Fucking Awesome DnD Moments/Campaigns

[krogothwolf]

We currently just got out of a trail after slaughter a temple of vekna in a city. Wasn't the smartest thing we did.

We all knew this would = jail yet we did it anyways. I was tempted not to go but then I was like that would be the most boring sessions ever just sitting there as they do all this fighting and i randomly roleplay. considering the slaughter took 3 game sessions then yeah it would a sucked.

So now we have to planer hop as payment for a guy who helped get us off, the guy was leading the investigation for that matter. On the plus side, my flame strike did burn down the temple of vekna. Was a total accident but it was cool that I burned it down with a well placed flame strike that started furniture on fire and then spread through the rest of the building. My party was mad at me cause they couldn't loot the corpses.

[TDK]

Part of the reason for my party's trouble with Druids and Treants is that they have burned down like...six forests now.

3 of them have fire weapons, and then there's the red dragon. =P

[krogothwolf]

We had a really entertaining session involving a Red Dragon once.

So we have a guy who tends to play a self-righteous character a lot and he was playing a Mage this time and he took a job to try to create peace between waring barbarian tribes to open up the trade route. We were all for just eliminating one or the other, my character was fairly bloodthirst so he was not happy that the Mage decided to try for peace and was going to cut his head off but was told to stop cause the chance for slaughter wood be huge with him screwing this up.

So first was he tried to impress them by casting a fire ball into the sky, didn't work and they ran from him so he chased them to the point of exhaustion on his Phantom Stead and then tried to caste another fireball to impress them again. This attracted a Red Dragon which proceded to slaughter the tribe of Barbarians as they were exhausted from running away from the crazy mage.

The second tribe of barbarians we just waded in and slaughtered em all without the mage who was to busy crying because he lead to the slaughter of a tribe of barbarians.

[Sam, the Nanti-SARRMM]

This is in Exalted. It more like a huge moment of stupid and all, but I think it may count because to us other players, it's hilarious.

A while ago game story wise, the circle found a fair folk manse thing underground, and we invaded. We ended being caught and around then school and stuff caught up with a couple of us. So a players temporarily leaves to focus on school and in the game, an agreement was made to bring some DB's to the fair folk. Anyways, the guy came back and not wanting to be super behind in experience did a couple of sessions with the GM to get his character some xp and to get some storyline.

So this character is night class, who focuses on martial arts. Turns out he tried to escape the manse, failed, and was captured. He was thrown in a wyld jail cell that made him furry (+1 to lethal/bashing soak) and three inch fangs that do damage like daggers. His stuff was taken and he's with this Ornament Fair Folk, who wants and likes attention. So the night caste dude ends up 'capturing' her and runs off with her. Basically the fair folk lady is his lover as long as he keeps things interesting.

Now, last session, before finding the party, he decided that he was tired of being furry and decided to power quest through a level 5 wyld zone (That was created because another player ended up destroying a level 5 manse...).

So, he enters and gets caught up in a wyld storm. He loses the fur, but is addicted to the wyld now. Also unknown to him, his skin is harder. Actually, the player and character think that he is immune to the wyld, which makes it funnier.

So now he's joined the party again, and we're all suspicious because he has fangs, a mysterious light in his eyes, and proclaims his love for the fair folk lady who wants the DBs that we owe her now.

[walkertexasdruid]

An actual D&D Conversation:

Ultimate Villain: "I am your worst nightmare!"
Goofy halfling rogue(me): "You mean you are bloody paste!?"
Ultimate Villain: "What do you mean by bloody paste?"
Goofy halfling rogue(me): "Well bloody paste is my worst nightmare."
UV: "I am not bloody paste!"
GHR(M): "Then you cannot be my worst nightmare."

My character was named for and somewhat based on one of my favorite Dragonlance characters, Tasselhoff Burrfoot. Needless to say he had many other interesting moments during this campaign while it lasted.

