NPF Avatars: Sadness and Family Intervention - Page 11

Darth SS · 04-02-2006, 09:30 PM

Darth took that moment to literally vomit inside his mouth. He then ran over to the evil Hentai girls and spat his vomit all over them. Then he stumbled away, tears streaming out of his eyes. His voice went up an octave.

"What's the matter with you all? Can't I ever have a day or normality? Why do you keep causing all this sexual innuendo? You're the reason I'm in therapy! Why are you all so messed up? I hate you all! I hate you!"

Then Darth ran after POS, intent on getting pay for renting out his lightsaber.

POS Industries · 04-02-2006, 10:40 PM

Darth tore through the darkened corridors of the Mashirosen tower at at high speed, using his Force sensitivity to track POS in order to collect retribution for his use of the sith lord's weapon. He could feel that the tycoon was close and, just as he was nearly at Pedro's position, Darth instinctively ducked as three bright red bolts of laser fire screamed over his head as he turned the corner.

"Oh," POS breathed, a cold glare transfixed on the wide-eyed Darth, "it's you." He didn't lower the weapon, and simply stood silently, his black overcoat and long brown hair obscuring his form into the shadows of the corridor. Pedro finally let out a sigh and, still keeping the blaster trained on Darth, continued to speak. "Look, I have a lot of work to do and am not exactly a people person, so unless this is of dire importance I don't really have time to play. You should go help the others."

And with that, POS pivoted on his good heel and continued limping on into the blackness of the tower, remaining completely focused on the task at hand.

Truce · 04-02-2006, 11:55 PM

You know, it was at times like these that Ecurt really hated working for Asheth. More than he usually did, anyway. Luckily for him, he had a lot of experience as Asheth's meat shield, and he knew exactly what he had to do.

He began radiating an Aura of Love, similar to what Asheth had earlier. Dramatically raising his hands in the air, a large pink heart appeared over his head. "Plushies, come to me!"

For a moment nothing happened, but then the J-Rock started to play. Suddenly, an Asheth Plushie™ popped out of the heart, dressed in Sailor Fuku and smelling like expensive perfume. Then there was another, and another, and another. Soon, all the Magical Girl Asheth Plushie™s that had been invading Canada were popping into this room.

Ecurt had only one thing left to do. Pointing at Pheonix, he paused, thinking about what he should say. Only Pyros had direct control of the Asheth Plushies (seeing as each had a little bit of Asheth's essence in them), so he couldn't directly order them to attack. "Phoenix tastes like maple syrup!"

Suddenly, a hundred or so pairs of eyes turned to Phoenix, and the look on their faces could only be described as unrestrained lust. Suddenly, the horde of Magical Girl Asheth Plushies™ began to mass around Phoenix. Hoping that she would be sufficiently distracted, he took this oppourtunity to trade places with the real Asheth, just in case he still happened to be locked onto.

mauve · 04-03-2006, 02:27 AM

In the universe of eleven year old boys, the card war continued. The boy with the Hazel-eyes White Capitalist deck lifted another card. He grinned, knowing his enemy was about to fall.

SLAM! His hand hit the table, slapping down his card.

"I summon the Blue Eyes Pink Sorceress!" he cried triumphantly. The other player raised an eyebrow.

"Are you kidding?" he asked. "That's like the crappiest, most useless card in the entire deck!"

And a small part of the little boy's soul died.

------------------------------------

"I feel as though a child in a parallel universe has just called me a useless addition to our team," Mauve said, looking sad. "That really hurt." Absentmindedly she kicked a lurker in the shin, and brought her knee up to greet his face as he bent over in pain.

"Sure, my past few posts in this thing have been somewhat boring, and sure, maybe I'm not as cool as Darth or Rhiya or Krylo in a fight --" she paused, jabbing an elbow into the solar plexus of the noob who tried to grab her from behind. "--but useless? That was cruel, man. Really cruel."

A noob leapt in front of her. He had a wooden club, but Mauve wasn't in the mood to fool around with this idiot. Useless?! Moving quickly enough to take the newb by suprise, Mauve grabbed his collar and stepped in close to him. She turned, so that her back was facing him, and bent over, pulling the collar forward. The newb was flipped over Mauve's back and landed heavily on the ground.

"I just can't believe it!" Mauve fumed, booting the noob in the kidneys before moving on. " 'Crappy?!' My card would totally kick ass!"

At that moment, Mauve's boot caught on something and she found herself falling towards the floor once more. She spun her arms to regain balance.

"HEY!" she said angrilly. "What the..?!" She looked. A body in pink plushie armor was on the floor. "Oh. Hi Fenry. CURA!" He looked like he could use some healing, so Mauve took a break from the fuming and mindless violence to help him out.

