NPF Avatars 5 - The Big Come Down

[Bailey]

Keyman now had no pants.

One would not normally think that this was a problem for a being made of shadows, but the same teleporter which had stolen his pants had also given him boxers with Barney the Dinosaur on.

Keyman was not amused.

And then the fembots attacked. "Oh, uh, battle? I choose... First Aid, Penultima, and Sprint for my spells, increased magicalness for decreased toughness and increased combo chain for decreased base attack power as my stances, and I'll take three relife gems as my items."

He began hauling off on Fembots with the Adaptive, and as he struck more and more, his keyblade changed subtly to maximize damage against fembots. Then he got the headband back.


Keyman grinned to himself and began REALLY letting the mayhem fly.

By the time he caught up with the present, he was doing better than fairly well, being able to inflict 9A5F damage on a fembot with a single blow.

"Hey Pedro, want our help getting through this mob? We'll help if you give us our pants back."

[Fenris]

A stray fembot arm flew and cleared out a row of Fembots impeding Pedro's path. In fact, Fenris thought that Irium would be most useful away from him.

'Fold yourself according to my thoughts!'

'Let me decipher this... you want me to fold myself into a certain form of triangle, right Fenry?'

'We call it a "paper airplane" and I'm going to throw you over to Pedro, he needs your assistance in clearing out those fembots.'

'Okay then, Fenry!'

Irium made the necessary adjustments, and Fenris threw him to Pedro, with a shout of "Pedro! Catch!"

Fenris returned to mauling the fembots, and utilizing the return feature of the boomerhammer, well, returned it to his possession. (OOC: Hawk, you still have it too, so if you want to use it, then by all means just take it.)

Fenris spun in a beautiful cyclone of death, throwing his hammer and circular slashing with his sword. What a downright gorgeous display of gratuitous violence.

Sometime during the tornado death cycle, Fenris told Incendius, "I already have enough voices in my head, I don't need everybody's. Thank you for the offer, though."

To further enunciate his point, the two voices in his head spoke up.

'Yo.'

'Yo.'

[PyrosNine]

"Whatever, bear! I'll show you a dragon punch! Triceratops-mounted Shoryuken!"

Pyros proceeded to put his years of forward, down, down-forward and punch to the test, and gave a massive punch from atop the TBMteratops.

[Krylo]

Krylo ducked under Phoenix's blow, diving behind the growing chaos dragon's tail for cover.

Once the plasma was no longer a danger, Krylo jumped up onto Rhiya's tail and began running up it seemingly in pursuit of the android, reaching out to catch the Wind Edge's return as he did so.

"Hey! Truce! We have bigger problems right now! You take the giant snake and I'll attempt to deal with this one! If we don't get rid of them we'll both end up ringed out!" Krylo shouted to Phoenixbot as he flipped open his revolver and expelled the empty cartridges as well as a few still usable armor piercing rounds. He let the empty shells fall to the ground and pocketed the unused ones, while digging out some hollowpoint rounds.

[Arhra]

Arhra watched the fight with a growing sense of detachment from her vantage point about a third of the way up Rhiya's neck. Almost all aerial combat was over now - the only airborne people were Black and Raven. It was kind of nice up here...

She was quite shocked to suddenly look back and see Phoenixbot racing along, using the skittering resistance of her buzzsaw to traverse Rhiya's diamond flanks at startling speed, firing a flame-like diffuse cascade of excited particles from her partially dismantled PPC at a pursuing Krylo.

It distracted her from seeing Pyros chuck a flaming thread at Monty until it was too late, that could put a serious cramp in the plan. But, she did spy an interesting conflict, the bear fighting Pyros and what looked like TBM, if he had been born as a triceratops.

"Whatever, bear! I'll show you a dragon punch! Triceratops-mounted Shoryuken!" Pyros yelled at it, racing forwards to make his attack.

"Oh, I can go one better than that," Arhra muttered, sensing opportunity, "Rhiya!" she called up at the dragon's head, thumping a hand on Rhiya's neck to get her attention, "We must protect the bear! Punch the dinosaur!"

Krylo ran up after Phoenix and then, it seemed, he realised the dangers posed by expanding reptiles, proposing an alliance with his foe. She was lucky it had been yelled.

"Damnit." Arhra said, "I should have remembered that trying to sit out of the battle never works. It is just asking for bad luck! I've gotten lazy." Calling a coil of as yet undirected energy up and curling it around her arm, she jumped, sliding down the slope of Rhiya's neck. At the base, she jerked back up to a standing position, skidding to a halt.

The pair were probably surprised to have an Arhra coming out of nowhere, but it didn't stop them pointing weapons at her. Arhra assessed the position - she was just behind the shoulders and they were back near the rump. It should give her enough distance to dodge.

"Hello you two," Arhra said, trying to look nonviolent. "I believe I have a proposition for you." she clasped her hands together, a sly, confiding expression on her face. "You're right. People on the floor will be easily ringed out with giant reptiles taking up all the space. But, up here, we're safe. With a little effort, we can stop anyone we don't like getting up here and all end up in the finale eight." she finished enticingly, "What do you say?"

She considered a possible response. "And if I feel so much as one bullet hit me, I'll come over there and pull your lungs through your nostrils." Arhra said in conclusion. She knew Phoenixbot probably didn't have lungs, but she'd find a way.

[Rhiya Ravenwing]

Rhiya had a choice between putting off her attack against Black or getting toothache.

Rhiya chose option C: Neither of the above – or, in more gamish terms: GG
Her enormous jaws snapped shut, enclosing RMB entirely. There was the sound of a gigantic throat going to work at the difficult prize.

RMB let loose with his water spell, aiming down Rhiya’s eatin’ tube, seeking out her lungs, unsuspecting that he is about to be sorely disappointed.

The water rushed down, down, until…
Despite his best efforts, as RMB hurtled down Rhiya’s throat via peristalsis, the water just went on going, never seeming to fill up anything, just going and going.

Then he found out why.

Rhiya had no lungs. In fact, save for the fact that there’s a tube leading from Rhiya’s mouth to where her stomach SHOULD be, Rhiya is distinctly wanting in certain other regions, namely, other organs of squishiness. Even the oesophagus crunched down on him in their diamond-hard fury, his tentacly metal barely withstanding the crushing power driving him ever-downward.

And then he reached where a dragon’s stomach would normally be, except that in Rhiya’s case, it wasn’t. Instead, RMB stared into the ever-hungry gaping jaw of a Point of Singularity contained within Rhiya’s very belly.

Then there was a blinding flash of light, and suddenly RMB was outside, still falling at the same velocity as he was when he reached Rhiya’s stomach (ie: throw a ball straight at the ground fast).

If he didn’t correct his flight path immediately, he was definitely going to make a crater outside the arena ring.

~~

Rhiya looked around, and grumbled with disappointment.
“Damnit, it happened again!” She turned around, copping a face full of pie in the proce—
Wait… PIE?!

“π!!!!” Rhiya screamed and opened her mouth wide.