Final Fantasy/8-Bit Theatre Fanstories

[Robert Paulson]

Presenting: The semi-new adventures of the Light Warriors. This takes place after the class change.

It was late at night. Fighter, Thief, BlackMage and RedMage had been travelling for the longest time. They were all walking down a worn out path that led to somewhere, they weren't sure where exactly. The four of them were exhausted. RedMage said to the group, "I can only hope the minimap was correct. The nearest inn shouldn't be too far ahead. I only have so much stamina afterall." Right as he said that, the four caught sight of a roadside inn. Thief remarked, "Is that the inn you were talking about?" RedMage exclaimed, "Why yes! The minimap never fails!" The building itself was an ordinary two-story inn, that looked like it had fallen into disrepair ages ago. A sign out front of the inn read, "Open stage night." The Light Warriors walked in. A receptionist awaited them. The receptionist man said, "Welcome, weary travellers. What can I do for you at this late hour?" Thief told, "Room for four, one night only." The receptionist then said, "That'll be 300 gil." Fighter asked, "What's that sign out front mean?" The man behind the desk answered, "Oh, that. There's a parlor downstairs in the basement. Tonight, anyone can go onstage and do an act." RedMage commented, "Hmm, such entertainment could raise our morale, and morale could turn the tides in an epic boss confrontation! I'll be there right now." "Me too!" Fighter added. BlackMage said, "I'll see this open stage night, so that I may heckle and mock the performers incessantly." Thief told, "I'll arrange the setup for our staying here."

So then Fighter, RedMage and BlackMage went to the basement of the inn. Now they were in a large room, filled with tables and chairs, and on the far end, a stage. At the moment, a man dressed like a jester was on stage. The jester was addressing the audience, "And what's the deal with airship food anyways? I mean seriously, is it that hard to make good food while flying through the air?" The audience chuckled, Fighter and RedMage included. BlackMage was not amused. He was near the stairs, and hadn't taken a seat like Fighter and RedMage. Instead, the dark wizard was holding out his right hand. A fireball was forming in the palm of his hand. He was thinking that setting this 'joker' on fire from a distance would've been much more humorous than listening to one half-assed joke after another. The jester continued his act, "And why is it that inspiring melee fighters always use swords and nothing else?" Fighter was visibly startled by this. BlackMage put down his hand, no longer giving off a flame, and thought, on second thought, maybe I will stay. The jester then spoke, "There are many, many other weapons one can use up close: axes, lances, hammers, whips, halberds, maces, scythes, clubs, staves and daggers to name a few. So why this fixation on swords? Only reason I can imagine someone wanting a sword was because it resembled a giant phallus. Think about it; why do you think blacksmiths make some swords ridiculously large and long? It's so the knight owning it can draw it out and say, 'check out the size of my equipment!' And also, have you heard about the new chained swords?" Fighter became wild-eyed. The jester continued, "It's like nunchuks, but instead of two sticks joined by a chain, it's two swords joined by a chain. First of all, I gotta ask, what's the point? The whole concept behind chained swords is impractical. Why not just use two ordinary swords in each hand, or a double-edged sword? Seriously, what idiot dreamt this up?" Fighter stood up proudly and bellowed, "I would be that idiot, sir!" BlackMage fell to the ground, laughing uncontrollably. RedMage murmured to himself, "This is turning out to be a rather funny cutscene." The jester said to Fighter, "What? No way! You didn't make up chained swords!" Fighter marched onto the stage, shouting, "But I did! See here!" He held out his swordchucks, then bragged, "Watch what I can do!" He began twirling his swords around at a blinding speed, when suddenly, one of the swords broke off the chain, and went flying towards BlackMage. The sword barely missed the black-turned-blue mage. Fighter stated, "Oops." The jester added, "My point exactly." Fighter and RedMage went to BlackMage, who was more angered than shocked by Fighter's antics. Fighter picked up his blade and said, "Sorry about that, buddy." BlackMage coldly replied, "Your existence is but one of many reasons I live to obtain ultimate power." "Thanks! And everything you said, but the other way around, with your existence inspiring me to become stronger!" Fighter said back. The three went back upstairs. Thief was conversing with the receptionist. The Elf was saying, "Come on, it'll be just this once. I'll never ask you again." The receptionist scolded, "No, a thousand times no! I have a reputation to live up to!" "But you'd be serving royalty!" Thief argued. RedMage asked, "What seems to be the problem?" Thief answered, "I'm trying to lower the price to 5 gil, but he won't budge." BlackMage asked, "Strange. Sounded like you were trying to get him to perform a-" Thief interrupted, "Don't even finish that sentence! Why you humans must think entirely in perverted thoughts is beyond my reasoning." BlackMage said, "Don't lie. You know it's true." Thief handed the receptionist 300 gil and told, "Forget what I said."

