NPF Avatars Miniquest: The Promise of Free Food!

[Flarecobra]

I smiled as the bombs flew overhead. I looked up and chuckled. "Hey, I wouldn't use you as a bomb. Besides, these guys are dying from pokes." I said, using my tail to slap away some of them who got too close. "And I'm glad I wore a dark-colored shirt today."

[Fenris]

Fenris felt dejected as he was ignored by his little explosive friend. ""

So he took out his sorrows by throwing a hammer at the imps. And beat them with his knapsack.

[Loyal]

Loyal wasn't terribly fond of imps. They had a habit of trying to get their grubby little paws into his pockets to take his things because they just knew how to get a rise out of him. It seemed to be one of the few things they were good at, knowing just how to annoy someone.

But these ones were filthy little bastards as well. So he took great relish in swatting a bunch of them away with the flat of his sword just to inflict more pain. At one point he caught one by the neck and started using that as a second melee weapon.

He couldn't stop his gloves and boots (and some of his pants) from getting dirty though, that would be silly.

"You're -" he smacked an imp off the side of the head with the Lightbinder. "- Not -" he tossed an imp into an oncoming set of three. "- Worth -" one imp got a boot to the face. "- The -" and another, before getting skewered on the end of the sword. "- TROUBLE!" he flung the Sh-imp-kabob off, but due to poor aiming with arcing ballistics (especially with something like this) ended up sending it flying straight at Flarecobra.

"Flare, incoming nuisance! Five o'clock!"

[FF fanboy]

Fanboy looked up, ot of the emo section of hell he was interested in, and noticed that everyone was fighting some sort of Imps, and although he had every reason just to sit there, and sulk but for some strange reason he felt compulsed to help them so he decieded to contribute just this once(:p). He grabbed his buster sword the blade gleaming darkly off of hells, and Rygars flames he leapt into the fray gallantly, and began slicing up the tiny little buggers to the best of his ability. Although he quickly got angry at the little imps because they had an obession for screwing with his "perfect" hair. THAT DOES IT! SPIN ATTACK! with that he swung his outrageously huge sword in weird arcing semi circles, that seemed to do little more than keep them at bay, and slice up the ones dumb enough to get to close.

[Arhra]

Arhra II's face showed a brief spasm of displeasure as imps of annoyance appeared. Being by far the most elaborately dressed of Rhiya's guests, they posed the greatest threat to her. Not even the fact she was wearing dark colours could negate this; accursed embroidery was her downfall!

Fortunately, she was able to defend herself. Shimmering dark wings, breaking up into feathery brightness at the tips and patterned with veins of colours manifested on her back. They curled and changed shape, trailing edge feathers jabbed out impossibly far as long, needle-like tentacles to stab the horrid pests.

In case it wasn't enough, Arhra called on her chaotic sorcery to create a field of star-like motes about her, ready to shoot anything that got too close.

As for Arhra III, obviously enough she had made her big fancy introduction after Rhiya had transported everyone to Hell. That was obviously what had happened. Obviously!

A sootfoot imp got a nasty black footprint on her pristine white shirt and she predictably flipped out. She leapt into the fray, moving to fight off the imps mobbing Rhiya.

Why was Arhra III in hell? It was quite a story.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the past

It was a bright an sunny day and in Arhra's home, her minions were having breakfast.

Arhra had a bad habit of unintentionally picking up flunkies in the course of crazy adventures. She'd rescued a magical girl from a perverse and badly drawn existence as a subboss, made a hydra-like snake monster more humane, resulting in an unimaginatively named hydra-like snake monster person, and finally accidentally transformed her beloved sniper cannon into a gynoid when trying to reload it.

Arhra III walked in, oddly happy.

"Lily, I just had a great idea!" she said, focusing on the first person she saw.

The magical girl Arhra II had addressed blinked in surprise. "My name is -"

"The entire universe gets messed with and you're complaining about little inconsistencies like that? Why not how Two's marriage didn't happen and never did*? Or about how I am now twice as rich as I used to be? Or about Sokar, the Egpytian god of decay?!"

"Is that why he's been standing out on the front lawn?" Lily peered out the window. A towering, bird headed man stood outside, arms crossed and stared impassively into the distance. He still showed no sign of going anywhere.

"Yes. Anyway, I was hanging out with Sokar and I finally figured out how to get an advantage over myself: I must learn kung-fu!"

"But Arhra," Hydra chipped in (guess which one she was), "Aren't all of you really good at spontaneous apeshit combat already?"

Arhra III's eyes narrowed. "Then I must make my kung-fu stronger than theirs by training to become stronger! I will pour my burning rage that burns like the fires of a thousand suns into the most extreme training regimen under the most sadistic mentor I can find! Then I'll show them!"