[Kikero]

I once played a CN halfing Sorcerer... with 6 Wisdom. Early on, while in a forest, I found a "talking bush" that startled me, resulting in the use of Burning Hands. One spell later, there was a naked man curled up in front of me.

After leaving the forest, we were accosted by a group of bandits that demanded we pay a toll to use the road. I used Charm Person on the leader, gave him a platinum piece, and then we went on our jolly way.

There was also the time I polymorphed myself into a Hydra to get out of a room full of magic cats that were trying to kill me. o_O

[BitVyper]

So all of our characters were the champions of one god or another, and we went to a tournament that would basically decide the order of our pantheon for the next age. I was a rogue/priest, serving the god of thieves. In the third last round, I used a sword I'd gotten in an earlier adventure to cut open a hole in the planes, because War's champion was too damn impossible. Well this sword was from a really ancient race, and it was very difficult to control. I ended up opening a gate to some kind of primal chaos, which started slowly filling the arena. Me and War's champion both decided to forgo trying to kill each other in favour of staying the fuck away from it. Turns out I could fly and he couldn't.

So in the semi final match of the tournament, I faced off against my friend's paladin. Now he was pretty well prepared for me, but unbeknowest to him, I'd stolen a very powerful magical item from our wizard (he'd won it and a few others due to my OoC coaching anyway). It was a gem that could juice up spells to a much greater level of power. Under normal circumstances, they basically used charges to increase a spell's attributes. Before the Paladin could close the distance between us, I whipped out the gem and a scroll of shapechange. I asked the DM if I could drain the totality of the gem's power into my spell, and he said I could, but I'd have to retire my character after.

I turned into a gold dragon. Permanently.

"What's my size category?"
"Lets... lets call it 'Titanic.'"
".....should I roll a dice?"
"Sure"
"Sixteen"
"He's dead."

I stayed out of the last round both because my god didn't want to lead the pantheon, and because there was a 50/50 chance my soul would get destroyed by the last champion.

Edit: Unfortunately, as a result of my summoning primal chaos, and being immersed in it temporarily, I was permanently blinded as well, but my dragon form got a cool breath weapon, and the god of Valor together with the god of Rebirth were able to give my sight back partially. Fortunately, gold dragons have blind-sense.

[Kikero]

Originally Posted by BitVyper

I turned into a gold dragon. Permanently.

Epic. XD

You should give me pointers on playing a rogue/priest, because I totally want to play that.

[BitVyper]

Originally Posted by Kikero

Epic. XD

You should give me pointers on playing a rogue/priest, because I totally want to play that.

In terms of roleplaying, or in terms of using your abilities? Because as long as you take the thief oriented domains, rogue/cleric is crazy fun. There are a lot of low level spells that really help enhance your thiefy ways, and the domain powers are great. The only crappy thing is that it gives you a third stat that you need to make at least decent, whereas rogue and wizard cross over a bit on int.

As far as roleplaying goes, I did it like this: My character was a member of a secret sort-of ninja-like order who ostensibly worked to maintain the balance of power and wealth. Of course, if you trust a thief when he tells you his totally-not-fake motivation, you're an idiot, so we were basically a small, elite thieves' guild that worshipped The Hidden God, and occasionally worked to maintain the balance of wealth and power while not stealing for ourselves.

One of the unique things about our order was the masks we wore. Members of the order got a whole bunch of fancy equipment, including special animal-themed masks. They didn't confer any bonuses, but what they did was this: When you first put it on, the mask would bond to your face like a second skin. Henceforth, the mask would be invisible to anyone not wearing another of the masks. This meant that no one outside the order knew who you were within it, and no one inside the order knew who you were outside of it. Furthermore, the masks had pieces of animal spirits attached to them, so anyone using a true seeing spell would likely believe it to be some kind of totemic thing unless they actually knew about the order. Within the order, we called ourselves by the names of our masks.

Epic.