The Light Warriors spent one night at the rusty old inn, and by the morning, they were already continuing down the worn path. On the way, a young boy stopped them. He looked very out of place. He asked the Warriors, "Excuse me, um, I could use some help." BlackMage blurted, "We don't know, we don't care-" but RedMage covered BlackMage's mouth, assuming the blue mage had a mouth, and snapped, "Quiet! This child might lend us experience!" The boy continued, "You see, I travel a lot with some friends of mine, but recently I got separated from them. Have you seen them? There's two; you couldn't mistake them. One is a dog, kinda tall, has really long ears, and the other's a duck, has a funny voice. In fact, they almost look human; they wear clothes, stand on two feet, and can talk, have you seen them by any chance?" The four Warriors all drew a puzzled look at the human boy. Then Fighter, Thief, BlackMage and RedMage bursted into an uproarious laughter. BlackMage, in his laughter, managed to say, "You might wanna try layin' off the forest shrooms, kid!" The boy exclaimed, "Hey, that's not funny! I didn't make any of that up! You know what? Nevermind. I'll just be on my way." The boy walked off in the opposite direction of where the Light Warriors were going. Thief said, "Wow, and I thought human children couldn't be any more stupid." RedMage then told, "Pretty soon, they'll be saying that the legends of a kingdom run by mice monarchs turned out true!" And the four of them marched on . . .

To be continued.

[Seran]

[Iron] Sword - 75 gil.
Swordchucks - 500 gil.
Kingdom Hearts reference - priceless.

I can't get the next update of Black Mage's Horrors, you guys. My folder was deleted from dad's computer and took the update with it.

