5 minute poetry - Page 127

MasterKazoom · 11-16-2005, 10:11 AM

I'm still not sure if poetry is all good for me, I mean, if I'm any good at poetry, that is. Here I go.

him
is there anyone with him?
no, there isn't
but where is he now?
right there, but you can't see him
why don't we talk to him?
he doesn't talk
why?
that's a good question
why, though?
he doesn't.
why don't we introduce ourselves?
he already knows us.
how's that?
he knows.
how so?
just so.

--

I already edited it a bit, it sounded too religious... please give me your thoughts

Cloud Strife · 11-17-2005, 06:54 AM

Crazy -
Constant thoughts in shallow showing,
overflowing, never knowing
who the creator of these once was.

Dizzy -
Thoughts confusing,
mental bruising,
always fooling
those who seek to tame the skies.

Angry -
Thoughts are clouded,
yells unfounded,
judgement grounded
by fiery eyes.

Sadly -
Thoughts descending,
never ending,
tears now blending
in with deepened pools of blood.

Scary -
Fear fulfilling,
brain unwilling,
senses killing
all good thought;
just turn and run.

RagnarofBurland · 11-17-2005, 06:58 AM

Hey, MasterKazoom, It took me a minutes to figure out what you are trying to do there but I like the idea. Have you ever seen a series of books called "Conversations with God"? They work in a similar way.

Anywho, you want a thought so here be one: Why not capitalizes each line when a different speaker speaks? (I can think of a few reasons why not doing so might be a good idea too though.)

Anyway, I might as well be poetic whilst I sit here...

Chugging,
Like a steam engine,
Roaring,
Like a Lion,
Claws,
Like an angry bear,
Footsteps,
Like the giant.
You,
Have a bad day again?

MasterKazoom · 11-17-2005, 09:08 AM

@Ragnar: You will laugh - I said I already edited the poem, and the editing I did was to decapitalize the pronouns and beginnings - I did that to take away the feeling that 'him' specifically means God, which is one interpretation, but I did not want to limit the reader's imagination by already giving him the image of 'him' - this mentioned 'him' is a different person for everyone who reads this - religious people may think of God, others may think of a particular person that always stood in the back, unseeing but there nonetheless, maybe the shy but polite girl or guy in the back of class, say. This poem was meant to express that I met many of those people, and that I want everyone else to think about it a bit and have a moment of reminiscing if they ever met people that were just like that. I was like that, myself. I was shy, a loner, but I usually knew and envied all those around me. People might have liked me, but I always blocked them, because I felt that this was the way things ought to be. When I wrote this poem it felt right, and talking about it makes me shudder because of the realisation it gives you.

RagnarofBurland · 11-17-2005, 02:34 PM

Well, that was more of an explaination than I had ever imagined receiving. A good thing to, or I wouldn't have been so pleasantly suprised. Not to mention the partial autobiographical nature of it...

But, I think I shall indulge myself one more time today...I shall stab at a Haiku.

Drifting in the wind,
It comes as drivers pass us,
Cleveland's first snowfall.

MasterKazoom · 11-17-2005, 07:48 PM

Okay, now I feel bad. I didn't mean to ramble like that or frighten people with my rather self-conscious nature.

RagnarofBurland · 11-18-2005, 06:44 AM

No need to feel bad, some of us prefer to be in the shadows sometimes. But now for a joke to lighten the mood.

Submit to its will,
There can be no resistance,
Time for the bathroom.

Jeneralissimo · 11-18-2005, 08:05 AM

The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Midnight
Maybe I just need to look the material over
One more time?
Surely you realize that after a certain point,
This too is a form of stalling.
Not much else I can do
When nothing is coming to me.
Why do I always wait so long?

One AM
Of its own accord,
My hand reaches down
Into the bottom desk drawer
Which most people would use to store files.
Mine, however, is filled with a king�s ransom
In cake frosting and Japanese candy.
Precisely for situations like this
I reach for some Pocky
And bravely soldier on.

Two AM
The fan whirs.
The traffic is all but gone.
The toilet starts running on its own.
Really must get that fixed
Who am I kidding?
This project was due a month ago?
Longer?
If I can�t even get something done
That counts for a grade
What will motivate me
To call for repairs?

And there are some things even the repairman can�t fix
A lot of things, actually
Like the banging of pipes
Which serenades me now
Drowning out everything else
Some things cannot be fixed.
I am starting to think I�m one of them.

Two-Thirty AM
The part of my mind
Which used to create
Has been shut down for quite some time
Waking it up is much like
Waking a bear from hibernation
Dangerous, counterintuitive, and, thus far, unproductive.

Three AM
The couch looks quite inviting
As the hours keep marching on
But to accept it now
Is to accept defeat
And that I just won�t do.
Stay your post
Stand your ground
The pillow will be your reward.

A box appears
What�s up?
I�m screwed
You always were an optimist
Shut up
What have you done now?
I need to get this paper done
Then why are you online?

