE OF SOCIETY AND GENDER ROLES AND A VARIETY OF OTHER THEMES EXPLORED IN THE COURSE OF AN EXTENSIVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO EXTREMELY BLAND CHARACTERS" from a top shelf and grin to yourself. This'll get him. > Return to waiting friend You decide that you have sufficient literature for your purposes, and decide to get back to the reading room. You doubt he could commit any serious vandalism in the time you were gone, (he's not a complete child, after all), but why take a risk? > Listen! Do you smell something? As you hurry back along the shelves, your nose detects a strange, terrible, piercing odor, and you become instantly alert. Something... is wrong. You carefully put down the stack of books you're carrying and, keeping close to the shelves, your eyes flicking from shadow to shadow, you continue on your way. You don't know what this could be, you've never smelled this before in here... though you could swear it smells like... naaah. Probably an anomaly of some sort. You'll take care of it. But as you approach the reading room, you realize the smell is getting stronger, and you worry. If it had manifested in there, and caught your friend by surprise... You dread to think about it. Your path takes you back to the reading room, and your suspicions are confirmed. You brace yourself for gore and insanity, ready your combat tomes and leap into the room, rolling and fluidly coming to your feet, scanning the room for threats. But there seem to be no threats, or friends, in here. An empty room, shelves of books, reading tables and, in the center of the room, a sad, forlorn pile next to a desk, emitting the stench you've been following... Wait. That's no anomaly. That's a book.. That... He... Why would... That little... ... pandorasArchivist [PA] started pestering spectacularHellion [SH] PA: ZEEEEEEBREEEEEEEK >Past Zebrek: Get the hell outta dodge. You can't get the hell outta dodge because you don't know where the exit to this dumb LIBRARCHIVARY is! Who the hell designs these things with impossible goddamn architecture anyway? >Past Zebrek: Get trolled by Scalis. You HUSKTOP is informing you that you are getting trolled. You'll have to retrieve it from your sylladex if you want to respond, though. >Past Zebrek: Retrieve husktop. You can't do that! >Well why the hell not? Because in order to retrieve things from your sylladex you need to draw them with your PICTIONARY MODUS! >Why didn't you just say so? You're busy running, remember? >Whatever, just draw the husktop will you? You attempt to draw your husktop. Unfortunately your shitty drawing skills are not at all improved by the fact that you're running. >======> You get a ghost image of gay musclebeast porn. Great. > Stop ogling image and be the angry troll You continue to regret that you are now Scalis > Examine disaster A desolate wind, seeming coming from the depths of your hive, begins to blow through the hall. Just a book, you try to tell yourself. Just paper and ink. You are reasonable, after all. You have millions of them, more. Just... a book. But these thoughts seem flimsy and fragile, and as the wind swells around you, you lose your grip on them, and they fade awayaway. And you don't mind. Because this wasn't just a book, it was your book. Your work. And what happened here... was worse than mere destruction. It was blasphemy. Still, you might have left it at that. Ejected the intruder, barred him from returning. But an errant gust sends a torn scrap of parchment tumbling across the room. One of the last remains of "The life and times of troll Jegus" comes to rest at your feet, half a sentence still visible. "us spake Jegus: 'For we must guard against the evils of the mind, lest they become the evils of our world.' And then the crowd t" Your gaze lands upon the sentence, you remember writing it. Remember what it means. And as you read it, the ever-present rustling of paper suddenly grows in volume, as if driven by the bleak wind swirling around you, crescendoing into something that sounds a lot more... alive than paper has any right to sound. Less like rustling and more like... applause. And as you feel goosebumps running down your back at the eerie noise, you realize that evils of the mind must indeed be fought. And you realize that an anomaly can take many, many forms. Including this kind of... corruption. And if there's one thing you do well, it's stamping out anomalies. The other is uninentionally running into stacks of gay pornography, but as you heft your combat tome and set off in pursuit of your former friend, you hope that won't come into play. And as you run through the dark ailes, along shelves untouched for eons, applause still ringing in your ears, wind at your back, rage and a terrible purpose in your heart, you ask yourself. What would Jegus do? pandorasArchivist [PA] started pestering spectacularHellion [SH]: PA: zebrek PA: you PA: will pay > Go back to the Anomaly Who? > The Blasphemist Who? > Be Past Zebrek Oh, him >Past Zebrek: Stop running and draw husktop. You stop running and are able to draw a slightly less shitty rendition of your husktop. >======> Looks like your PICTIONARY MODUS bought it! You retrieve your husktop. >Past Zebrek: Read trollog. It appears Scalis talked talked to you. Pay? He didn't say anything about a cost for admission! This is a boring place anyway! Why would they charge you? >Reply. SH: dude you didnt tell me i had to pay for anything when you let me in why >Keep running. You keep running. >======> You run right into something! >======> You appear to have run into some contraption of sorts. You weren't really looking at where you were going, but this place looks like some mad scientists' lab. You wonder why Scalis would have a place like this. >Who cares? SHINY THINGS! You cannot take commands right now because you are too busy playing with the shiny things! You poke a shiny thing and it proceeds to fall down to the floor and break into pieces. >Play some more. Yay! > Get flashback overdose and return later Last edited by Geminex; 01-09-2011 at 10:52 AM.

