"Tooth Fairy"

[Magus]

Originally Posted by Aerozord

Nothing right with kids movies

Fixed.

I hated kids movies when I was a kid, the only market they really appeal to is parents who can pretend they're treating their kids to some wholesome fare and that they aren't, in fact, slowly torturing them with needles as is the real feeling I used to get from most kids movies.

The only good kids movies have been movies which by and large designed themselves in such a way that anyone of any age can enjoy them. Anything blatantly marketed to kids like Tooth Fairy or The Pacifier end up being horrible for the kids as well as anyone else who even comes into mild contact with them (I saw the Pacifier because it has Vin Diesel and the person I was with just had to see her some Vin Diesel).

Really there are only good movies and bad movies. There is no such thing as a "good" kids movie because objectively it is usually bad, and if it's not objectively bad, then adults will probably enjoy it and its not even a kids movie anymore. Basically the only thing that is really a kids movie is something that only someone of low intelligence (a kid) can enjoy, and therefore there's not a lot of merit in them. Actually it's perhaps not a matter of lower intelligence but a case of lower expectations: kids are more easily entertained, and when they don't fit the mold of the common child (I didn't), they feel patronized, and parents just feel annoyed.

There's a new kids movie coming out that looks horrible called The Spy Next Door starring Jackie Chan. Its not really a kids movie because it's marketed towards kids (after all, it involves kung fu and spies, technically an adult can enjoy those concepts), but because its plot and delivery look retarded, thus we foist it off on the only people capable of enjoying it, kids (stupid kids). I'd much rather have kids movie come to be something which in some way is a movie that kids should watch, because it enriches their lives in some way or has some greater theme they can relate to, rather than a movie that kids "can" watch, i.e. someone decided to dumb everything down so the kids can "enjoy" it, rather than making a film and letting people decide if kids are capable of enjoying it. No one in their right mind set out in the creation of Tooth Fairy with the goal of teaching kids anything, they set out in the creation of Tooth Fairy with the goal of creating a film which can be marketed towards children. Whereas I think other film makers like those who made The Neverending Story or The Lion King or A Christmas Story set out to create some sort of theme or message and in the end the film could be watched by children based on our society's oft ridiculous taboos about what is appropriate/not appropriate for them to watch.

EDIT: Overlooking the obvious definition of "kids movie" as something rated G or PG. There are plenty of good PG movies that didn't feel idiotic for their lack of swearing or overt violence. But there are lots that are just plain bad because people confused removing taboo elements with removing complexity and meritorious plot or character development.

[Nique]

My mom won't let me watch 'Tooth Fairy' becuase fairies are magic and magic are from the devil.

[The Sevenshot Kid]

I always knew The Rock was a fairy.

[Nique]

What you say?

[Aerozord]

Originally Posted by Nique

My mom won't let me watch 'Tooth Fairy' becuase fairies are magic and magic are from the devil.

thats wrong

faeries are evil because they are horrid corrupting entities that would wisk away children to torment until they became bored and left them as broken husks most likely to end up as a wolfs dinner

[Loyal]

Originally Posted by Nique

My mom won't let me watch 'Tooth Fairy' becuase fairies are magic and magic are from the devil.

Your mom sure seems to know a lot about evil... I think we should keep an eye on her.

[Magus]

Faerie folk are more like Tolkein elves in actual mythology, right? And pixies more like the little fairies with wings? Or something.

Also the Tooth Fairy never made any sense and unlike every other childhood mythology like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny has never been explained adequately by some Hollywood writers' crack fantasy so in a way Tooth Fairy starring the Rock is going to fill in a lot of gaps that were in much need of being filled. Actually it's never been adequately explained why the fuck a bunny delivers eggs, not even in one of those things where you find out Easter is actually a totally pagan holiday that was probably in conjunction with some totally evil things like having sex with virgins during the spring equinox or something. It's not like anybody would ever want to have sex with virgins, amirite?

So this movie should in some way help to explain exactly what Norse god the Tooth Fairy is the avatar of and in what way losing teeth is an allegory for having sex with virgins, although I guess the virgins are definitely losing something in this scenario. Also they are losing it to the Rock, the Tooth Fairy, an obvious allegory for coitus. Man, this movie has so many dimensions, what a modern masterpiece.