Girlfriend troubles

swordmaster · 10-06-2004, 09:03 PM

Ok, heres the problem: My girlfriend and I have been going out since before school ended and up until now, things have been great. But I was finding it hard to think up things to talk about on the phone. This led to long silences, you know, the aqward ones. Anywhoo, this has gotten so bad that she is about to dump me, and she would have if she wasnt so shy about it. So my plea is, what should i say to her to get her not to dump me and how do I find things to say to her. Oh, and there is another guy that she sorta likes and after she dumps me, she will go out with him, which is another reason why she wants to dump me (but she probably likes him because he CAN talk on the phone). Please help me, your my only hope.

10-06-2004, 09:07 PM

If she's going to dump you because you have trouble talking on the phone, stop talking on the phone! Talk to her in person. If you're bad at that too... well... take some lessons at night. And pray.

Aeria · 10-06-2004, 09:10 PM

First of all, if she wants to dump you but is too shy, you don't want to try to make her NOT dump you. It'll just get worse with time, and in that time you'll miss out on many opportunities if you just let the relationship drag on. Oh, and I severely doubt that it is your ability to talk on the phone that would make her interested / disinterested. Secondly, in the rules, isn't it stated that you aren't supposed to gripe about such personal problems? Though I'm not really sure...

Lycanthrope · 10-06-2004, 09:11 PM

Not to be callous, but if you're running out of things to talk about, you're probably not meant for eachother. I understand that you don't want it to be over, but it may be time to move on. If you keep on looking, you'll eventually find someone you can work with and where when you run out of things to say, you won't need to talk any more.

Think of it this way: you've gotten a girlfriend before, you can do it again. Which is more than I can say. Better to have loved and lost...

I know this isn't the advice you wanted, but its all I have to offer.

shiney · 10-06-2004, 09:15 PM

On the flip side, Nikki and I have run through low spots before. The thing is to not give up and assume it is the end or it's a horrible sign. Maybe you guys are just running out of things to talk about and need to do more stuff together to respark conversations.

On the other hand if she's got the hots for some other guy and doesn't mind hurting you then she isn't worth the attention.

Viktor Von Russia · 10-06-2004, 11:14 PM

Well, communicating strictly through phone calls is what destroys long-distance relationships. My advice is to get out there and see her. As Shiney said, if you go out and do something, you'll have more to talk about. If this is the first lapse in your relationship, chances are, it's not unsalvageable however, remember relationship needs work on the part of both people. If she already has her sights set on another guy, it could be that she's not trying as hard as she should. In which case, again, as Shiney said, she's not worth the time.

Robot Jesus · 10-06-2004, 11:49 PM

Is she interested in the news, politics, or philosophy?

If she is focus on that.

Its vary difficult to run out of things to say on those topics.
But then again maybe there’s a reason I don’t have a girlfriend.

adamark · 10-07-2004, 10:09 AM

Hahahaha great advice on here...
It's difficult to be a great conversationalist but there are always new topics to talk about. If you are really hard up for ideas steal some of the discussion ideas from this forum..

Funka Genocide · 10-07-2004, 10:28 AM

I had the same problem... in fifth grade. I'm thinking your not too far removed from that age bracket at the moment, correct me if I'm wrong please.

My problem was simply the newness of the situation, and the fact that "Talking on the phone" was a grandiose ritual. I found myself staring inot the speaker of my phone and shaking nervously between intermittent conversation. The point is, you need to be more comfortable withbeing in a "relationship" which at your age might go as far as, well I don't know about kids these days...

I n any case, it all boils down to practive, and the fact that most people consider romance to be a game with winners and losers, even into adulthood. Its good to learn these things when your young, that way you can be jaded and cynical when you grow up.

I'm sorry, I'm a real jerk sometimes, I didn't mean to be.

Just give her an easy way out and find someone who you can talk to as a friend, not just a "girlfriend" and you'll be well on your way to dating success!

Dark Black · 10-07-2004, 11:33 AM

You don't seem to have any problems talking on message boards. Why don't you communicate through emails!?

*Gets dirty looks from everybody else*

Ok! Fine! But you can't fault it's logic!

