NPF Avatars 5 - Bread and Circuses

[PyrosNine]

Oh my god! THE E's! The horror! The sudden pain!

Pyros attempted to wriggle his flexible feline self out of the form that had enveloped him. "Air! I needs air! Lest I return to davy jones locker!"

***

Pyros: Captain! The ship cannae take annae moor!
Pyros: Full speed you bilge rats! We've been sailing all day, and the progress so far has been despicable!
Pyros: Fixed the rigging captain! There was a banana in it!
Pyros: Good show! Now that's some work getting done!
Pyros: I've mopped the poop deck! There was an Asheth in it!
Asheth: Very good, very good. See, some of you can do adequate work!
Pyros: I've tied down the heretics, m'lord! They shall never escape the Pyrosian Inquisition!
Pyros: You call that a knot, you filthy dog?
Pyros: Well, yeah. It's not a bad knot. It cuts off the circulation damned well!
Pyros: Well, I says you do it again, savvy?
Pyros: Fine then I-URK!
Pyros: Now let that be a lesson to you! We need to do it all over again, better! Or else we'll never get moving! NEVER!
Sub-Pyros: ...What the hell? I left for 2 minutes to get something to eat, and you've already started making fun of Pirates of the Caribbean?
Pyros: Yes. Because I hate Calypso! How dare she get a movie deal? Along side the awesomeness that is Johnny Depp, no less!
Pyros: I agree with you captain. She's a downright moneygrubbing 'ore, that she is.
*blasts him with a pistol*
Pyros: Shut up you. No one likes a kiss-ass.
****

Pyros emerged from the arms enough to see who it was doing the hugging. "Huh? Rhiya? Rhiya Ravenwing? Not Raven Rhiyawing? Is it truely you?"

Pyros's body stopped emitting the burning flame. "Well, if that's the case, by all means carry on then."

[POS Industries]

"Hey now! Those are for everyone!"

Rei's android incarnation had been darting about the dining hall, meeting and greeting the contestants just as she caught sight of a large North American brown bear hunched over the buffet table, tearing into the swordfish face first. Hoping to halt a PR nightmare before it began, Rei hurried over to the offending ursus and, emitting a low electrical hum from her internal gravomagnetic generation system, created a small reverse gravity field around the bear and gently lifted it off the ground before stopping it at Zero-G a few feet in the air.

"Okay... Hey! HEY!!" She started, being quickly interrupted as the bear swiped at her, impacting against a quick electromagnetic forcefield she'd generated around herself, "That's a naughty bear! You can't just make a mess like that in here! Am I going to have to put you outside?"

"Grwoarawr...." The bear responded pathetically, hanging helpless in null gravity.

Rei nodded happily and picked up a plate, "All right. I'll fix you a plate and we can try not making a mess again, okay? Here, we'll get you some more swordfish, maybe a little salmon and whitefish... You want some popcorn shimp? It's good. There you go. Who's a good bear? Yes, you are!" Rei gently petted the bear as she set it back on the ground, scratching it behind the ear as she gave it a whiff from the plate in her other hand and led it through the dining hall.

"Let's see, I think we'll put you over at table five..."

[mauve]

"As far as you know, we don't have a studio," Mauve replied. She leaned back against the side of the POS Industries building.

"We have to pretend we have a studio, Ecurt. If we don't, then Gaia News might draw a connection between the fact that they're missing a van equipped with live TV broadcasting stuff and the fact that we suddenly managed to come up with live tv broadcasting stuff. Not that Gaia could do anything about it, but we must think of our station's image."

She stood back up and went inside.

"Oooh, I've got an idea," she said over her shoulder to Ecurt. "If anyone asks, we blame FOX." She edged over to a buffet table and grabbed a cookie.

"And media ISN'T a place for fish. It's a fact of nature. It's just not in their genetic structure."

[The Kneumatic Pnight]

"But she's beautiful!" Sparky protested, groggily, scrabbling to his feet to hug PX-05. He had hardly made it to his feet, though, when KP was behind him, grabbing him by the collar of his labcoat. Spinning on his left foot in almost a half circle, KP tore Sparky away and thrust him in the other direction.

“Go bother the annoying one! And stop making a nuisance of yourself!” he yelled at the dejected anthrosaur, who slunk off in the general direction of Rei, a floating bear, and the buffet.

