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Unread 10-28-2004, 02:11 AM   #381
Funka Genocide
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Default

I'm destined to lose
but spectacularly
all around me is gray
and blackness between

the absence of light
such unmarred beauty
I know there is good
for it needs no guidance

through worlds without sight
and feeling just love
the heart will alight
'pon a moment of trust

what lost when gained
is a sense of self worth?
no sentence abstains
from trying to say

"I speak from my heart, and the words lack in meaning, the logic expounds on a sentience so fleeting. I will never win, for I have no desire. I can never sin. Love is all I have."


-that was a bit off the wall, I think. I was reading through everyone elses recent posts, and then I just started writing with those on my mind, this is what popped out.

p.s.: Welcome to the forums Sanbai Shi and RMS oceanic, this is the first time I've seen you guys post. I hope you have a great time. I'll go back to being anti social again.
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Unread 10-29-2004, 02:06 AM   #382
Aeria
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This poem is called "The Apology"... I hope you can feel its emotion, as I do... Sorry it's a little long...

The road ahead is long and hard, and I am now alone,
So farewell now to days before, and sins I can't atone.
Mayhaps hence I shall look back upon these dreary days,
As now I look on days long gone, with soft and teary gaze.

But now my will and knees feel weak, I stumble to the ground,
I falter here, where once I stood, now sad and wretched mound.
I once could stand and once could fight against the unjust foe,
But now I do submit my will, you've won and now I'll go...

When I lost it I know not, the same for where I'll find,
That part of me that I have lost, I've lost part of my mind...
I know just that where I now stand, where I am right now,
Marks the place from where I'll start anew but know not how.

All I ask before I go, of you whom I have hurt,
Of you for which I've cried such tears, and now lie in the dirt,
Is that you help my first steps here, it is so hard to walk,
My feet are sore, my mouth is parched, it's hard for me to talk.

What time that seems so long ago, began this horrid act,
That causes me and you such pain, and has my honor cracked?
Once upon a time there was a shield protecting you,
Innocence by name it took, it blanketed me too.

But I was witness as you were, as one by one we lost,
That which gave us shelter here, a line we now had crossed.
I was last to lose it though, but it turned out far the worse,
My hands now seem deep stained with blood, my soul now feels cursed.

I praised myself, and highly too, for being who I was,
But now I know that I knew not, and many were me flaws.
I'm sorry to those who I left behind, and I'm sorry to you too,
Whom I on purpose left behind, though I think those very few.

Know this though, I say these words, perhaps they'll bring you peace,
I have lost that part of me, that made me such a beast.
But what event, be great or small, that marked the start of this?
The answer's lost in flows of time, and shrouded in a mist.

I see there was no single thing for which I am to blame,
There was a chain of circumstance that ruined my fine name.
Each time I was given choice, I chose a crooked way,
I meant to help but hurt instead, and left myself to pay.

As I chose, my despair grew, till finally I stood,
To see myself for the first time, and see there was no good.
In every way I had failed, my heart as black as coal,
A thief of darkness and the night, stealing my own soul.

Be at peace, whom I called friend, I shall trouble you no more,
No more shall I plague your life, you're free now you can soar.
Know this though, that when I said to you I pledge my heart,
The truth I told, I meant that more than can be said in art.

Mother, Father, Brother dear, Sister whom I trust,
The times we had were full of lies, my words meant less than dust.
I can't believe I could trust so much, then betray so readily,
Worry not for now I'm gone, and you are rid of me.

Baby child, there are no words, perhaps some other time,
You'll hear the tale of all my deeds, of all my heinous crimes.
I pray you try to understand, I tried my very best,
But that was not enough at all, I still failed life's great test.

To the rest of you, my time grows short, I wish I had much more,
Then I'd say a million things, before going through this door.
You all have meant so much to me, but I'm sure you want me gone,
It is strange to think that I once believed in something so very wrong...

I trusted you but could not keep trust, I'm going now, goodbye!
I do not know what future holds for me except to die.
For you I know, forever more I shall be gone at last,
Your lives are purged, the evil gone that plagued you in the past.

So filled with shame, I take first steps into this awful night,
The wind roars loud, wolves howl sad, thunder instills fright.
It rolls and booms, like angry drums, giving rythm to my stride,
I know not how much longer here I can myself abide.

