The blood of the gods runs through you! Well, one god anyways. - Page 13

Grimpond · 07-23-2010, 08:35 PM

Oh hey lookit that it's a new page.

Thadius · 07-23-2010, 09:05 PM

My very computer seems to have evolved sentience and is fighting my making an update. I am countering with liberal amounts of persistence, ice cream, and soda. ~~God~~ Murphy willing, I will have this update delivered unto the people tonight.

RobinStarwing · 07-23-2010, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thadius

My very computer seems to have evolved sentience and is fighting my making an update. I am countering with liberal amounts of persistence, ice cream, and soda. ~~God~~ Murphy willing, I will have this update delivered unto the people tonight.

I sense it! The Murphy is with you!

EVILNess · 07-23-2010, 09:32 PM

Be aware, pouring Ice cream and soda on a computer is apt to make it more rebellious.

Grimpond · 07-23-2010, 09:47 PM

THe only feasible solution is to ===>ice cream || Soda. And down THat in one gulp

Loyal · 07-23-2010, 10:06 PM

So you want him to make a root beer float.

It's okay, you can say "root beer float".

Grimpond · 07-23-2010, 10:12 PM

rooooooot beeeeeeeeeeeeer flooooooooooooooooooooooat

Thadius · 07-24-2010, 12:01 AM

And now for the secret exit to the mines!

Not so secre- is that a slime?

Technically I think it's just an ooze of some sort.

Oh great it has a friend. Just what we needed.

Anyway the exit is right here. It's sorta tricky in that you wouldn't think it was an exit, what with the lack of proper lighting and all.

Fresh air! Finally! Wait, where are we?

Let me check my map.

This...tells me nothing. Let me check my other map.

Huh. You're north-east of the mines and south-east of that gawdawful tower. Wait, I'm recalling something about danger...

Oh bloody hell.

Fuck this battle. Fuck it hard with a poleaxe. It is designed so that if you are leaving the mines via the secret way and just want to get OUT OF THERE, these people will find you and kill you. And considering all the hell we went through just to get here we are low on supplies and patience.

I only count three bodies. I was fairly sure there were four of them. Mary what did you do to the fourth one?

The same thing I did to the second and third one, ordered everyone else to kill them. The first one, however, helped me field-test the awesomeness of the wand of ice.

That's...brutally efficient. I think I'm rubbing off on you too much.

Commencing retest of the wand of ice.

Mary, really. You can't freeze all your problems. You'll get no loot that way.

Graves! Bodies! A return to actual necromancy!

Mary that seems a little evil even for me.

Oh hush. All Lawful/Good necromancers take a vow to return the bodies to the state they found them in once their experiments are complete.

Unlike the guy who was here beforehand, apparently.

Man the evil necromancers abound today, placing curses and hexes on all the bodies.

She's quite persistent in the destruction of the undead isn't she?

It looks like everyone on this team has some sort of problem.

Yours seems to be laughing manically whenever you find a new toy.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Wait why didn't we give the dagger to him in the first place and save ourselves some trouble?

Iiiiiiiimoen kinda sorta claimed it. Now let's poke around south.

Welcome to the area east of the mines. It's actually very peaceful here. I don't think there's anything that can kill us here. I mean, there are things that will try, but they won't succeed. We're here for three things.

Confession is good for the soul and conscience and all but he wasn't a priest at all. Why did I talk to him?

Un.

Loot this will you?

Ye gods how many things does Kahlid need?

Duex.

Trois.

This is a speed mission. The use of getting the fuck out of here is required. Problem is if you mess around too long, he dies. And I'm not sure you're ever notified of that fact.

Look at that. Look at the insane amount of time that we managed to keep a wounded man alive while we were running all the way here, non stop. It boggles the mind.

Jaheria can barely manage to keep US patched up on a regular basis, much less a man near death.

Of course, all problems are solved at the Friendly Arm Inn. Even dying. Or lack of rest. Hey go rent a room.

Freaky dreeeeeeam seeeeequence...

Child, it is beginning to worry me how quickly you are beginning to develop these powers. And also how.

Hey if I ASKED for them I would be laughing. I'm worried just the same as you are.

On the road again...

This is south of Ulcaster. There are a few semi-important things to do while we're here.

It seems even the half-ogres have taken to banditry lately. One group of them later...

...Minsc has a new toy.

