character VERSUS character VERSUS another character VERSUS your mother - Page 142

secretskull · 11-29-2008, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by POS Industries

Well, Mulan could have used all those weapons, except for the problem of:

Quote:

Originally Posted by POS Industries

only available objects on the scene may be used as weapons

Pffft, lame. Weapons are what make it fun. It could always be a gladiatoral arena of some sort, with weapons hanging around. That would work.

russianreversal · 11-29-2008, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by POS Industries

Well, Mulan could have used all those weapons, except...

Nonetheless, Mulan is still a very good improvisational fighter (fan, anyone?). It comes down to Jasmine's (impressive) acrobatic ability vs mulan's already established fighting skill. I just don't see Jasmine coming through, and I don't think she has nearly the endurance that Mulan does.
Also:

Quote:

Originally Posted by POS Industries

Furthermore, Mulan's musical status was even used in a training montage, which always leads to inevitable victory at the end.

Well, okay, maybe not inevitable as it didn't really help Rocky, but his purpose wasn't to win so much as go the distance or whatever.

The more montages the better. Rocky IV was basically montages interrupted by the occasional dialogue and at the end of it he had the Russians cheering for him. Let this be a lesson to all you wannabe fighters out there: never underestimate the power of song, especially in the Disney world.

Krylo · 11-29-2008, 08:00 PM

Mulan wins every fight. Even the ones she isn't in.

For a full break down, though.

ROUND 1: JASMINE VERSUS BELLE!

FIGHT!

Belle throws the fight. She either purposefully disqualifies herself by having beast enter the fray, or fakes death at the first punch. Reason? This is a death match, and she's the smartest Disney Princess. Maybe not the cleverest or most resourceful (that goes to either Jasmine or Mulan), but certainly the smartest. And, being the smartest, she'd know that even IF she beat Jasmine, she'd eventually be up against the kung fu super soldier, and this is a deathmatch. The only intelligent thing to do is to go down in the first round.

ROUND 2: Aurora versus Cinderella!

FIGHT!

Aurora falls asleep on the job, Cinderella wins.

ROUND 3: Snow White versus Ariel!

FIGHT!

Snow White has spent all her time polishing off seven dwarves and getting poisoned. Ariel has spent all her time battling giant sea witches and sharks. Snow White's only real chance is if the dwarves don't want to lose their whore, and step in. 'course, that just means she gets disqualified instead of killed. Ariel wins.

Round 4: Mulan versus Pocahontas!

FIGHT!

Mulan is a kung fu super soldier. Pocahontas enjoys playing with small furry animals. Mulan wins.

Round 5: Jasmine versus Cinderella!

FIGHT!

Jasmine is nearly as good as Aladdin at kicking ass. I'm sorry Cinderelly, but unless Mister Miyagi taught you how to scrub the floor, you're right fucked. Jasmine wins.

Round 6: Mulan versus Ariel

Fight!

This would be a semi-close fight if it was in the water, but it's not. Ariel is out of her natural environment and she didn't have a training montage including martial arts. Mulan wins.

Round 7: Mulan versus Jasmine

FIGHT!

This is a pretty close fight, honestly, but Mulan has shown herself to be just as resourceful as Jasmine, and she has more actual classical training and more real life or death combat experience against other actual people. Have to give this one to Mulan, but she probably doesn't escape unscathed.

MULAN WINS!

FATALITY!

Fifthfiend · 11-29-2008, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Belle throws the fight. She either purposefully disqualifies herself by having beast enter the fray, or fakes death at the first punch. Reason? This is a death match, and she's the smartest Disney Princess. Maybe not the cleverest or most resourceful (that goes to either Jasmine or Mulan), but certainly the smartest. And, being the smartest, she'd know that even IF she beat Jasmine, she'd eventually be up against the kung fu super soldier, and this is a deathmatch. The only intelligent thing to do is to go down in the first round.

This is a good point. Belle's bound to have the sort of reasoned, philosophically developed cowardice that can only be instilled by hours upon hours of dedicated book-learnin'.

