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Unread 07-26-2008, 03:08 PM   #2131
Donomni
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Donomni single-handedly slew a dragon. Donomni single-handedly slew a dragon. Donomni single-handedly slew a dragon. Donomni single-handedly slew a dragon. Donomni single-handedly slew a dragon. Donomni single-handedly slew a dragon.
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O.o

Also:

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Chirrrrrrp. Also, dead blog.
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Unread 07-26-2008, 03:24 PM   #2132
TDK
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TDK is like Reed Richards, but prettier. TDK is like Reed Richards, but prettier. TDK is like Reed Richards, but prettier. TDK is like Reed Richards, but prettier. TDK is like Reed Richards, but prettier. TDK is like Reed Richards, but prettier. TDK is like Reed Richards, but prettier.
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Even better than the half-life one?


(Well, this a different person I think.)

Quote:
John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brother was one day in an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went.
John Freeman got his computer shut down and wet on the platform to go up to the roof of the building where he left his motorcycle and normal people close because he was in his office lab coat. John Freeman got on his motorcycl and said "its time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences" so he had to go.
John Freeman ramped off the building and did a backflip and landed. He kept driving down the road and made sure there was no zombies around because he ddint have weapon.
The contrysides were nice and the plants were singing and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for John Freemans quest to help his brother where he was. John Freeman looked around the countrysides and said "its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys".
John Freeman was late so he had to drive really fast. A cop car was hiden near by so when John Freeman went by the cops came and wanted to give him a ticket. Here John Freeman saw the first monster because the cop was posessed and had headcrabs.
"I cant give you my lisense officer" John Freeman said
"Why not?" said the headcrab oficer back to John Freeman.
"Because you are headcrab zombie" so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking "my brother is in trouble there" and went faster.
John Freeman had to go faster like the speed of sound and got there fast because Gordon needed him where he was. John Freeman looked at road signs and saw "Ravenholm" with someons writing under it saying "u shudnt come here" so John Freeman almost turned around but heard screaming like Gordon so he went faster again.
John Freeman drove in and did another flip n jumped off his motorbike and the motor bike took out some headcrab zombies infront of John Freeman. John Freeman smiled and walked fast. John Freeman then looked on the ground and found wepon so he pickd it up and fired fast at zombie goasts in front of a house.
John Freeman said "Zombie goasts leave this place" and the zombie goasts said "but this is our house" and John Freeman felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were zombie goasts so he blew up the house and killed the zombie goasts so they were at piece.
Then John Freeman herd another scream from his brother so he kept walking really faster to get where he was. Ravenholdm was nothing like the countrysides there was no birds singing and the pants were dead and teh dirt was messy and bloody from headcrabs.
When John Freeman got to where the screaming was started from he found his brother Gorden Freeman fightin the final bosss and Gordon said "John Freeman! Over here!" so John Freeman went there to where Gordon Freeman was fighting. John Freeman fired his bullet from teh gun really fast and the bullets went and shot the final boss in the eyes and the final boss couldnt see.
Gordon Freeman said "its time to end this ones and for all!" and punched the final boss in the face and the final boss fell. John Freeman said "thanks i could help, bro" and Gordon Freeman said "you should come here earlier next time" and they laughed.
The laughed overed quickly though because John Freeman yelled "LOOK OUT BRO!" and pointed up to the top of the sky. Gordon Freeman looked up and said "NOO! John Freeman run out of here fast as you can!" and John Freeman walked real fast out.
John Freeman loked back and saw Gordon get steppd on by the next boss and he was mad and angry.
"I'll get you back evil boss!" John Freeman yelled at the top of lungs.
And the youtube version.

Last edited by TDK; 07-26-2008 at 03:31 PM.
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Unread 07-26-2008, 04:46 PM   #2133
Meister
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Meister slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Meister slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Meister slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Meister slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Meister slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Meister slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Meister slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Meister slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Meister slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Meister slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Meister slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay!
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John Freeman is now my favourite character in the entirety of English fiction.
Quote:
the cop was posessed and had headcrabs
Somehow this gets even better if you imagine John Freeman murdering a cop for his dandruff problem, only to almost get thwarted by the amendment someone made to the Ravenholm sign in crayon a few miles down the road.

Incredible.

Oh look, a sequel.
Quote:
Half-Life: Full-life Consequences 2: What Has Tobe Done

John Freeman walked like speed of light back to his motorcycl and left behind the bad place behind him. John Freeman had to ride his motorcycle really fast back to the office but John Freemans gas ran out. John Freeman jumped fast off the motorcycle and landed on dead peoples hands.

"Gordon Freeman is now these hands... i must kill the next boss and live up to full-life consequences!" John Freeman said out loud.

John Freeman picked up a laser gun and aimed it at trees to see if he could. John Freeman shot and tree fell down in front of him. John Freeman seen eggs fall out of the tree and he put them back home safe.