+++

The sounds of preparation for war was truly unnerving, as the clangs of swords against their sheaths broke the air, with armor screechily huffing as plates of steel rubbed against one another, and the breaths of a robe or cloak along the ground joined the melody of darkness and war as the foursome marched out from their tent, led through the forest by a fully armored Garland with a fierce flame in his blue eyes, followed by the dark elf named Drizz'l with his moonlight hair and piercing gaze. Behind him went Vilbert the vampire with his ever-pale face and dead heart, and lastly was Bikke with his bulky arms flexing in the soft light. Vilbert was careful to avoid any, and absolutely any bit of sunlight that rolled down unto the forest's littered ground covered in leaves and twigs, but despite the curse of the day, it was the perfect time to defeat the Light Warriors. Drizz'l flicked his head and his white bangs flew from his dark face, his own golden eyes locked only on the path before them. Garland's armor gleamed menacingly in the day, glaring every time the sun managed to shine upon it. It was no longer time to sulk from the presence of their miserable comrades, nor wonder to themselves why their own existences were so pitiful. It was no longer time to think of a world full of paradise in their own eyes. The hour of misery and hoping had gone -- the only hoping they would need to do was for the painful, agonizing deaths of their true enemies. It was perfect to lay upon their foes a bloody storm, a bloody downpour of pain and hurt. They all knew what they wanted. They wanted to see the green leaves of late spring turn crimson and leave not the birth that spring promised, but the death that the Dark Warriors had longed for. They had wanted it for so long. Each and every one dreamed of the vision in their minds, ready to face a one-time war that they should either win or lose...and none of them wanted to lose anything. They would risk nothing. They approached the river, but Drizz'l was the first to slip in like a deadly anaconda, stalking prey with a silent grace. True, Drizz'l had long ago stated he could not swim when they had been overseas, but he had learned much since then. Besides, he thought it as not being clear water, but water waiting to be poisoned by the blood of their enemies. Vilbert paused and stared down at the current as Drizz'l struggled through it. He didn't want the water to ruin his outfit. Yet the clouds that gathered above promised to him the dark hours that would soon come, the dark times they could bring upon the world, and as Garland held onto his cloak, he walked in and swam across the river once Drizz'l had reached the other end of the current. Bikke watched after them, wishing that there was a bridge, but Garland leaned over and reached out in a silent gesture that merely stated he would help Bikke if Bikke would only swim. Without a single voice to lend, Bikke did indeed jump as far as he could, crash into the water, and attempt to swim toward Garland's hand. He lunged out, grabbed the dark knight by the wrist, and Garland pulled back to get Bikke to shore. Once that was done after a bit of difficulty, they all pressed on, weapons in hands and tactics in minds. Drizz'l was holding two silver swords, each in one hand, his elven spirit stilled by the calm before the tempest, before they would stain themselves with crimson life and delicious victory. Bikke crushed a flower as he followed the other three closely. Vilbert hung his head in a sinister manner, his red hair drenched and his outfit dripping from the river's cold water.
The soft voice of Drizz'l laughed in the silence as he followed the scent that was luring him into the camp of the Light Warriors. Garland turned his head, stopping his advance toward the camp, and gave his fellow miscreant a curious look to the quiet chuckle. As the dark elf walked on by, he offered his explanation for his amusement.
"We're in luck...this'll be easier than I had ever hoped."

Fighter shut his eyes in agony whilst Red Mage touched the wound that Black Mage had inflicted. He had already lost enough blood, coughing it up as it clogged his throat and watching it flow out of the lesion. He squirmed with anguish while Red Mage tried to force him into a more still position so that he wouldn't writhe from the pain. Had Black Mage's attack really been that lethal? Red Mage grabbed Fighter by the shoulders, pinned his arms to his sides, and said quietly, "Fighter, I need you to stop moving if I need you to heal."
The warrior only clamped his teeth beneath his closed lips, shut his eyes, and gave a vague moan as his head rolled to the side. Thief sighed and rubbed his head with a tan hand, wishing that Black Mage had never done such an idiotic thing to their best aggressor. Their defenses were completely weakened now that Fighter was unable to actually fight back. While Red Mage tried some sort of strategy to effectively heal the wound, they heard a sound melt into the atmosphere, an eerie sound that simply oozed with a sinister intent.
"Just as I thought..."
Black Mage glanced around warily with Thief, and Red Mage threw his gaze over his shoulder to see a black figure emerge from the foliage. From the other side of the camp did one in armor appear. Surfacing from the darkness came a bulky one to their left, and an unusually pale one to their right. Drizz'l grinned triumphantly as he watched Fighter still bleeding on the ground, his golden eyes locked with Fighter's as he watched the warrior's expression of pain turn to shock, regret, then absolute horror.

[DarkCORN!]

What is that story? Which story is it?

[Seran]

That was from the interactive story. The last update was by me, way back in...uh...page 10.
T3h last update of the interactive Dark Warriors story.

[Quickman X]

Waaaait.... Regardin' the DW story... where... is...
...MISTER FUZZY DOOMBRINGER?! He must appear once more, and in so doing save the world.
...'cause he PWNS.