01-09-2011, 07:37 PM	#8
mauve So Dreamy Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Someplace magical Posts: 6,863	> Get flashback overdose and return later You are treated for flashback overdose once the paramedics arrive. Once your vitals are stable again, you get a strict talking-to about the dangers of flashback useage and they leave. You'll get the bill in the mail. > Oh... kaaaaay. Be someone else. You are now GORRMA. You are sitting on the floor in one of the SUBTERRANEAN STORAGE ROOMS in the lower levels of you HIVE. Your HUSKTOP is in front of you, and you are TYPING. > Troll someone. You fail to TROLL SOMEONE. You just finished trolling a bunch of people a few minutes ago, don't you remember? You had jumped into TEAM FORTRESS' SUPER SECRET MEMO to discuss the upcoming game. It sure sounds exciting. But then you got bored and stopped responding. That was a while ago. Now you're just typing out some new RECIPES you want to try. ====> Suddenly, you hear a NOISE. It came from one of the blocks on an upper floor. Hm. That's odd. Wonder what it could have been? > Hear noise again. ====> > Go investigate. ====> > Open door. > Be someone else for a while. __________________ Yoo Hoo!

01-05-2011, 07:12 PM	#6
Geminex SOM3WH3R3 Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 4,606	> Be someone else You are now... someone else! You wonder who? It is dark, and your armored carapace clanks softly as you make your way towards a light shining ahead of you. Time to find out where you are. And who you are. > Emerge It appears that you are Kcir Yeltsa, the imperial drone! You blink in the light of the moon as you emerge from the network of tunnels. It's been a while since you smelled the night air. A while indeed. Your journey through the tunnels was not a pleasant one. Dead end upon dead end, getting lost, backtracking. An maze, and an unsolvable one at that. Unsolvable because the only exit, as you are determining, leads back out of the mountain. It was a lonely journey, through the tunnels and caves. No company, no sound. Just the dust, the rock, the mountain, the light of your torch... and the rage. Oh, the rage. Rage for being injured and defiend. Rage at being lead down here. Rage at being tricked into that maze of tunnels. It is an intense rage. Powerful. Merciless. Barely controllable. This rage could move mountains. You smile grimly at the throught, because you know you could. You are an imperial drone, albeit one in training. You do not rest. You do not sleep. You could tear this pile of rock down, given enough time. You've got the strength, you've certainly got the motivation. But you think... you think it might be more time-efficient to climb it instead. You feel an intense jolt of affection for your SCALING SPIKES as you summon them from your Sylladex. > Yeltsa: Ascend. You begin to climb towards the object of your hatred. He will regret this.

