Quotes 2 - Page 2

06-07-2004, 01:58 PM

CAN MIAMI SAVE ITSELF?

For those readers too stupid to figure out the answer, there also was this helpful hint:

A City Beset by Drugs and Violence
The overall impression created by the cover was: Sure Miami can save itself! And some day trained sheep will pilot the Concorde!

The story itself was more balanced, discussing the pluses as well as the minuses of life in South Florida, as follows:

* MINUSES: The area is rampant with violent crime and poverty and political extremism and drugs and corruption and ethnic hatred.

* PLUSES: Voodoo is legal.

-Dave Barry on a story in the New York times on Miami.

The_Bear · 06-07-2004, 08:45 PM

Church - "And then she ripped out his skull and beat him to death with it."
Tucker - "Wait a minute, that doesn't seem physically possible."
Church - "That's exactly what he said."
"THIS DOESN'T SEEM PHYCIALLY POSSILBLE!"...THUD

Red vs. Blue

Joseph Pandora · 06-08-2004, 08:44 AM

"Caboose how are you doing? You fallowing any of this?"
"I think so... that guy is really a robot and your his boyfreind which makes you... a gay robot."
"*sigh* Yes. I am a gay robot."

-Red vs Blue

06-08-2004, 08:46 AM

"Internet debate exhausts me, and it's everywhere. If you looked at one side of a pointless argument as a zero and the other as a one, you could easily see the internet as it is: an unending stream of binary code stretching off monotonously into the horizon. We'll debate about Jesus, we'll debate about Bush, we'll debate about which Evil Dead movie left the other installments behind�the subject matter is irrelevant. What matters is the conviction that we've got it all figured out, and no effort should be spared to drag everyone else on the planet into the bright, unblinking dawn of our rightness."

- Jay Pinkerton

Swift Wang · 06-08-2004, 09:07 AM

"These rappers need Jesus, no they really need Oprah"-Murs

06-08-2004, 09:10 AM

New York Taxi Rules

1. Driver Speaks No English.

2. Driver Just Got Here Two Days Ago From Someplace Like Senegal.

3. Driver Hates You.

TheZeroMan · 06-08-2004, 06:16 PM

"The Disaster will touch you too."
-Ghengis Khan

NachoManLance · 06-08-2004, 08:40 PM

How to Leave the Planet

1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (731)483-3111. Explain that it's very important that you get away as soon as possible.

2. If they do no cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House - (202)456-1414 - to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.

3. If you don't have any friends at the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They don't have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.

4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.

5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it's vitaly important you get away before your phone bill arrives.

~Douglas Adams

06-07-2004, 08:45 PM	#12
The_Bear Using the same avatar since 2003 Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Nobody reads this line. Posts: 759	Church - "And then she ripped out his skull and beat him to death with it." Tucker - "Wait a minute, that doesn't seem physically possible." Church - "That's exactly what he said." "THIS DOESN'T SEEM PHYCIALLY POSSILBLE!"...THUD Red vs. Blue __________________ Why yes, I am tehmazing. Thank you for noticing.

06-08-2004, 08:44 AM	#13
Joseph Pandora Master of the Universe Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Olyimpia, WA Posts: 414	"Caboose how are you doing? You fallowing any of this?" "I think so... that guy is really a robot and your his boyfreind which makes you... a gay robot." "sigh Yes. I am a gay robot." -Red vs Blue __________________ Consider yourself smote.

06-08-2004, 09:07 AM	#15
Swift Wang Nomad Patriot Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: South FL Posts: 21	"These rappers need Jesus, no they really need Oprah"-Murs __________________ "Swift as the breeze, my Wang in the trees" - Holy Ninja Bible

06-08-2004, 06:16 PM	#17
TheZeroMan The man is at the window. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Lane Posts: 408	"The Disaster will touch you too." -Ghengis Khan __________________ "Gentlemen you can't fight in here! This is the War room!" FNORD

06-08-2004, 08:40 PM	#18
NachoManLance Galactic Hitchhiker Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 88	How to Leave the Planet 1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (731)483-3111. Explain that it's very important that you get away as soon as possible. 2. If they do no cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House - (202)456-1414 - to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA. 3. If you don't have any friends at the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They don't have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try. 4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible. 5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it's vitaly important you get away before your phone bill arrives. ~Douglas Adams __________________ :rmage: : Last night I dreamt that napalm demons made me drink a gallon of glass shards soaked in hot sauce which itself , was on fire. Weird Al Yankovic Official Website :fighter: : I'm afraid I don't follow... :bmage: : Then you must bleed.

06-07-2004, 01:58 PM	#11
BMHadoken Guest Posts: n/a	CAN MIAMI SAVE ITSELF? For those readers too stupid to figure out the answer, there also was this helpful hint: A City Beset by Drugs and Violence The overall impression created by the cover was: Sure Miami can save itself! And some day trained sheep will pilot the Concorde! The story itself was more balanced, discussing the pluses as well as the minuses of life in South Florida, as follows: * MINUSES: The area is rampant with violent crime and poverty and political extremism and drugs and corruption and ethnic hatred. * PLUSES: Voodoo is legal. -Dave Barry on a story in the New York times on Miami.

06-08-2004, 08:46 AM	#14
Mr. Wind-Up Bird Guest Posts: n/a	"Internet debate exhausts me, and it's everywhere. If you looked at one side of a pointless argument as a zero and the other as a one, you could easily see the internet as it is: an unending stream of binary code stretching off monotonously into the horizon. We'll debate about Jesus, we'll debate about Bush, we'll debate about which Evil Dead movie left the other installments behind�the subject matter is irrelevant. What matters is the conviction that we've got it all figured out, and no effort should be spared to drag everyone else on the planet into the bright, unblinking dawn of our rightness." - Jay Pinkerton

06-08-2004, 09:10 AM	#16
BMHadoken Guest Posts: n/a	New York Taxi Rules 1. Driver Speaks No English. 2. Driver Just Got Here Two Days Ago From Someplace Like Senegal. 3. Driver Hates You.