It makes me feel less alone�

Four AM
The pages are now covered
With an army of words.
Are they good?
I hope so.
They have yet to be tested on the field of battle.
I think that when the time comes,
I will be proud of them.

Six AM
After a nap,
I look my work over one more time.
It doesn�t look quite as good as it did last night.
But it is better than I expected.
I print it out
And head for the firing squad.

MasterKazoom · 11-18-2005, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Submit to its will,
There can be no resistance,
Time for the bathroom.

This one had me cracking up XD

@Jen: I don't have the time right now to give your poem the proper thorough reading, but you will get an opinion, I read the first stance and it seemed good.

CheshireThief · 11-18-2005, 05:46 PM

I haven't posted any of my lyrics in a while. This one has music, and it's in the key of C!

Are We Still Friends?

I thought it would work out
I thought that we'd stay friends
And now you say you don't
Wanna see my face again
You try to bring me down
I hope you feel like shit
Because it's you, not me
Who is the hypocrite

What we had was good for a while
But then a frown replaced your usual smile
We both decided this was for the best
As it turns out, you're the same as the rest

I thought it would work out
I thought that we'd stay friends
And now you say you don't
Wanna see my face again
You try to bring me down
I hope you feel like shit
Because it's you, not me
Who is the hypocrite

You still listen to the songs that I sing
But you ignore the telephone as it rings
You said my last call was awkward--and how
Will you feel
When you hear this
It looks like
It's Mister Awkward
Who's got the
Last laugh now

I thought it would work out
I thought that we'd stay friends
And now you say you don't
Wanna see my face again
You try to bring me down
I hope you feel like shit
Because it's you, not me
Who is the hypocrite

Leaving you felt so much like quitting
I just want to say I miss you--Just kidding!

I thought it would work out
I thought that we'd stay friends
And now you say you don't
Wanna see my face again
You try to bring me down
I hope you feel like shit
Because it's you, not me
Who is a hypocrite

I thought it would work out
I thought that we'd stay friends
I thought it would work out
I thoguht it would work out
I thought it would work out
I thought it would work out
Guess I was wrong

11-16-2005, 10:11 AM	#1261
MasterKazoom Plain Dumb Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In your Heart Posts: 118	I'm still not sure if poetry is all good for me, I mean, if I'm any good at poetry, that is. Here I go. him is there anyone with him? no, there isn't but where is he now? right there, but you can't see him why don't we talk to him? he doesn't talk why? that's a good question why, though? he doesn't. why don't we introduce ourselves? he already knows us. how's that? he knows. how so? just so. -- I already edited it a bit, it sounded too religious... please give me your thoughts __________________ a wise man once said to me - always keep a handkerchief in your loincloth!

11-17-2005, 06:54 AM	#1262
Cloud Strife Stranger in a strange land. Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Walla Walla, WA. Posts: 2,846	Emotion Crazy - Constant thoughts in shallow showing, overflowing, never knowing who the creator of these once was. Dizzy - Thoughts confusing, mental bruising, always fooling those who seek to tame the skies. Angry - Thoughts are clouded, yells unfounded, judgement grounded by fiery eyes. Sadly - Thoughts descending, never ending, tears now blending in with deepened pools of blood. Scary - Fear fulfilling, brain unwilling, senses killing all good thought; just turn and run. __________________ You know, I'd put up something witty and clever right now, but eh. I'm lazy.

11-17-2005, 06:58 AM	#1263
RagnarofBurland Soldier of Burland Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 192	Hey, MasterKazoom, It took me a minutes to figure out what you are trying to do there but I like the idea. Have you ever seen a series of books called "Conversations with God"? They work in a similar way. Anywho, you want a thought so here be one: Why not capitalizes each line when a different speaker speaks? (I can think of a few reasons why not doing so might be a good idea too though.) Anyway, I might as well be poetic whilst I sit here... Chugging, Like a steam engine, Roaring, Like a Lion, Claws, Like an angry bear, Footsteps, Like the giant. You, Have a bad day again? __________________ *Avatar by Sneak over at Giantitp.com*

11-17-2005, 09:08 AM	#1264
MasterKazoom Plain Dumb Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In your Heart Posts: 118	@Ragnar: You will laugh - I said I already edited the poem, and the editing I did was to decapitalize the pronouns and beginnings - I did that to take away the feeling that 'him' specifically means God, which is one interpretation, but I did not want to limit the reader's imagination by already giving him the image of 'him' - this mentioned 'him' is a different person for everyone who reads this - religious people may think of God, others may think of a particular person that always stood in the back, unseeing but there nonetheless, maybe the shy but polite girl or guy in the back of class, say. This poem was meant to express that I met many of those people, and that I want everyone else to think about it a bit and have a moment of reminiscing if they ever met people that were just like that. I was like that, myself. I was shy, a loner, but I usually knew and envied all those around me. People might have liked me, but I always blocked them, because I felt that this was the way things ought to be. When I wrote this poem it felt right, and talking about it makes me shudder because of the realisation it gives you. __________________ a wise man once said to me - always keep a handkerchief in your loincloth!