My retirement was even better. See I spent the better part of the campaign gathering living specimens of all kinds of rare plants from across the planes. I also made friends with unique druids in a few places. Now see, largely as a result of my actions (NOBODY KNOWS THIS! DO NOT TELL!), our continent got.... well.... bad things happened to it. You know V's Familycide thing? Well imagine if, instead of doing that, he'd turned about a tenth of the world's dragons into crazed dracoliches. That was only part of what happened to our former continent. Nothing like an epic artifact going haywire to make things interesting.

Anyway, there was this group of druids that needed a new home. I had been negotiating with them to maintain a big greenhouse I was going to make so that all the bizarre plants I'd gathered from across the planes could survive together.

It just so happened that my task in retirement was to protect one of the three great pillar-type-dealies of our world (one of them getting busted was what caused the aforementioned disaster). It was hidden in a tower, in a secret valley on another continent, guarded by dragons that lived there. I offered the druids a new home if they'd maintain it. They were amicable to this offer, so we went off to build a paradise valley that made Eden look like an ill-kept flower patch.

That was my character's retirement: Get turned into an uber dragon and go live in paradise. And for what? SCREWING EVERYONE! AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! I love playing rogues so god damned much.

[PhoenixFlame]

Since it's been mentioned previously, a few of my favorite moments are from Exalted. I tend to play twilights, whom are effectively the sun's sorceror-engineers of yore, and basically the party's absurdly competent 'smart person' in the vein of Scotty, Major Carter, or Agatha Heterodyne.

The first hilarious incidents involved Glorious Winter Rose, MASTER alchemist. Rose lives in the far north, beyond Gethamane and in a small village beyond the map. Rose was, as a mortal, under the tutlege of MASTER ALCHEMIST Burnished Owl, who is an old heroic mortal and thus, ten times more badass than he looks. He is also a scavenger lord, and Rose is technically still his apprentice. I don't remember a lot about this game beyond my character, so I'm afraid I'll only be able to recount things that related to her.

One day, Rose is greeted by a messenger boy wearing a yellow shirt. He is also wearing yellow eyes, and blonde hair. This is normally strange, but Rose dismisses it, because she can't really remember what the boy looked like anyway. Most people are of the mind that the boy is of absolutely no consequence, or more likely that he was never a boy at all, nor did he look strange. The boy is not important however, his message is, for it is a misdelivered message for Rose's mentor! Being a dutiful apprentice, she informs him posthaste.

I'll timeskip the boring bits, but suffice to say it is an adventure hook, and Rose is given her official paperwork and released as an apprentice, and put on the team for the GLORIOUS ADVENTURE to an ancient vault from the first age. Her friends (A dawn and night caste, who's names I can't remember) are also drafted for their unique skills. An expedition is put forth with a shady man and a guild factor, whom for those of you whom have played exalted know is ten times shadier than the shadiest man.

There is travelling, until the Caravan encounters a troupe of Raksha, a fair folk procession of an artisan and tens of hogoblins astride ice beetles. She wishes to trade with the caravan, and Rose, being the resident Occultist is put up to negotiate with her. While the Raksha have many perfectly crafted items, they are of little consequence to the success of the mission that Rose tries to pass on dealing. Yet, the Raksha is an Artisan! Her motivation is to trade excellent wares, and to refuse to trade excellent wares is a grievous insult!

Rose sweatdrops.

She thumbs her fingers, having no money with which to deal in such excellent goods. Then, with great glittering in her eyes, she points out that she is also a master artisan, and has her own excellent goods. ((Rose happens to have a self-crafted alchemically treated buff jacket (her labcoat) and alchemical steel staff.)) Much appraising of goods is done all around, and Rose offers to use her expert ability to shape metals to construct something the Raksha wants, so that she can trade. The Raksha immediately accepts, and requests a baby.

Rose sweatdrops again. Her circlemates gasp, and there is much taken abackness.