It was also where Jane Doe, food spilling down her tank top and camouflage pants. Rei led the bear off, and Jane Doe yelled after them, food spurting from her overfull mouth, “Yeah, you stupid bear, learn some manners!” At this point, she took a bite directly out of a rather large ham.

It was then that Commander Blood wandered by, followed closely by two skeletons: one with a camera and one with residual fox ears and tail. She was yammering, “...and I made Twiddy pregnant, and I made Loyal pregnant, and I made Phoenix pregnant...” as she wandered by.

KP merely looked stupefied. “I’m getting hosed on their salaries, aren’t I?”

[Truce]

Mauve was worried about their station's image. Their nonexistant station's image.

For a second, he wondered briefly who was a better boss: Pyros or Mauve. In the end, he decided that the only difference between them was a horrible obsession with marriage. Maybe multiple personalities as well, but then again Mauve did like having her mood swings.

"What I'm saying is that we'll lose a majority of the Fish Demographic if it the story ever gets loose that you ate our employee. They don't care about your fancy schmancy diet!"

Ecurt paused, as if suddenly recalling something. "No. Wait, actually that's a lie. There were a few emails saying that you are beginning to get fat, but that's just Newb's opinion. Or was it Melfice's?"

[CheshireThief]

With a nearly deafening "Pop" sound, a tiny pinprick of a hole in the space-time continuum burst into exsitance above a small stage near the buffet. Tiny rays of prismatic light burst dazzlingly through the pin-hole in all directions, flooding the room with a hazy, brilliant glow. After a moment, a shadow started developing from the center of the glow. Roughly man-height, roughly man-shaped, but with cat ears and a tail, the shadow grew more solid. Ethereal trumpets blasted a fanfare with the ghostly sounds of an angelic chorus joining in to make quite an uproarious, rejoiceful din. The light faded, the pinprick disappeard with a considerably less audible "pop", and the rays of light died with the music.

After a few moments, CheshireThief grinned, pulling his guitar out of mid-air. Dramatically, he glanced around the room and strummed a single chord.

"Guess who's back."

[Incendius]

The door to the sign up area of the stadium slowly slid open, but only a few, slight inches. Through the crack, a set of compressed robes, and a white mask slid in, attempting to be inconspicous.

As soon as the robes and mask cleared the doorway, they quietly dropped to the floor, and started sliding along side the walls of the room. The inhabitator of these two objects was obviously trying not to be seen, by too many.

He obviously remembered how he had willingly not told the other NPF members about the events of Gaia and Raiden, just because it had ammused him not to do so. He hoped they thought he was acting out of some obscure planar law if they did recognize, and remember him.

In either case, the robes and mask found their way to the buffet after Incendius had levitated the pen and signed his name as one of the contestants. HOW exactly a being with no body, and comprised of cloth and bone started to eat, was something few could fathom.

[Red Mage Black]

Black arrived one the scene in his most dramatic way possible. A rain of fireballs came pouring down from the sky like meteors. Though one seemed different from the others. It was bigger and had someone inside it. This one crashed to the ground in front of the food buffet leaving a huge scorch.

Black, kneeled over after the landing, stood up and eyed the food. "Glad I didn't miss this. Tequitos and nachos. Sweet." After gathering as much food as humanly possible on to a single plate, Black checked around spotting the usual NPF regulars. "Glad to see I won't be bored. Where is that crazy teacher of mine? Oh well, he'll probably be here soon."

He let out a mighty roar and started to shove food into his mouth. You could swear he didn't even chew.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

K36 walked in the front door, and knowing the rest of the people attending the tournament he was probably the first person to actually use the thing.
After wandering around the room for a while he found himself at the buffet table, Sitting down after grabbing a doughnut he started banging his hand against his helmet, wondering how the hell he was going to eat without taking it off.

[Jeneralissimo]

The Jeneral sat in the press box, legs crossed and resting over the row in front of her. She had been here for a while, making sure she got the best spot in the box. She could have sworn she saw that imposter, that crazy girl, Mauve, outside with her screwball cameraman who always wore a tuxedo. They shouldn't even be allowed in. They're not real reporters. Heck, their van looks stolen. She thought. Well, I don't want to be up here when they start their bickering. Might as well go check out the buffet. She picked up her staff, never far from her side placed wards on her area of the box, and then headed off for some food.