01-14-2011, 01:25 AM	#10
The SSB Intern We'll have to do this the hard way. Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Behind it all. Posts: 1,009	> SEGUE Surprise! You're Vintag once more! ARGH. The speedy one is not answering you. How are you going to perform your mockery of death without your pies!? This is just completely unpr- oh hey, Capiti's trolling you. > Have your mind blown. You have this conversation(?) with Tergum. Oh shoot, the world's at its end and you have to fight for your survival. This is just your luck. > Throw bowler hat down in disgust. If you can't physically abuse your accessories whenever you get in a lather, what good are they? Just need to get this... conk suck... hat...! For crying out loud! The thing's stuck on your horns. Screw it, you'll express your rage later. > Go converse with that spastic thing again. His name is Vicki. And he can't really talk, it's a parlor trick for scamming unsuspecting rubes. Also, where the hell is he? You pace back and forth in front of the kitchen's entrance, his last known location. Your eyes dart in all directions, the taste of blood seeping from your lips. You're biting too hard. You try to ease up. Vicki doesn't wander off on his own. ...Well, okay, yeah sometimes when you're out on the town something catches his eye and you lose track of him. But he keeps himself out of trouble, right?! Except for that one time in the park- *BOOM* > Freak the fuck out. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!! A flash of brilliant crimson cuts through the penthive, followed by a deep, baritone shuddering. You nearly jump out of your shoes from the shock and delicately land on a wooden cylindrical flattening device. It gives out under you and you land on your face in the most unpleasant of manners. Why do you have one of these. You don't know how to bake. From your crumpled vantage point, you can see your lusus by the windowsill, illumined by the flashes outside. You scamper to your feet and sprint over to him as fast as your legs can take you. Vicki is looking out onto the city below. You address him accusingly. He doesn't respond. You repeat, louder. His gaze doesn't leave the city. You growl in frustration. Your dreams have been crushed, an obnoxious twerp became your boss, and you realized how much of a flighty idiot you've been for hording all this useless crap. You are not about to take insubordination from an overgrown fluffy-tailed rat. You scream at him and ready your hand for some good ol' rage expression. ...You stop. He's shivering, practically quaking, all over his body. You look up to see his eyes dilated and filled with tears. You lower your hand into his paw. He grips tightly. Minutes pass, and he calms. The city is crumbling beneath an ocean of flame. To the left, the theater stands gaudily amidst countless other buildings. You knew the manager and he gave the two of you a gig when you were still starting out. The face of the building was decorated with hundreds of light-bulbs that shone on the marquee and the bar hopping youngsters swarming the sidewalk. The bulbs popped one by one from the heat, until the sign finally crashed down. Off to the right, the park was still intact, but the waves of light encroached on it. A jittery mass of black dots stood in the center. From your window, they looked like insects, tiny creatures being tormented by a giant magnifying glass and some, unseen sick-minded troll. You look up and see the night striped with red. It's as if the Alternian sky was some red-blooded mutant hobo who had just been eviscerated by the rusty box cutter of a discontented meter maid. You briefly pause to wonder how that simile came to be in your mind. This is what Tergum was talking about. > It's time to go. Finally, you look back to Vicki. He's no longer in shock, just slumping. You inform him that due to the impending apocalypse, all rehearsals and performances are canceled until further notice. The two of you will be going on a trip with some friends. He inhales deeply and bends over, reaching down his side. As he comes back up, you notice the top hat is in his gloves. He exhales, places it on his head, and looks over at you, smiling. You laugh, despite everything. >...Move it along. Preparations need preparing, so you begin to race to the kitchen for supplies. A thought crosses your mind, and you slide to a stop, and turn back to Vicki. You take the Dead Pan out of your sylladex, ejecting a rotten egg into the air in the process. It lands on your hat. Gogdamn modus. You hand the skillet to your lusus and instruct him to stay put and hit anything that appears over the head. Be careful with it, though. This pan was made from the remains of a very important folk hero. Vicki winces. > Get going already! OK! GEEZ! You head off, your first stop the laundry block, to get this putrid head covering a wash. > Lusus: reflect. You are now Vicki. Vintag seems like she has a strong handle on the situation, and from what she says, there will be survivors. And yet, a feeling of dread is draped over you. The cooking instrument dangles uselessly at your side. Dead weight. Hehe, you'll have to remember that. You bring it up to your face and examine it in muted awe. Could you really hit something with this? Could you take a life to save your own? ...Or maybe hers? Your thoughts turn to her. So strong. Practically raised herself. Now, she takes charge and even looks out for you. She'll get through this with ease. You, on the other paw, were never meant for any of this. You just follow orders and maybe do a few stupid dances. ...Maybe... You hold the pan at arm's length. A feeling seems to pulsate from it, like an inviting warmth from a fireplace, or the familiar tingle of a pie flung in your face. Frenzied thoughts race through your mind. Wouldn't you just be slowing her down? ... > Reader: Abscond. __________________ You know who never sleeps? My gun.