Rose protests "I can't do that! Babies aren't made of metal!", but the Raksha does not relent. Surely, if a pair of the basest humans can construct babies from flesh and bone, surely a MASTER ARTISAN GLORIOUS WINTER ROSE can construct the finest of babies from alchemical steel? Rose protests again, citing that the recipe for creating babies from flesh and bone is quite sacred and to profane the process by changing the materials would alter the result. The Raksha is not impressed, and demands to know what the recipe is. Rose pitifully turns to her circlemates for assistance, whom back away, not wishing to become involved.

Rose sheepishly explains. The Raksha is mortified.

The two parties part ways without further interaction, but as they cross a mountain covered not with snow, but sand bearing an impossible geomantic tug, Rose stops and examines the dirt. It is highly important that she do this, but the rest of the group does not understand. They think she has gone mad. Perhaps Rose had gone mad, but suddenly with a great gout of smoke and shifted dust, a tornado dragon of geomantically negative sand swirls across the horizon directly for them!

Rose sweatdrops. She feels she has made a tremendous mistake.

The dragon greets them, and Rose waves back. He knows that they are solars, but the rest of the mortals do not, because they are not as cunning nor perceptive as an ancient tornado-sand dragon. "HALT! You must not go that way! Turn back at once!" he declares in a roaring, scathing voice of a tornado sand dragon. The mortals cower in fear, and Rose's compatriots draw arms. Rose is unpreturbed, and makes the mudra of the unyeiling scholar, "Sorry, I'm going that way." she says. The Tornado-sand Dragon sighs, and says "Fine. I was merely instructed to warn you that TERRIBLE THINGS lie ahead." and disappears.

The mortals are in awe. Glorious Winter Rose is truly a compelling scholar.

The caravan continues, until they come across a black, tile-like road that is completely undamaged, existing since antiquity. It appears to be alchemical, so Rose is quick to examine it. As one normally tests stones, she orders one of the mortals to crack off a piece for her to examine. Things do not go well, so she resolves to examine the road with her alchemical touchstones. Marking the road to determine it's composition, she drops one of the stones. It moves, then jiggles, and then melts. And with great reactive mass, boils, explodes, and the remnants slowly to the edge of the road and are disgorged, as if the road itself was alive. The road is mostly harmless, unless you are an alchemical touchstone, in which case you are doomed. The party meets a group of monks travelling to the same location, led by a man who cannot speak. They allow the monks to accompany them, and a 'Speaker Reflection' translates for 'Brother Silence'. There is a prophecy involving suns and a vault, and various positions of the day. Rose and her circlemates become paranoid.

They continue. Rose notes more of this black alchemical stone architecture, and that it is made from hexagonal stones. This is intriguing, because hexagonal stones could not result in such perfectly smooth, square, monolithic architecture. She examines one of the hexagons closely, and determines that the sum of it's angles exceed three hundred and sixty degrees. Glorious Winter Rose is a young twilight, and her mind is still stuck in human thinking. She goes mad.

The caravan continues. Within minutes, Rose recovers from paranoia and madness, for she is good at this sort of thing, and madness is fleeting when one is an incarnate demigod of mad science. They come to the vault, and there is a tumultous storm, but the locks and ancient seals of the vault are trivial before their superhuman prowess. The caravan continues inside, but is halted at the next set of doors.

Here, there is a locked portal and three signs. One is in old realm signalling that the location was sealed by the solar deliberative for it's extreme danger, and that mortals should by no means continue. A second is moonsilver, and it is a bunch of claw scratching and defacing marks on the stone that Rose cannot decipher, and ascribes to damage. (This is really Lunar clawspeak, but Rose is hilariously cavilier in her pursuit of knowledge.) A third in low realm, ascribing the place as tainted by the SOLAR ANATHEMA(TM) and that no-one under any circumstances should go through.

Rose and her circlemates go through, accompanied by brother peace and speaker reflection.