11-17-2005, 02:34 PM	#1265
RagnarofBurland Soldier of Burland Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 192	Well, that was more of an explaination than I had ever imagined receiving. A good thing to, or I wouldn't have been so pleasantly suprised. Not to mention the partial autobiographical nature of it... But, I think I shall indulge myself one more time today...I shall stab at a Haiku. Drifting in the wind, It comes as drivers pass us, Cleveland's first snowfall. __________________ *Avatar by Sneak over at Giantitp.com* Last edited by RagnarofBurland; 11-17-2005 at 02:37 PM.

11-17-2005, 07:48 PM	#1266
MasterKazoom Plain Dumb Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In your Heart Posts: 118	Okay, now I feel bad. I didn't mean to ramble like that or frighten people with my rather self-conscious nature. __________________ a wise man once said to me - always keep a handkerchief in your loincloth!

11-18-2005, 06:44 AM	#1267
RagnarofBurland Soldier of Burland Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 192	No need to feel bad, some of us prefer to be in the shadows sometimes. But now for a joke to lighten the mood. Submit to its will, There can be no resistance, Time for the bathroom. __________________ *Avatar by Sneak over at Giantitp.com*

11-18-2005, 08:05 AM	#1268
Jeneralissimo Happy quails come from California Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Neverwhere Posts: 682	The Pen is Mightier than the Sword Midnight Maybe I just need to look the material over One more time? Surely you realize that after a certain point, This too is a form of stalling. Not much else I can do When nothing is coming to me. Why do I always wait so long? One AM Of its own accord, My hand reaches down Into the bottom desk drawer Which most people would use to store files. Mine, however, is filled with a king�s ransom In cake frosting and Japanese candy. Precisely for situations like this I reach for some Pocky And bravely soldier on. Two AM The fan whirs. The traffic is all but gone. The toilet starts running on its own. Really must get that fixed Who am I kidding? This project was due a month ago? Longer? If I can�t even get something done That counts for a grade What will motivate me To call for repairs? And there are some things even the repairman can�t fix A lot of things, actually Like the banging of pipes Which serenades me now Drowning out everything else Some things cannot be fixed. I am starting to think I�m one of them. Two-Thirty AM The part of my mind Which used to create Has been shut down for quite some time Waking it up is much like Waking a bear from hibernation Dangerous, counterintuitive, and, thus far, unproductive. Three AM The couch looks quite inviting As the hours keep marching on But to accept it now Is to accept defeat And that I just won�t do. Stay your post Stand your ground The pillow will be your reward. A box appears What�s up? I�m screwed You always were an optimist Shut up What have you done now? I need to get this paper done Then why are you online? It makes me feel less alone� Four AM The pages are now covered With an army of words. Are they good? I hope so. They have yet to be tested on the field of battle. I think that when the time comes, I will be proud of them. Six AM After a nap, I look my work over one more time. It doesn�t look quite as good as it did last night. But it is better than I expected. I print it out And head for the firing squad. __________________ Hey, if they expected writers to know grammar, they wouldn't hire editors. ~ Fifthfiend *Warning: Long-time exposure to chat8bit has been known to cause severe brain damage, mental retardation, seizures, eyeball bleeding, violent fits, spontaneous combustion, death, reanimation, and a total disregard for physics. ~ RZ

11-18-2005, 05:46 PM	#1270
CheshireThief Still RaiRai's ***** Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Shut up, KP. Posts: 2,365	I haven't posted any of my lyrics in a while. This one has music, and it's in the key of C! Are We Still Friends? I thought it would work out I thought that we'd stay friends And now you say you don't Wanna see my face again You try to bring me down I hope you feel like shit Because it's you, not me Who is the hypocrite What we had was good for a while But then a frown replaced your usual smile We both decided this was for the best As it turns out, you're the same as the rest I thought it would work out I thought that we'd stay friends And now you say you don't Wanna see my face again You try to bring me down I hope you feel like shit Because it's you, not me Who is the hypocrite You still listen to the songs that I sing But you ignore the telephone as it rings You said my last call was awkward--and how Will you feel When you hear this It looks like It's Mister Awkward Who's got the Last laugh now I thought it would work out I thought that we'd stay friends And now you say you don't Wanna see my face again You try to bring me down I hope you feel like shit Because it's you, not me Who is the hypocrite Leaving you felt so much like quitting I just want to say I miss you--Just kidding! I thought it would work out I thought that we'd stay friends And now you say you don't Wanna see my face again You try to bring me down I hope you feel like shit Because it's you, not me Who is a hypocrite I thought it would work out I thought that we'd stay friends I thought it would work out I thoguht it would work out I thought it would work out I thought it would work out Guess I was wrong __________________ Holy crap! A CheshireThief spotting!