Also it occurs to me we're leaving out one really important competitor here:

Nala, bitches!

I mean she's got at least as much excuse as Pocahontas (with the bonus of her movie was actually good).

Solid Snake · 11-29-2008, 08:10 PM

I'd find a Disney Heroes tournament more fun to predict then the heroines (unless you were judging the women on their appearances in some animated-beauty contest, which could be a fun diversion.)

But seriously, I'd have a harder time predicting, for example, Aladdin VS Beast. Sure Beast is a walking tank, but Aladdin can evade and run circles around Beast. Who wins? Who loses? Then, throw Hercules, Simba, John Smith, and all those annoying Princes into the mix. Actually, we should have a rule where, if a supporting character is more badass than the hero from the movie, the supporting character supplants him. Who wants Prince Loserface from Little Mermaid when King Triton can step in?

Disney Villains could be fun, too. Who wins: Jafar VS Ursula?

EDIT: You can even do entire cast brawls, where, for example, the entire cast of Aladdin fights against the entire cast of Beauty and the Beast.

You know the real problem though is that I'm so biased in favor of the characters from movies that were actually good. Like you can pit Iago against the entire cast of Pocahontas and I'd find some really cheap way to ensure that Iago would win just because I love Aladdin (the movie) and hate Pocahontas (the movie.)

BitVyper · 11-29-2008, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Belle's bound to have the sort of reasoned, philosophically developed cowardice that can only be instilled by hours upon hours of dedicated book-learnin'.

Vizzini sure thought so. Didn't turn out so well for him.

Sorry, but when I see a potential Princess Bride reference, I really can't leave it alone.

POS Industries · 11-29-2008, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fifthfiend

Nala, bitches!

I mean she's got at least as much excuse as Pocahontas (with the bonus of her movie was actually good).

I'm now strongly considering an opt-in bracket for Nala vs. EVE.

Mostly because it makes me giggle.

TDK · 11-29-2008, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solid Snake

I'd find a Disney Heroes tournament more fun to predict then the heroines (unless you were judging the women on their appearances in some animated-beauty contest, which could be a fun diversion.)

But seriously, I'd have a harder time predicting, for example, Aladdin VS Beast. Sure Beast is a walking tank, but Aladdin can evade and run circles around Beast. Who wins? Who loses? Then, throw Hercules, Simba, John Smith, and all those annoying Princes into the mix. Actually, we should have a rule where, if a supporting character is more badass than the hero from the movie, the supporting character supplants him. Who wants Prince Loserface from Little Mermaid when King Triton can step in?

Disney Villains could be fun, too. Who wins: Jafar VS Ursula?

You make it all sound too much like Kingdom Hearts.

Fifthfiend · 11-29-2008, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by POS Industries

I'm now strongly considering an opt-in bracket for Nala vs. EVE.

Mostly because it makes me giggle.

Weirdly I'm not actually sure that Eve makes sense for the setting. Mainly because 1. you're crossing over into Pixar territory which is really its own separate aesthetic, and 2. your average Disney character isn't going to bat an eye at a talking lioness (not next to the talking mice, cussing parrots, and reggae-orchestra-conducting sea crabs), but a robot? They'll just freak right out.

bluestarultor · 11-29-2008, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fifthfiend

Weirdly I'm not actually sure that Eve makes sense for the setting. Mainly because 1. you're crossing over into Pixar territory which is really its own separate aesthetic, and 2. your average Disney character isn't going to bat an eye at a talking lioness (not next to the talking mice, cussing parrots, and reggae-orchestra-conducting sea crabs), but a robot? They'll just freak right out.

I think we're forgetting that animals only usually talk in settings generally devoid of humans, with the exception of Tarzan, who was a guy raised by animals and is on the animals' side. It's the same way that Ariel is actually a half-fish who gets a thing for a not-half-fish and just happens to speak his language because of her not-fish half. The humans don't actually communicate with the animals.