The location is carved entirely from the alien alchemical material, and the party continues until they are stopped by an aging servitor automata guarding a bridge over an ocean of assumably acidic liquid. Rose attempts to reason with it, but it shoots lasers at her. There is a brief fight, and it is killed. Rose, not wanting to leave a magitech automaton to waste, wastes no time dismantling it. Yet the automata of the first age are jealously guarded secrets, and the core overloads in a self destruct sequence. Rose angrily laments and throws the automata over the bridge, where the liquid sea sucks it up as if it were made of living glue. There is a tremendous explosion. The invincible alchemical stone bridge cracks in two, and the entire party is thrown prone.

Rose attributes her mistake to a minor error, but her circlemates give her looks of extreme displeasure. She quietly continues on into the large temple-like atrium beyond. Here, there is a massive treasure of mundane valuables and minor artifacts, surrounding a massive orichalcum altar. Above, there is a carving of the Ebon Dragon, the Primordial Big-Bad of Bastardry. (No seriously, this is like, his domain.). It breathes a gout of fire, and it's eyes light up the room, but it does nothing else. As the Ebon Dragon and Unconquered Sun are mortal enemies, Rose is taken aback and extremely confused. Still, the group ascends the altar and allows Brother Silence to activate the altar with a keystone that will, Speaker Reflection assures them 'activate the device and seal the corruption'. The device activates, and there is a tremendous clanking of gigantic pistons and orichalcum gears. The assembly rises, and within it emerges a tremendous, eight-legged, spiritual fire entity with six arms and burning eyes. Riotous waveforms of the sealing device's energy spew outwards as it comes to life.

"Who're you?" Rose asks.

The entity introduces itself as Kata'strope (Or some similar pun), the God of Unnatural Disasters.

Rose sweatdrops, and then blinks. What the hell?

Katastrophe introduces himself, his function, and that he is the patron of the race known as the Hexajin, which built this location. A number of alchemical jars break, and spirits expel and animate a number of alchemical corpses. They rise and bear spears. He also points out that they worship the primordials and that Rose has let him out of his punishment of being sealed away for eternity because of his crimes.

"... I'm putting him back." Rose comments to her circlemates.

Katastrophe points out that his survival is part of the Primordial's surrender agreement from the great usurpation, and that if she kills him, the demon gods of Malfeas and the Ebon Dragon will walk free again.

Rose sweatdrops, this was really bad. You see, Glorious Winter Rose is a scholar, and as such she has not learned very many combat techniques. In fact, she has no experience since chargen, and she only possesses one combat charm, if you could call that charm a combat charm at all, as it is actually the introductory dodge charm. She has no artifact weapons. Rose is essence 3, and knows one relevant terrestial sorcery spell, and has cast it today. The Virtuous Guardian of Flame springs to life from her staff, and makes as angry of a gesture as a autonomous flaming sword can make. It's pretty good, but Katastrophe is not impressed.

The player of our Dawn caste wasn't so well versed in combat, and so when Brother Silence and the Necron Lords, er, Hexajin attacked us, she and the Night caste fought them back. Rose alone stood before the C'tan, er, Celestial God of Unnatural Disasters. She is weak, but strong of spirit and with great courage. She stamps her foot angrily, yells, and lunges forth.

For several minutes, Rose and the Celestial God of Unnatural Disasters trade blows. Rose is protected from his firey fists by her own ability to dodge and her flaming sword's great alacrity in blocking attacks. Soon, Katastrophe decides the sword is annoying, and dispels it. Rose punches him in the face. He collapses.

Rose knows better than to cast spells in combat.

With great effort, she heaves his unconcious form onto sealing chamber platform, and uses her great wisdom in the art of things ancient to cycle the device in reverse. The great god of unnatural disasters is once again put away (for now), and many lost artifacts are recovered!

It was epic, and goes to show you that Solars are so awesome, that sometimes you don't even need flashy charms or martial arts to beat up gods.