PhoenixFlame · 04-03-2006, 11:17 AM

Phoenix snapped back to attention as Dragonsbane reactivated her emergency reset fail-safe. She'd been meaning to find a way to circumvent all of those annoying commands that restricted her free-will, but in this case, it was appreciated. The hateful wave of purple energy washed over her, restoring all systems to nominal function. The panels of Phoenix's X-Buster closed and shifted sideways like the threads of a drill, the weapon still spinning violently in a melee-mode.

This of course, caused her learning processors to program Phoenix in a remarkably dangerous way.

Love = Hostile
Hatred = Friendly
-Execute-

It was then that Ecurt's fluffy Asheth Plushies™ attempted to glomp Phoenix in (what she saw) was an obviously hostile action. A red crosshair locked onto the first plushie, as Phoenix scanned the hostile plush Asheth. Millions of synaptic processors processed the information before the plushie even hit the ground.

*Scan* *Type: Biological (Negative) Mechanical (Negative) Xenomorphic (Negative)*
*Accessing Database. New hostile type created. Plushie type (P-Type)*
*Vulnerabilities: Slashing, Fire, Plasma, Graviton Dispersion*

Of course, Phoenix had been equipped with a right-forearm heatblade in the event that an enemy might disarm her Vibrosword. Weilding both in the same hand would be problematic, however. Phoenix rectified this by attaching the blade to her right forearm clamp, and projecting the heatblade around the vibrosword.

The result? Flaming Vibrosword!

Spinning her new combination weapon in a figure-eight in front of her, Phoenix strode through the horde of Asheth Plushies™, scattering flaming pieces of plush Asheth in all directions as she did so.

"Die, Happy Cuddly Fluffbags!" Phoenix states angrily.

Truce · 04-03-2006, 09:58 PM

While Phoenix was committing mass plushicide, Ecurt had taken this oppourtunity to run the fuck away before Asheth could possibly use him as a meatshield. So he did. Weaving through the mass of Asheth plushies still throwing themselves at Phoenix despite an obvious and fiery death (they did have Asheth's essence in them, so it wasn't surprising in the least), he finally escaped from that particular corner of chaos and found himself by Mauve and Fenris.

Well, not so much "by" on Fenris' case. You see, he had accidentally stepped on the hobo in his attempt to get as far away from Asheth as possible. Had it not been for the cute squeek, he wouldn't have noticed it at all either. However, with Mauve there and not in either a sailor fuku or bikini, he quickly forgot about Fenris and focused on her.

Grinning evilly, he took a glance at the remaining enemies, then looked at Mauve again, sizing her up. "Say, you said you wanted Special Armor earlier, didn't you?"

04-02-2006, 10:40 PM	#102
POS Industries Argus Agony Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Gotta go fishing! Posts: 10,483	Darth tore through the darkened corridors of the Mashirosen tower at at high speed, using his Force sensitivity to track POS in order to collect retribution for his use of the sith lord's weapon. He could feel that the tycoon was close and, just as he was nearly at Pedro's position, Darth instinctively ducked as three bright red bolts of laser fire screamed over his head as he turned the corner. "Oh," POS breathed, a cold glare transfixed on the wide-eyed Darth, "it's you." He didn't lower the weapon, and simply stood silently, his black overcoat and long brown hair obscuring his form into the shadows of the corridor. Pedro finally let out a sigh and, still keeping the blaster trained on Darth, continued to speak. "Look, I have a lot of work to do and am not exactly a people person, so unless this is of dire importance I don't really have time to play. You should go help the others." And with that, POS pivoted on his good heel and continued limping on into the blackness of the tower, remaining completely focused on the task at hand. __________________ Either you're dead or my watch has stopped. Last edited by POS Industries; 04-03-2006 at 02:59 AM.

04-03-2006, 02:27 AM	#104
mauve So Dreamy Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Someplace magical Posts: 6,863	In the universe of eleven year old boys, the card war continued. The boy with the Hazel-eyes White Capitalist deck lifted another card. He grinned, knowing his enemy was about to fall. SLAM! His hand hit the table, slapping down his card. "I summon the Blue Eyes Pink Sorceress!" he cried triumphantly. The other player raised an eyebrow. "Are you kidding?" he asked. "That's like the crappiest, most useless card in the entire deck!" And a small part of the little boy's soul died. ------------------------------------ "I feel as though a child in a parallel universe has just called me a useless addition to our team," Mauve said, looking sad. "That really hurt." Absentmindedly she kicked a lurker in the shin, and brought her knee up to greet his face as he bent over in pain. "Sure, my past few posts in this thing have been somewhat boring, and sure, maybe I'm not as cool as Darth or Rhiya or Krylo in a fight --" she paused, jabbing an elbow into the solar plexus of the noob who tried to grab her from behind. "--but useless? That was cruel, man. Really cruel." A noob leapt in front of her. He had a wooden club, but Mauve wasn't in the mood to fool around with this idiot. Useless?! Moving quickly enough to take the newb by suprise, Mauve grabbed his collar and stepped in close to him. She turned, so that her back was facing him, and bent over, pulling the collar forward. The newb was flipped over Mauve's back and landed heavily on the ground. "I just can't believe it!" Mauve fumed, booting the noob in the kidneys before moving on. " 'Crappy?!' My card would totally kick ass!" At that moment, Mauve's boot caught on something and she found herself falling towards the floor once more. She spun her arms to regain balance. "HEY!" she said angrilly. "What the..?!" She looked. A body in pink plushie armor was on the floor. "Oh. Hi Fenry. CURA!" He looked like he could use some healing, so Mauve took a break from the fuming and mindless violence to help him out. __________________ Yoo Hoo!