Overall, though, I think that Nala would be a cheap addition what with a giant mass and hunting to live and animal strength and, like, razor-sharp claws and teeth. I think it's frankly a stretch to consider Mulan a Disney "princess" due to the fact not even so much she wasn't actually royalty, but that she went so far as to pose as a guy, which is something that no other Disney female has been un-effeminate enough to do. She pretty much wins hands-down if you ignore the Aladdin TV series with Jasmine being un-sissified, but they did the same thing with Ariel to an extent in her TV show, so I'm not going to say it should get tossed. Overall, though, barring Mulan, I'd say Jasmine would be next winner in line.

Just no Nala.

11-29-2008, 08:00 PM	#1413
Krylo The Straightest Shota Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: It's a secret to everybody. Posts: 17,789	Mulan wins every fight. Even the ones she isn't in. For a full break down, though. ROUND 1: JASMINE VERSUS BELLE! FIGHT! Belle throws the fight. She either purposefully disqualifies herself by having beast enter the fray, or fakes death at the first punch. Reason? This is a death match, and she's the smartest Disney Princess. Maybe not the cleverest or most resourceful (that goes to either Jasmine or Mulan), but certainly the smartest. And, being the smartest, she'd know that even IF she beat Jasmine, she'd eventually be up against the kung fu super soldier, and this is a deathmatch. The only intelligent thing to do is to go down in the first round. ROUND 2: Aurora versus Cinderella! FIGHT! Aurora falls asleep on the job, Cinderella wins. ROUND 3: Snow White versus Ariel! FIGHT! Snow White has spent all her time polishing off seven dwarves and getting poisoned. Ariel has spent all her time battling giant sea witches and sharks. Snow White's only real chance is if the dwarves don't want to lose their whore, and step in. 'course, that just means she gets disqualified instead of killed. Ariel wins. Round 4: Mulan versus Pocahontas! FIGHT! Mulan is a kung fu super soldier. Pocahontas enjoys playing with small furry animals. Mulan wins. Round 5: Jasmine versus Cinderella! FIGHT! Jasmine is nearly as good as Aladdin at kicking ass. I'm sorry Cinderelly, but unless Mister Miyagi taught you how to scrub the floor, you're right fucked. Jasmine wins. Round 6: Mulan versus Ariel Fight! This would be a semi-close fight if it was in the water, but it's not. Ariel is out of her natural environment and she didn't have a training montage including martial arts. Mulan wins. Round 7: Mulan versus Jasmine FIGHT! This is a pretty close fight, honestly, but Mulan has shown herself to be just as resourceful as Jasmine, and she has more actual classical training and more real life or death combat experience against other actual people. Have to give this one to Mulan, but she probably doesn't escape unscathed. MULAN WINS! FATALITY! __________________ I am very tired.

11-29-2008, 08:10 PM	#1415
Solid Snake Erotic Esquire Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 5,563	I'd find a Disney Heroes tournament more fun to predict then the heroines (unless you were judging the women on their appearances in some animated-beauty contest, which could be a fun diversion.) But seriously, I'd have a harder time predicting, for example, Aladdin VS Beast. Sure Beast is a walking tank, but Aladdin can evade and run circles around Beast. Who wins? Who loses? Then, throw Hercules, Simba, John Smith, and all those annoying Princes into the mix. Actually, we should have a rule where, if a supporting character is more badass than the hero from the movie, the supporting character supplants him. Who wants Prince Loserface from Little Mermaid when King Triton can step in? Disney Villains could be fun, too. Who wins: Jafar VS Ursula? EDIT: You can even do entire cast brawls, where, for example, the entire cast of Aladdin fights against the entire cast of Beauty and the Beast. You know the real problem though is that I'm so biased in favor of the characters from movies that were actually good. Like you can pit Iago against the entire cast of Pocahontas and I'd find some really cheap way to ensure that Iago would win just because I love Aladdin (the movie) and hate Pocahontas (the movie.) __________________ *WARNING:* Snek's all up in this thread. Be prepared to read massive walls of text. Last edited by Solid Snake; 11-29-2008 at 08:18 PM.