That mofo's got, like, a million archers! - Page 2

Krylo · 08-29-2004, 12:22 AM

One scene of that will ruin the movie all by itself. You could have the best plot in the world. The best ground fight scenes ever. The most wonderful dramatic plots... and in the end, having that cheesy crap will make it feel like I'm watching a bad seventies sci-fi... only without all the other cheesiness that makes it funny.

Crodevillian Team · 08-29-2004, 12:34 AM

Oh, please! ;-)

That type of wire work is such a staple of Chinese kung-fu cinema that removing it would be like taking the whine out of Strong Sad, the mischief out of I Love Lucy and the nudity out of American teen flicks. It's part of the culture my friend!

Here, think of it as dancing! When you learn to appreciate the grace and finesse with which the Chinese actors float around on these wires, you can begin to see the beauty behind it. In fact, you could even learn to love it! It's aero-ballet!

That said, I'm planning on seeing Hero as soon as I can find a theater that isn't sold out!

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So far, I think Tarantino's only good movie was Pulp Fiction.

Tarantino did not direct this film. It's a Chinese film, directed by Yimou Zhang. It was released in Asia years ago, but Miramax has foolishly let the American release languish on the shelves. It should have been released earlier.

Krylo · 08-29-2004, 12:44 AM

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That type of wire work is such a staple of Chinese kung-fu cinema

Explain 'Drunken Master', 'The Mask', That movie where Jet Li had a brother and they took on the emperor together (can't remember the name for the life of me)... or thousands of other chinese kung-fu flicks.

Besides, clay-mation was a staple of american fantasy movies. They dropped that once non-sucky techniques emerged.

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the nudity out of American teen flicks.

Not another teen movie. Jason goes to hell (if there was nudity it was so brief I didn't notice it). 10 Things I hate About You. The Breakfast Club. Pretty in Pink. I suck at movie names... but I think you get the point.

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It's part of the culture my friend!

No more than bullet time is a part of american culture...

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Here, think of it as dancing! When you learn to appreciate the grace and finesse with which the Chinese actors float around on these wires, you can begin to see the beauty behind it. In fact, you could even learn to love it!

If by grace and finesse you mean floating around in a manner no more skilled than I've seen kids do on nickolodean while in body harnesses for some of their game shows, then I'd have to agree... other than that I still hate it.

Crodevillian Team · 08-29-2004, 01:02 AM

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Explain 'Drunken Master', 'The Mask', That movie where Jet Li had a brother and they took on the emperor together (can't remember the name for the life of me)... or thousands of other chinese kung-fu flicks.

Zu: Warriors of the Magic Mountain, Duel to the Death, Once Upon a Time in China, A Chinese Ghost Story, Legend of the Swordsman, The East is Red, Dragon Inn, Fung Sai Yuk, The Bride With White Hair, Twin Warriors, Wing Chun, A Chinese Odyssey, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Hero.

I know, I know. Bruce Lee hated wires! It suspends belief! It's unbelievably cheesy! But since when have kung-fu movies been believable or realistic? As I like to say: Come! On! Why let it ruin your day? Or your movie? Give Hero a shot! ;-) Believe me, I'm not trying to convince you that wire-work is the pinnacle of movie-making techniques. I'm just saying that you shouldn't let it keep you from enjoying the movie.

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Not another teen movie

You must have seen the TV version; do you remember the Italian foreign exchange student who wore no clothes at all... ever? It was part of the cliche- it was satirizing the abundance of nudity in teen flicks!

Krylo · 08-29-2004, 01:05 AM

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You must have seen the TV version; do you remember the Italian foreign exchange student who wore no clothes at all... ever? It was part of the cliche- it was satirizing the abundance of nudity in teen flicks!

Forgot her. She was blurred in the tv version, but still there.

The other movies all still count, however. So would a thousand others if I could remember their names.

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Come! On! Why let it ruin your day? Or your movie? Give Hero a shot!

Because it destroyed hidden tiger crouching dragon, the bride with white hair used it very very little, and it still made that movie considerably worse (if I'm remembering the right movie)... and where did it happen in twin warriors? Maybe once or twice when he jumped on some spears or something?

Plus, there's not a single goddamn reason that a movie that pulls down as much money as CTHD and Hero did/are doing can't use matrix-esque flying effects, if they really MUST have flight.

synkr0nized · 08-29-2004, 01:16 AM

How's it look on the big screen?
I've seen it thrice already, so I probably won't wander out to see it again now.

Which reminds me: the import copy I have needs to be returned to its owner.

KefkaTaran · 08-29-2004, 01:53 AM

Just to make sure you guys know, going with the 'Tarantino's only good move was Pulp Fiction" comment... this isn't ACTUALLY a Tarantino movie, as I understand. Tarantino did not direct nor help in the creation of this movie. He simply brought it to the U.S. and is, as such, 'presenting' it.

CheshireThief · 08-29-2004, 02:01 AM

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Originally Posted by KefkaTaran

Just to make sure you guys know, going with the 'Tarantino's only good move was Pulp Fiction" comment... this isn't ACTUALLY a Tarantino movie, as I understand. Tarantino did not direct nor help in the creation of this movie. He simply brought it to the U.S. and is, as such, 'presenting' it.

Well... I'll see it as long as he wasn't involved in it... in any way at all.

AndyBloodredMage · 08-29-2004, 02:43 AM

I'm gonna have to agree with Krylo for the most part on the wire thing. When I saw CTHD by the end of the movie I was just annoyed by the air fight scenes. If Hero is more of that, I'm gonna have to pass on it.

CheshireThief · 08-29-2004, 02:56 AM

I still haven't seen CTHD. I don't think Wire-Fu is necessarily a bad thing, more like a personal taste issue. It's not for everyone, but it can be enjoyable to watch.

08-29-2004, 12:22 AM	#11
Krylo The Straightest Shota Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: It's a secret to everybody. Posts: 17,789	One scene of that will ruin the movie all by itself. You could have the best plot in the world. The best ground fight scenes ever. The most wonderful dramatic plots... and in the end, having that cheesy crap will make it feel like I'm watching a bad seventies sci-fi... only without all the other cheesiness that makes it funny. __________________ I am very tired.

08-29-2004, 01:16 AM	#16
synkr0nized synk-ism Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: throughout the Wired Posts: 6,857	How's it look on the big screen? I've seen it thrice already, so I probably won't wander out to see it again now. Which reminds me: the import copy I have needs to be returned to its owner. __________________ Find love.

08-29-2004, 01:53 AM	#17
KefkaTaran Magikoopa Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 1,545	Just to make sure you guys know, going with the 'Tarantino's only good move was Pulp Fiction" comment... this isn't ACTUALLY a Tarantino movie, as I understand. Tarantino did not direct nor help in the creation of this movie. He simply brought it to the U.S. and is, as such, 'presenting' it. __________________ So break, my heart, for I must hold my tongue.

08-29-2004, 02:56 AM	#20
CheshireThief Still RaiRai's ***** Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Shut up, KP. Posts: 2,365	I still haven't seen CTHD. I don't think Wire-Fu is necessarily a bad thing, more like a personal taste issue. It's not for everyone, but it can be enjoyable to watch. __________________ Holy crap! A CheshireThief spotting!