10-06-2004, 09:10 PM	#3
Aeria Light Warrior Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Canadia Posts: 600	First of all, if she wants to dump you but is too shy, you don't want to try to make her NOT dump you. It'll just get worse with time, and in that time you'll miss out on many opportunities if you just let the relationship drag on. Oh, and I severely doubt that it is your ability to talk on the phone that would make her interested / disinterested. Secondly, in the rules, isn't it stated that you aren't supposed to gripe about such personal problems? Though I'm not really sure... __________________ ~ }\|{ ~ The Magic Butterfly

10-06-2004, 09:11 PM	#4
Lycanthrope Deus Lupus Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The City of Angels Posts: 2,925	Not to be callous, but if you're running out of things to talk about, you're probably not meant for eachother. I understand that you don't want it to be over, but it may be time to move on. If you keep on looking, you'll eventually find someone you can work with and where when you run out of things to say, you won't need to talk any more. Think of it this way: you've gotten a girlfriend before, you can do it again. Which is more than I can say. Better to have loved and lost... I know this isn't the advice you wanted, but its all I have to offer. __________________ "With these seven easy steps, you, too, can be the authoritarian despot of your own principality. Machiavelli, your road to happiness" "I shoot Flying Monkies!" "Christmas had it coming its what it gets for taking over thanksgiving and threatening halloween with its weapons of mass consumerism" "Death to All Fanatics!" Official RP Action God Lycanthropic Poem "FOR YOU THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE." -Death Krylo and BMG are apparently my bitches.

10-06-2004, 09:15 PM	#5
shiney Derrrrrrrrrrrrrp. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The land of fartz and buttz Posts: 8,266	On the flip side, Nikki and I have run through low spots before. The thing is to not give up and assume it is the end or it's a horrible sign. Maybe you guys are just running out of things to talk about and need to do more stuff together to respark conversations. On the other hand if she's got the hots for some other guy and doesn't mind hurting you then she isn't worth the attention. __________________ boop

10-06-2004, 11:14 PM	#6
Viktor Von Russia YOU'VE EATEN POO, HAVE YOU?! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Motherland Posts: 1,131	Well, communicating strictly through phone calls is what destroys long-distance relationships. My advice is to get out there and see her. As Shiney said, if you go out and do something, you'll have more to talk about. If this is the first lapse in your relationship, chances are, it's not unsalvageable however, remember relationship needs work on the part of both people. If she already has her sights set on another guy, it could be that she's not trying as hard as she should. In which case, again, as Shiney said, she's not worth the time. __________________ Defeat Yanda. "God does not give to a cow that butts." Russian Saying Why don't people check for invisi-text?

10-06-2004, 11:49 PM	#7
Robot Jesus Libertarian Socialist Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 377	Is she interested in the news, politics, or philosophy? If she is focus on that. Its vary difficult to run out of things to say on those topics. But then again maybe there’s a reason I don’t have a girlfriend. __________________ We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further. ---Richard Dawkins there was only one true Christian, and he died on the cross. ---Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche These are rumors spread by the liberal, elite media. Much like civil rights and Kepler's Laws of Planetary Motion.

10-06-2004, 09:07 PM	#2
Cyclone231 Guest Posts: n/a	If she's going to dump you because you have trouble talking on the phone, stop talking on the phone! Talk to her in person. If you're bad at that too... well... take some lessons at night. And pray.

10-07-2004, 10:28 AM	#9
Funka Genocide Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 4,566	I had the same problem... in fifth grade. I'm thinking your not too far removed from that age bracket at the moment, correct me if I'm wrong please. My problem was simply the newness of the situation, and the fact that "Talking on the phone" was a grandiose ritual. I found myself staring inot the speaker of my phone and shaking nervously between intermittent conversation. The point is, you need to be more comfortable withbeing in a "relationship" which at your age might go as far as, well I don't know about kids these days... I n any case, it all boils down to practive, and the fact that most people consider romance to be a game with winners and losers, even into adulthood. Its good to learn these things when your young, that way you can be jaded and cynical when you grow up. I'm sorry, I'm a real jerk sometimes, I didn't mean to be. Just give her an easy way out and find someone who you can talk to as a friend, not just a "girlfriend" and you'll be well on your way to dating success!

10-07-2004, 11:33 AM	#10
Dark Black Even eviller than black! Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 114	You don't seem to have any problems talking on message boards. Why don't you communicate through emails!? Gets dirty looks from everybody else Ok! Fine! But you can't fault it's logic!