Pet peeves for the next generation... - Page 3

Solid Shadow · 08-23-2005, 06:02 PM

60) No more in-game instruction manuals that you can't skip. Final Fantasy VIII is a prime example of this. I wanna kick some Ifrit ass, not have a nerdy chick telling me how I can avoid ice damage by hanging some magic charms from my balls. The game comes with a frigging instruction manual. If players are too stupid to read them, they don't deserve to know how to play the game.

61) No more games based on the following:

Reality TV
Movies (especially superhero flicks)
Mary Kate & Ashley (unless they get nekkid)
Fighting/Basketball playing rap artists
Shitty cartoons (Fairly Oddparents, Recess, etc.)
Decks of cards
WWF/WWE/OTHER THREE LETTERS Wrestling (Unless it's XXX)
Game shows
Ideas hastily scribbled on a cocktail napkin during a weekend bender in Amsterdam

62) Publish fewer games. Look at how many games are released across all platforms each year, then subtract the number of those games which are worth playing for more than thirty seconds. The resulting sum equals the pile of shit thrown at us every year, and it gets bigger and bigger as time goes on. They want our money, but most of them seem like they're not willing to work for it. It's time to get the shit/gold ratio back on track.

63) An RPG without all the standard cliche's of the genre. "Hi, I'm a mild mannered country boy of little importance who's just escaped from prison and into a dragon-infested wasteland, and I found a sword and something wierd and glowing spoke to me in my sleep and informed me that I'm chosen for some reason and I have to save the world. Which is really crazy, cuz I rape kittens for fun, but somehow the fates have looked kindly upon me anyway. Oh, and the blue-haired chick with the gun who hates me? Yeah, I'll be banging her by the third disc when she realizes how much she's in love with me. I just hope she doesn't turn out to be my long lost sister. Cuz then while I'm banging her it's gonna be hard not to think about what our kids might look like."

Nique · 08-23-2005, 06:04 PM

64) Create more open ended storylines.
I can handle archetypes. They typically make a pretty good story - but the distinctions made between good and evil in most epic storytelling video games are too concrete. Final Fantasy is a great series of games, but what makes it more ok for Cloud to kill off hundreds of Shinra soldiers then for them to kill him? Oh, right. Becuase they work for an "evil" corportation.

Granted, sometimes these issues are addressed as guilt on the charecters part, but ultimatly they are 'forgiven' becuase you wind up fighting for the greater good - saving the universe etc. I just dont see why the "villian" should always be trying to destroy the known universe - OF COURSE you'll stop him/her/it/kefka. But what would you do against an enemy you can REALLY and truly sympathize with, and who's cause might even be just? What do you determine is right and wrong?

RPGs deserve the epic scope of the great battle between true good and evil - sure. But lets mix things up every ONCE in a while, huh?

Jagos · 08-23-2005, 07:32 PM

Quick question:

Would anyone object if I edited this list and sent it to a few companies in mind? I know someone like Gabe of Penny Arcade may just like this also.

Bob The Mercenary · 08-23-2005, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JC123

Quick question:

Would anyone object if I edited this list and sent it to a few companies in mind? I know someone like Gabe of Penny Arcade may just like this also.

Sure, give it a shot. But, Gabe gets about a hundred emails a day, just as a warning.

Gorefiend · 08-23-2005, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JC123

...your margin will be much higher than getting Jewed over for your royalties.

Jewed? I'm Jewish, but don't take offense, mostly because I'm too busy being curious. Would you enlighten me on this new term? Is it coincidental? Or is it based on the stereotype that Jews are shrewed business people?

However, I must say I agree with tons of these. Especially Illuminatus.

And, an extension to 56, which I'll allow you to decide if it will be 56a or 65:

It cannot be stressed enough that we gamers aren't always in the richest of demographics. $50 is a deep hole in our wallet. $400 is unspeakably expensive. Please remember this as you price your consoles and games.

ZERO. · 08-23-2005, 07:52 PM

65)For the love of all thats holy stop with the crappy endings, im tired of waiting for months on end and then get slaped with a crappy ending.

Bob The Mercenary · 08-23-2005, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gorefiend

Please remember this as you price your consoles and games.

And peripherals. I'm not paying through the ass for a memory card, required hard drive, modem, extra controllers that should come with the system, and other stuff.

Gorefiend · 08-23-2005, 08:06 PM

Especially on the memory cards there. That gets REALLY annoying.

I got one more:

66) We uderstand that many of us gamers are capable of affording new devices, like video cards and processors, to keep up with you, but please understand that not all of us can. When you develop your games, try and make sure that they'll play well enough on a less-than-state-of-the-art machine.

