Chimera Unit Report 1: Initial Thoughts and Observations

[Fuzzydoom]

Apollo's wigns deliver a crushing burst of wind into the vampire, hurling it backwards into a wall. As the vampire hung pressed to the wall by the force of the wind, Apollo threw a pylum hard enough to pin it to the wall. He grimaced, looking decidedly unhappy. "I'm fine," He calls to Artemis "But I think I'm losing my touch, that last throw missed the heart by half an inch. It's abyssmal." He walks over to the wall and pulls out his pylum, turning to a heavy oak door where he had seen two of the vampires disapear. He advances on the door purposefully, a dark exprssion on his face.

[CallmePrismatic]

Artemis chuckled and pressed the piece to his ear. "Everything looks fine Charisma, numbers don't always equal strength." Dodging another punch the incubus pushed a vampire away before delivering an uppercut that sent the soulless monster soaring. Drawing his stake he ran forward to deliver the killing strike but his target was dragged away by a pair of tentacles.
Who the hell has tentacles? As Artemis ran through the member list in his mind the body of the vampire was lifted into the air. The tentacle's grip relaxed then began to plunge into the undead's body, crisscrossing through the skin as the vampire screamed in pain. They finally stopped and began to bulge at strange intervals as Artemis realized what was going on.
"Holy shit, what's happening to Riley!?" A friend of the vampire screamed as his pack buddy's internal fluids were drained into the tentacles. The incubus didn't take notice at the scream as his eyes followed the trail back to the source, a humanoid looking piece of stuff.
"Charisma, tell me what the hell that thing is..."
"Visual uplink achieved, sending creature information...NOW!"
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DRI Creature File 11WUT2
Aspergilus Hominis (AKA: Mushroom Man)
Physical Description: Being a type of fungus, the 'Mushroom Men' are usually featureless, and could actually be mistaken for a human mold if it weren't for the tentacles that make up their arms.
Strengths: No higher thought functions (fear, pain, and the related are overidden by the need to feed), mobile and highly agile tentacles, a paralyzing gas spore
Weaknesses: Fire-phobic (their skin is highly combustible and increased heat disorients them), not capable of strategy.
Miscellaneous: Created during the middle ages to clean up dead bodies, these almost-sentient fungi decompose the dead much like actual mushrooms clean up plants. Used most recently by morticians to clean up pre-funeral bodies.
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"Well, at least they're on our side, even though I can't figure out why they're away from the office." Artemis sighed as the tentacles withdrew from the undead body, leaving a gasping husk. He began to turn towards the other members of the vampire nest and was slammed into the wall. Craning his head backwards he saw the tentacled monster closing in. He was pulled back and slammed again, then lifted upwards and shook. The tentacles bent back then snapped forward sending the incubus flying toward the barred windows. He closed his eyes and willed his body to sublimate and flew through the bars as the flesh that was his body became insubstantial mist, barely ruffled by the metal. He turned solid as gravity took hold and rolled along the ground outside the building.
"Why the hell is it trying to eat me if I'm not alive!" Artemis screamed into the receptor.
"Good news, it doesn't want to eat you, it just thinks you interrupted its food supply so it wants to kill you...although once you're dead I suppose it will eat you...kind of 'glass half empty' situation."
As Artemis mulled over Charisma's horrible pep talking the doors burst open and a mob of vampires swarmed out. Fighting to the death was ok but being eaten had apparently crossed a line. Inside Artemis glimpsed his team and saw at least four more of the mushroom men.
"Artemis, you can't let those vampires get away, they might hurt someone."
Artemis nodded to no one in particular and ran towards the vampires while calling back to his team to fall back. No sooner had he begun to forumulate the words than the transponder crackled back into life. "Don't leave those mushrooms there, they might attack again."
"Fine. GUYS, split up, we gotta catch the vamps and kill the mushrooms. Half with me, half stay here." He resumed his run towards the deserters, not paying attention to who followed him and who fought the mushrooms.

Nada heard the conversation being broadcast over the headset network. His was taped to his smooth skull, since the headpiece had nowhere to grip. "Mushrooms eating vampires? On any other day, that might seem strange. My footspeed is no match for them... I can stay here and stomp some fungus. Fungus can't eat metal, right?"

Stomping along, he walked through a closed door, which soon became a large hole, and entered the main chamber where a tentacled lump of.... ew, goo, or something, was eating a vampire. "Since you tried to kill my team-mate, I think we're going to skip the negotiations." He walked up to it, turned, and back-dropped his entire bulk onto the creature. There was a sqeaul, a squawk, and a puff of myconoid mucus in the dented floorboards where the metal man lay.

"I think I got one. Anyone got a match?"

[PyrosNine]

Chris knew how to make fried mushrooms. Resuming the female form, she flipped over to a bottle of wine the undead had in their care, and grabbed and pulled out her lighter. In her sights was gaggle of mushroom men and vampires fighting to the death. She sipped some of the wine and held the lighter under her mouth. She blew a stream of flame toward the group, burning them all. The mushrooms and Vampires flailed wildly in the midst of the flames, and then all fell to the ground as ashes.
"Anyone want some Shitake?"

[Rhiya Ravenwing]

There was a sharp bark of a fox, possibly irritated. Fox sped in, dismayed that she had come too late to help torch the mushroom man.

Then, replacing the fox was a handsome young woman, hands burning with fire, yet unharmed from her own flames. "You had a bonfire without inviting me? Shame on you," she said with a southern drawl.

Nada stood up, bits of his clothes still on fire. "You know, just because I don't burn doesn't mean I didn't like this shirt..." He tried to put some levity in his voice, but he was never sure if it worked. "Still, cool trick. I should get myself a flamethrower or something..."

[Inbred Chocobo]

While some of the team preoccupied the mushroom men, Razma ran off to take down the rest of the vampires. He went for his magnum while running and blew the head off of the foremost runner of the deserters. The vampires must have realized they weren't going to escape that easy and started to split up, half ran one way, half ran the other. He saw Artemis run for the left group so he took the right.

[Toastburner B]

CLANG!

"SONOFA!" Bo yelled. "Who the heck puts this cross beams up, man!"

Bo, still rubbing his head, and making sure to duck, ran after Razma and Artemis, figuring the others had the fungus well in hand. When he saw them split up, he slid to a halt. Looking up and down both hallways, he chose to follow Razma.

The ceiling down the right path was a little higher.

[Fuzzydoom]

Apollo followed Artemis as he watched Bo chase after Razma. "Fine, guess it's me and the crazy soul-stealer." He suddenly gave a great flap of his wings and lifted into the air, allowing him to travel much faster than normal. As he flew he saw Artemis chasing the rouge vampires. He increased his speed and dropped directly into the path of the fleeing vampires. Un-able to stop itself, one of the vampires ran straight onto Apollo's sword. As the rest came to a skidding halt and found their escape route cut off, 3 or 4 bolted into the surrounding woods. Apollo followed hot on their heels. Leaving Artemis to deal with those still on the path.

[ThanosOfTitan321]

Gamut hears the orders and chooses to take on the mushroom men. He takes out his crossbow and fires 3 flaming bolts into a mushroom man, then dashes up close to him to finish him off with a fiery sword. He looks at his defeated foe for a small moment before he is tackled from behind. He manages to throw the offender off of him, and just as he sees the vampires face, it gets engulfed in Chris's alcoholic fire breath.