I sought myself, to prove my worth, wished to be the best,
But I was not a hero born, and was worse than all the rest.
The road ahead is long and hard, and I am now alone,
So farewell now to days before, and sins I can't atone.
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Unread 10-29-2004, 04:02 AM   #383
Funka Genocide
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Default worthless just like you

selfish lies which lead the mind
to comforts not so fine
desire to be left behind
and preach atop a grave

from beyond, there is no word
or feeling to convey
only 'membrance, what's occured
and nothing, simply nothing

hurt and sorry, bled so dry
but living still, and so go on
searched for meaning with the eye
and minds meant just for thought

so give up, you wretched thing
and steal your better days
away from us, so unbending
and worthless just like you

-ewww, its all angsty. I think I got some on my shoe. (back to the depths of hell with you goth-boy-me!)
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Unread 10-29-2004, 08:46 PM   #384
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Looking in the mirror, I see my own reflection
Pretty to be sure, with perfect complexion
But they don't see what is inside of me
The black spots I would let no one see
And the mirror, showing her facade so cruel
She felt false, tawdry, a tarnished jewel
Enraged she shatters the mirror, for telling such lies
And so she doesn't see the pain in her eyes
The mirror, now broken, falls to the floor
Not wanting to see her reflection evermore
She cries, and she finally stops hiding
The black horse of anger in her riding
And all of her fury, all of her anger
Was directed to one target, namely at her
Self loathing, feelings that sink so deep
Bitterness upon her soul that seeps
She sits in the room with no escape
And still voices her petty and small complaint
Why, why, why have I turned out this way?
What path of light have I managed to stray?
She was not what they have envisioned
Making her seethe with everlasting confusion
The tragedies mount, the barrier breaks
And all of her secrets are up for takes
Her true form, the one that they didn't know
Her true self, locked inside her down below
She hates it, for that despicable thing is her
The one that people will now know for sure
Talking, balking, she tries to bury it up
Crying, sulking, she finally gives up
Lets herself out for all to see and fear
The one that she hates the most...is here.

Another one.

I see her now, smiling, laughing
Unaware of all that is happening
Pitiful little girl, she doesn't get it
Or maybe she is just afraid to admit it
I wanted her to be knowing, bleeding
To make her see the pain I was feeling
And yet she is lucky, she was unscathed
Not like me, at the end of being chased
And I lost that one last shimmering light
I miss her each and every night
And I hear the other one complaining
I cannot believe a word that she is saying
She was lucky! She got away!
And this is how she repays?
What a fool, what a bitch
Her life goes on without a hitch
And she dares to call herself sad
I heard her voice and get very mad
Her heartache? What pain does she feel?
She was never booted, never got the heel!
She 'realizes' now, her stupid mistakes
And our 'friendship' she tries to remake
How dare she call herself my friend!
She only saved herself in the end!
She cannot possibly be all that she says
And I will not listen to the lies again
Never to talk to her again, never to hold my hand...
And she claims that she could possibly understand!
A poison that she is and that all I see
It will never be the same for her and me.

Last edited by BlackMageGirl!; 12-15-2004 at 02:04 PM.
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Unread 10-30-2004, 01:11 AM   #385
RaiRai
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My hands are shaking, the nerves anxious within
I feel my fingertips like a thousand raindrops hit them
or perhaps tear drops, as the tears keep on falling
My body numb and mind sent in a thousand directions
a million peices all trying to mend back into one
but I know it isn't possible, not without his hand to guide me
not without his love to heal me and mine to try and heal him
So I'll withgo the physical hardships and be strong
knowing that there is a glimmer of hope
that this will fade beneath us like another bad dream
and we can mend our future on the dreams of the past.
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Unread 10-30-2004, 03:20 AM   #386
Cloud Strife
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A poem inspiried by actual events. It's untitled, but enjoy.

She's heard this story once before,
But still she listens to his lore.
His story done, she comforts him.
She lets him know that it's not so grim.

Feeling better, he turns to go.
She once again has softened the blow.
Her work is done, now she can dream
But the boy's sad story is a recurring theme.