Jagos · 08-23-2005, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Jewed? I'm Jewish, but don't take offense, mostly because I'm too busy being curious. Would you enlighten me on this new term? Is it coincidental? Or is it based on the stereotype that Jews are shrewed business people?

The stereotype that they're shrewd business people. Other than that, a wizard did it.

:P

Adoria · 08-24-2005, 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JC123

The stereotype that they're shrewd business people. Other than that, a wizard did it.

:P

Yeah, unfortunately it's another stereotype. If you want a good example, read Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice.

08-23-2005, 06:02 PM	#21
Solid Shadow Earth-Pig Borne Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Past, Present, and Footure Posts: 237	60) No more in-game instruction manuals that you can't skip. Final Fantasy VIII is a prime example of this. I wanna kick some Ifrit ass, not have a nerdy chick telling me how I can avoid ice damage by hanging some magic charms from my balls. The game comes with a frigging instruction manual. If players are too stupid to read them, they don't deserve to know how to play the game. 61) No more games based on the following: Reality TV Movies (especially superhero flicks) Mary Kate & Ashley (unless they get nekkid) Fighting/Basketball playing rap artists Shitty cartoons (Fairly Oddparents, Recess, etc.) Decks of cards WWF/WWE/OTHER THREE LETTERS Wrestling (Unless it's XXX) Game shows Ideas hastily scribbled on a cocktail napkin during a weekend bender in Amsterdam 62) Publish fewer games. Look at how many games are released across all platforms each year, then subtract the number of those games which are worth playing for more than thirty seconds. The resulting sum equals the pile of shit thrown at us every year, and it gets bigger and bigger as time goes on. They want our money, but most of them seem like they're not willing to work for it. It's time to get the shit/gold ratio back on track. 63) An RPG without all the standard cliche's of the genre. "Hi, I'm a mild mannered country boy of little importance who's just escaped from prison and into a dragon-infested wasteland, and I found a sword and something wierd and glowing spoke to me in my sleep and informed me that I'm chosen for some reason and I have to save the world. Which is really crazy, cuz I rape kittens for fun, but somehow the fates have looked kindly upon me anyway. Oh, and the blue-haired chick with the gun who hates me? Yeah, I'll be banging her by the third disc when she realizes how much she's in love with me. I just hope she doesn't turn out to be my long lost sister. Cuz then while I'm banging her it's gonna be hard not to think about what our kids might look like." __________________ "Sometimes I go into my own little world...but that's ok. They know me there." -Joel Hodgson "Tears are our pre-payment for laughter ahead" -Mara the Malevolent solidshadow.blogspot.com

08-23-2005, 07:52 PM	#26
ZERO. Geek/Nerd extraordinaire Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: In my computer. Posts: 691	65)For the love of all thats holy stop with the crappy endings, im tired of waiting for months on end and then get slaped with a crappy ending. __________________ p\|_\|7 \|_\|R h4\|\\|d 0\|\\| 4 H07 570\/3 Ph0R 4 \|\/\|I\|\\|\|_\|73, 4\|\\|D i7 533\|\/\|Z lIk3 4\|\\| h0\|_\|R. 5I7 \/\/I7h 4 pr377y GiRl Ph0r 4\|\\| h0\|_\|r, 4\|\\|D I7 533\|\/\|Z Lik3 4 \|\/\|i\|\\|\|_\|73. 7h47'Z r3l47i\/i7y. Albert Einstein leetified. Last edited by ZERO.; 08-23-2005 at 07:54 PM.

08-23-2005, 08:06 PM	#28
Gorefiend That Guy Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: The city that doesn't sleep Posts: 1,039	Especially on the memory cards there. That gets REALLY annoying. I got one more: 66) We uderstand that many of us gamers are capable of affording new devices, like video cards and processors, to keep up with you, but please understand that not all of us can. When you develop your games, try and make sure that they'll play well enough on a less-than-state-of-the-art machine. __________________ The world of truth has no certainty. The world of fact has no hope. "Environmental laws were not passed to protect our air and water... they were passed to get votes. Seasonal anti-smut campaigns are not conducted to rid our communities of moral rot... they are conducted to give an aura of saintliness to the office-seekers who demand them." - Frank Zappa, prelude to Joe's Garage Ever wonder THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS?

08-23-2005, 07:32 PM	#23
Jagos FRONT KICK OF DOOM! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Howdy pardner... Posts: 6,399	Quick question: Would anyone object if I edited this list and sent it to a few companies in mind? I know someone like Gabe of Penny Arcade may just like this also.