[Seran]

Maybe after the battle. After all the blood and predicted foreboding and misfortune of the Light Warriors leaving their weapons in their tents and having their defenses disabled since Fighter was undoubtedly unable to battle and they will most likely face a casualty -- yes, I'm that mean, uwahaha -- while I listen to One-Winged Angel from Advent Children thus inspiring me to dig deeper into the description of the gore.

Then I'll sometime find a way to get back some effort for Black Mage's nightmare.

[Quickman X]

Originally Posted by Seran

Maybe after the battle. After all the blood and predicted foreboding and misfortune of the Light Warriors leaving their weapons in their tents and having their defenses disabled since Fighter was undoubtedly unable to battle and they will most likely face a casualty -- yes, I'm that mean, uwahaha -- while I listen to One-Winged Angel from Advent Children thus inspiring me to dig deeper into the description of the gore.

Then I'll sometime find a way to get back some effort for Black Mage's nightmare.

...c-casualties? As in... y'know... people dying?
*clears throat, half because of the flu and half to prove a point*
Ahem...
NOOOOOOOOOOO(ad nauseum)~! DON'T KILL 'EM, SERAN! PLEASE, NO!
Alright, all done.

::edit:: Say, doesn't Fighter usually heal much faster than this?
::bastard child of edit:: This would be a nice time for him to realize he has white magic...

[DarkCORN!]

Continue the story or be destroyed, Seran.

[CelebrenIthil]

....in short, I hate being so busy I can't even go on the forums like I would like.
But I've taken a bit on the lost time and read everything that was posted here since my last visit. (page 11)
I can't take as much time as I would like since I've got to continue working on my contest entry but I wanted to tell everyone that has written that you do really good job! It is really interesting, tought it gets a bit confusing since everyone share the same thread.
I can't wait to see the follow-ups of all your stuff!

And I want to tell Seran I'm sorry she had lost a chapter of BM's nightmare, things like that have already happened to me and it's so deadly frustrating...

Kisses to you all, and with that, I'm gone to look at all I've missed on the fanart thread!

[Robert Paulson]

Part two of the semi-new adventures of the Light Warriors.

The four adventurers had been walking down the worn-out path for hours. For the longest time, they were surrounded by vast plains. Now the path lead into a dense forest. BlackMage observed, "Oh great. Another forest? How many more of these stupid things are there?" Fighter answered, "The reason is that we, as a society, haven't had a large need to burn forests down, explaining as to why there are so many forests these days." RedMage added, "Also, think about it. What epic journey would be complete without a stroll through a forest? Any good roleplaying module features a forested setting." BlackMage ignored them, thinking evil thoughts instead. The Warriors were now in the forest, a forest so thick with foliage, it blocked out the sunlight. Fighter noticed, "Hey, where's Thief and RedMage?" Thief was already high up in the tree branches, jumping from tree to tree, with RedMage mimicking him. After pulling off a few more acrobatic maneuvers, Thief saw something on the ground. He stopped and watched. He saw a number of human-esque creatures that resembled bi-pedal cats, with fur of a light shade of brown. The creatures were dancing, and chanting in a squeaky voice, "Kupo!" RedMage recognized them immediately, "Moogles! So they are real." Thief asked, "Would these things happen to have anything of value?" RedMage responded, "Not likely, except maybe a few elixirs. And perhaps a rare armor-" Thief interrupted, "I'll investigate just to make sure. Be sure to keep an eye out." Thief jumped away. RedMage was too slow to react. He shouted, "Wait! I can't get down without miming you!" He paused, and said to himself, "Think, RedMage, think. What would Vermillion Wizard do?"