"How do you even find that sort of course, Arhra-chan?" the magical girl replied - Arhra had found it impossible to stop her using those suffixes. In Lily's understanding of how these things worked, you usually had to encounter your teacher by chance.

"Well, seeings its training from hell, I thought why not go to the source? And if I'm going to Hell, I'm taking you with me!"

"Why?! That's so meaaan!"

"Frankly, I can't remember the last time you did anything." Arhra III smiled a knowing smile. She knew the secret weakness of magical girls. "Also, you're getting fat."

"I'm not fat!" Lily said indignantly. "You're the one who's been gorging yourself while moping about losing your powers!"

"HOW DARE YOU!!"

The third of Arhra's minions, Kayessa, spoke up to defuse the situation. She didn't need to eat breakfast. She was just being social. "Will it just be you two going?" she asked.

"Kayessa! You're perfect just the way you are, but I'd like it if you came too. Hydra, you could do with some more toughening up too. Your battle record's kind of shaky."

Hydra looked sulky at this reminder.

"Let's go to Hell!" Arhra III crowed.

* Also Spiderman's webshooters are now mechanical.

OOC: Long flashback is long. Also, my cunning excuse explains the inconsistencies in my previous post! >> << I really should have read the thread closer...

[Flarecobra]

I turned and lobbed a fireball at the incoming imp at Loyal's warning. I coughed as it exploaded in a cloud of ash. Fed up with these things, I started throwing up walls of fire, so that their movement would be impeded.

[FF fanboy]

Fanboy noticed that his awesome spin attack was'nt working very well at all. Hey, spin attacks always work, maybe ot's because my sword s like 10 feet long! Maybe I should slash more, and spin less! Filled with glee, by ths revelation his began happily slashing in long curving arcs against the ash covered imps.
WHEEEEE!!!! he screamed, cutting things was fun! He then realized that his manic depression was over, and stopped. "Wait if I'm not depressed, that what sterotype do I fit into? thinking about thi puzzled fanboy, as he hacked through the soot covered imps, he realized which one he now fit into! He was no longer just your typical emo fanboy he was now the rabid fanboy, standing up, and cutting anyone down who dares question his beliefs!

[Rygar]

Rygar decided against flailing his limbs about like a madman. Instead, he opted to simply turn up the heat of his flames, sit back and watch the other NPFers attempt to save their hair and clothing. It wasn't long before the imps proved themselves combustible.

He just hoped the damn things would be smart enough to stop flying directly at him.
They really were quite annoying.

[Astral Harmony]

"Agh! Hah!"

Armored was having some trouble with the Sootfeet Imps. They were small, they were quick, and the soot they left in the air hurt her eyes. But she was quite fast herself. Her kill count was two so far. The rest of the ones targeting her (four) became smart enough to stay out of her swordarm's range. Armored grit her teeth and raised her right hand, palm exposed. "Bolts of blue, eliminate all in my sight! Spark Lance!"

A vein of radiant blue lightning shot out and struck one of the Sootfeet Imps, charring it horribly and knocking it out of the sky. A quick sword swipe finished it off. "All that dance training paid off. I'm just fast enough to cut these freaks."

But she couldn't do much else. She didn't know what hellbeasts were capable of, so she was stuck, eyes on the other three imps.

[The Kneumatic Pnight]

A white blot on the tangled black trees suddenly was, moving erratically between pillars. K.P. Morgan, white coat stark against the dark gyres that seeped into the air, leapt between dark branches. He twisted in the air as he fell, and with a sweep of his heavy left boot sent a couple of imps crashing headlong to the ground. They hit hard and exploded in unnecessary puffs of black soot.

Today was shaping up to be an interesting choice for K.P.’s expedition. Whence Rhiya wandered, soon followed madness. This was either going to be fun or aggravating beyond measure.

More likely both for different people.

A couple of the more impetuous demons dove forward, clutching and clawing and leaving their sooty impasto upon the air itself. K.P. shifted his grip on his serpent-headed cane and began an unnecessarily impassioned defense of his clothing. The cane moved with impressive speed. Here the fangs impaled a scrawny demon. There the head impacted with a satisfying crack. Everywhere imps were impelled away, often enough to their smoky deaths. This was simplicity incarnate; their tactics never improved, they might well have been predicted by an imperceptive man. But despite this imparity they remained impavid.

No, this was far too irritating. A severe impatience progressively impressed itself upon his mind. K.P. sighed, and glanced around for an exit, but found himself impenned by a whorl of the impurity-trailing vermin.

There was only one way to go.

Well, two, but what do I look like, a mole?

Seriously, what’s wrong with you?

Stupid.

Oh, right, anyway... UP!

K.P. leapt from the circle to the tops of the trees and bounded from branch to branch, laughing as a number of pursuant imps crashed headlong into the foliage.

“Impeciles...” he muttered to himself, smirking.