She is woken again, by a girl this time.
It seems that she was the next one in line.
She listened intently, though she was tired,
It's for this quality that she is admired.

She listens to all their stories quite well,
And even though her life's been hell,
When someone comes, it's their troubles first,
Her problems unnoticed, to her theirs were worse.

Then one day came the feelings of dread,
She offered her help; they went over her head.
All the problems came back, stacked up with her own.
She was feeling depressed, angered, bemoaned.

That's when I talked to her, realized her hate.
The problems overwhelmed her, were almost too great.
This time, this session, it was all about her.
All of her anger was being deferred.

She ranted on and on, how she hated it so!
I listened intently, watched her friend turn to foe.
When she was done, she wanted to leave.
What she had said, I just couldn't believe.

I told her to wait, that she should not go,
I felt all her anger, saw her eyes glow.
I reached deep within me, and out came a thought,
"Listen to this, please, don't be so distraught."

I closed my eyes then and let the poetry flow.
I told her in rhyme what she needed to know.
She stopped me halfway, but to my delight,
The words did their work, helped in ending her plight.

We stayed there together for a few minutes more,
Both glad she was better, with no need to be sore.
She had to leave then, but with a hug and a kiss,
She let me know that there was no more amiss.
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Last edited by Cloud Strife; 11-06-2004 at 05:54 AM.
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Unread 10-30-2004, 12:03 PM   #387
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This one I guess should be called "Nature's Miracles"

Is rain the tears of mighty angels?
If so then oh the shame!
For if celestial seraphs have ought to cry,
Then surely we cry in vain.

Is sunlight face of smiling god,
Happily watching o'er us?
If so then god cares little or none,
For the sun does little for us.

When nighttime comes, do creatures visit,
Is this their time of power,
If so then they are as strong as day,
For they have an equal hour.

Is every miracle that nature holds,
Merely old men's dreams?
If so then is this life we live
Just simply as it seems?
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Unread 10-31-2004, 05:49 AM   #388
Osterbaum
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Loner

I was lost, never to be found
I wondered through life, alone
I raelly wasn't born, I just fell out
I have no one, and no place to call home

I strugle alone, I really do try
I can make it through life like this
I will make it through life, just to prove that you all lie!
You say I'm a failure, but that's where you make a miss

I will continue not to receive, but still I will give
Alone though I might be, I will still live
I am a loner, and I need nobody else but me...

For the land I love

I stand on top of these walls
In top of this castle
I will defend it, and the glory of it's halls
I will be cold minded and not hastle

I will defend it, with all I've got
Because it is everything to me, representing all that I miss
The last defense before the land I love
The last defense, the last hope and my last wish...

I wish we win, but even if not...
I will defend it with all I've got
For my hope, my goal
Is to die for this land I love
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Last edited by Osterbaum; 10-31-2004 at 05:53 AM.
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Unread 10-31-2004, 03:29 PM   #389
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"Pensive"

I sit here and I think
Think about what has passed
My life a book, pictures in words
I flip through the pages and remember

I linger through the good times
I skim through the hard times
I stare and wonder sometimes
How I managed to be here now

For in living I have done many things
And all the choices that I had to make
Some good, some bad, some pending
I often ponder this and sigh

For, if I have gone through life
And I am here now
There must be something
That I am doing right

And once again, my mind turns to
The things that I have
Things that I never knew existed
All of the happy things I possess

I have a roof over my head
Food that I can eat
Clothes that I can wear
And warm people that I can return to

It is funny though
How often people overlook these things
And take them for granted
I guess that happens to everyone...

Flipping through the last pages
I stare at the words lining the page
So much has changed
So much has stayed the same

And the pen that I hold now
Puts the next few stanzas on the paper
Writing about the day that is at hand
Writing about the things that I have

And life it seems
Is a book that everyone writes
For there is still in my book
Empty pages that are waiting to be filled.

Last edited by BlackMageGirl!; 12-15-2004 at 02:00 PM.
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Unread 10-31-2004, 04:13 PM   #390
Lycanthrope
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How strange it is to look on fate
To see someone who you barely know
to know you'll come to know,
come to love her soon
If the signs read true.
If she is the star fortold
How strange a game fate plays
with the human heart and mind
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