Fighter was telling BlackMage as they were exploring the forest, "I just remembered. Sometimes, those, things, live, in forests. BlackMage, if we encounter spiders, you're gonna have to fight them off for me. I just don't have it in me to square off against those, things," He shuddered, just thinking about the spiders. BlackMage wasn't listening, but instead was noticing something. He spotted what looked like cat-like creatures dancing and frolicing. Fighter observed, "Hey BlackMage! Look at those things! Aren't they the cutest? I wander if they wanna play with us!" Fighter ran off, but he spooked the moogles in doing so. He said, "Ah, darn. I must've scared them. But all I wanted was to play. Maybe I'll try finding some more!" Fighter ran off again, this time out of BlackMage's sight. Just then, a single moogle approached BlackMage. BlackMage told, "Go away. I have a tendency to incinerate the jolly." "Kupo?" BlackMage looked at the moogle, and he started thinking, look at him. He thinks he's so cute, what with his doll-like looks and his high-pitched cry. He hated seeing things that made people say, "Aww, isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever seen?" It sickened him. It sickened him, to the core. He changed his expression, and started to say the following, "Hey there, little guy, I got a present for you." "Kupo!" "But I can't present my gift by traditional means. You can only take it in one place," "Kupo?" "And that place is," BlackMage narrowed his eyes, and yelled out loud, "INNA NERTS!" He dashed with all of his strength, and performed the first blue magic spell he mastered on the moogle; a swift goblin kick that sent the moogle flying far out of the forest. BlackMage, feeling a rush of adrenaline, began scouring the forest. He came across more moogles. With his unparalleled wrath fueling him, he started shooting out lightning bolts from one hand, and fireballs out of the other. Everywhere he went, he killed every moogle that crossed his sight, and when there were no moogles to kill, he would shoot fire onto the trees. The fury that is BlackMage had made itself manifest in the forest: dead moogles, a furious firestorm consuming the old-as-time trees, and a blue mage in the center, cackling with an inhumane glee. He boasted, "If no one else is gonna destroy these damned forests, then it looks like I have to!" He began charging up a much more potent black magic spell, but before he could cast it, an earthquake ruptured through the forest. A crack in the earth formed beneath BlackMage, and he fell into the chasm.

RedMage was still high up in the trees when the fire started. Smoke was obscuring his vision, and obstructing his breathing. He tried to say out loud, "Fire, burning trees, *cough* smoke, causing poison status, *cough* me, still high up." He coughed once more. He then said, "I can only hope, *cough* that the damage die rolls a low, *cough* number." He jumped off, bracing his body for impact. He landed, was somewhat bruised, but still okay. At that moment, Fighter appeared. The sword fanatic told, "RedMage, what's going on? One moment, I was playing hide-and-seek with some animals, and then the next moment, the whole place is on fire." Thief jumped in from out of nowhere. He said to the group, "I couldn't find anything of value, except for a moogle suit strangely enough, but where did this fire come from?" RedMage replied, "It's obvious. A force, so malicious, so uncaring, so devastating to the world, is sweeping through here as I speak. A force of evil like that of which mere mortals have never beared witness to until now is responsible for what we are seeing." Fighter noted, "Hey, where's BlackMage? Oh no! He must still be lost in the forest! We've got to find him!"

BlackMage was now in the chasm. Many of his bones were fractured, and he couldn't move. Light from the fire above ground was shining onto his broken body, but everywhere around him was pitch black. Before he could get his wits together, something from the shadows casted a spell that quickly absorbed what remained of BlackMage's mana. A voice called out, a voice like that of those cat-like things, but it was speaking words, "Why did you murder my friends?" BlackMage was caught off guard. He didn't feel his wicked magic flowing through him, and a stranger was interrogating him, in his state. He was frightened, but he maintained his personality, "Those abominations of cuddliness are your friends?" The high-pitched voice answered, "I am one of those abominations of cuddliness. I'll ask you one last time, why did you murder my friends?" BlackMage replied, "I'd gladly answer if I knew who I was talking who. Just who are you?" The figure stepped into the light, close to BlackMage. It was indeed one of those things, but unlike the things on the surface that sported a golden brown fur color, this thing's fur was pale as snow. He coldly intoned, "Let's just say I'm the most slam-dancing moogle around these parts."

To be continued . . .