Deadly Dressings and Sauces

[Long-Haired Narcissist]

Damn, why are so many off topic threads about food? Now I'm hungry; I'm gonna break out the ramen noodles and all the spices I can find to mix in it.

[Hex]

you may or may have not heard. a kid at wheaton north high (nearby chicago) decided it would be funny to jizz in the ranch dressing. now THAT is an extreme topping.

i go to wheaton warrenville south and was lucky

[Thylacine]

I don't like anything hot. I'll drink some hot sauce on bets or whatever, typically any restaurant with the stuff on the table ends up with it being bet on. The only things I remember getting to me are a packet of crushed red pepper seasoning and a packet of some kind of barbecue seasoning.

Sour things, though, are delicious. I always eat too much, and my tongue gets super sensitive. Only drawback to sour foods.

[Fifthfiend]

Originally Posted by Hex

you may or may have not heard. a kid at wheaton north high (nearby chicago) decided it would be funny to jizz in the ranch dressing. now THAT is an extreme topping.

i go to wheaton warrenville south and was lucky

Okay seriously, what in the hell does that have to do with this thread and why would you think anyone would want to know that? Warned for off-topicness and generally being weird and gross.

And I hate to burst your bubble, but there's a rumor about a kid who put his special sauce in the cafeteria food at every high school ever.

...and come to look at it, why is this in Off-Topic? Moving to General.

[Tydeus]

Someone at my school brought this with them, and thought it would be fun for everyone to try a little. Being incredibly white, and generally a pussy, I declined, but this stuff is truly blistering, from what I've seen. I mean, I live in LA, right? We had Asians of all manner trying this stuff (including one Thai, of course), Hispanics, Persians, Turks, Arabs -- no one could stand more than the tiniest dip of one's pinky finger into the sauce. Most people were set ablaze simply by dipping a toothpick into the stuff, and sucking it clean. One guy took a decent dip with his index finger, oh man. After the burn in his mouth, he was wracked with stomach pain. It was like someone had poisoned him. And if you guessed that two hours later he took the worst shit of his life, you guessed right.

If a 6'4, 220+ lb football player born in Mexico is literally floored by this stuff, then I think it must be pretty fuckin' spicy. Admittedly he took a full teaspoon, but still.

I wholeheartedly recommend it to everyone on this forum.

Originally Posted by Nique

Oregon

I always got the impression that you didn't live in the states. No idea why, but I did. Also, Nooooooorthsiiiiiiiiiiide! Representin' the beaver state!

[Meister]

Well, at some point you might as well bottle pure capsaicine and be done with it. That's as hot as it gets.

[Tydeus]

Originally Posted by Meister

Well, at some point you might as well bottle pure capsaicine and be done with it. That's as hot as it gets.

Pure what-now? This is a thread about spice. It's a harsh, unforgiving, but ultimately rewarding thread, where men are men and women are women and goddamnit we're all just trying to get by. This thread ain't got time for your hifalutin' city-slicker science.

...Unless, like, you had a wiki link?

[Meister]

You call yourself a conoisseur of spiciness and do not know what makes the spiciness work in the first place?

You, sir, fail.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capsaicine

[Fifthfiend]

Originally Posted by Meister

Well, at some point you might as well bottle pure capsaicine and be done with it. That's as hot as it gets.

As a matter of fact, they do.

[Tydeus]

Originally Posted by Meister

You call yourself a conoisseur of spiciness and do not know what makes the spiciness work in the first place?

I did? I think all I said was that I had a friend who brought bitchin' hot sauce to school, and then gave you a link. 'Cause I'm generous and helpful like that. There was no discussion of conoissuership.

You, sir, fail.

...at being bad at anything, or unappealing in any way? OK, you've got me there.

Also:

Originally Posted by Wikipedia

In large quantities, capsaicin can cause death. Symptoms of overdose include difficulty breathing, blue skin, and convulsions. The large amount needed to kill an adult human and the low concentration of capsaicin in chilis make accidental poisoning by chili consumption exceedingly unlikely.

So that's why the Mega Death Sauce bottle has all those warnings...