04-03-2006, 11:17 AM	#105
PhoenixFlame ☢!CAUTION!☢ Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Beneath Gensokyo Posts: 3,668	Phoenix snapped back to attention as Dragonsbane reactivated her emergency reset fail-safe. She'd been meaning to find a way to circumvent all of those annoying commands that restricted her free-will, but in this case, it was appreciated. The hateful wave of purple energy washed over her, restoring all systems to nominal function. The panels of Phoenix's X-Buster closed and shifted sideways like the threads of a drill, the weapon still spinning violently in a melee-mode. This of course, caused her learning processors to program Phoenix in a remarkably dangerous way. Love = Hostile Hatred = Friendly -Execute- It was then that Ecurt's fluffy Asheth Plushies™ attempted to glomp Phoenix in (what she saw) was an obviously hostile action. A red crosshair locked onto the first plushie, as Phoenix scanned the hostile plush Asheth. Millions of synaptic processors processed the information before the plushie even hit the ground. Scan Type: Biological (Negative) Mechanical (Negative) Xenomorphic (Negative) Accessing Database. New hostile type created. Plushie type (P-Type) Vulnerabilities: Slashing, Fire, Plasma, Graviton Dispersion Of course, Phoenix had been equipped with a right-forearm heatblade in the event that an enemy might disarm her Vibrosword. Weilding both in the same hand would be problematic, however. Phoenix rectified this by attaching the blade to her right forearm clamp, and projecting the heatblade around the vibrosword. The result? Flaming Vibrosword! Spinning her new combination weapon in a figure-eight in front of her, Phoenix strode through the horde of Asheth Plushies™, scattering flaming pieces of plush Asheth in all directions as she did so. "Die, Happy Cuddly Fluffbags!" Phoenix states angrily. __________________ "Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic." -from The Sayings of Muad'Dib by the Princess Irulan Last edited by PhoenixFlame; 04-03-2006 at 11:20 AM.

04-02-2006, 11:55 PM	#103
Truce Lakitu Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 3,856	You know, it was at times like these that Ecurt really hated working for Asheth. More than he usually did, anyway. Luckily for him, he had a lot of experience as Asheth's meat shield, and he knew exactly what he had to do. He began radiating an Aura of Love, similar to what Asheth had earlier. Dramatically raising his hands in the air, a large pink heart appeared over his head. "Plushies, come to me!" For a moment nothing happened, but then the J-Rock started to play. Suddenly, an Asheth Plushie™ popped out of the heart, dressed in Sailor Fuku and smelling like expensive perfume. Then there was another, and another, and another. Soon, all the Magical Girl Asheth Plushie™s that had been invading Canada were popping into this room. Ecurt had only one thing left to do. Pointing at Pheonix, he paused, thinking about what he should say. Only Pyros had direct control of the Asheth Plushies (seeing as each had a little bit of Asheth's essence in them), so he couldn't directly order them to attack. "Phoenix tastes like maple syrup!" Suddenly, a hundred or so pairs of eyes turned to Phoenix, and the look on their faces could only be described as unrestrained lust. Suddenly, the horde of Magical Girl Asheth Plushies™ began to mass around Phoenix. Hoping that she would be sufficiently distracted, he took this oppourtunity to trade places with the real Asheth, just in case he still happened to be locked onto.

04-03-2006, 09:58 PM	#106
Truce Lakitu Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 3,856	While Phoenix was committing mass plushicide, Ecurt had taken this oppourtunity to run the fuck away before Asheth could possibly use him as a meatshield. So he did. Weaving through the mass of Asheth plushies still throwing themselves at Phoenix despite an obvious and fiery death (they did have Asheth's essence in them, so it wasn't surprising in the least), he finally escaped from that particular corner of chaos and found himself by Mauve and Fenris. Well, not so much "by" on Fenris' case. You see, he had accidentally stepped on the hobo in his attempt to get as far away from Asheth as possible. Had it not been for the cute squeek, he wouldn't have noticed it at all either. However, with Mauve there and not in either a sailor fuku or bikini, he quickly forgot about Fenris and focused on her. Grinning evilly, he took a glance at the remaining enemies, then looked at Mauve again, sizing her up. "Say, you said you wanted Special Armor earlier, didn't you?"