"These birds dont have to see Gordon Freeman yet. its not time." John Freeman said to him.

John Freeman had to walked faster and was back at his office work and on a computer. He looked on the internet and found the next boss.

"I know his weakness now" John Freeman said. And after that he got emails from someone. John Freeman opened up the emails and read them.

"Dear John Freeman, how are you? I miss you at home come home safe and soon with Gordon Freeman for thanksgiving dinner. Love mom." John Freeman looked at it and got sad and yelled "I WILL KILL THE BOSS AND GORDON FREEMAN WILL BE HAPPY SOUL!" then he turned on off the computer and wet on the platform again down to his other more faster motorcycle that had gas in it this time.

John Freeman put the laser gun on his motorcycle and his machine gun and his rocket gun that he found on the side of the motorcycle. He went through traffic and went fast like litning to back to Ravenholm and back to the bad place where Gordon Freeman was. John Freeman went off road and did backflips and landed on back wheels but kept going too.

John Freeman went really fast again like before and was soon back again at Ravenholm but saw more zombie goasts. John Freeman said to them "Zombie goasts i have killed your friends at the old house and i dont want to shoot your heads. move near the countrysides and you will be friends of John Freeman." The zombie goasts said that "no we will kill you" and walked fast to John Freemans motorcycle. John Freeman waited until they were in front of his motorcycle and backflipped off his bars and shot heads below and landed and walked fast to where the next boss was.

"you will be one of us!" yelled the dead zombie goasts. John Freeman laughed and shot a rocket at them.

John Freeman saw the next boss far down the road and walked slow this time. He walked really slow like a turtle and sat down on a rock and watched the next boss near the dead last boss and where the place that Gordon Freeman was. The next boss was laughing at John Freeman so John Freeman said "YOU WILL NOT LAUGH AT ME!" and shot a rocket at him since that was his weakness.

The next boss died and John Freeman was happy. He walked over to the dead bosses and put them under the ground and planted pants on them so instead of messy dirt and dark there was pretty things there now to be happy.

John Freeman walked to where Gordon Freeman was lying dead and crushed from the next bosss feet and looked down. A tear droped out of John Freemans eye and landed on Gordon Freeman.

"You are dead bro and i killed the evil boss." John Freeman told Gordon Freeman

Then John Freeman saw something bad. A headcrab was on Gordon Freeman! Gordon Freeman standed up and said "John Freeman... you got here slow and now i am zombie goast. you will pay..."

to be continued...?
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Unread 07-26-2008, 05:14 PM   #2134
Zakreon
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Quote:
then he turned on off the computer and wet on the platform again
Poor John and his bladder control issues.
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Unread 07-27-2008, 01:25 AM   #2135
Mirai Gen
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Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
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The Mary Sue levels are over nine thousand.
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Unread 07-27-2008, 02:00 AM   #2136
BitVyper
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What! Nine thousand!?

Sorry, sorry. Everybody can carry on.
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"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea is asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace; we've got work to do!"

Awesome art be here.
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Unread 07-27-2008, 02:13 AM   #2137
Sir Pinkleton
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Don't forget the youtube version of the sequel as well.
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Unread 07-27-2008, 04:21 AM   #2138
Doc ock rokc
...Really?
 
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Doc ock rokc has almost as many rep points as they do fail posts Doc ock rokc has almost as many rep points as they do fail posts Doc ock rokc has almost as many rep points as they do fail posts Doc ock rokc has almost as many rep points as they do fail posts Doc ock rokc has almost as many rep points as they do fail posts Doc ock rokc has almost as many rep points as they do fail posts Doc ock rokc has almost as many rep points as they do fail posts Doc ock rokc has almost as many rep points as they do fail posts Doc ock rokc has almost as many rep points as they do fail posts Doc ock rokc has almost as many rep points as they do fail posts Doc ock rokc has almost as many rep points as they do fail posts
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...i really got to get back sleep
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Unread 07-27-2008, 04:30 AM   #2139
Mirai Gen
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Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mirai Gen can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
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...I'm not seeing it.
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Unread 07-27-2008, 05:15 AM   #2140
EVILNess
si vales valeo
 
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EVILNess bakes the most delicious cookies you've ever tasted. EVILNess bakes the most delicious cookies you've ever tasted. EVILNess bakes the most delicious cookies you've ever tasted. EVILNess bakes the most delicious cookies you've ever tasted. EVILNess bakes the most delicious cookies you've ever tasted. EVILNess bakes the most delicious cookies you've ever tasted.
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There might not be anything there, some of them are like that.

Try these, there is something there.

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Originally Posted by Carver from Dragon Quest VI
I once dreamt that my head turned into an apple pie. Everyone was trying to eat me and when I tried to scream, nothing but applesauce came out of my mouth.
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