Is difficult to choose between swords and magic sometimes. But when you have a sword that is magic, is not difficult at all!

Just because you have a name doesn't mean you won't die just like the rest.

I never knew xvarts were cattle hustlers. Man someone should draw that.

Maybe they were just hungry?

Ogres. Minsc loved testing his new sword against them.

I never knew murder was so profitable.

Murder? That would be if you were...huh. You've done that too. Still, these are ogres. It's more like putting down the criminally insane.

Welcome to Ulcaster. This is the home of our first optional dungeon. Naturally we'll do it too. But first, a small matter.

One of these hobgoblin corpses has something it shouldn't have.

Namely a set of boots for Imoen to use that we DON'T have to give away!

Plot hook activated! Let the pain begin.

Welcome to the dungeon of Ulcaster. Y'know I have to wonder, who designed this place?

I mean you've got your giant spider room. Who would make that a feature of dungeons at all? Hell how do you do it without getting eaten yourself? (Oooh, new level. We'll be making use of that probably very soon.)

And then you've got your red wolf room...

Right next to your grey wolf room. How do you stop the infighting? Sheesh this dungeon was not planned out at all.

I mean seriously. A trap next to a corpse? Even Imoen could spot that one!

Ah now this I can respect. Apparently the vampire wolf had himself a few victims.

I'm gonna touch it.

No wait I haven't checked it over!

Fireball! Owwwww...Oh hey a healing potion. Good thing too because now I need one.

Hey where are they going?

They said something about making sure the dungeon was cleansed.

Oh giant animate piles of jello, what dungeon crawl won't you make horrible for this underleveled party? Hey Mary, what would you say was the best part of this crawl?

I'm gonna have to go with a wand that shoots fire. Dynaheir would you like this wand of magic missiles?

Yes but I would prefer the wand of fire.

Funny, so would I. Listen, next one we get is yours, okay? Promise.

And now the wraith can move on! Well that was a learning experience. And nobody got seriously hurt.

Whelp as you lot can see we've got really only two choices now: Loot and Plot. Oh and someone fetch GC, he'll see I'm ready to do the damn Anehkegs now.

That sounds slightly ominous.

It should, Mary. It should.

RobinStarwing · 07-24-2010, 12:14 AM

I will tell you what you told me so long ago in one word...

LOOT!!!!!

tacticslion · 07-24-2010, 12:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RobinStarwing

LOOT!!!!!

Seconded! Perhaps preceded by gaining your reward for a dungeon well-cleansed?

07-23-2010, 09:05 PM	#122
Thadius BEARD IMPACT Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: MANLY ANGER Posts: 1,977	My very computer seems to have evolved sentience and is fighting my making an update. I am countering with liberal amounts of persistence, ice cream, and soda. ~~God~~ Murphy willing, I will have this update delivered unto the people tonight. __________________ ANGER HAS NEVER BEEN MORE MANLY THAN THIS.

07-24-2010, 12:01 AM	#128
Thadius BEARD IMPACT Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: MANLY ANGER Posts: 1,977	Secret exits are full of paaaaain. And now for the secret exit to the mines! Not so secre- is that a slime? Technically I think it's just an ooze of some sort. Oh great it has a friend. Just what we needed. Anyway the exit is right here. It's sorta tricky in that you wouldn't think it was an exit, what with the lack of proper lighting and all. Fresh air! Finally! Wait, where are we? Let me check my map. This...tells me nothing. Let me check my other map. Huh. You're north-east of the mines and south-east of that gawdawful tower. Wait, I'm recalling something about danger... Oh bloody hell. Fuck this battle. Fuck it hard with a poleaxe. It is designed so that if you are leaving the mines via the secret way and just want to get OUT OF THERE, these people will find you and kill you. And considering all the hell we went through just to get here we are low on supplies and patience. I only count three bodies. I was fairly sure there were four of them. Mary what did you do to the fourth one? The same thing I did to the second and third one, ordered everyone else to kill them. The first one, however, helped me field-test the awesomeness of the wand of ice. That's...brutally efficient. I think I'm rubbing off on you too much. Commencing retest of the wand of ice. Mary, really. You can't freeze all your problems. You'll get no loot that way. Graves! Bodies! A return to actual necromancy! Mary that seems a little evil even for me. Oh hush. All Lawful/Good necromancers take a vow to return the bodies to the state they found them in once their experiments are complete. Unlike the guy who was here beforehand, apparently. Man the evil necromancers abound today, placing curses and hexes on all the bodies. She's quite persistent in the destruction of the undead isn't she? It looks like everyone on this team has some sort of problem. Yours seems to be laughing manically whenever you find a new toy. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Wait why didn't we give the dagger to him in the first place and save ourselves some trouble? Iiiiiiiimoen kinda sorta claimed it. Now let's poke around south. Welcome to the area east of the mines. It's actually very peaceful here. I don't think there's anything that can kill us here. I mean, there are things that will try, but they won't succeed. We're here for three things. Confession is good for the soul and conscience and all but he wasn't a priest at all. Why did I talk to him? Un. Loot this will you? Ye gods how many things does Kahlid need? Duex. Trois. This is a speed mission. The use of getting the fuck out of here is required. Problem is if you mess around too long, he dies. And I'm not sure you're ever notified of that fact. Look at that. Look at the insane amount of time that we managed to keep a wounded man alive while we were running all the way here, non stop. It boggles the mind. Jaheria can barely manage to keep US patched up on a regular basis, much less a man near death. Of course, all problems are solved at the Friendly Arm Inn. Even dying. Or lack of rest. Hey go rent a room. Freaky dreeeeeeam seeeeequence... Child, it is beginning to worry me how quickly you are beginning to develop these powers. And also how. Hey if I ASKED for them I would be laughing. I'm worried just the same as you are. On the road again... This is south of Ulcaster. There are a few semi-important things to do while we're here. It seems even the half-ogres have taken to banditry lately. One group of them later... ...Minsc has a new toy. Is difficult to choose between swords and magic sometimes. But when you have a sword that is magic, is not difficult at all! Just because you have a name doesn't mean you won't die just like the rest. I never knew xvarts were cattle hustlers. Man someone should draw that. Maybe they were just hungry? Ogres. Minsc loved testing his new sword against them. I never knew murder was so profitable. Murder? That would be if you were...huh. You've done that too. Still, these are ogres. It's more like putting down the criminally insane. Welcome to Ulcaster. This is the home of our first optional dungeon. Naturally we'll do it too. But first, a small matter. One of these hobgoblin corpses has something it shouldn't have. Namely a set of boots for Imoen to use that we DON'T have to give away! Plot hook activated! Let the pain begin. Welcome to the dungeon of Ulcaster. Y'know I have to wonder, who designed this place? I mean you've got your giant spider room. Who would make that a feature of dungeons at all? Hell how do you do it without getting eaten yourself? (Oooh, new level. We'll be making use of that probably very soon.) And then you've got your red wolf room... Right next to your grey wolf room. How do you stop the infighting? Sheesh this dungeon was not planned out at all. I mean seriously. A trap next to a corpse? Even Imoen could spot that one! Ah now this I can respect. Apparently the vampire wolf had himself a few victims. I'm gonna touch it. No wait I haven't checked it over! Fireball! Owwwww...Oh hey a healing potion. Good thing too because now I need one. Hey where are they going? They said something about making sure the dungeon was cleansed. Oh giant animate piles of jello, what dungeon crawl won't you make horrible for this underleveled party? Hey Mary, what would you say was the best part of this crawl? I'm gonna have to go with a wand that shoots fire. Dynaheir would you like this wand of magic missiles? Yes but I would prefer the wand of fire. Funny, so would I. Listen, next one we get is yours, okay? Promise. And now the wraith can move on! Well that was a learning experience. And nobody got seriously hurt. Whelp as you lot can see we've got really only two choices now: Loot and Plot. Oh and someone fetch GC, he'll see I'm ready to do the damn Anehkegs now. That sounds slightly ominous. It should, Mary. It should. __________________ ANGER HAS NEVER BEEN MORE MANLY THAN THIS. Last edited by Thadius; 07-24-2010 at 01:04 PM.

07-24-2010, 12:14 AM	#129
RobinStarwing C.M.B.A.S.O.B Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Everywhere until you look at me. Posts: 737	I will tell you what you told me so long ago in one word... LOOT!!!!! __________________ *NPF's resident Crazy Magnificent Bastard Ass Son Of A Bitch (CMBASOB)* Accept No Substitutes Also known as "The Least Interesting Man in The World" according to multiple surveys